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How did you get into MKGRP?

Like how I did fangans: watched my friends get into it, and I decided I wanted to be included. For the uninitiated, I'm told that the DR Nexus Discord (?) is a place that a lot of people advertise, and also checking the MKGRP tag on Tumblr (not sure if it's a different tag). But honestly, I only apply to games that people I know are applying to, and then I ask them for links, so I'm not much help if you're looking to get into it yourself.

#asks #not cyah #crow caws

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4/11 yet again (it's 4/17. don't look at me)

Hello gamers. It's been a hot minute.

Mostly putting this here to let people know that I've deleted my main deviantART because I hadn't used it in literal years, but I also forgot that I'd put up all the ASLH and CYAH maps in my stash, so... I'm going to have to go and replace those all at some point, I guess?? I also briefly hosted some of the early ch1-2 graphics on sta.sh as well, as well as the ch1-3 trivia... Unless I actually put it in my secondary dA? I'll have to check on that later. (If you notice anything weird, let me know. I'll also try to fix typos when I have the chance, though... genuinely, it's a little hard for me to read my own writing from now over four years ago, so fixes might have to wait a little bit.)

Annual productivity report: I'm still planning to continue with DRE:CYAH and ASLH Clear Skies Mode... eventually. I scripted most of DRE:CYAH around four years ago, which as noted is a lot of years, and I would like to heavily rework the project if/when I get back to it. As for CSM, I just haven't had the energy or motivation to work on anything related to ASLH. Still, I hope I can grow to love my high school self's stories again.

In the meantime, sorry again for continuing to disappear off the face of the Earth for months at a time. I've stepped away from public-facing social media this year for my mental health and have also been struggling with wrist issues and extreme creative burnout, though I still appreciate all of your kind comments and kudos.

If you have any questions about ASLH or about me, I'll do my best to answer what I can, though I won't guarantee a reply. (Nothing personal, I've just been feeling oddly about sharing myself online these days.) I'll reblog this to the CYAH blog, too, but I'll be closing the ask box there because I genuinely cannot answer much about what I plan for that story or its characters; it's all a little up in the air, and I don't want to say anything that won't end up coming to fruition.

Take care!

#not cyah #crow caws

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4/11/2023!

Hi! So, you may have noticed that I made a whole announcement about after having lost my way writing CYAH and promising to rework the story, I basically disappeared off the face of the planet for the next year on the majority of my social media. I’m really sorry! Part of this was touching grass. Part of this was getting into MKGRP but we don’t need to talk about that. Mostly I wanted to address the fact that another year has come and gone, and I… am still nowhere near where I want to be with CYAH.

ASLH, the fangan that I’d written previously, was a work that influenced a lot of people, and I’m eternally thankful for all of the feedback and the people I’ve met through working on that story. That being said, its success is in large part influencing the way that I think about CYAH. Because I wanted to outdo myself, and because I’ve gotten older and better at writing and drawing, I went into CYAH with a feeling of wanting the story to be “worthy” of everything I’ve done up to this point. I came to it at least partially with the intent of making something greater to or equal than ASLH in terms of messages and meaning, while also not having a clear idea of what those would be. I also hadn’t really planned enough in the hopes of recreating that magic spontaneity that led to some really impactful lategame writing decisions, which is something I’ve mentioned in the past.

This all has contributed to me being unable to face CYAH, or ASLH for that matter - in the past two years, I’ve stopped being able to actually enjoy any of my writing or stories without wanting to tear it all out and rewrite it. Which! Sucks. And is part of a greater pattern in my life that I am currently attempting to unpack. I think something I need to remember is that ASLH is a story I wrote as a high schooler for myself, and that I don’t need it to be anything else. That CYAH should be something I work on for my present self, and that it really doesn’t need to be anything deeper than what I would like to read and tell people about. Also, lovingly, recognition is the devil.

So! Basically, I still don’t intend to abandon CYAH. It may take me some time to love it again, but I know I will get there eventually and in my own time. I don’t EXPECT any progress on it, however, so I can’t give you a time frame. I’ve been telling myself that I expect progress for the past year and a half, and really all it’s done is stress me out and make me worry even more about putting out a better story. So I want to take my time and not pressure myself. I don’t ask anything of you, and to be clear, I don’t expect anyone to wait for me, since I have no idea how long it’ll take. But mark my words, I will get it done.

Be kind to yourselves! We get older, we get busier. These things happen no matter where you are in life, and progress often isn’t linear. I’m wishing you the best as we all continue to move forward!

#crow caws #not cyah #<3 !

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Made a new sign for the library

#not cyah #michelle kang #q

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#not cyah #leon mercury kahananui #q

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once a girl reported me to an administrator at school bc i was breaking dresscode and she didnt like me. so i pushed her down the stairs. i just kept walking and i dont think she saw me and i never got caught. i know she got very seriously injured and they had to call an ambulance and she transferred schools bc she knew SOMEONE pushed her and she didnt feel safe. ive never regretted it. its been years since i graduated and im on mood stabilizers now, but sometimes when someone is testing my patience i calm myself down by thinking about how good it felt to snap once and how i cant do that again bc i would go to prison probably

#not cyah #denzel madera

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#not cyah #denzel madera #q

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mystery novel but the author has no clue whats happening either and is getting increasingly more upset

#not cyah #MONOTAMA MANOR #atr is a murder mystery without murder and sometimes without the mystery #q

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i'm the normalest guy on the planet btw. #normalboy #normalcore #boynormal #normalguythings

#not cyah #qiongjie chen #q

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#not cyah #emi kusada #q

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I know that thinking sonic is like kind of cringey or whatever is kind of the default state of the internet but if you genuinely harbor real hatred for sonic the hedgehog I think there's something wrong with you. Hes a blue hedgehog who likes to run fast. he follows his heart. if you hate him you are sick

#not cyah #fuugo wabuki #q

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Azzi & Osta | La Matiére du Vent

#not cyah #hyouka ienobu #q

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(suffering the clear and obvious ramifications of my voluntary actions) once again god torments me for no purpose but sick amusement

#not cyah #krystal anderson #q

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maybe you should kiss a cat on its tiny little head then you'll feel better

#monotama #not cyah #q

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Oh my god that's fucking hilarious

#not cyah #isaku umitsu #q

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#not cyah #monotama manor #q

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Su Meng-Hung — Distortion of Prosperity Abound (Red) acrylic on canvas, 2008

#not cyah #mallory anand #q