chaoshurtled-a

[chaoshurtled-a]

FLEABAG | 2.06

#dyn ; feel badly for upsetting things (leandra). #going to go insane thinking about leandra & marian's relationship instead of writing a paper <3

[chaoshurtled-a]

I DIED MY WAY INTO THE WARDENS & YOU PUNCHED YOUR WAY TO CHAMPION. WE ARE ESTEEMED.

carver & marian hawke

catherine barter, troublemakers // supernatural // brenna yovanoff, the replacement // jacqueline woodson, weight // edward john millais, the two princes edward and richard in the tower // richard siken, you are jeff // maggie stiefvater, call down the hawk // walk the moon, iscariot // succession // hannah gadsby // fleabag // dragon age 2

#dyn ; just a little bit too much like me (carver). #and i wonder: what did they do with the bodies? (introspection). #i should be doing homework instead i am thinking about Them xoxo

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rising from the dead to say that fleabag & claire is Big marian and carver vibes

#the bickering... 'the only person i'd run through an airport for is you...' #loving each other even if you don't like each other all the time... #ooc. #honestly the more i watch fleabag the more she's Big Marian Energy #her dad saying 'i think you know how to love better than any than us & i think that's why it's all so hard for you' #i'm foaming at the mouth

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Could you please reblog this if it is okay to ask you straight up if you want to ship?

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PROMPTS   FOR   THE   HEAVY   HEARTED

the burdened:

“  being alive is exhausting.  ”

“  i ruin everything i touch.  ”

“  no one ever helped me when i needed it.  so,  i just.  try to do my best to keep others from feeling that kind of loneliness.  ”

“  i feel like the pain is all i am anymore. ”

“  i wish i remembered anything other than loneliness.  ”

“  i’m not a particularly good person.  but sometimes i wish someone would think i am.  ”

“  i’m just always the one who gets left behind.  ”

“  i never seem to belong anywhere.  or to anyone.  ”  

“  i’m alone.  and it’s my own fault.  but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  ”

“  i don’t know how to just live.  i constantly feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.  ”

“  i always expect people to hurt me.  because they usually do. ”

“  i don’t know how to let go of my trauma.  i don’t know what i am without it.   ”

“  it’s better if i’m alone.  i can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one close enough to get hit by the debris of my fuck ups.  ”

“  there are just too many people depending on me.  i can’t rest.  i can’t let them down.  ”

“  i don’t have anything or anyone left anymore.  ”

“  i’m not strong.  or brave.  i survive ‘cause there’s not really any other choice. ”

“  i tried to give up before.  but the universe just didn’t let me.  ”

“  i just want to be done.  i’m tired.  i’m so,  so fucking tired.  ”

“  i know it’s selfish.  but i wish someone would just take care of me.  ”

“  every time i start to feel like things are getting quieter and i can feel safe,  something bad always happens.  ”

“  i tend to love people more than they love me.  and it’s okay.  i don’t mind but…it can be lonely.  ”

“  i just don’t feel like my life makes any difference to anyone.  i’m just here.  ”

the comforter: 

“  hey,  look at me.  i’m listening.  you can tell me anything. ”

“   how can i help you feel less alone?  ”

“  i’m here and i’m not leaving or letting you change the subject.  now talk to me. ”

“  i know you feel like you’re alone and i’m not going to invalidate that.  but i can tell you that i’m here.  and i know there are people who want to care and help if you’ll let them.  ”

“  whatever it is you’re struggling with,  i want to help and it’s not going to make me look at you any different.  ”

“   i like having you around.  and not because of what you can do for me or give to me—  i like you.  i value you as a person.  ”

“   i just need you to know that you’ve never been ‘nobody’ to me.  you’ve never been nothing.  ”

“   you’re important to me.   you hear me?  you’re important.  and that’s never gonna change.   ”

“  i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep.  ”

“  i want to take care of you.  please,  let me.  ”

“  no one is meant to be all alone.  that’s not how humans are built.  you don’t need to do all this on your own.   ”

“  you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you.  you never did.  ”

“  i can’t promise you aren’t going to have any more hardship.  but i can promise i’m gonna be right here to get your through it. ”

“  you make a difference in my life.  i’m not just saying that.  it wouldn’t be the same without you here and i don’t want to find out what it’d be like to not have you around. ”

“  next time it gets this bad,  you call me okay?  now you just sit there and i’m gonna make you some tea and soup and we’re gonna talk this out. ”

“   is it getting bad again?  ”

“   you are so much stronger and braver than you think.  ”

#memes.

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FLEABAG (2016-2019)

#intense mare energy <3 #the artistry in tearing the place apart (imagery).

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marian’s blood strips. IS it blood? is it lipstick? nobody in kirkwall knows and thats how she likes it

#this is a stupid post fjfkgkkgk #i agree loghain must pay for his penis crimes (crack). #mobile.

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lyrics from my ship playlists - soft edition

taken from various artists. feel free to change pronouns, etc.

‘ we can write letters to each other, invent secrets to confess to. i’ll learn foreign & exotic terms of endearment by which to address you. ’ ‘ we are strong and faithful; we are guardians of a rare thing. ’ ‘ we are filled with riches and wonders; our love keeps the things it finds. ’ ‘ you find shelter somewhere in me, and i find great comfort in you. ’ ‘ i’ve played the teacher, preacher, guru: maintaining postures to separate me and you. ’ ‘ we are one wind distracted by our different sails. ’ ‘ could i rest here for a while? ’ ‘ i can’t go face the world. my bones won’t hold me up. ’ ‘ tell the saint of lost souls where to find me: softly sleeping here in the deep end of someone who loves me. ’ ‘ i try to push it down, but it comes back faster and harder. ’ ‘ your gift to me is just to be bracing for the winds i always summon. ’ ‘ you’re my home. my heart. ’ ‘ i do the dumbest things for you. ’ ‘ you were the most exciting thing i’ve ever known. ’ ‘ we kissed without hesitation, without reservations. ’ ‘ in the crowd of the sad and the crowd of the mad, we are the only smiling faces. ’ ’ is this love? i don’t know, but tonight i’m going to find out. ’ ‘ even when you’re alright, i don’t want to let you go. ’ ‘ you have stolen my heart. ’ ‘ it’s too early to say goodnight. ’ ‘ you are the best one of the best ones. ’ ‘ i’m gonna look good for you, honey. ’ ‘ let’s get married. ’ ‘ change me at all costs, starlight and star-crossed. ’ ‘ we could be reckless. ’ ‘ my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. so won’t you kill me, so i die happy? ’ ‘ my heart is yours: to fill or burst, to break or bury, to wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer. ’ ‘ you are enough. ’ ‘ i can’t find my breath. can we just say the rest with no sound? ’ ‘ i hold you up above everyone. ’ ‘ i think you’d be good to me, and i’d be so good to you. ’ ‘ i still have your letter. i just got caught between someone i just invented, who i really am, and who i’ve become. ’ ‘ what little i have to give, i will give it all to you. ’ ‘ oh, if you knew just what a fool you have made of me. ’ ‘ this feeling calls for everything that i am not. ’ ‘ what do i do with a love that won’t sit still? ’ ‘ it’s a long way out to reach the sea, but i’m sure i’ll find you waiting there for me. ’ ‘ hold me like you’ll never let me go. ’ ‘ i could hold you close, but you are far too beautiful to love me. ’

#memes. #okay now IM going to bed

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DAUGHTER LYRIC STARTERS

‘ pick it all up and start again. ’ ‘ you’ve got a second chance. you could go home, escape it all. ’ ‘ you could still be what you want to. ’ ‘ you’ve got a warm heart, you’ve got a beautiful brain. ’ ‘ we’re setting fire to our insides for fun. ’ ‘ we are the reckless, we are the wild youth. ’ ‘ i’ve lost it all. i’m just a silhouette, a lifeless face that you’ll soon forget. ’ ‘ my eyes are damp from the words you left ringing in my head when you broke my chest. ’ ‘ you caused it. ’ ‘ i want all that is not mine. ’ ‘ i want him, but we’re not right. ’ ‘ in the darkness, i will meet my creators, and they will all agree that i’m a suffocator. ’ ‘ what a mess i leave to follow. ’ ‘ sometimes i wish i’d stayed inside my mother, never to come out. ’ ‘ take me away into the night. ’ ‘ i’ll do whatever you say to me in the dark. ’ ‘ you’re too old to be so shy. ’ ‘ i have brittle bones, it seems; i bite my tongue and torch my dreams. ’ ‘ we both know i’ll never be your lover. i only bring the heat: company under covers, filling space in your sheets. ’ ‘ this is torturous. ’ ‘ i want you so much. ’ ‘ i want you so much, but i hate your guts. ’ ‘ wipe away your tear stains. i thought you said you didn’t feel pain? ’ ‘ i don’t know what we’re doing. ’ ‘ i don’t know what we’ve done. ’ ‘ i think we should run. ’ ‘ i won’t tell my mother, it’s better she doesn’t know. ’ ‘ we’ll just keep each other as safe as we can. ’ ‘ will you stay with me for another day? ’ ‘ will you stay with me until we’re old and gray? i don’t want to be alone when these bones decay. ’ ‘ we are what we are. ’ ‘ we don’t need excuses for the scars from our mothers. ’ ‘ i pray aloud for you. ’

#memes.

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the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, sylvia plath // little father, li-young lee // dostoevsky and parricide, sigmund freud // forest, crystal vega-huerta // the pulling, sharon olds // salt water, peter campion // learning late letters, quyên nguyễn-hoàng // the woods, daughter // the cubist painters, guillaume apollinaire // deathwatch, michael ryan.

#and i wonder: what did they do with the bodies? (introspection). #dyn ; there's gonna come a day when you'll feel better (malcolm).

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@freedomscall  said: ❛  are you sure you’re okay ?  ❜

        SHE’D SAID SHE WAS FINE, during the fight, and she had been. except now that the last mugger has been dealt with, and they’re nearing the clinic, marian is beginning to realize that perhaps i’m fine was a bit of a lie.

       she blinks a few times, trying to shift her focus to anders instead of the wooziness in her head, but it doesn’t quite work.  ‘ you know ,  ’  she begins as casually as she can, leaning a little heavier on her staff,  ‘ i’m not. ’   it’s meant to be a joke, and she pairs it with a smile that would be winning if she weren’t even paler than usual.  ‘ in fact, i’m starting to think that the knife wound wasn’t as superficial as i assumed.  my bad. ’

FIVE WORD STARTERS

#freedomscall #ic. #answered. #marian literally about to pass out: oopsie doopsie :)

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once again thinking abt her (hypothetical orlesian opera singer oc)

#perhaps... someone's elven ward a la sera #perhaps... one of briala's agents... #Who Can Say! Not Me! #ooc.

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🐝  *  ―  𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄  𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.   (  all  of  these  are  just  some  random  sentences  i  thought  could  be  fun  to  use.  feel  free  to  adjust  to  better  fit  your  muses.  )

❛  alright, you’ve won. happy now ?  ❜ ❛  are you sure you’re okay ?  ❜ ❛  can you say that again ?  ❜ ❛  come on, are you serious ?  ❜ ❛  do you come here often ?  ❜ ❛  don’t do this to me.  ❜ ❛  don’t leave me alone again.  ❜ ❛  forgive me. just this once.  ❜ ❛  go and never come back.  ❜ ❛  have you lost your mind ?  ❜ ❛  i already knew about that.  ❜ ❛  i can’t trust you anymore.  ❜ ❛  i did it for you.  ❜ ❛  i have to do this.  ❜ ❛  i think i’m in love.  ❜ ❛  i will wait for you.  ❜ ❛  i won’t let you down.  ❜ ❛  i’m always here for you.  ❜ ❛  is now a bad time ?  ❜ ❛  it’s okay. i’ve got you.  ❜ ❛  just pretend to be happy.  ❜ ❛  now what do we do ?  ❜ ❛  oh, don’t pretend you care.  ❜ ❛  please believe me for once.  ❜ ❛  probably not, but who knows ?  ❜ ❛  sometimes, you can be infuriating.  ❜ ❛  stop ! we can’t do this !  ❜ ❛  tell me what’s going on.  ❜ ❛  there’s nothing left to say.  ❜ ❛  this’ll be the last time.  ❜ ❛  we can’t keep doing this.  ❜ ❛  well, are you ready then ?  ❜ ❛  what are you talking about ?  ❜ ❛  what are you waiting for ?  ❜ ❛  where should we go next ?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it ?  ❜ ❛  will you go with me ?  ❜ ❛  you are everything to me.  ❜ ❛  you can talk to me.  ❜ ❛  you deserve to be happy.  ❜ ❛  you really have no idea.  ❜ ❛  you’re hot when you’re mad.  ❜ ❛  you’re going to be okay.  ❜ ❛  you’re out of your mind !  ❜ ❛  you’re stronger than you think.  ❜

#memes.

[chaoshurtled-a]

MERLIN (2008 - 2012) Morgana Pendragon ▶ Season 1, Episode 12: “To Kill The King”

#screams. she is so pretty. #the artistry in tearing the place apart (imagery).

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marian lording her height over carver when they’re kids only to go :0 >:0 when he springs up to like 6′5″ as soon as he turns fourteen

#everybody bullies the hawke kids until all of a sudden 2/3 of them are taller than the rest of the village sdhgkjhfds #i think bethany's still pretty tall like 5'8 5'9 but like. significantly shorter than her siblings #and leandra's average height. malcolm's just Also like 6'5" #ooc.

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as always, feel free to edit/alter to better fit!

“ every piece of me is made from what you did to me. ”

“ i couldn’t stop missing you if i tried. ”

“ death seems to follow me. ”

“ i can’t let go of this. ”

“ what if we tried again? ”

“ i don’t want to know what life is like without you. ”

“ you’re an impossible person to forget. ”

“ i didn’t think i’d see you again. ”

“ i don’t think i’m built for forever. ”

“ sometimes you break in places that can’t be fixed. ”

“ stay, just for tonight. ”

“ once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. ”

“ her/his/their/your angel eyes see the good in many devils. ”

“ you can’t go back and change the beginning. ”

“ you can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ”

“ every atom of me missed him/her/them/you. ”

“ destroy what destroys you. ”

“ your eyes stole all my words away. ”

“ you are someone too. ”

“ be kind, but don’t forget that you deserve kindness too. ”

“ we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. ”

“ darling, you are not at war. ”

“ darling, you are not at war with anyone but yourself. ”

“ i want kingdoms to tremble when they hear my name. ”

“ teach me how to be a monster. ”

“ some things have to end for better things to begin. ”

“ never feel guilty for starting again. ”

“ i’ll be there when your heart is ready. ”

“ if someone makes you feel, let them. ”

“ there is true magic in you. ”

“ choose people who choose you. ”

“ soulmates aren’t just lovers. ”

“ you drew memories in my mind i could never erase. ”

“ the person you loved was an illusion. ”

“ people leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself. ”

“ your name hurts. ”

“ grieving someone who still lives might be the worst pain. ”

“ you’re just a stranger with all my secrets. ”

“ i think we were meant to be, but we did it wrong. ”

“ how could you possibly let go of someone that felt like home? ”

“ a part of me still thinks that if i can find the right words, it will save us. ”

“ whatever we are, i still remember the way we were. ”

“ as long as you still love it, it will continue to break you. ”

“ you made it look so damned easy to leave me. ”

“ i still find pieces of you in me. ”

“ perhaps not forgetting you is the only forever we will ever have. ”

“ you and i will always be unfinished business. ”

“ hell exists. it’s here, 3am, awake and without you. ”

“ i regret the end, the way we couldn’t leave one another without wounds. the way we made it seem as if all the love we shared was just wasted time. ”

“ you can forgive yourself now. ”

#memes.

[chaoshurtled-a]

i updated mare’s carrd! her game decisions are in there now <3

#still toying w the idea of love taking control during night terrors #bc its funny if for no other reason #torpor: hi mage would you like to make a deal--what the fuck #love: hi! please let the boy go! i don't want to fight you but i will!