dokutah-exe

[dokutah-exe]

I have a question about our uniform policy. Why do all the cool sexy operators get to wear fancy outfits and gizmos while us reserve operators have to wear generic tactical gear that covers our faces while we get sent to die in waves into haunted circus castles and eldritch deep sea trenches?

there's no hard dress code. just dont walk around naked.

you just chose to. like everyone else did.

[dokutah-exe]

thinking about installing more holes in my visors so that my tears can drain out more easily when reading some of the backstory dossiers of my operators while on my knees and wailing and crying like a little bitch

#arknights #come over to rhodes island we have #*adjusts glasses* #littlest cancer patient and shellshocked war survivor and littlest cancer patient and shellshocked war survivor and littlest cancer patien- #HR actually uses waterproof sprays now upon my request to coat sensitive documents in #i told them it was cause of calculated risk of iberia #but they see through me like i do #its so tough

[dokutah-exe]

"A medic doesn't have to heal if their enemies are already dead."

Mr. Doctor Arknights, 2023

what kind of medic are you? heals your ally with water, fire, or beat up enemies with your spine?

#arknights #this is why i am the strategist #and yall are the operators #im over here playing sternhalma six times over with myself while yall are playing connect four in front of the mirror

[dokutah-exe]

so is orchid popukar's mom or something? i mean they're in the same team after all

hell if i know thats not my business

like am i genuinely going to interrogate the familial relationships of my coworkers in front of their faces? no, thats deeply rude and quite irritiating

im going to do it behind their backs by tracking their backgrounds like a proper strategist. geeze.

#arknights #orchid #popukar

[dokutah-exe]

You’re a medical professional right? can you diagnose me? What condition causes frequent dreams of Ling and Chong Yue teaming up to do things to me?

horniness. take a cold shower. next question.

[dokutah-exe]

why is our pizzeria called 80% pizza, what's the other 20%

women

[dokutah-exe]

So i was talking to Closure earlier, and i found out she's selling diketon today.

Can you believe that?

A whole ton of them!

As if Rhodes Island dorms aren't full of them already!

rhodes island was filmed in front of a live studio audience

[dokutah-exe]

GUESS WHO THE FUCK IS AT ONE MILLION LMD BITCHES

#STARTEDFROMTHEBOTTOMNOWIMHERE

SHOUTOUTS SHOUTOUTS TO MY FELLOW DOCTORS YOU ALL HAD MY BACK WHEN I WAS BROKE NOW IM REMEMBERING THE NEIGHBORHOOD

WANNA SAY THANK YOU TO MY HOMESLICE KALSIT EVEN THOUGH SHE REALLY DIDNT HELP BUT IF I DONT DO IT ILL VIOLATE OUR CONTRACT

WANNA THANK ALL MY OPERATORS OUT THERE DESPITE BEING MASSIVE LMD SINK YALL ARE THE BEST PEACE LOVE LAUGH LIFE NEVER FORGET CHERNOBOG PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH

HASHTAG WE MADE IT

#arknights #and to think the secret all this time was to #...run out of things to spend on #i literally dont know where to sink my lmd anymore #straight up im just getting free money and sitting on it like a weirdo #Just Save Money Bro Just Never Spend It And Youll Be Filthy Rich #who knew

[dokutah-exe]

1-7.

did the same thing when I was trying to level amiya up - after doing the dailies for orundum I just ran 1-7 over and over again and used the workshop to make that special kind of rock she wanted

took a while but I did it in the end

fuck dont tell them where the rocks are theyre gonna steal them from us

[dokutah-exe]

Can I get a rain check on beign assigned to the trade center with Texas and Lappland? Its really weird being in the room while they… well… you know…

oh? when they what, anon? if theyre doing something wrong, you may want to report this to HR directly. we can do something about that

#arknights #homophobia

[dokutah-exe]

Strong Operators.

Weak Operators.

That is only the selfish perception of people.

Truly skilled Doktuhs should try to win with their favorites.

i can tell you havent fucked around with end game content

#arknights #i mean most operators are good #but theres very clear sets of utility at play #which ive learned #the hard way #over and over and over and over and over and over and ov

[dokutah-exe]

What makes you think throwing 200 rocks at your daughter is going to make her evolve a second time like a pokemon?

look, when i get into the operator tab, and the upgrading requirement tells me i need rocks, and i have zero idea how to do that, sometimes you just need to improvise

its like training an umpire. she'll just get stronger that way

#arknights #amiya #no i dont pummel her with rocks #i sorta just throw them on the floor around her and see what happens #(nothing has happened yet but i am DEDICATED)

[dokutah-exe]

Hey uhhhhhhhh not in a hurry or anything but W just gave me a cupcake that she said was gonna blow my taste buds and uhhhhh it’s making ticking noises is this safe to eat or should i

did you actually, genuinely believe W had any capacity to bake

the dirty truth is that terrorists regardless of alignment have no capacity in the kitchen. the cooking world is its own special hell that not even the most hardened operator is ready to face.

#arknights #w #its easy to say youll do what it takes #when youve never even stepped foot in Cutthroat Kitchen #she wouldnt last five seconds there #her ass is out the door round one #she doesnt even strike me as the kind of person who even knows when to eat a fuckin fruit #well save for one

[dokutah-exe]

doctor what does one do when they go into the medical ward for a tummy ache and gavial just punches them in their gut 3 times and asks if the pain of the punch helps with the tummy ache any. asking for a friend

you say "thank you gavial for solving my tummy problem"

#arknights #gavial #she is an actual doctor #if she says it needs to be cured by trial by combat #you damn well better believe it need to be

[dokutah-exe]

How's your unstrained summer fun going?

my idea of unstrained summer fun is to seal myself in my crypt of an office and watch battle record reruns until my head goes numb but amiya keeps bursting through and drags me out like a dead body as she invites me to tea time with The Gals and i am forced to interact with people and then i have to keep hiding from kal'sit to avoid medical check up because part of it is that she's mean and part of it is because its really funny to make her strategize my capture against the Chief Strategist but she doesnt find it funny so every time she captures me she gives me the Extra Big Needle and it hurts lots but then i think she feels the slightest smidge of guilt and gives me a nutrient cookie but those suck ass but i dont want to dissapoint her so i just eat it raw and then i crawl back to the office again like a freshly baked mummy eager to ferment once more within the crypt

being cryogenically frozen was probably the best thing ever tbh sucks i cant recall shit

#arknights #kal'sit #amiya #being frozen doing nothing as a total vegetable? #never been more relatable #already do that shit now tbh

[dokutah-exe]

mwah!

gravel please we need to keep this professional

[dokutah-exe]

do you honestly expect me to take an organization named "pinus sylvestris" seriously

#arknights #if you dont pronounce it as PENIS SYLVESTRIS #youre lying to yourself