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Ngl I’m gonna go against the grain here and say that Lilith isn’t the one holding Alastor’s “leash”
She’s got a deal to help him be rid of it.
Alastor helps Lilith by protecting Charlie and the hotel, and she as the Queen of Hell likely has to power to break deals made by other demons so she frees Alastor from his bonds.
And that’s why he’s pissed at Lucifer, because as he’s more powerful if he steps in and helps then that threaten Alastor’s own position and he won’t be needed, ergo his deal with Lilith will be off
I just can’t see him being so offended by Lucifer and protective of the hotel if Lilith was the one holding his leash.
matthew lillard the equivalent of a scream queen but for the killers. like if i find out he's in a slasher film i already know he's gonna be doing the most cuntiest kills
Thinking about vampirism in D&D again... Considering the tadpole shut down most of the abilities Astarion's just taken for granted for about 200 years, as discussed by him and Shadowheart:
3. Astarion: It's a long time since I was in a house of healing. Gods, it's depressing.
0. Shadowheart: I suppose you don't have much use for hospitals... unless you're seeking to steal their blood stock.
2. Astarion: True, although I don't heal as fast as I used to. The one downside to the tadpole, I suppose.
1. Shadowheart: The one downside? I think you might have stopped the count too soon...
End
Well, Astarion is probably used to watching his injuries start closing up the moment he gets them. This whole thing where wounds just stay open, potentially kill you and hurt all day is a new one. I wonder if he worked out his regeneration was nullified before he got himself severely injured... His assessment of damage might be a bit out of practice.
There's also the fact that vampires have supernaturally boosted physical capabilities; the default vampire spawn strength score is more along the lines of 16.
While I am attached to Astarion's horrible noodly score of 8, the concept of him absentmindedly trying to lift things far too heavy for him without vampirism giving him an edge is funny (and honestly could very well tie in to discovering the lack of regeneration when he hurts himself). His reflexes are still good, but they would've been better so he probably finds himself quite clumsy.
His senses of sight, hearing and smell might've gotten duller too (if he complains about this nobody is going to have sympathy - he's an elf, he has the sharpest senses by default). His sense of touch, on the other hand, might've been restored (it's duller for the undead). You know what will make Astarion's already charming attitude [affectionate-and-derogatory] better? Overstimulation.
And after he adjusts the tadpole is removed, and it's back to the adjustment period.
Assorted things Astarion hates that amused me, for some reason, gathered from the dialogue files and written down, I'm not fussing around with screenshots and picture editing right now.
Art:
"I'm not normally one for literature, but there's something there."
Sir. Your single fucking idle animation is literally reading. You do dramatic readings of the Tell-tale Heart (although all things considered, that was more of a dramatic re-enactment. Bloody theatre nerds.)
"Ugh. Art."
"Oh, I hate art."
"They were clearly artists. You can tell because it's a mess in here."
-
Toys and apparently their owners aren't held in high esteem, either
"Cuddly toys - perfect for weak, soft children."
"[The teddy bear]'s only half-finished and I already detest it."
"Oh, not a creepy doll. Oh that's just awful."
-
Using his brain (ie, Puzzles)
"This better be worth it - I can't stand puzzles."
"What now? Why can't I just kill my way through this?"
"So the plates trigger the lights above the doors, and - oh no. It's a puzzle, isn't it?"
"That's not it. Maybe it's someone's birthday or… gods, I hate these things." (also from the bank puzzle, as above. Modern AU Astarion always forgets his PIN, I think)
Curious Polar bear (Ursus maritimus) standing upright and looking through porthole into the kitchen of arctic expedition ship M/S Stockholm in Svalbard, Spitsbergen, Norway by Andy Rouse