cultpastorkevin

[cultpastorkevin]

aftg fandom is very dopamine depleted because it gets into discourse over the most normal and accepted statements and i just love to laugh at it any time "riko discourse happens" but it's not even a discourse it's just the same 30 people saying the same 5 lines that had already been said 10 last times the same conversation took place get yourself some new things to be offended about at this point its not even entertaining it costs no money to say nothing about the topic everyone cries about how "fanfic writers do not ask for criticism" yeah people who make content for ships you do not like do not ask for your criticisms either so fuck off and get a hobby i get why teenagers act this way but if you are older than 21 rethink your life

[cultpastorkevin]

still fighting sickness have lil Neee's i did in breaks between work telegram is struggling to collect enough likes for pic 3 so if this post gets 50 likes I'll count that as unlock too

[cultpastorkevin]

I really think the damage caused by learning jean had a sister and then 20-odd pages later finding out she's been dead for years while jean was being tortured in a cult is completely unrepairable. ill never stop thinking about them.

they never got to grow up together. she would've been 15 in tsc. hes still a teenager and she never even got to be one. this is the only universe jean didn't kill himself, so it's the only universe he learns about her fate and has to live with that knowledge. FUCK

[cultpastorkevin]

jean moreau is stronger than me bc if KEVIN DAY leaned in and whispered to ask if I could teach him my native languge when he's not watching, it could be our secret, I WOULD'VE FOLDED

[cultpastorkevin]

[cultpastorkevin]

who wore it better?? 🌈

[cultpastorkevin]

Push and Pull

[Instead of a WW for today, you all get (unfortunately only part of) a new project I started because I made myself emotional thinking about it. Thankfully it will be quite short.]

[Summary: Jean is an art major specializing in clay/pottery and goes through some introspection while working on things.]

[Enjoy!]

Jean frowned at the slab of clay sitting in front of him. He was certain that it was mocking him in its readiness to be shaped into something–anything–other than a cone, daring him to try and mold it into something else. Normally Jean handled taunting with a rough check or an even more scathing remark, but clay could not be insulted. It was literally part of the dirt. If he wasn't careful with how much water he applied to the cone, it could very easily become mud underneath his fingers. What kind of insult would be capable of hurting a clay heart? Jean knew that if he was struggling to think of an insult, that there likely were none that would be applicable.

Still, there was a peacefulness in the blank slate that the clay provided. A blank slate that he could always bring back, regardless of how many times the side of the pot caved or the clay slipped off the wheel or if he started the pot off center by accident. No matter what, he could always peel it off the wheel and start again. There was excitement in seeing what he’d be able to create out of the earth, and of seeing just how much the clay would reveal to him of its final purpose along the way. 

Jean Moreau always began his pottery projects with the same approach: by building solid walls that he could later adjust through pushing and pulling. When he’d first started making pottery he’d worried that his crooked fingers would hinder the process. That somehow, his hands would be too broken to properly shape the clay. As a result, his first pot had ended up with walls that were too thick and were uneven on top. And yet, when his professor presented the final, fired result, Jean could hardly believe that his lumpy, misshapen pot had been able to withstand its true test. 

He’d turned it over and over, searching for clues that it was a fake. He’d been convinced that there was no way that it was his project; after all, the professor had to have recreated it so that it would boost his confidence. Instead, as he’d reacquainted his hands with the clay and examined its curves and flaws, he realized that it fit perfectly in his misshapen hands. It was like holding a piece of himself─a single piece of the puzzle of his selfhood that had, until then, been lost. Then, he found the ghost of one of his fingerprints in the fired clay and all his doubts had been put to rest. 

It was still his favorite piece he’d created. It stood as proof to him that he wasn’t too broken to create something new, and on days when he doubted that fact, he would pick up the pot and turn it over once more in his hands and line his thumb up with the fingerprint.

He pulled the clay out in a bold curve, careful to stretch it in a way that would make it expand gradually, only to pinch it back in at a steeper slope. 

He’d improved with practice, of course. Soon he’d created bowls and cups and small vases. But for each project that he turned in, his professor would always say the same thing: he needed to work on making the walls thinner. But he’d refused to believe that he could handle anything thinner. He was convinced that his hands were meant for two things: hurting others, and being hurt. Already he’d proven that he could create, but convincing himself that he wouldn’t destroy something was another hurdle he had to overcome. 

It hadn’t been until his professor came to stand in front of the station where he’d been working that day and challenged him to create a bowl with a wall thinner than his pinkie. 

“But what if it folds on itself? What if it tears?” he’d asked. 

“Then you can scrape the clay off the wheel, wedge it, and start over. There’s no limit to it. You can always go back to the beginning. The clay doesn’t mind, and neither do I. As long as you lock up behind yourself when you leave the studio,” his professor had said with a shrug and a smirk.

Sure enough, he’d made the bowl too thin. It ended up tearing and folding in on itself in a pattern that almost resembled a ribbon. Jean had swallowed the defeat and followed his professor’s instructions, and the next time he’d pulled up the walls, he was almost able to maintain a consistent thickness in the walls throughout the entire bowl. 

Jean finished the vase by flaring out the top of the project, careful not to let the clay at the top of the piece get so thin that it wouldn’t be able to support its own weight. While other students in the art major program would typically get rid of the slip and any signs of the work being thrown on a wheel, Jean was careful to preserve the imperfections in the surface of his new vase. He was even more nervous to slide the wire under his project, especially given how much he liked how the vase had turned out. 

To keep his anxieties at bay, he shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and reminded himself that it was all temporary anyway. Nothing in the world is permanent, and this vase is no exception. But I can make it again, if I want to. It wouldn’t be the same, but I wouldn’t want it to be an exact replica anyway. Once he made peace with the fact that his work was only partially over, he slipped the wire through the clay as close to the base as possible, holding his breath the entire time. 

It came off the wheel cleanly, with only a thin layer left behind on the wheel that he scraped off and tossed back into the bin with the rest of the clay they used in class. Once his vase was set aside to air out for the next stage of its creation process, Jean plucked one of his projects that was nearer to completion from the shelf─a plain, relatively small tea cup─and brought it to one of the tables meant for detail work and for glazing. 

He was done with the glazing in less than thirty minutes, having picked a unique glaze that was designed to react to the firing process by changing hues and developing a melted appearance. 

Jean placed his completed project into the open kiln, whispering a quick prayer under his breath before shutting the lid. Part of him expected that each and every project of his that his professor put into the kiln wouldn’t survive the heat. And if that happened, it would take out the other projects around him as well. 

He’d told Betsy several times that he had the same fear about himself─that he would snap someday, and that it would mean that those around him would get hurt in the process.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

MASTERPOST

[cultpastorkevin]

on grieving Elodie

#jean moreau #elodie moreau #the sunshine court #tsc spoilers #aftg tsc #aftg #all for the game

[cultpastorkevin]

I am Jean Moreau. I will endure.

Just wanted to thank @korakos for sharing The Sunshine Court with us. It is everything I didn’t know I needed. ❤️‍🩹

[cultpastorkevin]

The grey area between “returned” and “donated”

[cultpastorkevin]

Chinese Zodiac x AFTG

A lovely little post for @stick-ball to make up for not liking Sense8. since this relies on birthdays i will only be doing characters whos birthdays i can find and or headcanon to be specific times.

The Foxes:

Dan: Wood Ox

Kevin: Fire Tiger

Andrew: Fire Tiger

Matt: Fire Tiger

Aaron: Fire Tiger

Seth: Water Dog

Allison: Wood Ox

Nicky: Water Pig

Renee: Water Dog

Neil: Fire Rabbit

Wymack: Earth Dog (based on HC)

Abby: Earth Monkey (based on HC)

Bee: Earth Monkey (based on HC)

The Ravens:

Riko: Fire Tiger

Jean: Fire rabbit (based on an HC that his birthday is December)

Nathaniel: Fire Rabbit

Extras:

Jeremy: Wood-Ox (most likely based on age

Laila: Wood Ox (based on her likely age due to school year and HC that her birthday is in the summer)

Catalina: Fire Tiger (once again based on likely age due to school year and HC that she is a winter baby)

Ichirou: Wood Ox

Thanks to The Cult TM for helping me figure out ages and hc's for the characters that don't have canon birthdays or ages <3333

[cultpastorkevin]

Outside for the first time in a long time You said you can't remember what it's like To feel more than cold on the inside But the sunrise will come again And you'll be just fine

[cultpastorkevin]

I just got done at a conference on trauma informed care in foster homes and attachment disorders in children with trauma and there was an emphasis on if there isn’t intervention, and honestly? I thought a lot about Andrew and Riko on the drive home and how accurate Nora’s portrayal of them was given the trauma they endured. Heck Neil too.

[cultpastorkevin]

so uh. has anyone done this yet

[cultpastorkevin]

Something I'll develop into further comprehension later maybe:

[Topic Jean, Riko, Kevin, and grooming/manipulation/abuse as well as trauma responses, and how I wish the fandom could address this without resorting to knee-jerk reactions and fake activism]

It baffles me how people see the literal impact of the mentality The Ravens (see: Tetsuji Moriyama) have towards each other and other players in TSC, wherein Jean intentionally trips his teammates to the point of nearly injuring them on the court, and don't understand that this is the easiest and most direct way to show what it's like.

I have a lot of issues with how Jean's trauma is handled in TSC and in the fandom, where it's clear that his injuries and abuse and damage is romanticized for no reason other than trauma porn. It genuinely pisses me off enough that I've stepped away from the whole fandom for a bit, even within the groups of friends/fellow fans that I consider a safe space. However.

What I don't understand is how people can see Jean tripping Jeremy and the other Trojans and continuing to do it time and time again until they literally have to whistle at him when he does it and not come to the realization that this is a parallel to how Riko was raised, as well as Kevin, and is honestly the easiest way for you to START grasping the concept that abuse is more complicated and applies to more characters than which one is telling the story.

[cultpastorkevin]

"Did you think you were special?"

[cultpastorkevin]

jean moreau really said battered housewife but make it cunt.