desertparallel

[desertparallel]

Volo here got a speedrun record of getting into a meanful relationship AND breakup, bro just went for it

Meanwhile Guzma over here is stuck in a 500k slowburn fic like a true soldier

PFFFTTTTTT

volo, speedrunner: and if we stand in this spot at JUST the right time and we have the right Secret ID and world seed -- this is why we did the RNG manipulation at the start of the game -- you can clip out of bounds and go directly to the end credits. It's all really quite simple, I got it on my first try, though I did have an advantage in that I was familiar with most of the controls from the prequel series --

guzma, completionist: so we're almost done with collecting every recipe -- we just gotta remake a couple of 'em with different toppings and we're missing some of the desserts that're locked behind other events and the skilltree. Now we've been grinding up for skill points, but we're actually gonna put these towards upgrading our dash ability and mitigating effects of low sleep, it's gonna really matter in the next -- chat, I already TOLD ya the romance skill tree's locked for a couple more plot points -- no, I'm not gonna use a speedrun strat to activate it before the cutscene!! -- chat, this isn't rigged, it's -- you're here at an 100% stream, you're gonna have t'wait -- all right, knuckleheads, I'll unlock the screaming sound for 2 minutes if ya wanna waste all your channel points on it, but I'm gonna keep makin' mac n cheese while you're doing that -- IT'S NOT RIGGED!

#oh yeah I should have this on this blog #quest collect streamer au

[desertparallel]

uh. while I'm at it. Orpheus and Euridice AU where there's. two of them going to get a soul back. so. they keep each other steady kjsdfjshdf

#orpheus and euridice au #look this is my cringe au blog that I made specifically to post my cringe aus I don't know what else to say

[desertparallel]

I thought I uploaded the streamer AU doodles???????????? I guess not???????

#quest collect streamer au #generic protagonist #streamer guzma

[desertparallel]

a few aus

#bad end v #bad end volo #pieces au #pieces gene #generic protagonist #missingno #bad end celebi #trade protagonist

[desertparallel]

more doodles from Bad End V

#bad end V #trade protagonist #bad end celebi

[desertparallel]

unposted doodles from Bad End V

#bad end v #generic protagonist #(technically. sort of) #I'm. well I went through a bunch of drafts and now I'm posting things that I forgot to #bad end volo #bad end celebi

[desertparallel]

Pokemon/DND Character sheet template:

Making your character sheet:

Final sheet:

#generic protagonist #pieces au #no alt text #I'm really sorry I'm not adding alt text to this. there's SO much text on these :'o #made these for the Pieces AU oneshot I'll be able to run [checks calendar] one day

[desertparallel]

POV you're both actively trying to kill each other for the fate of the world

#pieces au #generic protagonist #lysandre

[desertparallel]

Guzma with vamp teeth 😩👌👌👌

he looks so cool the whole squad has to join in

#wait this is so funny after 4 years I finally made an actual proper vampire au and guz isn't even the vampire #he still has those chompers tho <3 #reblog

[desertparallel]

UH. WELL IT'S STILL "AU WHERE EVERYTHING'S THE SAME EXCEPT THERE ARE MONSTERS" BUT THE NUMBER OF MONSTERS HAS INCREASED NOW DSKJFHDSF

#generic protagonist #guzma #lysandre #volo #cw pda #vampire au #ocxcanon #lysandre turning gene was obvious and werewolf boyfriend guz was also obvious.... volp being a Normal Human is less obvious but so funny #(don't look at me 😫)

[desertparallel]

some of my friends were joking about a vampire au where everything's the exact same but gene's inexplicably a vampire and this is my au blog so I'll inflict this on everyone KFHSDJKF

(they're so stupid in any au. I love them.)

+ guzma by himself

#vampire au #generic protagonist #guzma #this isn't nsft or even really pda but it could probably use a tag for being campy KJFHSDKJFH

[desertparallel]

guz still cooks even in the postapocalypse <3

#generic protagonist #pieces au #captions needed

[desertparallel]

more "pieces" au... ft. a volo who very much failed in hisui even without a hero to stop him

#captions needed #pieces au #generic protagonist

[desertparallel]

the original au is based on this song, but I didn't finish the end of it

#generic protagonist #pieces au #(generic starts gathering allies #inc. the former chairman rose who's super out of it now that galar has bigger problems than an energy crisis lmaoooo) #captions needed

[desertparallel]

Pieces AU - near the beginning

"But he's the reason Diantha isn't here with us to debate this! Where's Red? He'll back me up --"

Steven's face was haggard and drawn. They all were. "Blue was in Western Kalos when the Ultimate Weapon went off -- "

Cynthia narrowed her eyes, still puffy and rimmed with red. "He's not the only person who lost a partner that day. He should be here."

"--AND Giovanni has been running a tight ship in Kanto. Red could be anywhere."

"Okay," Gene's voice was hoarse. "Okay. But Lysandre did ALL of this. You can't just -- let him take over -- you can replace the United Regions for now -- "

No one would meet his eyes.

"He has resources." Leon saw Generic's mouth open and cut him off, more forcefully this time. "Yes, mate, he's got us cornered! We're falling into his trap, yeah? Well, we have regions to feed and we've got no power. I'll walk into the void and back if it'll keep Galar alive."

Murmurs of assent ran through the dimly lit meeting hall. Exhausted glance met exhausted glance and trepidation steeled into a quiet resolve among the standing champions. Generic swallowed. "Fine. You -- keep your regions alive. Take care of the people. I'll -- I'll -- find a way to stop -- Lysandre. That is -- the whole reason I exist."

He managed to march into the hall and shut the door curtly behind him before his legs gave out. Back against the wall and grateful for something solid in his life, he cried.

~~~~~~~

"You have been QUITE the pest." Lysandre peered at Generic from across the table, his interlaced fingers just barely hiding his smirk of victory. "I must say, I almost admire your determination to, what was it? Something colorful -- ah yes. 'Rend me limb from limb.'"

"Well, you know what they say about sharing your inner beauty." Generic's words dripped with sarcasm and what he hoped was malice.

The corner of Lysandre's mouth twitched. Shit. That wasn't supposed to be funny.

"Now, now. You haven't even introduced yourself yet!"

"Fuck you."

A disapproving frown. Better, but he still looked too relaxed.

"You only caught me this time because you were lucky. If I weren't restrained, you'd have been dead by now."

This time, Lysandre chuckled -- a deep, rich sound. Somehow, that was even more irritating.

"I believe you, of course." Lysandre leaned back in his seat comfortably and put his hands behind his head, completely at home despite the hundreds of frozen Pokemon lining the walls. "Why, if looks could kill -- but they can't, now, can they? And unfortunately, you haven't been so effective at it yourself either, have you?"

Before Generic could think of a good retort, a cheerful-looking man in that stupid Team Flare outfit trotted up to the table, handing Lysandre a file and a mug of coffee. Generic's eyes flitted towards the cup in spite of himself -- it smelled so good... How long had it been since he'd had something warm to --

He kicked himself under the table. This wasn't the time to think about being tired... or thirsty... or --

Lysandre had already noticed his lingering gaze, and his stupid smirk had returned. He began to comment on what he was reading -- "tsk, tsk, you have no records before 2013... You've certainly kept a low profile. ...ah, but you were the Hoenn champion for a few months? And here I thought we were dealing with a nobody..."

After a few more minutes, he sighed with mock pity and threw the file onto the table, its contents spilling out for Generic to see.

"Celebi's hero. Aren't you a bit late to try to stop me?"

Those words felt worse to Generic than anything else Lysandre could have said or done to him, and he had to take several deep breaths to keep the stinging in his eyes from turning into tears. There was no way he could let this monster know that he'd gotten to him.

"I do feel a certain sense of responsibility towards you." Lysandre stood leaned over the table, towering over his nemesis. "After all, we are both in pursuit of a more beautiful world, and I am a merciful leader. I'll even ignore your previous transgressions; after all, even Giovanni tried to betray me before we came to our current agreement."

His voice softened, but his stare was as intense and unwavering as ever. "Wouldn't you prefer to do something more productive? Aren't you tired? You could work here in Alola and live a normal life. As everyone else is choosing to. Right now, you're entirely alone. What do you have to lose?"

Generic looked up at the ceiling and began to whistle as obnoxiously as he could, and Lysandre sat back down and sighed. "What a pity."

In an instant, Mewtwo appeared behind Generic and teleported him away. The last thing he saw of the room was -- satisfyingly -- Lysandre's look of shock as he lost his quarry.

"Thank you." Generic patted Mewtwo's head and handed them a massive pile of coins and PokeBeans. "My Pokeflute-tune whistling has gotten better, don't you think?"

Mewtwo simply rolled their eyes and teleported away again. Generic pulled the hood of his cloak over his head and began walking towards the woods, once again alone.

#pieces au #long post #sorry I am Not a writer but I didn't feel like drawing all of this FKSJDHFJKH #generic protagonist

[desertparallel]

Pieces AU -- background information

#pieces au #generic protagonist #captions forthcoming

[desertparallel]

I’m so sorry but I blacked out and suddenly found that I’d doodled more of my isekai au. the part where the knight finds out from the magician that his favorite bookstore owner (who lets him hold meetings with his knight order) is actually the lost prince and had returned from a terrible future KGHDSKJF

#the secretary's third life #reblog