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i gotta romanticize this silly little life so i don’t romanticize killing my silly little self

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Sometimes fiction doesn’t have a moral to the story. Sometimes fiction points at something and goes “Ever thought about THAT???” And you look at what it’s pointing at for a bit.

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me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

#felt

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i think it is healthy for me to be a judgmental bitch and cunt etc

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OHHHHH THIS IS IT FOR ME

#Oak the man that you are #me and who WHEN #the prisoners throne #holly black

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Kel in Sword Catcher has chemistry with literally everyone and ik Cassie said it’s possible that ships will change over the course of 4 books and I kinda hope so because it’s just more fun and interesting to not have the two main ships from the first book be endgame

#sword catcher #cassandra clare #kel anjuman #not enough ppl are talking about sword catcher for my taste #kel/ana and conor/lin are interesting enough ig but i’d be fine with them not being endgame give me something juicier

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man I miss being 14 when I was willing and able to write whatever stupid indulgent bullshit I wanted and feel like I was absolutely killing it

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i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

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"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

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The reoccurring theme of being unwanted in your childhood and seeing yourself as some kind of monster and how you feel like you have to move mountains to get people to like you

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So Oliver Hong huh

"I will love you if I please. I will make you my altar, I’ll put you above everything else in this world, I’ll revel in every morsel you are made of. It’s simple—just tell me you don’t feel the same, and I’ll let you go. But I won’t accept anything else. I won’t accept your refusal on the make-believe grounds of our work."

OH MY GOD HE'S GOT ME SWOONING. AGAIN. He's so self aware AND YET

I love him I want to throttle him

#ME AND WHO WHENNN #Im in tears #i love him

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The Hong brothers with their Lang sister lovers make me so feral I rarely actually squeal and kick my feet but they got me doin it these boys are in LOVE and they will say it!!

#foul heart huntsman #oliver hong #orion hong #rosaling lang #celia lang

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“stop romanticizing (bad thing)” sorry that i have a poets soul and can see the hidden beauty in the grotesque

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It’s that happy-sad feeling, that intense homesick ache…. The feeling of being grateful to have something worth missing

-Happy Place by Emily Henry

#im really reading happy place at the most relatable time in my life im in tear

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Ngl happy place hit too close to home for me so it was hard to read it sometimes but honestly it’s so good

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Now that Buddy Daddies is finished, I’m gonna say it: SPOILERS!

Buddy Daddies really is for the aces, aros, queerplatonic partners, and platonic life partners out there. 

I know, 100%  that there are going to be some people out there that are going to say, “See! It really was just queerbait all along” or some who are going to bemoan the fact that there were no declarations of romantic love or kiss or whatever. I’m sure this part right here:

Miri: “Didn’t you slip out yesterday to go drinking with a girl again?” 

Caused some frowns and I do get it. Because of this, the queerbait and Kazuki and Rei are just friends dialogue will continue and follow the series around. But, this episode has made it clear that Kazuki and Rei love not only Miri, but each other as well.

They are a work partners (相棒 - aibou)

They are partners raising a child together. (相方 - aikata).

They’ve moved (I’m pretty sure their diner is in Okinawa for reasons I’ll get to in another post), they’ve opened a business together, one which has a part of Kazuki’s last name in it (来栖 - Kurusu is his last name, the 栖 (su) part of his name means “nest.”), and Rei’s words to his father: Miri, Kazuki, and I share a bond stronger than blood. 

They are a family. They love each other.

Of course, friends can be a part of a family. Friends can love each other, but there are also reasons why people who are in situations like co-parenting, queerplatonic relationships, platonic life partnerships, and etc. don’t refer to their bonds as friendships and the people they are co-parenting or in a partnership with as their friends, but as words that give some space for those grey areas in-between.

Friendships are strong, deep, and beautiful. Platonic love is love and is powerful.

But, there are definitely still different sets of expectations and boundaries that come with friendships vs. other relationship dynamics. 

Kazuki and Rei’s situation falls outside of the usual friendship expectations and boundaries and sits somewhere between that, family and partnership.

I know this topic has been talked to death about. But, I felt like I needed to write about and address it one final time since Buddy Daddies has come to an end (though, who knows about a potential Daughter Daddies!) Especially after Miri’s line to Kazuki. (I feel I could also go into open relationship dynamics, polyamorous relationships, and etc. but that feels like it would be derailing). 

Basically, I just wanted to get one final post out on this. I was very pleased with this ending episode. It made my heart so happy and warm, and I know I’ve said it before, but this series really speaks to me as someone who is aroace. Aroace characters and our relationship dynamics have basically no rep, so even if this series wasn’t intended to be written with a queerplatonic relationship dynamic in mind, they ended up writing a beautiful depiction of one that makes me and what I would want from a relationship of some kind, finally feel seen.

#as an aroace #i def do think they threw in the girl line to show the relationship wasnt romantic #which is sad to me but also yes this is 100% queerplatonic rep then