chaoticwhoknows

[chaoticwhoknows]

i'm like a stray dog in a lot of ways but i will not elaborate on that

[chaoticwhoknows]

I don’t have time to draw it right now but while driving home from the winco I saw a happy mustached man pedaling a bike, towing a cart built to look like a chariot, inside of which stood what I can only imagine was his completely expressionless 13 year old in a makeshift corinthian helmet

#if i said this was s1 ted and roy would you all laugh at me

[chaoticwhoknows]

this post has given me an aneurysm so i'm putting it to the people think with ur heads not ur hearts

#they’re having a mid off #its not alpine bc max would commit third degree murder ❤️ #over how horrendous the car is ❤️ #only reason i say aston over ferrari is bc i feel lando is a better first driver than esteban #(especially car development wise tbh) #and if you told me i held that opinion in 2020 i would have bitch slapped you #but so it goes.

[chaoticwhoknows]

i don't really care for what people have turned the 'enemies to lovers' trope into

#YES YES YES #it’s always either ‘you have literally committed war crimes against me and my friends and i rightfully do not like you’ #which ig can be done well in a fucked up way if you examine the conflict between love and hate #but it’s always just ‘oh i’ll just ignore that u did that bc ur hot lol’ #OR it’s ‘you said you don’t like olives and i love olives so fuck u ig???’ #OR HEAVEN FORBID #‘they never really hated each other. one of them has been crushing on the other for years actually’ #ACTUALLY MAKE THEM ENEMIES #without making one a war criminal #Pls And Thanks

[chaoticwhoknows]

V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

[chaoticwhoknows]

made a uquiz

#thought you all were being dramatic #but no #that hard right is a HARD right #lemme tell you #oh it’s so fun picking quotes! and then BOOM #anyway i got nurse. so Me of me

[chaoticwhoknows]

The Two Crowns, Frank Dicksee, 1900

#THE GOLD AROUND THE THORN CROWN AND THE BLACK AROUND THE GOLD CROWN #FRANK YOURE A MADMAN

[chaoticwhoknows]

why must my fanfiction have ““internal continuity”“ and “””a logical timeline””” is it not enough for there to be words in some of sort order

#REALLLLL #no offense to That Fandom but uh #all the young dudes did sort of kickstart this. imo #or maybe i just wasn’t looking before #and to be clear this isn’t me shading that author or anything #bc there’s a whole subset of fanfic completely derived from that one fic #bc it’s a staple or whateva #and all other fic is based on that fic bc its purely a creation of fandom #and now works that ARENT fanfiction of other fanfiction are held to that same standard #also prev tags idk who ur prev tags were but. Sure. We Can Do That

[chaoticwhoknows]

something something lot’s wife looked back and was turned into a pile of salt something something orpheus looked back and lost eurydice something something why is it such a human thing to look back even when the consequences make you wish you never had something something if looking back is so inherently human why am i not allowed to do it

#does this make sense #this is mostly just ramblings #but im OBSESSED with the idea of looking back #but we don’t have time to unpack that rn now do we

[chaoticwhoknows]

guys i know we’re all very caught up on All Of The Other Things that happened in the last d20 ep but im really fixated on the fact that bastion city has airport security. why does a pentagram require an hour’s worth of security checks? what even are the security procedures? was there a bastion city 9/11? what are the cones even for? how is there business class in a pentagram? how do you get a Human Gravestone through airport security? are there scanners? do they need passports? so many questions about this airport tbh brennan lee mulligan pls explain urself

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #sam reich pls invent canon on a show you do not run #im begging you #I Need Answers

[chaoticwhoknows]

Thinking about Roy becoming sort of obsessive about Jamie not having to go through the same struggles to the same extent that he did when it comes to retirement, and so drilling into him early on that he needs to have a Plan in place for After and think about After and mentally and physically prepare for After. And also, he’s doing whatever he can to make sure Jamie doesn’t burn himself out like Roy did and takes care of his body in a healthy way and avoids playing injured…basically doing everything in his power to prevent Jamie’s retirement from being capital-B Bad™️.

And then, because there’s only so much you can control, and because no amount of preparation in the world can really prepare you for losing a thing you love, and because it was always going to be at least a little devastating for the both of them, wasn’t it? …What if, when Jamie does retire, after all that effort to avoid it, it still is capital-B Bad? Because for Jamie, Roy’s determination to make sure he’s Okay is really only another sort of Pressure making him feel like he HAS to be Okay (and even though he knows Roy doesn’t think of it like that, he can’t stop the way he feels). So he pushes aside that he’s struggling in order to pretend like the Plan and the Preparation is all working and he’s Totally Sound. Meanwhile, Jamie’s cheery insistence that All is Well is fucking disconcerting to Roy, who keeps waiting for the breakdown that feels inevitable despite himself because deep down he knows Jamie can’t be Okay so why is he acting SO Okay?

And my god would it be worse if Jamie is forced into retirement earlier than expected because of an injury (something entirely plausible yet completely out of their hands). Because then Jamie feels guilty for being injured even more so than he feels devastated about it ending his career early, as if it was his personal choice to ruin the Plan they’d spent so much time on and as if his body giving out on him despite Roy’s careful honing and perfecting of it is a Personal Jamie Shortcoming. He’s been in therapy long enough to know, realistically, that that’s his demon pigeon-brain speaking but he also can’t Stop. And for Roy of course, seeing his loved one injured like that despite spending a good decade trying to stop that from happening is devastating on many levels. Namely, that he hates nothing more than seeing Jamie in pain, but also that he hates seeing Jamie cover up his pain, and thirdly that it’s dredging up a lot of shit about his own retirement again that he was SURE he had finally fucking processed and accepted after YEARS of putting in the fucking Work.

So it’s all a bit of a mess until things finally come to a head and explode and Feelings are aired out at last and they both have a bit of a cry about it and then they are able to emerge on the other side of it, together. :)

#THIS THIS THIS #but also im thinking abt that one brett interview where he was like #before ted roy was just thinking ‘i’ll do football and then i’ll die’ #which is! Obviously Not Healthy #cannot remember the source for the life of me maybe i made this up idk #but roy being so obsessed with jamie having an idea of an After bc He Didn’t #and basically using that as a way to shake his shoulders and be like You Exist Outside Of This Sport #You Are Not Just A Football Machine #thinking thoughts

[chaoticwhoknows]

i knew from a young age i was weird and off putting and unlovable

[chaoticwhoknows]

I can't believe the Voltron crisis lasted only two years. Seven seasons in two years. Deranged. Awful time to be online. PEAK shipping discourse. And the evil is defeated.

#im not going to write an essay in these tags but holy hell this era was um #an era alright! #the way that there was so much discourse and none of it was related to whether or not the animators were okay #is a testament to just how much discourse there was to sort through #meanwhile this is a show FOR CHILDREN! #really a tutorial on “how to make discourse so wide ranging that the actors start participating in it #truly spectacular #in the same way a car wreck is spectacular #not necessary positive just A Spectacle

[chaoticwhoknows]

The height differences here… 🫣

#ollie is so young yet so tall someone get everyone else a step stool

[chaoticwhoknows]

“home is INDEED with sam and dani!!! the three of them bought a house together (+ jude and big ben of course)”

PLEASE YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME ON THIS I NEED TO KNOW MORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE MERCY

I'M SORRY I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ON THIS. I AM HERE TO PROVIDE.

the lore, as it were:

They'd decided to move in together during the longest, hottest days of the summer, when everything was honeyed light and everything seemed like a good idea. It had been Jamie's idea, chlorine-bleached as they'd floated around in Roy's pool, spoken lazily and half-formed into the muggy afternoon air. "We should get a house," was what he'd said, blunt and to-the-point, the way he was about his heart when he knew he didn't have to protect it. And then, again, as though proving the gravity of the statement, "We should get a house, eh?" "...We?" Sam had echoed. He gestured between him and Dani, and then returned his gaze to Jamie. Jamie, who had lifted his head from the water and was staring at them both with big, solemn eyes, like Jude when he was silently making his case for another treat. "As in, all of us?" "Who else'd I be talkin' to, Twenty-four?" said Jamie, teasing and soft with it. "The clouds?" "I like this idea," Dani had said, turned on his back to the sky. He was going in circles around the perimeter of the pool. "I've never liked sleeping in my house all by myself. It gets lonely." "It does," Jamie agreed. It was tender beneath its firm surface, a brimming wound that would seep if it was poked, but Sam hadn't poked it. Not then. Later, he had, and it had been worth it to excise the poison and leave the flesh clean enough to heal, but. In that moment, he hadn't. There were certain things best untouched until the sun had gone away. "So, what d'you say? In or out?" "In!" Dani had nearly shouted (Roy had come running two minutes after, certain someone had started drowning) and Sam-- Well. There, in the waning light, the world had seemed simple and uncomplicated. Here were his friends, and he loved them, and they him. They would buy a house together and it would be there that their love would live. So Sam had said, "Of course, I'm in," and he hadn't regretted it, not once.

#AND IT WOUOD BE THERE THAT THEIR LOVE WOULD LIVE #WHAT IF I STARTED WEEPING

[chaoticwhoknows]

#tevin davis #he is. So Me #in every way possible #i appreciate casting for giving me more people who are like #“yeah im here for money idk what these mfers are doing talking about ‘experiencing life’ or whatever #“if i wanted to experience life i’d go to a restaurant tf?

[chaoticwhoknows]

damn kinda not feeling it... thinking of bursting into tears