dissocialed

[dissocialed]

#be not afraid #dissociality

[dissocialed]

i think i might have weird guy disorder :(

#and what a blessing #truly #or a curse #just add water

[dissocialed]

does anyone feel the layer of plexiglass between themselves and the rest of the world or is that just a me thing

#mostly #the plexiglass is there for my peace and sanity

[dissocialed]

Dealing with my fear of entrapment by never asking for anything, and my fear of being burdened by never doing anything that involves other people. Foolproof.

Dealing with my fear of rejection by never asking for anything, and my fear of being a burden by never doing anything that involves other people. Foolproof.

#good morning #szpd

[dissocialed]

It is rather curious to me that people who spend most their time anxious and overtuned would like to get back to that as soon as possible. People hate being forced to slow down for any reason. That I don't understand. Life is overstimulating enough as it is. It is so much frantic activity to be a person.

#Yes #I prefer “depressed #languid #any manner of synonyms #x

[dissocialed]

People most often feel dark when depressed, when I get "depressed" it's like oh. I'm home again. I am on the shores of familiar beaches. This isolated place. It is so familiar it is almost soothing. People can become flustered, fearful; upset over what they may miss out on. They wish to go from it as fast as possible before it catches up with them. For me, it's some of the only real rest I get.

#x #imagine if you will descending calmly #until one's back lay flat upon the ocean floor

[dissocialed]

I believe "depressed personality" is so ingrained in schizoid because in depression, one feels most "alone" and removed of anything else. To most people this no doubt sends them into a frenzy; they search, desperate to make sure the connections they so want are indeed still there-- but when you wish to live in a detached manner, because you experience people and their constant expectations and demands to only be tiresome, the burden of connections and the intricate webs they weave (which you hardly asked to be part of) then for you, the depressed state is the most blissful you could possibly be in. One could say the most natural. However, the unfortunate side effect is that it still requires a hefty amount of one's own energy. And life does not slow down, even if you wish to be in that place a while.

Most people rush to escape the pull of its waves. I stand at the shore awaiting to be swept from the hectics of life. It is yet another way schizoid is not adapted for coexistence with human society, even though we are quite human.

It is a paradox of paradoxes. A lonely person who cannot get lonely. A depressed person who is happiest depressed.

#szpd #schizoid #actually szpd #schizoid personality disorder #schizoid pd #x

[dissocialed]

#You already know

[dissocialed]

#normie core post #but this is genuinely the way schizoids prefer the world at all times #if you relate to it don't read too into it though #once again it's the severity and frequency of a symptom that makes a disorder #so to recap it's normal to enjoy the brief respite of night #especially for introverts #but if you would go insane living this constantly without socializing between #probably not #szpd #schizoid

[dissocialed]

What are your political views?

pretty good

#Now #I tend to keep politics off this blog #but what are my views? #based tbh #<- I'm using more slang #isn't that fun?

[dissocialed]

who else up hurkleing their durkleing

#hurkle-durkle is an extreme sport

[dissocialed]

do you ever laugh with your friends and think oh this is the point. this is the point of everything

#no #not really #but I do have a good chortle or two for myself #and that feels worthwhile

[dissocialed]

Does the word "friends" ever sound grating on anyone else's ear.

#I am not thoroughly opposed to the idea #but I simply don't care about it #it's presumed however #if you have few close relationships #and don't actively seek to grow more #that you're hurting inside #or you're aftaid to be vulnerable #or whatever nonsense #I just don't experience the compulsion #my own company is fine with me #szpd #schizoid #actually szpd #dissocial #primary psychopathy

[dissocialed]

It makes absolutely perfect sense. Doesn't compel me though.

#people who think I just don't understand the joys of socializing #no I get that part #I know why and how it's enticing for others #what in the brain does that #something something limbic resonance #which I don't experience #so therefore: no joy #or rather I don't receive it in the same manner #primary psychopathy #dissocial #szpd #schizoid #actually szpd

[dissocialed]

Curious to note that most stress advice doesn't apply when you're on this spectrum.

"Be with others and you'll feel better" absolutely not. That will make it worse. That would be exhausting.

I need to be Alone and write fervently into a journal and then burn the journal, then lie in bed in ritualistic fashion, contemplating everything that exists as my mind journeys across the astral plane digesting the burden of knowing. Then maybe like, eat something.

#actually szpd #szpd #schizoid #dissocial

[dissocialed]

Schizoid is funny because people will describe their deepest, darkest fears, the worst horror stories they can imagine about being alone on a deserted island or whatnot and you just get to be like. That's it? That kinda fucks, actually.

#cindy this is bones #that's how I relax #that's a sunday afternoon #szpd #actually szpd #schizoid

[dissocialed]

big fan of attributing things to "the curse" recently and not elaborating

#the curse #no not that one #the other one