cl-oelia

[cl-oelia]

[cl-oelia]

@belloochie

[cl-oelia]

yeah I started the full-time position just under 2 weeks ago and it is A Lot™️

#it’s just....balancing 80000 moving parts whiel ALSO training the new intern taking my place #in the middle of a crisis she (or any intern) obviously would have no intricate knowledge or training in helping people with #and my coworker who used to be my boss for the last year and a half is trying to be helpful but hovering in ways he never did before #like he doesnt trust me to get everything done and also 2 weeks’ worth of tech issues has made things 10x harder #it’s fine i like it!! i usually an very overwhelmed but always leave in a pretty good mood idk #just very tired all the time and i have two classes starting in september #p

[cl-oelia]

lmao so like I knew this was coming but we’re expecting our salaries to get slashed next year by about 30%. I start full-time next week (well, I’ve been full time all spring and summer but now will get paid for full-time). Just did the math and I’d be making almost $8 less per hour than I do right now skdbdkdkdj

#its fine like it’s a salary and i get paid for the full 40 so it’s still almost twice as much overall per paycheck #just funny #p

[cl-oelia]

[cl-oelia]

the amount of fucking disrespect fat people endure on a daily basis just for existing and then have to bite their tongues because nobody would care about the ugly one makes me fucking livid and I wanna gut every single person who’s ever stared and made unnecessary humiliating comments or back-handed compliments and just made me feel subhuman and saw me as someone with low confidence to manipulate or used my body to make themselves feel better and then conditioned me into staying quiet and taking it or laughing about it and using food to cope with it in private just perpetuating that fucking cycle I’m gonna lose my FUCKING mind

#i woke up angry today #p #I AM SO SICK OF HAVING TO BE PERFECT IN EVERY OTHER WAY JUST SO PEOPLE MIGHT OVERLOOK MY WEIGHT FOR A SINGLE MOMENT

[cl-oelia]

everyone is just especially horrible today

#im trying!! not to take it personally bc like people are desperate #but like we’re almost as helpless as they are and im so sick of being screamed at and called useless and lazy #and im the only one who has been managing the phones for the last 5 months and everyone else gets to just talk to people thru email #where people are still bitchy yes but at least you can sleep most nights #and you dont have these people calling you 20 times at 3:30am because ‘you shouldnt get to sleep until this is resolved’ #like I AM NOT GOD #I CANNOT TELL THE GOVERNOR OR UNEMPLOYMENT LEADERSHIP TO LOOK AT YOUR CASE SPECIFICALLY #EVEN WHEN WE GO AGAINST PROTOCOL TO DO THAT THEY JUST IGNORE US LIKE!!! #THIS IS WHAT HAPOENS WHEN YOU ELECT YOUR BELOVED TRUMP SUPPORTING REPUBLICANS #THEY DEFUND THE UIA FOR DECADES #THEN ACT SURPRISED WHEN THE AGENCY CANNOT HANDLE AN ECONOMIC CRISIS #p

[cl-oelia]

holy

[cl-oelia]

i pray that aug, sep, oct, nov and dec are all months full of growth, blessings, productivity, new doors open and opportunities

[cl-oelia]

It’s been a minute since I’ve been on this account. But I guess here is where I should be ranting about how into this girl I am and it makes me very scared and giddy at the same time. Every cringey or gross or embarrassing thing she tells me about herself literally only makes me like her more.

#this one’s gonna sting when it ends lmao #p

[cl-oelia]

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#they turned me into a habitual liar. #pathological #i was taught that from 4 years old. #my entire life is a series of lies all woven together #p #depending on the people who hear different versions of my lies could interpret ‘they’ to mean entirely different people

[cl-oelia]

[cl-oelia]

I’ve been trying this out and it’s been quite helpful 🤗

[cl-oelia]

The number of messages I’ve failed to answer across all my devices and media platforms will be weighed against my soul on judgment day, and I will be cast into hell

[cl-oelia]

I am having...a major body crisis

It started a few weeks ago but it’s only gotten worse

I just had the dumbest, most shallow and stupid trigger and now I don’t wanna eat for a month

Do I get h*gh and numb out or sit with the feelings and process them?? Difficult choice, hard to say what’s best :)

#ed tw #bed tw #restricting tw #eating disorder tw #body mention #ed #p

[cl-oelia]

androgyny, gender nonconformity, and general gender fuckery are good things.

[cl-oelia]

lol I’m probably about to be burnt at the stake in a facebook group for my ever unpopular opinion that bi women calling their attraction to women gay isn’t a big deal

#PERIOD