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crazycat-88 · 4 months
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Predator OC Commission for @PaytahSnek14584 on Twitter.
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crazycat-88 · 4 months
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crazycat-88 · 5 months
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Romarod the Orc
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Your patience has been rewarded, and a new orc has joined the collection. A new town in Ruby Empire, some world building, some deep history between the leads. I'm sure this story is sure to have all that you've been craving. Oh yeah, and there's a glory hole. Female Reader x Male Monster
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Elderbay was once a town just outside of Obresh, but now it is a part of it. The town had been taken over after the port had failed and the town had fallen to mostly ruin. It was easy for the leaders of Obresh to take over, since there wasn’t really anybody putting up a fight over it. They came in and cleaned up the place, but Elderbay had always been known for its sleaze and probably always would be. Now known as Obreshbay (or Obree Bay due to dialect) it served as a main spot for fishing. While Obresh had turned to a port for dignitaries, royalty, travel, and export, Obreshbay was becoming known now for fishermen, markets, and yes of course, still the sleaze.
Ever since I was thirteen I had lived in Elderbay. I was left here by my father and I do not know if he simply left me or he died. It’s not exactly a mystery I’m killing myself to figure out.
I found work in the Elderbay Village Pub, now known as the Obree Bay Village Pub. Not much has changed besides the owners. There have been repairs made to the place and it’s become attached to the inn next door, where I was moved to work. But really it’s the same as it ever was.
New people had been moving in due to the allure of the fishing industry and the growing market. But the people were the same. The pub still had a reputation and a service many traveled miles to visit.
“For a crappy pub you really do make some of the best food this side of Obresh.” My new boss was a chatty lady who favored the drink a bit too much, which was fine as it usually kept her out of my hair.
“Even the riff raff deserves a good meal,” I tutted at her.
“You’ve been doing this since you were thirteen?” She slurred a bit, hinting towards the wine on her breath.
I stood my full height, towering over her quite a bit. Then again, I towered over most of my peers. “I’ve been washing dishes since I was thirteen, Mrs. Billdrake.” I fill her a glass of water and hand it to her. “I’ve been cooking since I was sixteen.”
“Still!” She scoffed. “I never got my first job until I got married to Mr. Billdrake.”
Shame, I thought, but I kept my tongue to myself.
“Do you need help taking the food over to the pub?” She asked, already standing up to leave without helping. Not that I would let her help. I worked my ass off on these meat pies and sandwiches. I wasn’t going to let her carry anything anywhere.
“I’ve got it, ma’am,” I said curtly. “Go on and get.” She was out the door in that moment and I clicked my tongue. “People with money. I’ll never understand them,” I grumbled under my breath. I picked up the heavy trays with ease, walking through the back of the kitchen and into the pub.
There was a thunderous cheer as I came walking through and set the trays down behind the bar.
“Been waiting on you, Caddie,” Golman, the goblin barkeep said.
“Yeah well, worth it, aren’t they?” I sneered as I set the food on shelves so they could be easily reached.
There was an excited hum as patrons began ordering my wares. I barely had the last meat pie on the shelf before half were gone to hungry customers. Men who smelled like the sea, crusted in salt and brine, their hands worn red by the nets and ropes and brutal winds.
“I take it you forgot what I asked for.”
I frowned and looked over my shoulder at the orc standing at the bar. “Romarod, what the hell are you doing here?” I snapped my hands to my waist, giving him a glare down.
The rougeish orc had chapped cheeks today and his hair was tied back rather than its usual long, messy locks. “Trying to find some respite you cheeky brat,” he laughed.
“You’re the brat,” I scoffed. “Young fellow like you ought to know how to talk to his elders.”
His gray eyes looked me up and down and his tongue glided over his gold capped tusk. “But do you have what I asked for?”
I slapped the meat pie down upon the counter for him. “Like your ma used to make?”
His eyes lit up and there was a boyish charm that overtook his usually cocky expression. “You actually made it!”
“I’ve been making these things for two weeks waiting on your sorry ass to get in here.” I smirked a bit with pride as I watched him sit down to cut into the pie. The filling was creamy and overstuffed with grilled chicken and fresh veggies. Despite my hesitance to make it for the hearty stock of the pub, it had turned out to be a popular item.
Romarod ate it with a gleeful excitement, taking a few massive bites before smiling my way. “I’ll never get cooking this good again.”
“Not likely.,” I sniffed. “No one knows how to cook meat like me around here.”
Golman gave me the eye and sneered. “Most men do.”
“Hush up and try doing what I do,” I sniped at him. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to lay down a moment before I have to do this all over again.” I watched happy Romarod eating his favorite meal a second before I walked away.
But I had no intention of lying down. I had something else I liked to do, the very thing that the Elderbay village Pub had gotten famous for back in the day.
There was a room to the back with a special lock that if you put a coin in it unlocked for you. It gave the pub some extra coin, and when the Billdrakes saw how much it brought in they kept it the dirty little secret that it was.
The room was mostly dark and filled with little booths. I came here to destress, relax, and participate in an act I felt a bit embarrassed that I enjoyed.
I entered one of the little booths and sat down in the comfortable chair there. I leaned back then turned to gaze at the dark hole in the wall. Any minute now someone would come in and place their cock through that hole. Then, I would have my fun.
I heard some noise across the way from me, some moaning and soft smacking. I grew wet at that sound, that pleasured moan. They were trying to be quiet, but sometimes pleasure is hard to contain. As the warmth between my thighs began to turn into an ache someone knocked on the wall beside me. I turned expectantly and saw a cock slide through the hole. It was pale green along the shaft, almost gray, and the head was a glossy moss green.
I knelt down before the hole, having to dip my head down quite a bit. I took hold of the cock in my hand and felt it pulsing.
“It’s big, even though it’s soft.” I thought to myself. I licked my palm and began stroking the green monster. It grew harder with each pump, thickening in my hand until it was satisfying to hold. It was quite large and curved, building out at the bottom and had a nice coiling vein all the way down.
“Oh man,” I whispered. I licked my lips as I tried to make a plan on how to take this thing. I had seen many, many cocks in my years visiting the gloryholes. Small ones, medium ones, big ones, funny shaped ones, double ones, even a few tentacle-like ones. I loved cocks, I loved using the gloryhole. I never shied away.
I leaned in, licking the tip of this huge cock. I took it into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and then popped it back out. I stroked then lapped down the side, going down, going up, going down going-
The cock surged and there was a whimpering behind the wall.
Were they gonna cum already?
I reached down between my legs, feeling how wet I had gotten. I got on my hands and knees, pulled up my skirts, and backed myself up against the green monster. Usually, I got off enough by oral alone, but tonight I wanted to try this one.
I eased by, rubbing myself against it. It was pulsing and hard and the moans behind the wall were growing louder. I reached back, guiding the cock inside me. It was big, but I could take it.
Suddenly it pulled away. I turned around to look, but the dick was gone. I heard the person it belonged to running out the door and away from the back room.
“What on earth?” I muttered to myself. I stepped out to see if anyone was still there, but the only ones there were the ones who had been fucking when I arrived. I let out a heavy huff and smoothed down my skirts
“Whatever,” I grumbled. “Their loss.”
I left the backroom frustrated and confused, heading back towards my kitchen to finish the second half of my evening.
As I was rolling out dough for the pies, Romarod came into the kitchen.
“What the hell brings you back here?” I scoffed at him.
He looked around my kitchen with a curious glint in his eye. “I haven’t been to the inn part of this place yet. Wanted to see what the fuss was about.” He picked up my rolling pin but I snatched it away from him.
“Aren’t you a bit too old for snooping?” I scoffed.
Romarod smirked and continued to watch me work. “Do you like it?”
I shrugged. “Work is work. At least I wasn’t kicked out when the Billdrakes bought the place.” I took my knife and cut into the dough.
“Didn’t you get a new room too?” He asked, sounding like he was dragging this interaction out.
I glanced up at him, which I didn’t have to do towards many people. But Romarod was big, even if he was younger. He was tall, thick, and built like a wall and an orc mated.
I clicked my tongue and took my threatening stance. He may have been bigger than me, but I could still use my own assets to be intimidating. “Why should I tell you?”
His gray eyes widened slightly and his jaw tensed. “Just curious. I know the rooms above the pub were never great. Must be nice to have a new one.”
I smirked at him and continued my work. “It is. Can’t say I miss the old one too much. In fact, I don’t miss it at all.”
“That’s good,” he sounded a bit breathless.
“What?” I huffed at him. “Out with it! Stop stalling and tell me what you’re really here for.”
Romarod frowned and looked away. “I’m not here for nothing.”
“Liar,” I snapped.
“Caddie-” he started but I cut him off by snapping my fingers.
“I’m a busy lady here Romarod, tell me what you want or I can’t-”
Romarod cut me off by slamming his palms down upon the table. “How much for a fuck?”
I stared at him, a bit shocked but also impressed. “Why not just go to the gloryholes? It’ll be much cheaper and way easier than this.” I ran my hand down my chest.
He continued frowning. “Just tell me how much?”
I sighed and dusted my hands off on my apron before taking it off. “What exactly do you want to do? I don’t kiss, and if you piss me off it costs extra.”
“I don’t mind that,” he grumbled. “I just need to…” His face contorted and I could see he was desperate.
I nodded towards the back. “Fifty,” I said.
“Fifty-” He stopped himself and huffed. “Fine.”
I held out my hand and waited while he searched through his purse. He put the money in my hand and I tucked it away into the hidden pocket of my skirt.
“Let's get this over with,” I sighed.
He followed me into the dark back room used for storage. I hadn’t done this sort of thing in a while, not since I was in my young twenties. But every now and again I needed money, and this was the easiest and fastest way to get it. I didn’t need it now, but Romarod wasn’t offensive, he was generally good looking, and I was still unsatisfied from the glory hole.
It was cold in the back room, and the light from the street came in through the cracks of the door. I pulled up my skirts and leaned forward, holding onto a shelf.
“You know how this works right?”
“Yes! Of course I do,” he snarled. I felt his big, rough hands upon my hips and that ache that never got satisfied sparked back to life. I bit my lip, arching my back slightly to press myself closer to him.
“You're wet,” he breathed.
“Yeah, and?” I huffed. “Stop wasting my time and just-” I sucked in a breath when I felt his cock press against me. “Just fuck me!” I gasped.
He slipped inside, moaning loudly. “Gods you’re so fucking wet, Caddie.”
“Talking is extra,” I panted. I don’t know why I was so surprised by how big he was. The boy was a mountain of a man. But this cock of his! My gods it was perfect.
He held onto my hips, thrusting himself into me slowly  at first. His movements were jerky and odd at first, but he slowly melted into a rhythm that felt practiced.
“Caddie,” he moaned. “Caddie!”
“Extra-” I whimpered out. Despite my best efforts to sound nonplussed, he was genuinely close to making me cum. I reached down between my legs, rubbing my clit to bring me closer to that precipice. Although it was tempting to make this last longer, Romarod felt amazingly good inside. I could also offer him a deal for a second round later.
“I’m gonna cum!” He whined.
“Where do you want to?” I panted.
He slowed, trying to extend his release. “Where can I?”
I was growing close as well, my fingers were stoking the fire that was beginning to blaze. “Anywhere you’d like. Inside is extra.”
Romarod was silent, struggling with his decision. He began thrusting inside me hard again, harder and harder each time. I lost balance and needed both hands to hold onto the shelf. Inside it was, I suppose. My eyes were rolling back, my body was falling into the fire it created. Gods it was amazing! Romarod’s cock was crafted by the goddesses.
He released inside me, standing still while both of us calmed from our overboiling. His legs shook, my breath rattled. As he pulled away I could feel him dripping down my thigh. It was wonderful!
“H-how much?” His mouth sounded dry.
I stood back up purposefully and smoothed back my hair. “Twenty.”
“Done!” He laughed and placed the coin in my hand. “I’ve never done that before,” he said as we walked back into my kitchen.
I took a rag from under the counter to wipe myself down. “Really? No one has ever let you cum inside them?”
“No. I mean, fucked a woman.”
I stood still, staring at him in disbelief.
“I’ve done other things. Just never…” He was growing uncomfortable. “In…in a vagina…” His words trailed off.
“Romarod,” I said sternly. “I was your first?”
“I’m at sea a lot!” he snapped. “I fool around with the guys but it’s not like the sea is brimming with women.”
I looked him up and down. “Next time I’ll only charge you forty. But only because I feel bad I overcharged you this time.”
His mouth opened wide but before he could speak I pointed a finger at him.
“And visit the gloryholes every once in a while. Must be hell to rely on other fishermen to get off.” I pointed to his hands. “Rough hands like that grabbing at your cock. No wonder you came so fast.”
He nodded. “You felt so nice. I can’t believe how wet you were.”
I snapped my fingers at him. “Calm down. I have to get back to work. Remember, next time it’ll be forty!”
He nodded. “Thank you, Caddie!” He left the kitchen and I let my wall fall down. I leaned over the counter, my core still trembling and glowing from orgasm. I would fuck Romarod for free, but I couldn’t let him know that. A semi-virgin. What the hell?
The following day I was tasked by Mrs. Billdrake to do the shopping for the inn. It’s not usually my task, but she expounded upon the fact I had a better eye than she did. Truly, I think she was hungover and didn’t want to leave the house.
“I hear they’re going to bring over that Obresh tradition.” I heard a couple of women gossiping as I went into town.
“Which one?”
“Oh you know. The one where orcs take human women,” the first woman scoffed.
The second woman rolled her eyes. “They bought this town, the least they can do is let us live without their weird habits infecting us.”
The conversation was giving me agita. The orcs from Obresh kept this town from decaying into itself. They could throw parades every day for all I cared. Obree Bay had never flourished like this before.
“I do hear orc men are…you know,” the first woman whispered. “Probably better than what I’ve got at home now.”
I just rolled my eyes. Of course they don’t want the orcs here but they’ll talk like that too. I left the store, not buying anything due to my own disgust. I’d not been to the market in ages, so I wandered that way to see how it had changed. It was always so busy, so I rarely went in. The whole street was dedicated to booths with individual sellers. There was produce, meats, fish of course, handmade goods, canned goods; it was quite the selection.
“And what the hell are you doing here, Caddie?”
I stood stiff and looked back to see Romarod leaning out of his booth, a great big smile upon his face.
“Shopping for the inn.”
Hsi smile vanished slightly and I could tell he was thinking we must have destroyed something in the storage room last night.
“Mrs. Billdrake sent me out with her list,” I continued. “I’m not looking for any fish I’m afraid.”
He chuckled off his nerves. “Oh. Well-”
I smirked, watching his expression melt so easily. “I’m still surprised by last night.”
He shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. His hair was tied up into a braid and wrapped around his head like a crown. “Yeah me too. I just…got an itch that needed scratching.”
“You could have gone into the backroom like a normal fool,” I teased.
Romarod licked up the side of his tusk and his gray eyes cut to me. “I didn’t…I tried it. But uhm…didn’t really seem right.”
I cocked up my brow at him. Romarod was always a strange sort, but I was still trying to piece together his logic. “So coming to me was?”
He nodded. “I mean…I don’t mind getting touched and all by a stranger but uhm-” He cleared his throat and darted his eyes around the market. “I’d rather fuck with someone I like.”
I smiled and let out a laugh, flattered by his confession. “Not many people have admitted to liking me. At least, not for such an adorably wholesome reason.”
His brow knit together. “What do you mean?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. But will you be back by the pub tonight? I’d like to know what I can expect.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” he said with a breathless cadence. “You can count on that!”
I smirked. “Okay then. I might go into the backroom beforehand to warm up. You can meet me there if you like.”
He swallowed. “Y-you go in there?”
“It’s how I relax. What? Too much info?”
Romarod shook his head. “No. Just uhm-” He faded out then looked back at me with a serious glint. “Were you in there last night too?”
“For a minute I was.” I remember the cock the that ran away from me. “Why do you ask?”
He shook his head. “No reason I guess.”
“I’ll see you later tonight then, Romarod.”  I said as I headed back onto the street. “You’ll know where to find me.”
“See ya, Caddie.” He waved as I left, and I couldn’t help but look back once.
The backroom was empty that night. Most people were more interested in the special going on in the pub and drinking a bit too much. Once a month they ran a special to get rid of all the old alcohol, and it was always busy out front, but never in the back.
I sat in the cozy stall waiting, leaned back against the soft pillows. I sighed deeply and wandered back to the previous night. I pulled up my skirts, touching myself to the memory of Romarod and his perfect cock. I was working myself into a fervor when I heard the door open. I stilled and waited, hearing someone walk into the stall next to me. I inched closer to the gloryhole as a cock was presented to me. It was the runaway cock again.
I smirked, grabbing hold of it so they didn’t run away again. I kissed and licked, suckling on the head until I tasted something salty on my tongue.I pulled back, seeing the amazingly hard shaft before me.
“This will do until Romarod comes,” I think to myself. “He did like how wet I was last night.” I was about to slip my mouth over the entire shaft when it pulled away from me again.
Again? I stormed out of my stall, ready to confront this runaway dick when I saw Romarod standing there, with said dick attached to him. I stared blankly, a bit dumbfounded.
He sighed and tilted his head to the side. “So-”
“We meet again,” I replied, trying to regain my strength.
A grin spread across his face and he began to chuckle. “So it was you last night.”
“Both times.” I crossed my arms against my chest. “I don’t like being run away from like that. Especially when I was having fun.”
“I got nervous. Then you got seventy from me!”
I smiled, taking a step towards Romarod and slipping my hand back around his cock. “Tell you what. Just pay me for whatever you leave inside me tonight,” I purred seductively. “Ten for every ounce.”
Romarod sputtered and covered his mouth with his hand. “By the gods, Caddie.”
I smirked up at him, pressing close to him. “You like me don’t you?”
His cheeks flushed and his eyes glazed over. “So much-” he breathed. “I’ve liked you for so long, Caddie.”
My heart shuddered and I had to look away for a second. “Th-then show me. Come on.” I tugged him by his cock into the stall, bending over the seat and presenting myself to him like last night.
“Do you mind…I mean. I’d like to see you…all of you.”
I rose back up and turned. “Oh, you want a show do you?” I saw this look in his eye, a hunger but also a gentle allure. I licked my lips as I removed my blouse and let my skirts fall down around my feet.
Romarod growled low in his throat then palmed my breast in his hand.
I bit down my my lip, closing my eyes as Romarod touched and looked at me. I didn’t like undressing in front of people, let alone be naked with them. It was easy to raise my skirts, my legs and ass were my best assets. But everything above the waist-
“You’re gorgeous.”
My face burned and I opened my eyes, looking into Romarod’s heady gaze. He knelt down, kissing each breast, my chest, my neck, my lips. I whimpered softly, ready to push him away but I let him. He scooped me up, grabbing the back of my legs and wrapping them around his waist.
I gasped from fear, afraid I’d be dropped, or worse. But Romarod held me aloft, his cock pressed against my ass cheek.
“Easy now,” I panted.
“If I’m paying by the ounce, I want to make sure it’s worth it.” He pulled his hips back, laying his cock against my mound. I sucked in a breath, waiting to feel that thick cock inside me again.
“You looked eager,” he said with a grin.
“I like fucking,” I gasped. “I’m horny as hell too.”
Romarod rutted himself against me, slipping and sliding in my abundant wetness. “I can tell. Fuck. So wet.” He stilled for a moment and looked into my eyes. “Do you like me too?”
I swallowed and took a beat to catch my breath. “Why are you asking me that now, Romarod?”
“I want to know. Do you like me?”
“Of course I do,” I panted. “You’re a big, handsome fool with a good cock. You’re everything I’d want in a-” I let my randiness get the best of me and I said the quiet part out loud.
Romarod grinned and he guided his cock into me. “I knew it.”
I whimpered as he shoved in, arching his hips upward, then using his arms to lower me down. He was stronger than I gave him credit for, holding me and thrusting me onto him like I was a toy. It felt amazing.
“I’ve loved you since I was a boy,” he panted. “You’re so strong, so beautiful.”
I wanted to beg him to shut up, but I couldn’t get the words out. I was blissed, I was close to orgasm, and I actually liked what he was saying.
“I’ve wanted you so long I don’t know what to do with myself. When I came inside you last night it was all I could do to survive today. I kept getting hard at the thought of you, I felt like I was going mad.”
“Romarod-” I panted. He kept thrusting me down upon him. Over and over, fucking me, taking me as deeply as he could.
“I want to take you. To make you mine!” He stilled, panting hard from his efforts. He set me down, and while my legs shook I still got him down onto his back. I sat upon him, glaring down at him like he was my prey.
I stroked my hand down his chest, tickling him as I took him back inside me. “You’ll be mine before I am ever yours,” I breathed. I moaned as I eased back upon him. “Starting with this cock.”
Romarod whimpered and then those rough, strong hands wrapped around my hips.
“That’s it, good boy.” I slowly rode him, taking my time to savor him. “They say the Obresh reaping is coming here. Would you throw me over your shoulder?”
“Yes!” He gasped.
I sighed, rolling my hips to grind him deep inside me. “That’s good. I don’t think I’d mind that.”
“I would do everything for you,” he whimpered.
I leaned down, kissing him and cupping his face between my palms. “Then for now, make me cum.”
His hands tightened on me, urging my movements on top of him. He grunted and snarled, lifting his hips and then forcing them down upon me. I was growing weaker by the second, I wouldn’t last much longer. He showed no such signs, even after my desires had been quenched, he kept going, and going. Perhaps I’ve met my match at last.
“Lets move to Obresh,” he whispered to me, curled up against my back in my bed.
I’d directed him to my room, letting him carry me as I doubt I could have walked very far. I rolled over, giving him a warning look.
“I mean it,” he whispered. “I think we could make a life there. Your cooking alone-”
I put my hand over his mouth. “What on earth makes you think we would ever fit in amongst the people of Obresh? I’m trash here, what would I be there?”
He pushed my hand aside and held it. “You’re not trash, Caddie.”
“You know what I mean. Obresh is for fine folk. It’s constantly full of royalty and important people-”
“People who all eat.” Romarod smiled at me. “They need workers up there right now. Builders and repairmen. I’d much rather build than go back out to sea.”
I pouted. “Yeah, okay. And let's say we go up there? What then?”
“They have housing for the builders they want to hire. And if you got a cooking job at an inn again, we could live there.”
“You’re too hopeful.”
He put his hand around my mouth this time. “You’re strong and talented, and you cook just like an orc. You could name your price in Obresh. I swear.”
I was quiet for a moment until he removed his hand.
Romarod smoothed my hair away from my face, then stroked it down the side of my body, admiring all he could take in. “Let me reap you, Caddie. I promise, you won’t regret it.”
“All I’ve known is Elderbay,” I murmured. “This pub, this inn, they’re all I’ve had for so long. I don’t know if I could make it somewhere else.”
“I’ll be with you the entire time.”
I looked into his hopeful eyes, and against my better judgment, against everything I knew about the world; I believed him.
I exhaled. “Okay. Fine. But if this doesn’t work out-”
“Then we’ll do what you like,” he said with a smile. Romarod kissed me then held me fast in his arms. It was right. It was perfect.
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crazycat-88 · 5 months
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a comic about fix-it fanfics
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crazycat-88 · 5 months
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SMASH OR PASS: Bigfoot
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Please reblog for greater sample size, as per usual!
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crazycat-88 · 5 months
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Check out my ongoing comic Crow Time. It has crows, and also neat pantheons of epic beasties.
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crazycat-88 · 5 months
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My final comic is done! The origin story of Echo the dragon before she premiers in my year long student film titled Glass Roses! Echo goes through a series of homes and feels like she’ll never find her forever home before finally being adopted by the glassblower Harper. Enjoy her prequel and Glass Roses will be posted in the next two weeks!
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crazycat-88 · 6 months
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‪GOD I found another article about why ADHD kids say “I don’t know” so much. my entire childhood was getting yelled at for doing some ADHD shit and me not being able to offer an explanation when asked why I did something. ‬
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crazycat-88 · 6 months
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Mr. Pumpkin the artist.
I'm doing an art challenge for my character Mr. Pumpkin this month on my IG ~ check it out :)
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crazycat-88 · 6 months
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How To Confuse a Chupacabra
Chupacabra: Pardon me, but have you seen any goats around here?
Me: …Thats a very odd question to ask.
Chupacabra: Oh, right, we’re in New York… see, I’m a chupacabra, we’re from the south and we eat—
Me: No no sorry, I know what you ARE. But why are you looking for a goat HERE? (indicates public museum building)
Chupacabra: I asked my neighbors where to find the best goat, and they told me to come to this address. But it’s just pictures of boxing humans! Where’s the goat?! I used my lunch break for this!
Me: ………They didnt happen to say what the goat was called, did they?
Chupacabra: Hey yeah, it was some strange breed I hadn’t heard of before. Moo…Mooham…
Me: Muhammad Ali?
Chupacabra:
Me: Boxing legend and original “Greatest Of All Time”?
Chupacabra:
Me:
Chupacabra: (slowly facepalms, muttering) So today is the day I learn what human blood tastes like.
Me: (trying valiantly not to grin) How ‘bout we skip the neighbor murdering and check out this vegan vampire cafe I know about? Pretty sure they’ve got one or two goat blends.
Chupacabra: Only if you do not tell a SOUL
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(A/N: Thank you to my sister for helping me improve this one from the first version XD I have been sitting on a chupacabra post for AGES, so happy I FINALLY thought of something!)
(And NO, M.E. isn’t going to drink blood, it’s a FIGURATIVE “we”!)
Other Nonsense:
How To Defeat A Sphinx
How To Pitch to Minotaurs
How To Disgruntle a Pegasus
How To Evict a Dryad
Or you can just visit the How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!
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crazycat-88 · 6 months
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Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List
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crazycat-88 · 7 months
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I have a crush on the spider
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crazycat-88 · 7 months
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Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List
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crazycat-88 · 9 months
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crazycat-88 · 9 months
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Calling myself out
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crazycat-88 · 10 months
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The last.
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crazycat-88 · 10 months
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Repost so I can figure out how tf this website works
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