counter-facts-i-just-made-up

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

What's an efficient way to crack a safe? Not necessarily the most, just efficient in general.

You can open any safe by freezing it in liquid nitrogen, then dropping it from a height of 2 miles onto a solid diamond pyramid. Be warned that this act is illegal everywhere but Ontario, the place on Earth with the least amount of diamond pyramids.

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Who am I

An anonymous user asking who they are is some deep metaphorical stuff.

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Eh, is just a big fella

Who am I

An anonymous user asking who they are is some deep metaphorical stuff.

#fella is gender neutral

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

A less illegal way is using a rocket propelled blade, like they did on Mythbusters that one time.

What's an efficient way to crack a safe? Not necessarily the most, just efficient in general.

You can open any safe by freezing it in liquid nitrogen, then dropping it from a height of 2 miles onto a solid diamond pyramid. Be warned that this act is illegal everywhere but Ontario, the place on Earth with the least amount of diamond pyramids.

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

Don't kinkshame the horses, God knows they deal with enough of that already...

Got any fun facts about the domestication of horses?

They're not even domesticated they just like when people sit on their back and smack them. Pervy-ass ungulates...

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I will die yesterday. The glories of the queue!

When will you die?

October 19th, 2073

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counters have at least one number (usually)

for more information, check out our resident expert @counter-counter-facts-i-just-mad

do you have any facts about counters?

No but I think I know who might-

@counter-facts-i-just-made-up

#ah fuck uh what do i say

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

It was the other way around, but pranksters moved it in the middle of the night and unintentionally aided Marty

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

The whale that attacked the boat was the same one that wrote the book, so I don't think Moby Dick was inspiring as much as it was a threat

Moby Dick was based on true events. None involving a whale, ship or obsessed captain, but true events nonetheless.

#unreality

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

APAT (assigned paprika at tumblr)

could I get a fact about trans people pretty please?

There was a story that when discussing voting rights for women, a French parliament member stated that men and women were basically the same, save for one small difference. Someone then shouted, "Vive la différence!" Back then they were mostly only thinking of two binary genders and didn't yet know the extent to which they'd become variable and mutable across an entire spectrum with infinite diversity and individuality to celebrate.

If variety is the spice of life, then trans people are truly the Paprika. I could say that makes terfs the Asafoetida, but even "Devil's Shit" spice deserves better than that comparison.

#trans rights #i am a paprika now

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

You love crabs because they are the pinnacle of evolution, the future of all species, the end goal of every living thing on this planet. We crave perfection, and crabs are perfect.

why do i enjoy crabs so much?

They remind you of your time in the crustacean realm, long before you were a blog. It was the last place you felt made real sense. Though you have forgotten the feel of the cluster, the taste of the sea, a part of you longs for the feel of a shell and sand under your chelae. You spend your life now posting images, flat glowing pixel representations of the majesty you once were.

#actually they aren't perfect #they aren't immortal #unlike lobsters or huMANS IF IT WASN'T FOR RONALD RE- *gunshot* #unreality #except for the previous tags

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

This does not get at the heart of the question! Sausage is made when a mommy hog carcass and a daddy meat grinder love each other very very much...

How is the sausage made?

Mark Twain supposedly once said, "People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made."

I personally found this to be untrue. I do love sausage, and find that their manufacture is a testament to the history of humankind's complex, violent, and delicious relationship to the world's other inhabitants. Though horrifying, it is the meat that feeds us. Though impressive to behold the efficiency of the techniques, it is the capitalist machine that grinds us away too. Yet it keeps us alive. The world is not all flowers and sunsets, no- The beauty of the beast too is the beauty of this place, of us ourselves, and we must not shy away from it when we consider where and what we are.

So Twain is wrong about people who love sausage. For people who respect the law I have no clue. I have no respect for authority or propriety and follow only Khornurgslantch, God of Chaos.

#unreality

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i should've done that

Several live aquarium YouTube channels had to break off their sponsorship deals when BetterKelp admitted to selling their pets’ data. It was all a phishing scam.

#my clone(?) continues outperforming me

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

Welcome to Similar Blog Showdown!!

With so many different blogs out there, it's inevitable that 2(or more) will have similar/the same gimmicks. But, who does it better?

That's what we're here to find out! I'll be posting a poll once a week comparing 2 similar blogs. If there are more than 2, I'll probably hold a mini tournament.

Not sure when I'll be starting this, but I've had this idea for a while now.

In the meantime, please send in blogs I missed and you'd like to see as well as propaganda for your favorite gimmick listed. I want to do as many as I can and I'm sure there's more I haven't come across.

Planned polls (in no specific order):

@how-many-letters vs. @alphabetcompletionist

@colortracker vs. @rainbow--completionist vs. @hemo-rainbow-completionist vs. @rgbcolorcounter

@counter-of-vowels vs. @voweltally

@carbon-monoxide-detector vs. @carbonmonoxide-detector

@oedcompletionist vs. @i-count-words-in-posts

@biblepercent vs. @bible-word-counter vs. @were-these-words-in-the-bible

@the-disemvoweler vs. @the-other-disemvoweler

@the-disemconsonanter vs. @the-cosonant-killer

@asciicompletionist vs. @keyboard-completionist

@advancement-made vs. @achivement-unlocked vs. @pointless-achievements

@isthisagun vs. @identifying-guns-in-posts vs. @i-identify-guns-in-posts

@theshitpostcalligrapher vs. @theworseshitpostcalligrapher

@hashbang-mods vs. @exclamodder

@bitchlessslenderman vs. @bitchless-slenderman

@gimmickbloghunterhunter vs. @gimmickbloghunter-hunter

@facts-i-just-made-up vs. @counter-facts-i-just-made-up

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

I’m not great with my social skills, but isn’t it generally considered bad etiquette to not inform the public when one has an evil twin/clone?

I watched David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers before my kidney stone surgery. I'm a complete fucking idiot like that.

#prev you think this is a canon? #all of our blogs are centered around lieing!

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You bloody genius! Why didn't I think of this!

The most evil system, democracy, will gravitate towards the most evil army!

how do I build a huge army made up only of musketeers that will follow my commands exactly? I am in a position where I need an answer now.

Well, if you're playing Age of Empires there's one way, and if you're the King of France there's another. Oddly, both involve a whole lot of money. I suppose that's true of a lot of things these days.

[counter-facts-i-just-made-up]

How to get a PhD?

In five easy steps, you can earn a real PhD! Here's how:

Choose a subject in which you can get a PhD, such as Caviar Debrining, Musical Glassware Demolition, or Cunnilingus.

Enroll in a graduate school that offers a PhD course in your topic, such as CU Boulder, the Academy of Raya Lucaria, or the Royal Institute for the Study and Performance of Cunnilingus.

Achieve 80-140 hours of class credits in relevant coursework, such as Advanced Bullshitting, Making Up MLA Format Citations That Sound Real, and Warping Irrelevant Quotations So They Will Appear To Fit Your Points (Cunning Linguistics).

Compose a dissertation in the medium demanded by your field, such as an Essay, Scientific Treatise, or Oral Presentation.

Defend your dissertation. This is nothing to be afraid of and is merely titled a "defense" in an antiquated sense of the word. You can defend your dissertation in many academic ways, such as a sword duel, outlasting a professor in the pain induction box, or of course, besting them in Competitive Cunnilingus. This last one is naturally the most reliable way to graduate Cum Laude.