cunninghamchrissie

[cunninghamchrissie]

#we don’t need crossovers this isn’t the mcu

[cunninghamchrissie]

ok im really curious do you guys have books you consider your "white whale"? as in books you keep telling yourself oh yeah i really want to read that, but you keep not reading it?

#the odyssey ironically enough #emily wilson translation save me #though i guess i should read the iliad first now that emily's translated it too

[cunninghamchrissie]

A fae being stands before you.

“Every day you will receive one thousand dollars in your bank account. But every time you lift a glass to your lips to take a drink, you will hit your front teeth on the first try. Every. Time. Do you accept this deal?”

[cunninghamchrissie]

When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.

One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.

I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.

I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.

I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.

She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.

I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.

And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think… I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.

So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.

#fandom isn't fun now as it was then in large part bc ppl treat those who are older (and older gets younger day by day) like intruders #we used to look up to older ppl in fandom #now if you're 30 you're no better than a pedo creep and are only in fandom bc you're a loser w no life or some such bullshit #it's isolating af

[cunninghamchrissie]

A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

[cunninghamchrissie]

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

[cunninghamchrissie]

I don’t know which author needs to hear this right now but even if you never update your wip i would never regret reading it a time of joy is never wasted

[cunninghamchrissie]

Listen guys, you don't need to look nice to go outside. Your health is more important than appearances.

I just went on a walk in my pajamas, greasy hair in a shitty bun, acne, and a pair of new balance sneakers. Cars passed by and I said hi to everyone who passed. Did I feel self-conscious? Of course, but it was worth it.

Now I feel a lot better, because I didn't A. Overextend by forcing myself to shower/get dressed/put on concealer beforehand or B. Avoid doing anything because I felt like a mess.

Go outside and be however you are. It's not your job to look good to random strangers, you deserve to go outside.

[cunninghamchrissie]

'why r you smiling at your phone' cool girls from tumblr interacting with me mind ur business

[cunninghamchrissie]

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

[cunninghamchrissie]

Eddie, for in the shape of a girl by @staceymcgillicuddy

#eddie munson

[cunninghamchrissie]

[cunninghamchrissie]

Could we have a oneshot about in OH universe Jealous!Chrissy X Paige X Eddie :D We've seen his reaction about Jason but we never see Chrissy's about Eddie's old hook up's or exes <3

Hi! I’d love to write something like that, but I probably won’t implement Paige or any Flight of Icarus to the Old Haunts universe until I’ve read the book. I want to get a feel of her character first before deciding. But, Eddie’s got enough flings pre 1986, so they definitely run into one or two of his exes and hookups over the years, so we’ll see her reaction to that.

For the most part, especially by 1995, they don’t really get too jealous, they never give one another a reason to be. It does happen, they’re human, but there’s this deep level of trust and loyalty to one another. Jason, of course, popping up at Laura’s funeral is a special case in more ways than one.

Kind of related (not really, sorry, but it’s something 😭) I have bits of a not fully conceptualized oneshot exploring their jealousy and how they’re both so different handling it. It’s during one of their biggest fights while living in Chicago, they’re both still young and Eddie’s career is picking up and Chrissy’s going through one of her low times. It roots up Eddie’s jealousy of watching Chrissy with Jason from afar for three years and Chrissy’s the more she learns about the girls he’s been with (some she even remembers/noticed him with in high school 🤭)

Eddie’s more outwardly jealous between the two, running hot and loud (as we’ve seen). He stews internally until he eventually erupts. Whereas, Chrissy gets quiet and depressed, she’ll go into her own head and clam up tight. Which honestly drives Eddie crazy, especially the silent treatment. He’d rather she stab him in the foot or something than not talk to him. With all her insecurities and self deprecation, it’s way too easy for her to think that he won’t want her anymore and leave her for someone more beautiful and exciting. It’s been locked in her whole life by her mother and it’s a hard thing to work past for her.

Here’s a bit of it:

1989

Chicago, Illinois

He’s slumped on the couch watching the moving shadows from the traffic lights outside faze over the ceiling, one leg hanging over the edge, swinging back and forth in slow simmering agitation.

It’s dumb. He’s not really waiting up for her, it’s like only four minutes after eight when he hears her unlock the front door. She said she’d be out till around eight thirty so she’s actually early. He hasn’t even put Livvy to bed yet. She’s on her tummy, chewing on her rubber panda in her playpen. She seems content, but she knows something is amiss, she keeps glancing up at him with her big chocolate eyes in a ‘You alright over there?´ sort of way. She’s already asked like six times for the last three hours her mother’s been away.

“Otay Daddy?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, bug.”

“You otay?”

“I’m okay.”

…

“Otay, Daddy?”

“I’m fine, baby.”

…

“Daddy sad?”

“No, I’m not sad, Livvy.”

“Otay.”

“Thanks for checking.”

…

“…Daddy otay?”

“Yes! Yes! Daddy is okay, Olivia!”

“Otay.”

He glances at Chrissy when she steps inside, hoping maybe her spirits are a little lifted with some time away to clear her head. Nancy’s in town, so Robin and Vickie picked her up so they all could go out for dinner and drinks. She keeps her back to him while she hangs her keys.

“Hi.” he greets.

“Hi.” she answers tonelessly, not meeting his gaze when she turns around.

Eddie wilts, if anything, she looks even more upset. God, did she tell them? Did they spend the whole night dissecting the situation? Why is Nancy always around when he fucks up?

“So uh how was it?”

“Fine.” she replies faintly.

God. Just fucking kill him now. He hates this.

She’s not even dressed all that wild, maybe a little more sexy than usual, with the strapless floral blue dress that shows off her legs with an oversize jean jacket and her heels. Jesus God! It doesn’t matter, Chrissy could be wearing an old potato bag and she’d still get attention. He can only imagine how many stupid fucking frat boys hit on her tonight and after the incident she probably let a few of them too.

Okay fine… she wouldn’t do that, no matter how angry she is with him… but they still would try and his red hot jealousy is still flaring at just the idea of it. It only makes it worse that she’s not vying for a reaction. Not trying to get back at him.

“How’s the girls?” he asks.

“Good.” She supplies, walking past him toward their daughter. Livvy climbs up quickly to her feet using the railing of her playpen, reaching for her to pick her up.

“Hi Mama! Mama!” she exclaims in delight, turning to Eddie. “Mama home!”

“I see her, bug.” His smile is a little tight as he tries to catch her eyes, tries to reach her.

“Hi, sweetie,” Chrissy sings gently with a little smile, lifting their toddler up in her arms and walking toward the bathroom, leaving him alone to pout after her in the small living space. “Were you a good girl?”

“Yea!”

“Good.”

“Missed you, Mama,” Livvy continues to babble, leaning her head against her shoulder. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” Chrissy replies, letting her sit on the counter of the sink to watch her take off her makeup.

Eddie rises to his feet with a long sigh and follows, scratching the back of his neck as he comes to stand in the entrance, leaning against the frame.

“Pwetty,” Livvy reaches up to touch her face in marvel, her dark eyes fixated on her. “Pwetty, pwetty, pwetty,” her little fingers pet her golden waves. Chrissy’s smile is melancholy as she kisses her forehead.

“Thank you, baby.”

She is pretty, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, he wants to tell her that. She still hasn’t looked at him, keeping her gaze on her reflection as she cleans off her eye shadow and mascara.

“Mama sad.” Livvy says, studying her. “Sad Mama?”

“I’m okay, Livvy,” she tells her, giving her a bigger smile, but it still doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Mama sad.” His little girl snaps her head at him sharply, eyes big and worried. What did you do? Fix it!

“I’m trying, bug,” he breathes out. “Mama’s not talking to me.”

Chrissy looks skyward in mild irritation, lashes fluttering closed. She leans down to rinse her face.

“Talk Mama?” Livvy turns back to Chrissy, tugging at her dress. “Talk?”

“…Not tonight, baby,” she sighs, picking her back up. “Too tired.”

“Tired?” she repeats in contemplation. “Bed time?”

Chrissy hums a little yeah as she turns, waiting expectantly for Eddie to move out of her way.

He doesn’t.

“Tired, Daddy.” Olivia informs him from where she sits on her hip. “Mama tired, bedtime”

He gives his little intercessor a sad half smile. “Thanks anyway, baby girl.” She tried her best for him. “Chrissy…”

“I’m going to put her down for the night.” she informs him, eyes on his shoulder.

“…Okay.” He touches the bend of her arm, looking for her again, but she’s always been much too good at hiding from him when she wants to. “I mean, I can, if you want to change or—”

“No, I want to.” she whispers, pushing gently past him.

Give her space.

She said she wanted space.

#was just rereading this i love it so much

[cunninghamchrissie]

screaming, “but daddy i love him!”

#hellcheer #eddissy #edissy #munningham #eddie x chrissy #chrissy x eddie #eddie munson #chrissy cunningham #mine*edit

[cunninghamchrissie]

I hadn't drawn Hellcheer in a while, mainly due to the lack of good inspiration. Then, as I was surfing pose references for no one in particular I saw this ⬇️

and I thought, 'Yes, that will be them.'

Sidenote: Does Eddie not have any tattoos on his left arm?

#hellcheer

[cunninghamchrissie]

[cunninghamchrissie]

Daisy Edgar-Jones shares behind-the-scenes from the set of ‘Normal People’

#paul mescal