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thinking about how cool, calm, and collected teru was always a front to begin with. it became a reality he had to adapt to in order to survive.

the reality teru has before meeting mob is this: he lives on his own, he asked to live alone, no one has visited his apartment, his parents live overseas, he believes himself to be the only natural born psychic there is, he has been targeted by a terrorist group trying to kidnap him and brainwash him into being a manufactured esper soldier, all the other espers he has met have been claw grunts

the has lead teru to believe he is the main character of this world. he is arrogant, egotistical, thinks he is better than others due to his powers, and uses his powers to get his way without ever revealing he is an esper. this has gained him popularity status and morphed his perception of the world and himself

from the second he meets mob his world is flipped on its head

first off, teru is shocked to see mob is a natural

[ID: two screenshots of teru. in the first he says “are you a natural” in the second : “there’s another like me?” /END ID]

he wants to ask mob questions about it! (and im mad we never get to know what they are!) but his fight or flight kicks in. the only espers he’s met up until this point have tried to attack him. he does the only thing he knows and he needs to establish that he is more powerful than mob. in the episode prior, he tells the body improvement club that people always underestimate him.

[ID: first screenshot is of a stormy sky. teru says: “society always underestimates me…” second and third screenshots he is standing in front of the body improvement club saying: “fools who don’t try to look beneath the surface…that’s why you’re so easy to control.” /END ID]

i’m still not entirely sure what this is in reference to. who in society? just being a kid in the world? the fact people dont expect him to be a powerful esper? in context it refers to strength and size, so that perhaps? he mentions fools that are easy to control…so it could be his classmates?

earlier he says

[ID: screenshots of text teru says. “Those pieces of trash lying around here are the symbols of my authority within my life at school. And now that you’ve shattered that, you’ve basically thrown mud in my face.” /END ID]

first of all, wonderful foreshadowing here. second, teru is acting cool and calm during this altercation. he sees what he’s up against. a group of big burly guys, but commoners nonetheless. he can take them down with ease and he does.

then enters mob, who teru hadn’t noticed, saying that he shouldn’t use his powers on other people. immediately, the suave and cool guy we’ve seen teru been up until this point is SHOCKED.

which returns us to my first point. teru goes into fight or flight mode. all the other espers he’s encountered in the past, he’s had to fight. he needs to prove he is better than them in order to establish him being the best.

so, he tries to get mob to fight him. and we know how that goes, mob refuses. he knows it’s wrong to use your psychic powers against other people because it can lead to others getting hurt. this only makes teru angry. why isn’t this other guy trying to fight back, isn’t he on the same page? if he was here for a reason, he would be fighting. but no, mobs reaction is to become friends…which teru rejects.

teru sees this as a mockery of his powers. why would anyone want to work on bettering other parts of themselves? his powers made him special. they gave him attention and the life that he wants. why would someone who also has that gift refuse to use them? someone who appears weak and got himself tied up by his lackeys…why is he refusing to fight? this is making teru angrier and angrier. he’s going to go after mob with his full power to prove he is the best!

and then this guy says:

[ID: screenshot of teru in his fighting stance with mob in the background. mob says: “If it wasn’t me, you could hurt someone.” /END ID]

and teru loses it

[ID: close-up shot of teru. he says: “quit underestimating my powers!” /END ID]

teru’s not looking to rationalize or listen to what mob has to say. he wants to fight so he’s going to do what he can’t to get mob to fight back, constantly pushing him more and more, until oops, he gets ochimusha’d. and of course his ego and appearance is all he has, so vanity pushes him from making fighting threats to killing intent

and then mob has a moment of clarity, we all know the scene. “I just realized why you hold such animosity toward me. you don’t like me because we’re the same.”

and mob hits the nail on the head. without psychic powers, teru has no confidence in himself. his ego is built on them alone. take them away and he has nothing. no more standing out. he’s scared of that realization, that without his powers he is just a lonely, average person.

all of this is right, but, what mob doesn’t know is that he’s adding salt (ha) to teru’s wounds he also is afraid of confronting. mob doesn’t know teru’s circumstances, he’s rightfully calling him out but, teru is a terribly lonely child. he even admits in a quote above that his authority (as a powerful esper) only extends to his life at school. what about outside of school? does teru’s ego and confidence remain where he doesn’t have authority and power?

when teru is choking mob out, flashes of the perfect life he made for himself appear before shattering (told you it was foreshadowing). we see him doing well on tests, getting praise from classmates and teachers, doing well in sports, getting cookies and being asked out from girls at his school…all school-related activities. there is one exception. one thing that was only shown in the manga: teru’s mom

[ID: manga panel of Teru’s mom. “I’m proud of my son, Teruki.” she says.]

when we know nothing about teru, this just seems like another line of praise teru has gotten to fuel his ego. but we do know things about teru that makes this…questionable. this is the only appearance we ever get from teru’s parents in the entire series. teru lives alone without his parents, parents that work overseas. he’s been living alone for a few years now and even before then his parents weren’t around often. he’s 14. those parents don’t visit him often and he’s left alone during school vacations. vacations where he doesn’t know how to relax. teru has also been attacked by a terrorist organization. he knows this organization brainwashes child espers into becoming part of a manufactured esper army. he knows this because he overheard it while fighting an adult esper who was trying to kidnap him.

i would be hard pressed to argue it’s not implied that teru’s behavior is a result of coping with neglect and trauma. just cover up all those issues with the idea you were put on this earth to be the main character. you aren’t weird or lonely, you’re special and powerful. your powers make you confident because they’re cool! the things you do with them make people like and pay attention to you. but don’t let them know you have super powers, it’s just your natural charm.

it’s weird how the majority of praise teru gets comes from school, but he has never invited classmates, or anyone for that matter, over to his apartment.

[ID: manga panel of a outside shot of teru’s apartment. teru says: “this is my apartment. you’re my first visitor, by the way. dimple-kun told me everything.”]

there’s some sort of metaphor here with teru’s apartment, but i can’t put my finger on it. it’s just curious how how teru breaks from being told he’s nothing and lonely without his powers. but his apartment is a place away from school where he’ll be alone with no need to show off. he would get no attention at home either. why was mob your first visitor to an apartment you’ve had since the start of middle school. you are the most popular student at your school as a 2nd year student. you said you don’t know what to do with yourself in the summer…why don’t you have any real friends?

why was mob the first one?

teru you’ve said so much with the things you haven’t said.

if teru is so afraid of admitting he’s lonely, why does he say this when mob passes out/teru thinking he killed him?

[ID: screenshot of mob passed out on the floor. teru says: “wait! don’t leave me behind!” offscreen. /END ID]

also why does he mention this beforehand?

[ID: screenshot of teru being punched in the face by mob. he says “people can’t change that easily” /END ID]

perhaps he is projecting. perhaps he is afraid to change…seeing how his hands are wrapped around another boy’s neck that tried to befriend him. someone that noticed he was lonely and that he had put up a front this whole time. that the praise he gets is superficial and he has no true friends. maybe he is afraid of being himself because being yourself means confronting that loneliness.

[ID: four panels of the manga. first one is teru walking away from mob’s passed out body. it says: “kageyama shigeo vs hanazawa teruki. the first encounter between two espers has ended in a tie. the second panel shows a storm cloud with rain falling. it says: “teru couldn’t surpass mob’s psychic power. mob couldn’t protect himself perfectly either.” third panel shows teru looking down pensively. it says: “both refused to back down from their principles, the result is…there is no winner…only a feeling of emptiness remained in their chests…” the forth panel has no narration. teru faces the viewer, away from mob’s body. he looks past the viewer, he’s eyes narrowed. /END ID]

what do you think he’s thinking here?

#mp100

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crystalline-repose · 3 hours

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no sburb beta earth au where dave "microcelebrity" strider suddenly gains a big following on the internet after a spike of people discover his sbahj comics online when a screenshot of one goes particularly viral and turns into a [top text/bottom text] meme and some hipsters are like "woah,, this is actually some really avant garde stuff". when he's churning these out sitting in the bathroom stall at school once a day during lunch period. so then he gets REALLY popular and then inevitably gets cancelled at some point when a communications/poli sci major reads one of his comics and then types up a whole memo board explaining how sbahj is actually neo-conservative propaganda written as part of a conspiracy to undermine the 2008 obama presidency. and there's a whole rage war since the memo board was written really convincingly with red arrows and circles drawn around sweet bro's head and everything and dave hasn't made any public statements about it and also no one actually understands what sbahj is about. so threads are being written up about this and people are like emailing death threats to each other over it and someone even tries to doxx him and then manages to find out he lives in texas and some people start actually taking the whole thing seriously because He's From Texas (never mind the fact it's houston). meanwhile dave just started his midterms and he has to focus because he actually cares about school and his future and so he takes a short "hiatus" which people freak out even more over because they take it as him backing away due to the allegations online. and then after winter break dave comes back and opens up a q&a for his 169th "bro wee ar doign it wee ar making it hapen" special and at some point after a barrage of questions in his inbox (q: was "swety bro and hela jeff crassh on the freway" inspired by a real car accident you were in? a: i don't own a car / q: what job do you have in real life? a: unemployed but i pick up roadkill off the street sometimes / q: who did you vote for in the 2008 primaries a: i didn't) someone finally has the bright idea to ask "hey how old are you" and he replies "i'm 13" and all hell breaks loose.

#homestuck

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