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charmhmm · 1 month

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GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AHEAD. THIS IS PURE FICTION. please see the comments for content warnings.

성화.

"silly dates.

movie nights.

morning walks, late night strolls.

that's what we always do before that night the accident happened.

and now, we're just a total stranger.

for him. for him, i was a stranger. i am nobody. someone he doesn't know.

hongjoong doesn't even know who i am.

after he lost his memories due to that accident.

it was during April 10th. our supposed to be two year anniversary. some driver... were out of control that has occurred an accident... and that involves him... that involves hongjoong." seonghwa lets out a deep sigh.

"go on, i'm listening."

seonghwa continues.

"i wonder if we just rescheduled the date just like we planned because our schedules didn't match but he went anyway, because he doesn't want to make me wait... because it was our special day." seonghwa bits his lower lip, looking down at his own fingers, fidgeting them like a child.

"now i am the only one who remembers that." he looks up at his therapist, eyes almost clouded with tears.

"go on, mr. park. let it all out."

seonghwa cried like a child, and the therapist could only listen. their session has ended earlier than expected because sadly, seonghwa isn't in a good shape.

today is a Sunday morning. august 7th. it's been almost four months since the accident had happened. yet seonghwa remained the same, still grieving for a man who's not even gone from his existence. but what pains him is the memories that has been lost from his lover's mind. and seonghwa couldn't even handle that.

now here he is. on his usual spot. or actually, let's rephrase that. on hongjoong's usual spot. seonghwa and hongjoong are currently on a park, where both of them sitting in a bench not that far from each other. hongjoong might have forgotten his memories and relationship with seonghwa, but his love for music is still there.

hongjoong can't see him. seonghwa is facing hongjoong's back, a perfect spot for seonghwa to sketch hongjoong. he has like a half of his sketchbook now, consisting some sketch of hongjoong's back while playing his guitar, in every different Sundays.

seonghwa is contented in this way.

august 14th. another Sunday. same time, yet hongjoong is not on his usual spot. seonghwa tried to look around, yet hongjoong cannot be seen. he takes a seat with a sigh, hugging his sketchbook with disappointment.

not until he heard a soft whisper on his ear.

"hey."

seonghwa was startled. that he almost threw his sketchbook on the stranger's faceㅡ oh it's not a stranger. it's Hongjoong.

it's Hongjoong.

'what do i do? do i run? do i act casual?'

he couldn't even speak, he was just there, eyes wide, staring at his old lover who doesn't even remember he exist.

"i've seen you a lot around here. you're always on my back." hongjoong spoke, now making his way beside seonghwa, holding a case which is probably his guitar case.

"and i can feel you're watching me. i wonder why?" hongjoong faces seonghwa who's now looking at him, tilting his head with a smile.

hongjoong still looks the same. no, he doesn't. his hair got longer, and the scar on his forehead is visible. yet he can't afford to stare, because the man might find him weird.

"well, i just... find you interesting." seonghwa has gotten the urge to speak, finally.

yet his mind says otherwise.

'i miss you, hongjoong.'

"i'm hongjoong. kim hongjoong. your name?"

"seonghwa... park seonghwa." seonghwa couldn't help but to smile, and grab hongjoong's hand when he offered it.

and they talked for the rest of the day.

those sundays were becoming a habit for the both of them.

now, seonghwa isn't just looking for hongjoong's back, they're now looking face to face, sharing every stories they got, as if they're getting to know each other.

but yes, that's not the case for seonghwa.

yet it's a different case for hongjoong.

September 3rd.

"i really like your humor. i should have approached you sooner." hongjoong was in tears, after laughing on Seonghwa jokes.

"you really should. you missed out some part of your life not doing it sooner." seonghwa wiped his own tears, both of them dying from laughter.

September 10th.

"seonghwa, i feel like you should know this."

"what?"

"i actually lost my memories due to an accident. and mom wouldn't let me know some of them... although i remembered this place. this park. seems like i was always here even before i lost my memories."

"probably because this is where you stay the most... they say some memories tends to stay even though you already lost some of them." if seonghwa could only tell him, that this was their usual spot whenever they go on a date.

September 17th.

"seems like we're hanging out too much, i am starting to miss you."

"oh really?" seonghwa couldn't help but to smile like an idiot.

'but i miss you all the time, hongjoong.'

December 11th.

"what are your plans for Christmas, Hongjoong?"

"i will go back to Anyang with my eomma. we're going to celebrate Christmas in our hometown... i am going to miss you, Seonghwa."

"i'm going to miss you too, hongjoong." seonghwa replied with a smile.

January 13th.

"Seonghwa! i thought you wouldn't show up." hongjoong lets out a sigh of relief when he saw seonghwa running towards him on his usual spot.

"dummy, i was waiting for you in here every sunday."

February 14th.

"seonghwa... i have something to tell you."

"what? don't tell me you like me now." seonghwa was laughing, yet he's actually nervous for what hongjoong will say.

"how did you know?" hongjoong replied.

"wait, are you serious?" seonghwa could only stare at hongjoong."

March 13th.

"so this is like a thing for us now, huh?"

"what thing?" hongjoong asks.

"us. meeting every Sunday. here in this spot."

"i guess we're used to it by now. my feet automatically walks it's way towards this place. it's inevitable." after exchanging those words, a laughter can be heard.

March 24th.

"seonghwa... can i...take you out? on a date..?"

seonghwa was flustered. because the man he's inlove with, is currently asking him out on a date. he can't help but to smile.

he's still the hongjoong that seonghwa knew. it's just that he can't remember seonghwa.

"sure... next sunday it is?"

"yes, next sunday... I'll see you by then, seonghwa."

they can't help but to exchange sweet smiles, and those glances as they part ways.

April 3rd.

it was the day for their first ever date. well, at least for hongjoong. because Seonghwa can't even count the days on his fingers.

he and hongjoong always had a time for a date. it can be an indoor date, when seonghwa is cooking their favorite pasta while hongjoong sets up the table, or those silly movie nights that always ends up with them snoring beside each other. ah, how he misses those days. and now, it's about to happen again. but in a different phase, and who knows? a different type of date.

seonghwa has been laying down on his bed with a pile of clothes beside him because he can't choose what to wear not until he hears his phone ringing.

it was hongjoong.

without hesitation, he picked it up.

"seonghwa... i think we need to reschedule. it's raining so hard. i don't want us to get into any accident or something..."

seonghwa was a little bit of disappointed, yes. but he appreciates hongjoong's notice, especially it's raining pretty hard.

"hello, joong. no, it's okay. we can go next Sunday, or at least when the weather's not being a bitch." seonghwa replied, and he can hear hongjoong laughing on the other line.

"okay, hwa. next sunday it is. i'm sorry, i hope you're not thinking that i don't want this date anymore. i just can't risk both of us, you know." hongjoong said apologetically.

"oh silly, i know that's not your intention." seonghwa laughs lightly. "i can wait. there's always a next time." seonghwa smiles, even though hongjoong couldn't even see him.

"yes, there's always a next time. see you, hwa. i miss you." hongjoong said shyly, as he was also the first one to end the line.

"cute. he's still shy like that." that's all seonghwa could say before he gathered all of his clothes back to his closet and chose a decent outfit for next sunday.

April 10th.

today is the next Sunday they had promised to see each other.

oh.

april 10th...

today is their supposed to be third anniversary.

the universe is literally playing with him, huh?

he had to make sure everything goes well today.

he wouldn't want to repeat the same mistake that has happened a year ago, right?

seonghwa fetched his phone on his pocket and dialed hongjoong's number.

after a few rings, hongjoong picked up.

"oh, hwa. are you there? i'm almost at the restaurant, please wait a little longer."

"oh no, hongjoong. i'm running a bit late. can you go there first? I'll meet you there, i promise. i just had to do something real quick."

"promise me you'll show up."

"i promise." seonghwa assures hongjoong. because there's no way he can ditch the love of his life on a special day like this.

seonghwa were pacing back and forth inside his room, overthinking if he should walk, take the bus or ride his bike.

after thinking for almost twenty minutes, he just decided to take his bike because for god's sake, he's taking too long, he doesn't want hongjoong to wait for that long.

seriously, he needs to work on his mind.

after making sure the tires aren't flat and ready to go, he immediately made his way to the restaurant. but still, he was cautious with his surroundings. what if he suddenly hit a cat? that's bad luck.

a few more kicks on the pedals, he's almost there. the restaurant was on the other side of the highway and he can actually see hongjoong pacing outside the restaurant, and he couldn't help but to smile.

poor boy. he thought i wouldn't show up.

the light's still green.

seonghwa waved to get hongjoong's attention, and he didn't fail. he can see hongjoong on the other side of the road, smiling brightly at him.

all of his worries were gone when he saw hongjoong. after the light turned yellow, seonghwa takes a strong grip on his bike, ready to cross the road. yet instead of riding his bike, he went down, and walked beside it. he was too focused on hongjoong that he didn't even notice the car that's going on full speed even though the light's red.

before seonghwa could stop, it was too late.

beep... beep..... beep.....

홍중.

i feel lifeless.

with all these white walls surrounding over me, it makes me weak. how long i have been in here?

hongjoong opened his eyes, yet he can't move. his body felt so numb. he can only move his eyes, and there he saw a woman, crying helplessly.

he could only blink his eyes in response.

"why am i in here?" he starts talking through his mind, the woman can't hear him.

he can see the woman running towards the door, shouting to call someone or anyone to check on him.

ah, i must be in a hospital. but what the fuck just happened?

hongjoong got the strength to remove the intubation, and started speaking.

"who are you?"

that's the only thing he said, yet the woman starts to break down once again.

and that very day that he woke up, he heard that he's currently experiencing a retrograde amnesia, which he can't remember some things in the past. and he has come to know that this woman with him is his mother; who took care of him.

he was asleep. for two weeks.

his mother had told him he got into an accident going somewhere. that he shouldn't remember it ever again, because it's a bad memory.

hongjoong was fine to go. the doctor said that the amnesia will be temporary if his mother would help him remember things.

but that's not the case for hongjoong's mother.

mrs. kim always hated seonghwa for hongjoong. she couldn't accept the fact that hongjoong is gay, and is happily in love with seonghwa.

she couldn't embrace the fact that his son is in love with a man.

as soon as the arrived back in their home, the first thing she did was to take all those photos from hongjoong's room, the ones with seonghwa, so his son wouldn't remember the man anymore.

or that's what he thought.

hongjoong still remembers the fragments of seonghwa in his mind; even though his face was quite blurry.

he was still out of it. all of the betrayal he's experiencing from his mother just because she couldn't accept what his son wants; seonghwa.

now he had found himself every Sunday on this park that they usually go to. and surprisingly, Seonghwa was always there.

on his back. watching him.

he tried to fight himself not to see Seonghwa again, because this is for the better. but oh, who is he to dictate his own heart? it is screaming for seonghwa.

seonghwa. seonghwa. seonghwa.

that he couldn't even help himself anymore and started approaching the older, embodying his amnesia to the fullest.

yet it is true; he can't remember the past he had with seonghwa nor the other events, but one thing's for sure.

this man right there was his other half and still is his other half, memories of them from the past might be gone but his love, his name will never be forgotten.

it went on by months.

every sunday. having their little hang outs.

that especially helped hongjoong to remember, seonghwa's presence makes him remember. that all of those blurry memories became clear; that he can finally remember it all. he's planning to tell this all to seonghwa. on their third anniversary.

and that day has come.

April 10th.

hongjoong was too cautious to go that he had to walk towards the meeting place just to save himself from future harm.

he can't deny that the phone call had just happened made his heart nervous, but he knows seonghwa wouldn't ditch him.

i just hope he won't hate me for keeping this to him for that long.

seonghwa was taking too long that he got out of the restaurant, started pacing back and forth, rethinking his life decisions because what if seonghwa had run away? what if seonghwa doesn't want him anymore?

not until he saw a man waving across the road, and there he is.

his other half, seonghwa.

for heaven's sake he doesn't know why this light's taking too long to turn red, he can't wait for his lover to cross the road and to be finally with him once again.

red light.

he can see seonghwa gripping tightly on his bike, crossing the road with such a big smile.

not until he can see this car going through seonghwa's direction.

everything happened so fast.

now he can see seonghwa, lying on the ground, looking lifeless. blood all over his head.

seems like his world had stopped.

his feet automatically dragged him where seonghwa is, as he scooped his lover up, crying helplessly while screaming for help.

"seonghwa.... hwa, oh hwa. please. wake up... don't leave me yet..."

ㅡ

they're back at it again.

white walls. the small beeps from the monitor. yet it's not hongjoong who's lying, now it's seonghwa.

with a bandage on his head, an intubation on his mouth.

they've been here for almost three weeks. and god knows how hongjoong has been calling him, begging him for seonghwa's consciousness to be back.

hongjoong has been holding seonghwa's hand, never left his side.

it was Sunday.

May 1st.

hongjoong felt a small movement from seonghwa's hands. he thought he was just hallucinating. yet he can feel seonghwa's grip tightening, that hongjoong immediately pressed the buttons from the nurse's office so they can send a doctor on seonghwa's room.

seonghwa's eyes flattered open, and hongjoong felt like a rock has been lifted on his back.

hongjoong was asked to wait outside, which he thinks is unfair but seonghwa would be fine, he assures himself.

the doctors did some checking on seonghwa, that they can finally declare to him that seonghwa is finally conscious. yet there's still a problem.

"you see, mr. kim... mr. park hit his head pretty strong. we saved him from having any brain malfunctions yet this case is inevitable. he's currently suffering from a retrograde memory loss... means he can'tㅡ"

"he can't remember some of his past, i know..." hongjoong didn't even let the doctor finish. he felt numb. he felt his palms getting cold.

after the talk with the doctor, they had finally let him in.

and he can see seonghwa, sitting there, his color finally going back, yet looking so confused.

hongjoong takes a seat beside him, intertwining their hands together.

"hey, seonghwa."

"i'm seonghwa... who are you?"

hongjoong couldn't help but to smile.

"i'm hongjoong.. kim hongjoong. and i'm your boyfriend." hongjoong told seonghwa with a hesitant voice, but he still went for it anyway.

"but.. i don't.... i don't remember you." hongjoong could feel the guiltyness on seonghwa's voice, but he's determined to have seonghwa back on his life.

"don't worry, I'll make you remember." that was hongjoong's words as he kissed seonghwa on the back of his palm.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #seongjoong #seonghwa #hongjoong #ateez matz #matz

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