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#Dr. Linda Miles #Change Your Story Change Your Brain #Dr. Linda Miles books

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The Sensation of Living in the Now

  by Dr. Linda Miles Do you frequently stress about yesterday and worry about tomorrow? Are you afraid that you’ll run out of time or that you’re somehow missing out on life? Have you ever stopped to register how your entire body is feeling? When was the last time you were consciously grateful to be alive? In their inspirational book, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, writer Philip Yancy and surgeon Dr. Paul Brand explore the fascinating world of the human body and spirit, examining “the miracle of skin, the strength and structure of the bones, [and] the dynamic balance of muscles.” Dr. Brand reflects on his time spent with people suffering from leprosy, revealing how that experience altered his life by making him appreciate the function of the human skin and its ability to feel sensations. Leprosy is a condition that causes granulomas of the nerves, respiratory tract, eyes, and skin; it results in a person’s inability to feel. Apart from the skin lesions and damage due to the disease itself, lepers are typically covered with sores that are caused when they sit on something hard or when they lean on sharp objects. Wounds and infections can result in tissue loss and deformation, numbed and diseased skin, and permanent damage to the nerves, limbs, and eyes. We often take the gift of our five senses for granted. Yet just stop a moment and imagine having no feeling in your skin to warn you of extreme heat, sharp objects, or dangerous situations. Dr. Brand imagined this frequently. Although leprosy can be treated, it is contagious via nasal droplets; the doctor often wondered if he would wake up with the numbing symptoms. It changed his outlook and made him intensely grateful for his life and for the world around him. I have had the privilege of working with a group of terminally ill cancer patients. What floored me was their vibrancy, their joie de vivre; they took such delight in every moment because they knew that their lives would soon end. If we thought that we were going to wake up tomorrow and not be able to see, feel, smell, or hear, then we would cherish everything that our senses could drink in. So try that. Live the day like it’s your last. Take a moment and just look around you, see what draws your attention and what pleases your eyes. Allow your attention to focus on that someone or something for 30 seconds. Of course other thoughts will enter your mind meanwhile. Notice them, acknowledge them, but don’t let them distract you from your object. You may notice a greater sense of relaxation and calm as you immerse yourself in the experience of the present moment. If you’ve never tried this before — or if you’re looking for a different method to practice mindfulness more effectively — the “body scan” is an excellent technique to get in touch with your senses on a daily basis and monitor how you’re doing and feeling.

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Experiencing the Joys of Everyday Life Through Mindfulness

    by Dr. Linda Miles

For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half-lived life.

— Herman Melville    

Do you dwell on the negative in your day?

Do you want to live more in the present moment? Do you want more joy in your life?

Meet Leah

Leah, a middle-aged administrative assistant, had a history of depression. She experienced problems in her past relationships, and isolated herself because she felt like a loser. She did not want to repeat that pattern, but her new partner began to complain that she was always negative.

Leah tended to apply a negative filter to her thinking, meaning that she focused on the negative and discounted the positive. Think of Leah's brain as either glue or Teflon, depending on whether an experience was negative or positive. When she made a mistake or received criticism, her negative thoughts that followed were "sticky" and difficult to get out of her mind. When she performed well or was complimented, any positive thoughts that followed quickly slipped away.

Cognitive psychologists have found that this type of despondent thinking is prevalent in those with depression and, fortunately, can be changed.

How Leah Found Joy

Leah sought help to become aware of her destructive thought patterns through mindfulness. She soon realized that she learned this way of thinking as she grew up. Raised in a household with little joy, and ample negative thought and behavior patterns, Leah's model for thinking about the world was formed at a young age and became unconscious. The fact that she could change her thinking and behavior gave her hope.

By gently shining a light on inner-injurious thoughts without judging herself, Leah was able to become aware of why she felt and acted as she did. Through her practice of mindfulness, she could live more fully in the present moment. She started to feel more alive, and her sensory perceptions were heightened.

Leah learned how to experience joy in simple acts like washing dishes. She let herself take in the lemony aroma of the soap. She slowed down to experience the feeling of the soap on her hands. By developing mindfulness skills, Leah became able to focus on the now. Joyful moments became more glue-like while her negative thinking, through practice, became more like Teflon.

As Leah's focus changed to appreciation and celebration of life, she began to notice joy, love, and miracles in the every day. As her inner experience began to change, she smiled more often and developed a better outlook on life. Her depression lifted. This is consistent with research showing that mindfulness shrinks the parts of the brain associated with negative arousal, increases volume and activity in brain centers associated with calm awareness, and reduces depression symptoms.

According to relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman, couples who thrive over time have a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions over negative ones. Leah's improved relationship with her partner bears this data out.

Joy is a Choice

Savoring moments of joy becomes a thought habit, and the brain likes to repeat habitual ways of thinking. As you practice, your brain wires neural networks to fire in the direction of joyful thinking.

As neuroscientist Dr. Wayne Drevets observed, “In the brain practice makes permanent." Fortunately, because of neuroplasticity, we can take steps to reroute our brains in the direction of gladness at any age.

Your Turn

Is your mind like glue for negative thoughts and Teflon for positive ones? Here are some easy ways to begin changing how your brain responds:

Imagine letting thoughts pass through your mind like clouds overhead.

Visualize a neural railway and that you're laying track toward enticing stations.

Look for joy in everyday things; open your eyes and imagination.

Practice staying present in your body.

Learn to focus as you experience moments in the day.

Let your attention come into your senses as Leah did when washing dishes.

So much of life is spent replaying what happened in the past, or imagining what might happen in the future, that people do not fully experience the present. Developing a simple practice of daily mindfulness can increase your ability to feel joy in the moment. Try this:

Take a moment to close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply using your diaphragm. Let your attention scan your body. Notice places of tightness or tension. Imagine that the tension is a knot and in your mind release the knot gently. Let it go. Feel the tension loosen.

Imagine a time when you were very happy. Allow yourself to experience that feeling. How does your body change as you recall this memory? Open your eyes and look around the room until you see something that gives you pleasure—a picture, a book, flowers. Allow your attention to linger on that sensation.

Train your brain to go to places of peace and joy. Set an intention to focus on joy instead of attack thoughts. As you do this, you may experience small changes in your mood. Over time, your ability to choose joy and peace of mind will increase.

While this is a very simple practice, most people do not stick with it long enough to really make a difference. To help you commit to a regular schedule of mindfulness practice for the long-term, consider setting a reminder alarm on your cell phone.

You will find if you practice this throughout the day, even for a moment at a time, you will see objects in more detail and begin to experience peaceful joy. There is no right way to practice noticing your past thoughts and recreating them in the present. Keep trying until it feels right for you.

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Strength Sought Through Salvation: The Power of Meditative Prayer

When the bishop first met the hermits, he attempted to teach them to pray “the right way”, spending hours with the hermits and trying to make them memorize the unfamiliar words. Instead, the encounter taught him an enormous lesson: that the formality or the form of prayer matters far less than the authenticity and whole-heartedness of a prayer, whatever it may be and in whatever form. Far better an illiterate man’s genuine, heartfelt prayer than a “cultured” man’s formal yet pretentious, judgmental, or absentminded prayer.

²  Notice…The bishop’s first encounter with the hermits is indicative of the manner in which he initially approached prayer and how he judged the ways in which other people connected with God. It was only after he saw the miracle of the three humble hermits walking across water—an echo of the Biblical miracle of Jesus walking on water—that he realized how much more pious and heartfelt their own illiterate or seemingly foolish prayers were. He noticed that he had been set in his ideas and had lacked the flexibility and humility to accept different—and, very likely, better—ways of praying.

²  Opportunities…Once the bishop realized that the hermits’ simple yet faithful prayer was obviously blessed and “right” in the eyes of God, he had the opportunity to change his own mentality and approach.

²  Within... The greatest lesson the bishop would ever give would be the one he accepted and taught himself through witnessing the humbling power of the hermits. He realized that he was wrong to have judged the hermits for their different methods. This inner realization unleashed within humility and the graciousness to admit that he was wrong, and that he was neither worthy nor needed to teach the hermits; that they, instead, had been his teachers. This was clearly a journey that would forever change him.

 “In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” –John Bunyan

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Improve Stress-Related Health Conditions with Mindfulness

 by Dr. Linda Miles

Do you have high blood pressure?

 Do you experience shallow or rapid breathing?

Do you have difficulty sleeping and/or do you feel fatigued during the day?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, I strongly encourage you to consider incorporating mindfulness into your life.

Meet Bart

Bart, a client of mine, was a forty-seven-year-old, straight-laced, and successful businessman with high blood pressure. After prescribing medication, Bart's physician referred him to me for stress management.

Bart's work life was full of pressing deadlines, challenges, and long hours. His personal life was even more stressful, as he was caring for aging parents, including his father who had Alzheimer’s. He was never off duty.

Bart had no safety valve to release his pent-up feelings. Years of holding in strong emotions had taken a toll on him. His stress hormones were playing havoc with his mind and body. Bart's fight-or-flight reaction put his system in overdrive and kept his motor racing.

This physiological response is designed to help us face a sudden need for extra energy. People like Bart, however, overuse their brain’s alarm system. While some stress hormones are helpful and may even save your life, the drip, drip, drip over time with no way to empty the build-up is hazardous to your health.

The gunning of Bart’s stress engine caused his pit crew of hormone chemicals—adrenaline and cortisol—from his adrenal glands, speeding up his heart rate, elevating his blood pressure, providing a surge of energy, and shooting up his blood sugar. Bart’s health suffered because his only forms of relaxation were overeating, drinking, and mindlessly watching TV.

Once Bart began practicing mindfulness, journal writing, and attending to his health, his symptoms dramatically improved. His brain's alarm system quieted down, his tension was lifted, and he felt more at peace.

Mindfulness and Stress-Related Health Symptoms

A study in Perspectives on Psychological Science identified four components of mindfulness that improve health:

Regulation of attention

Body awareness

Self-awareness

Relation of emotion

You, like Bart, can use these mindfulness components to support healing. Specifically, mindfulness can produce the following changes to your

physical

health:

Decrease your level of stress hormones

Change your brain structure so that you are less reactive

Enable you to sleep better

Lower your blood pressure

Support weight loss

Mindfulness also positively influences your

emotional

well-being. With regular mindfulness practice, you can expect to experience:

Higher levels of self-awareness and self-compassion

Reduced "volume" of your racing thoughts

Increased bodily awareness and ability to monitor your health

Better coping skills to deal with personal and professional pressures

Improved ability to release emotions in a positive, constructive way

Your Turn

Close your eyes and go to a beautiful place in your mind; maybe the beach, maybe the mountains. Just be there. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. Allow yourself to feel a deeper sense of relaxation. Take seven deep breaths and feel your diaphragm rise.

Now, picture yourself beside a large body of water. Look around your feet and notice small stones. Take a moment to put a stone in your left hand and a stone in your right. What problems do these stones represent? When you are clear about the problem in your left hand, throw the stone in the water to suggest that your brain found ways to let go. Repeat with second stone. Once you have thrown both stones, take deep breaths, letting go of tensions.

Next, think about the health of your parents and family members. What connections do you see between good physical and mental health, and positive behaviors toward one another? Identify those habits you might need to change in order to have a healthy and lasting love.

Draw the following four-column chart on a sheet of paper,  then fill in the blanks as each column relates to you.

Behavior

Health Effects

Harm to Health

Healthy Behaviors

As an example, here is how Bart might expand upon one of his key behaviors, the inability to calm down:

Behavior

Health Effects

Harm to Health

Healthy Behaviors

Inability to calm down·       Chronic tension·       High blood pressure·       Increased blood sugar·       Nervous tension·       Weight problems·       Sleep problems·       Possible heart attack·       Diabetes·       Mindfulness practice·       Express feelings injournal·       Aerobic exercise

Review what you have written down. Do you need to:

Practice mindfulness?

Change your lifestyle to one that is healthier?

See a doctor, or maybe a therapist?

Mindfulness is a powerful tool, and it can change your life for better. If you make and follow through on the commitment to practice it daily, it won't be long before you see the results in improved physical and emotional health.  

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Moving Past Despair by Embracing Everyday Miracles

by Dr. Linda Miles

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” –Seneca

Do you spend too much of your life trapped in the past or the future?

Are you able to hold the present moment before it slips through your fingers?

Do you experience gratitude for everyday indications that you are alive and well?

The Healing Awe of Nature

In her touching novel

The Snow Child

, Eowyn Ivey explores universal themes of love, loss, faith, and gratitude. She tells the poignant story of a middle-aged couple, Jack and Mabel, torn by their grief after losing a baby and despairing that they’ll never have a family. In a desperate desire for a fresh start, Jack and Mabel move to Alaska. The harsh yet exquisite beauty of the raw Alaskan wilderness inspires them to cherish moments as they rediscover the magnificence and everyday miracles of life.

In one of the book’s most quiet yet memorable scenes, Mabel pauses to appreciate a moment as she expresses her gratitude for life’s “miracles.” She likens “the present” to a snowflake, given its intangibility, temporary nature, and exceptional beauty.

“She could not fathom the hexagonal miracle of snowflakes formed from clouds, crystallized fern and feather that tumble down to light on a coat sleeve, white stars melting even as they strike. How did such force and beauty come to be in something so small and fleeting and unknowable? You did not have to understand miracles to believe in them, and in fact Mabel had come to suspect the opposite. To believe, perhaps you had to cease looking for explanations and instead hold the little thing in your hands as long as you were able before it slipped like water between your fingers.”

The tale follows the couple’s growth and re-connection as they rediscover the beauty of the world surrounding them, illuminating a powerful and stirring message of the power of mindfulness and faith. In the beginning of the story, Mabel is preoccupied by the past and by the loss of her child; her healing begins once she becomes aware of the intoxicating landscape that surrounds her—and of the appearance of a lovely fairy-like child who appears from the woods, apparently sculpted out of snow, and who reappears and disappears like memories do.

How Mabel Did It

Mabel fights and ultimately overcomes her grief by practicing mindfulness, albeit inadvertently, and by training her brain to see, hear, and sense everyday miracles. Her path towards healing and fulfillment parallels the points of our NOW acronym.

Notice. As Mabel began to notice the beauty of her surroundings in the present moment, she actively opened her mind to perceive the miracles of nature and life.

Opportunities. Mabel seized an opportunity to strengthen her character and heal her heart by opening her mind to the possibilities of the present moment, choosing consciously not to dwell on the past or to be tormented by the uncertainty of the future.

Within. In doing so, Mabel was able to go within herself to see how her past tragedy prevented life in the present.

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”                                                                           –Charles Dickens

The Path to Mindfulness

Your brain is what constructs your reality, based on the input from your senses. Sound waves and light waves, for instance, are converted into inner images and processed as experiences. If you are preoccupied by inner images from the past or of the future, you miss the sentient present. Although you think that your brain is providing you with a vision of an objective reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Neuroscientists have shown that we mold and decipher what we see according to our personal preconceived notions.

The good news? The brain constantly rewires itself—so you have the power to reframe and reshape your reality.

Through the practice of mindfulness, we can train our brains to consciously filter in everyday miracles through our senses—such as the sight of blooming flowers, the fragrance of the ocean, or the caress of the wind. The deliberate focus on the present moment through your senses signals to your brain that it can feel safe and grounded—and this in turn helps it secrete “happiness chemicals” like dopamine and endorphins.

Your Turn

One of the easiest and most effective ways to reconnect with life is simply to take a stroll through nature. But not just any sort of stroll. Not a preoccupied, walking-but-not-really-seeing-ahead-of-me stroll. A mindful stroll. A conscious, 100%-in-the-moment stroll.

Spend some time each day enjoying a mindful walk. Let your attention drop into your senses and absorb the abundance of sensations bombarding you. As you walk, notice what you see, hear, feel, and even taste. Instead of focusing on your racing or interrupting thoughts, deliberately choose to notice your present surroundings. Gently return to the details of the now.

Raindrops... sunlight... flowers... leaves... snowflakes... the feel of the ground beneath your feet... the sensation of your arms swinging as your walk... the feeling of the fresh air against your face.

These are the little things in life, which are truly the magnificent and big things. You will find that the more grateful you are, the more you will have to be grateful for. Open up your mind to the life around you. Take time to inwardly express gratitude for the miracles of nature. By practicing this faithfully, you will master the art of attuning your senses to pay attention to the present.

“We never know what is going to happen, do we? Life is always throwing us this way and that. That’s where the adventure is. Not knowing where you’ll end up or how you’ll fare. It’s all a mystery, and when we say any different, we’re just lying to ourselves. Tell me, when have you felt most alive?”                                                                           –The Snow Child

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Washing the Windows of your Mind’s Eye: Reversing Unhealthy and Destructive Habits with Mindfulness

Do you struggle with addiction?

Do you feel overwhelmed by destructive habits?

Do you wish that you could make healthier decisions?

In his internationally acclaimed novel A Room With a View, author E. M. Forster reveals this important outlook on identity through his heroine Lucy: that “home” is a place we carry within us, and that it is we who create the world around us through our own eyes:

“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won’t do harm—yes, choose a place where you won’t do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.”

It appears, then, that not only is home a place you carry within you, but that your issues and joys and ordeals are also things you carry in your inner world and magnify in your mind’s eye. Carl Jung defined our “shadow” as a long bag filled with unconscious issues that we drag behind us, causing harm and suffering to self and others until they are faced.

Bill W., who founded Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), consulted Dr. Jung for help with his out-of-control drinking before starting that organization. Through the work of Dr. Jung, Bill W. began to learn the power of facing his inner shadow by admitting, “I am an alcoholic.” AA emphasizes shining a light on the inner shadow with compassionate, non-judgmental awareness. Healing from addiction incorporates facing the ways you have harmed others, choosing a place where you won’t do very much harm, and standing for all you are worth, facing the light.

The shadow contains many kinds of addictions. I was on the road to a life-long food addiction until I faced the powerful forces in my shadow.

While context changes a situation, it is ultimately up to us to decide how we interpret and use this context. My own Scottish ancestors, for instance, survived the infamous Potato Famine. After living through the famine, they carried with them an appreciation and craving for foods that they had been deprived of during those difficult days. They’d allowed the famine to significantly affect their outlook on food, and they passed down this mentality to later generations. Their descendants were farmers who also experienced droughts and pests that endangered their food supplies; they could relate very strongly to that old mentality.

As a child—with a child’s malleable mind—I was fed these stories of hunger and was taught the value of food. Leaving food on a plate was sacrilege. Foods that my ancestors used to dream about—fried foods, vegetables prepared with bacon grease, and sweet tea loaded with syrupy sugar—were “precious,” not “unhealthy,” so, the more the better. My ancestors’ perceptions were handed down to me, and I stuck with those old beliefs even though they didn’t make sense in the new context. In my context, where food was plentiful and I had the privilege of choosing my meals and being educated about healthy nourishment, my body couldn’t burn off extra calories and instead stored them as excess fat.

My prevailing subconscious thoughts were that those unhealthy foods were valuable and demanded appreciation. It was challenging for me to become conscious of the misaligned messages that I’d received about food. To be healthy, however, I realized that I had to learn to realign my perspective and make healthier choices.

I began to incorporate the AND approach in my attitude towards food:

Awareness: I first had to become aware of the unhealthy messages I was receiving about food. If I maintained the mindset of my starving ancestors (“eat as much as possible while and whenever you can—because you’ll very rarely get this chance—and eat fatty foods to sustain yourself for longer”), I would be killing myself instead of saving myself. Instead of putting some meat on my bones, I’d be at risk for obesity, heart disease, cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar spikes, acne, insulin resistance, and a heap of other life-threatening problems.

Notice. I had to notice how I felt in these situations. When I ate or over-ate unhealthy foods, I noted how my body negatively reacted. When I began to follow a more healthy diet and regimen, I was energized and began to pay close attention to what my body was telling me.

Decide. The third and final step of the process is about consciously deciding to develop different habits. You understand the need and thus you decide to change. Each day unravels as a series of choices to incorporate healthier habits and behaviors that will eventually streamline into a new and better lifestyle.

When you are grappling with an addiction or a destructive behavior, just remember to take a step back and explore the issue. Note—without judgement—what is really going on and where this mentality is coming from. Figure out why this lifestyle harms instead of helps you, and seek out a better alternative. Discover what the best solution is and work towards that. Decide to make those new habits a new lifestyle. Remember that you are in charge of your life's direction.

Ask yourself:

What do I believe about this habit/behavior? What is my mentality?

When did I first learn this? Who taught me? What was the backstory?

How does their story align with mine? How do the contexts differ? Is this something that doesn’t align or make sense anymore?

How could I rewrite this story/mentality to benefit me? What habits would I change? What changes would come of this?

Incorporate these changes and notice the difference. How does the new behavior make you feel? Does it make sense? You should be able to see the purpose and potential of this. Will this help? I promise that it will. Immensely.

It helped me transform my outlook and my habits—and thus my life. I realized what translated as “survival” for my ancestors didn’t equate to “survival” for me. (In fact, it meant the opposite!) Like Lucy in

A Room With a View

, I realized that I’d have to pick up the pen and write out my own destiny—or else others would write it for me. I learned what “survival” and “health” and “well-being” meant for me, personally, and then that’s what I pursued. My new habits became a lifestyle.

By keeping me healthy, my body thanks me for those choices.

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The Sensation of Living in the Now by Dr. Linda Miles

Do you frequently stress about yesterday and worry about tomorrow? Are you afraid that you’ll run out of time or that you’re somehow missing out on life? Have you ever stopped to register how your entire body is feeling? When was the last time you were consciously grateful to be alive?

In their inspirational book, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, writer Philip Yancy and surgeon Dr. Paul Brand explore the fascinating world of the human body and spirit, examining “the miracle of skin, the strength and structure of the bones, [and] the dynamic balance of muscles.” Dr. Brand reflects on his time spent with people suffering from leprosy, revealing how that experience altered his life by making him appreciate the function of the human skin and its ability to feel sensations. Leprosy is a condition that causes granulomas of the nerves, respiratory tract, eyes, and skin; it results in a person’s inability to feel. Apart from the skin lesions and damage due to the disease itself, lepers are typically covered with sores that are caused when they sit on something hard or when they lean on sharp objects. Wounds and infections can result in tissue loss and deformation, numbed and diseased skin, and permanent damage to the nerves, limbs, and eyes.

We often take the gift of our five senses for granted. Yet just stop a moment and imagine having no feeling in your skin to warn you of extreme heat, sharp objects, or dangerous situations. Dr. Brand imagined this frequently. Although leprosy can be treated, it is contagious via nasal droplets; the doctor often wondered if he would wake up with the numbing symptoms. It changed his outlook and made him intensely grateful for his life and for the world around him.

I have had the privilege of working with a group of terminally ill cancer patients. What floored me was their vibrancy, their joie de vivre; they took such delight in every moment because they knew that their lives would soon end. If we thought that we were going to wake up tomorrow and not be able to see, feel, smell, or hear, then we would cherish everything that our senses could drink in.

So try that. Live the day like it’s your last. Take a moment and just look around you, see what draws your attention and what pleases your eyes. Allow your attention to focus on that someone or something for 30 seconds. Of course other thoughts will enter your mind meanwhile. Notice them, acknowledge them, but don’t let them distract you from your object. You may notice a greater sense of relaxation and calm as you immerse yourself in the experience of the present moment.

If you’ve never tried this before — or if you’re looking for a different method to practice mindfulness more effectively — the “body scan” is an excellent technique to get in touch with your senses on a daily basis and monitor how you’re doing and feeling.

The Body Scan Technique

Sit or lie down, and take three deep breaths. Mentally count each inhalation/exhalation.

Focus on your body for a few moments. Notice where you feel tension, pressure, or tightness. Simply allow your attention to scan through your body, as if you’re taking an X-ray. Become aware of all the sensations.

Remind yourself that the intention of this practice is to focus on bodily sensations and to notice what happens. Watch without judgment. Observe the sensations of the present moment.

Let yourself be curious about the sensations in your body and the places where you’ve been unconsciously tense and pressured all this time. How strong are the sensations? How tight is the pressure? Is there throbbing? What parts of your body are in need of attention and healing? Remember—it is essential to be kind and objective during your self-diagnosis.

Re-scan your body more selectively and thoroughly. Begin with your head. Notice any pressure or tension. Drop your awareness to your neck and shoulders. Then your chest—often a place where a lot of tension brews. Next let your focus shift to your abdomen, your belly, and your back. Shift your attention down to your legs, moving further down till you reach the soles of your feet and the tips of your toes.

Meanwhile, stretch each muscle as you go — and, as you visualize the knots loosening, imagine that this is due to the healing energy you are sending through your body. Repeat the mantra of loving kindness mentally or out loud: May you be healed. May you be at peace. May you be filled with loving kindness.

Repeat as needed throughout the day. Cherish your body and send oxygen, intention healing, and loving compassion to all the areas that need to relax.

Remember that there is no one right way to do this. You’ll do what feels right for you. The purpose of this exercise is simply to divert your attention into your body and to observe inner sensations with curiosity, openness, and gratitude. Just remember to stay centered and focused on the feelings and sensations. You can do body scans many times throughout the day, reminding your body that you don’t need to hold onto negative thoughts or toxic emotions. You can mindfully and gently release tension and start afresh.

Pema Chodron is among those who take mindfulness one step further. She is an American-born Tibetan Buddhist, ordained nun, and author. She strongly advocates the Buddhist meditation practice called

Tonglen

, which is Tibetan for “sending and receiving.” This technique is about visualizing taking in suffering — one’s personal suffering and/or the suffering of others—with each inhaling breath, and giving out acknowledgment, compassion, solidarity, and aid during each exhaling breath.

This technique has been shown to cultivate mind patterns which promote an attitude of love and self-sacrifice, where you can exchange pain for love and happiness. In practice, it can increase your own peace of mind, and thereby spread more harmony and happiness to your surroundings.

“There is only one time that is important: now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.”                                                                           –Leo Tolstoy

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Mental Suicide: The Danger of Grudges and How to Let Go by Dr. Linda Miles

Do you struggle to forgive yourself or others? Are you overwhelmed by anger, bitterness, or toxic emotions? Do you feel unable to think positively about a person or a situation which you consider unforgivable? Are there many things you consider unforgivable?In Harper Lee’s internationally acclaimed novel,

To Kill a Mockingbird, the author transports us to the heart of the American South during the 1930s. Lee introduces us to her female protagonist, an adventurous girl named Scout. There’s a scene where Scout is fighting other children because they are ridiculing her father, Atticus Finch. Atticus is a soft-spoken, whip-smart attorney who has shouldered a difficult case, defending a black man in court. Atticus isn’t proud of his daughter’s brawl, and advises her accordingly: “You just hold your head up high and keep those fists down... No matter what anybody says to you, don’t let ‘em get your goat. Try fighting with your head for a change.”

Atticus is teaching two things: (1) forgiveness, a medicine that is even more potent for the forgiver than the forgiven, and (2) clear-headed logic, which enables Scout to step back and see the big picture, to assess the intensity and importance of a situation, to pick her battles, and to let go of that what weighs her down.

In his way, Atticus encourages mindfulness. Without practicing conscious thought, we don’t realize how our unconscious brain actually stores maladaptive experiences—purely with good intentions, since our brain seeks to protect us—and lashes out with defensive thoughts against others or even ourselves. In essence, though, these backstories backfire; “the hysterical is historical” you could say, because a reaction that is much stronger than the infraction is a reaction that emerges from past conditioning.

For instance, if you’re sitting in a staff meeting and can’t stop mentally attacking a coworker whom you hardly know, examine why your reaction is so strong. Often it is because you are reminded of a maladaptive pattern or person from your past (and this may have absolutely nothing to do with the present situation). When you bring those thoughts into the light of consciousness, you have a choice of what to think. You can decide to decrease the attacking thoughts which are generating an overdose of stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, making you tense and unhappy. Carl Jung referred to these unconscious patterns as our “shadow”—fragmented parts of ourselves that live outside of awareness—and recommended that we shine a light on our shadow instead of projecting it on other around us. Mindfulness aids in this process.

You know how awful it feels after you get riled up, after the heat of your unchecked anger simmers down to become a cold lump of resentment. This can happen even after merely directing toxic thoughts against someone else; you don't even need to speak your grudge to feel these effects! If you just stop to think about it, staying bitter doesn’t hurt anyone else more than it hurts you. The negativity and anger brims and boils within you, destroying you. Holding onto these emotions is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.

“Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me. It’s saying, You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.”                                                                           –Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller

Like Scout, there are many people who are plagued by anger, a sense of injustice, and other negative emotions. Of course you must stand up for what is right, of course you should act upon your honor and integrity, and of course you are not supposed to swallow all the wrongs of the world. But, like Atticus, you must know that there is a better way. This way is more peaceful yet more effective in the long-term. The way of calm reassessment, of logic and love powerful enough to be reckoned with. The way that keeps your blood level and heart rate and stress chemicals in check, and keeps you happy and alive for longer.

Mindfulness helps children like Scout hold their head up high, their fists down, and to keep others away from “getting their goat.” They learn to use their head to handle disputes. The Journal for Family (2013) reported that in a study of 400 children, mindfulness training resulted in significant increases in the students’ attention, self-control, classroom participation, and respect for others. Consequently, there’s been further interest in using mindfulness as an educational tactic. The UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center found improvements in the self-regulatory abilities of preschoolers and elementary school students after they participated in just eight weeks of mindfulness training—and children who initially were most challenged by self-regulation showed the strongest improvements!

Although it is ideal to begin this practice at a young age, it is never too late to begin to strengthen your inborn capability to self-regulate. Your brain retains its plasticity for a lifetime; you need never stop growing and learning. It is never too late to heed the advice of Atticus Finch by refusing to allow others to “get your goat.”

The mindful practice of noticing our thoughts is what increases our awareness of how we react based on past hurts and resentments. It decreases our stress levels, enables us to think more clearly, to consider the consequences, and to fathom and accept someone else’s point of view. Forgiveness is the next step—the release of those hurts and resentments, and the catharsis that ensues from this.

Try This

Next time you find yourself in a situation that causes you toxic feelings:

Visualize your muscles as knots.

Drop your attention into your body and assess how you are holding your muscles.

Imagine that you find these knots and you are loosening them. You are letting go of stress.

Shift your awareness to the attacking thoughts and focus on a compassionate mantra, a kindness meditation:             May I be healed. May I be at peace. May I be filled with loving kindness.

You'll probably be feeling extremely tense when you begin this exercise. Your body might, in fact, even be physically hurting or uncomfortable from the amount of pressure you’re putting on it. These bodily sensations can be a signal that you may act reactively instead of proactively.

Make it your practice to allow a few minutes during each day, even when you're feeling fine, to check in with your bodily sensation.

It is also helpful to keep a mood chart on your calendar. Simply draw

upward

arrows for times you feel good,

sideward

arrows when you feel numb, and

downward

arrows when you are experiencing negative emotions. Over time, you can go back and shine a light on your patterns during the week and ask yourself:

What sets me off?

What grudges or grievances am I holding on to?

What behaviors do I need to forgive and let go in myself and others?

Remember to use our NOW acronym as a guide:

NOTICE what you are thinking and feeling.

View interpersonal challenges as an OPPORTUNITY to be better and not bitter.

Go WITHIN yourself to shine a light on your shadow side.

While it may take time to face your shadow and let go of toxic thoughts, these steps will prime your brain to think in new and better ways, help you respond rather than react, and enhance your well-being.

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Freedom from Mental Captivity: Lessons from a Concentration Camp Prisoner by Dr. Linda Miles

Do you find that your thoughts make you more anxious and depressed? Do you have trouble quieting your mind and falling asleep? Is it difficult for you to control your negative emotions?

They Imprisoned His Body But His Mind Remained Free

World-renowned author and psychotherapist Viktor Frankl was a concentration camp prisoner during WWII. He tells his story within the pages of his aptly-titled book,

Man’s Search for Meaning

, along with some truly grounding insight. He is not alone—there are many men and women who have emerged from a personal living Hell with their humanity preserved—and yet he speaks up to emphasize a very important message:

you must guard your inner life

.

No one can make you a prisoner of your own mind unless you let them. You have the power to rewire your brain and choose the alchemy of your own brain chemicals.

Despite the degradation, deprivation, and nightmarish misery of the Nazi concentration camp, Frankl clung to his one and most important freedom—the freedom to control his inner life. He realized that, though the Nazis could subjugate him and his fellow prisoners, though they could beat him until his bones cracked and his body numbed, though they could starve him and unclothe him and physically mutilate him, no one could enter his mind without his consent. They could not dehumanize his inner existence. They had no ownership over his mind, heart, or soul.

Frankl made a decision, consciously, to focus on the love he felt for his beloved wife:

“We stumbled on in the darkness, over big stones and three large puddles, along the one road running through the camp. The accompanying guards kept shouting at us and driving us with the butts of their rifles. Hardly a word was spoken; the icy wind did not encourage talk […] My mind clung to my wife’s image, imagining it with uncanny acuteness […] I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world may still know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when a man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings the right way—an honorable way […] can, through loving contemplation of the image he carried of his beloved, achieve fulfillment.”

What We Can Learn from Viktor Frankl's Brave Example

There may come an instant in your life when things appear to have gone horribly, horribly wrong. That is life though; without the downs, it’d be impossible to genuinely appreciate the ups—such is human nature. The human range of emotion is spectacular in its extent—if you stop to think about it, it’s fascinating that we have the capacity and capability to reach the depths of despair, the heights of ecstasy, the warmth of bliss, the chill of terror, the serenity of peace, and all those myriads of feelings in between.

When times are tough, remember our NOW acronym:

NOTICE.  Look around and you’ll find hundreds of living, breathing examples (and countless more, before our time) of inspirational people who transcend circumstances. They say that a person’s sufferings are what make or break them—because those are the moment when choices are made.

OPPORTUNITY.  Challenges can be impediments or stepping stones, depending on your perspective. These are the times when people decide to either fall and fester or fight and flourish. Look at your life and think about the lessons you have learned through hardships. Do you hold an "obstacle" or "opportunity" mindset? Do you choose to become bitter or better?

WITHIN.  Although Nazi captors controlled every aspect of his outer life, Frankl maintained control of his inner life and thought process. He chose to focus his mind on love. How consciously that choice is made depends on the person, and therein lies the power. Realize that no one's inner world can be altered without their consent. What is happening within YOUR inner world?

The Path of Mindfulness

Exile. Abuse. Wars. Toxic relationships. Disaster wreckages. Prisons. Torture chambers. There are people who get out alive—and they all have something in common. They have a burning desire to survive.

It works because they have aligned themselves with a purpose greater than themselves. Always this is an extremely deep emotion—the desire to return to a loved one, the need to persevere for a better life, the yearning to break free and prove to yourself and to everyone else that you can. There is something beautiful and positive inside these survivors that burns so brightly, so fiercely, that they can’t choose to give up. The strongest and most long-lasting of these emotions? The most positive, enduring, powerful quality of all time: love.

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”                                                                           –Joshua Graham

Mindfulness is a practice that circles back to love. It’s about filtering through the thoughts in our mind and focusing on what we ultimately wish to keep. Our brain is an incredible memory bank, storing positive and negative thoughts. These thoughts have immense power, since they literally affect our body’s chemistry. By focusing on negative thoughts or caustic memories, our body generates cortisol and adrenaline—stress signals that cause tension, anxiety, and super vigilance. These chemicals are essential for short-term fight-or-flight scenarios, but are detrimental—even lethal—when experienced constantly for a long period of time. Focusing on loving thoughts, on the other hand, releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin which help us feel mellow, centered, and happy. Such chemicals enable people like Frankl to survive horrific conditions; he had the presence of mind to preserve his strength and will to live, and his purpose and love were the fuel that kept him alive.

You, Too, Can Influence the Release of Hormones Related to Stress and Calm!

Mindfulness is something you can do anytime, anywhere. It only takes a moment. With the following technique, you will instantly discover how your thoughts alter your body chemistry, and the power you have to control all of this.

Close your eyes and recall a time you had a very negative interaction with another person. Look back and really live this memory again, and let yourself feel those distressing emotions. Now open your eyes. How do you feel? Most people report an automatic reaction of increased tension; it’s obvious from their clenched teeth or hands, a pressure in their chest or stomach, and increased muscle tightness. If you feel this, it means your body has just unleashed a surge of adrenaline and cortisol.

Now close your eyes and recall a time when you felt very close to someone, very loved and cherished. Think about how serene and blissful you felt. Perhaps this is your favorite memory. Now open your eyes and notice how you feel. See the difference? Most people express greater feelings of relaxation, safety, and peacefulness. If you feel these things, it means your body has secreted oxytocin and dopamine.

Knowing this, you can master the technique so as to always center yourself and protect your well-being and inner world. During challenging times, you can remember the details of a loving memory and deliberately prompt your body to create positive chemicals that will enhance your calm state of being and your clarity of thought. By doing this, and refraining from nasty thoughts, you are not just being kind to others, you are foremost being kind to yourself and your own health.

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”                                                                           –William James

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Moving Past Despair by Embracing Everyday Miracles by Dr. Linda Miles

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” –Seneca

Do you spend too much of your life trapped in the past or the future?

Are you able to hold the present moment before it slips through your fingers?

Do you experience gratitude for everyday indications that you are alive and well?

The Healing Awe of Nature

In her touching novel

The Snow Child

, Eowyn Ivey explores universal themes of love, loss, faith, and gratitude. She tells the poignant story of a middle-aged couple, Jack and Mabel, torn by their grief after losing a baby and despairing that they’ll never have a family. In a desperate desire for a fresh start, Jack and Mabel move to Alaska. The harsh yet exquisite beauty of the raw Alaskan wilderness inspires them to cherish moments as they rediscover the magnificence and everyday miracles of life.

In one of the book’s most quiet yet memorable scenes, Mabel pauses to appreciate a moment as she expresses her gratitude for life’s “miracles.” She likens “the present” to a snowflake, given its intangibility, temporary nature, and exceptional beauty.

“She could not fathom the hexagonal miracle of snowflakes formed from clouds, crystallized fern and feather that tumble down to light on a coat sleeve, white stars melting even as they strike. How did such force and beauty come to be in something so small and fleeting and unknowable? You did not have to understand miracles to believe in them, and in fact Mabel had come to suspect the opposite. To believe, perhaps you had to cease looking for explanations and instead hold the little thing in your hands as long as you were able before it slipped like water between your fingers.”

The tale follows the couple’s growth and re-connection as they rediscover the beauty of the world surrounding them, illuminating a powerful and stirring message of the power of mindfulness and faith. In the beginning of the story, Mabel is preoccupied by the past and by the loss of her child; her healing begins once she becomes aware of the intoxicating landscape that surrounds her—and of the appearance of a lovely fairy-like child who appears from the woods, apparently sculpted out of snow, and who reappears and disappears like memories do.

How Mabel Did It

Mabel fights and ultimately overcomes her grief by practicing mindfulness, albeit inadvertently, and by training her brain to see, hear, and sense everyday miracles. Her path towards healing and fulfillment parallels the points of our NOW acronym.

Notice. As Mabel began to notice the beauty of her surroundings in the present moment, she actively opened her mind to perceive the miracles of nature and life.

Opportunities. Mabel seized an opportunity to strengthen her character and heal her heart by opening her mind to the possibilities of the present moment, choosing consciously not to dwell on the past or to be tormented by the uncertainty of the future.

Within. In doing so, Mabel was able to go within herself to see how her past tragedy prevented life in the present.

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”                                                                           –Charles Dickens

The Path to Mindfulness

Your brain is what constructs your reality, based on the input from your senses. Sound waves and light waves, for instance, are converted into inner images and processed as experiences. If you are preoccupied by inner images from the past or of the future, you miss the sentient present. Although you think that your brain is providing you with a vision of an objective reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Neuroscientists have shown that we mold and decipher what we see according to our personal preconceived notions.

The good news? The brain constantly rewires itself—so you have the power to reframe and reshape your reality.

Through the practice of mindfulness, we can train our brains to consciously filter in everyday miracles through our senses—such as the sight of blooming flowers, the fragrance of the ocean, or the caress of the wind. The deliberate focus on the present moment through your senses signals to your brain that it can feel safe and grounded—and this in turn helps it secrete “happiness chemicals” like dopamine and endorphins.

Your Turn

One of the easiest and most effective ways to reconnect with life is simply to take a stroll through nature. But not just any sort of stroll. Not a preoccupied, walking-but-not-really-seeing-ahead-of-me stroll. A mindful stroll. A conscious, 100%-in-the-moment stroll.

Spend some time each day enjoying a mindful walk. Let your attention drop into your senses and absorb the abundance of sensations bombarding you. As you walk, notice what you see, hear, feel, and even taste. Instead of focusing on your racing or interrupting thoughts, deliberately choose to notice your present surroundings. Gently return to the details of the now.

Raindrops... sunlight... flowers... leaves... snowflakes... the feel of the ground beneath your feet... the sensation of your arms swinging as your walk... the feeling of the fresh air against your face.

These are the little things in life, which are truly the magnificent and big things. You will find that the more grateful you are, the more you will have to be grateful for. Open up your mind to the life around you. Take time to inwardly express gratitude for the miracles of nature. By practicing this faithfully, you will master the art of attuning your senses to pay attention to the present.

“We never know what is going to happen, do we? Life is always throwing us this way and that. That’s where the adventure is. Not knowing where you’ll end up or how you’ll fare. It’s all a mystery, and when we say any different, we’re just lying to ourselves. Tell me, when have you felt most alive?”                                                                           –The Snow Child

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Labeling Thoughts to Enable Clear Thinking By Dr. Linda Miles

Do you beat yourself up when you fail at something?

Does fear stop you from trying again once you’ve already failed?

Do you suffer from the self-abuse of harsh self-judgment?

“Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.”–Anonymous

Maya Angelou wrote an essay about the day she lost her first job at sixteen years old. She describes the way she dressed up and landed a job at a fast food restaurant. Unfortunately, her tenure was short-lived; after a brief stint, she was fired. Her mother returned home that day to find Maya on her bed, crying hysterically. Once she’d understood what had happened, her mother countered Maya’s tears with her own tough love encouragement:

“Fired? Fired? What the hell is that? Nothing. Tomorrow you’ll go looking for another job. That’s all.”

Maya’s mother handled the situation brilliantly by offering Maya a different point of view. She pointed out that “fired” is just a word. Words are merely words, and they have no power but that which we give to them. Maya couldn’t see past the word “fired” until her mother taught her to step back and look beyond it—and then to go back out and look for another job.

A word is bundled within a thick layering of assumptions. By noticing what words we focus on—and guiding ourselves to see this with compassionate, nonjudgmental awareness—we can step back and study our assumptions. We can strip them away to reveal the essence of a situation. That is the most effective way of dealing with stress. This is called mindfulness.

Research shows that those who deal best with stress are characterized by a trait that can be universally cultivated:

resilience

. These people do not marinate in negative words and harsh judgment. Philippe Goldin, director of the Clinically Applied Affective Neuroscience Project in the Department of Psychology at Stanford University, works with people who suffer from a constant onslaught of negative thoughts and emotions.

Goldin’s research reveals that mindfulness meditation greatly affects the way in which the brain responds to negative thoughts. After merely eight weeks of mindfulness training, the participants show significantly increased activity in the brain network associated with processing information when they reflect on negative self-inflicted statements. By paying more attention to the words they say to themselves—and effectively dealing with their reactions to them—they report far less worry and anxiety.

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”–Maya Angelou

According to Goldin, mindfulness teaches people how to handle distressing thoughts. By labeling thoughts without judgment, we are able to detach from distressing emotions and see the bigger picture with a clearer mind. Brain scans indicate that the ability to witness thoughts without self-judgment leads to long-term positive changes in the brain—even as little as ten minutes a day of mindful meditation has shown immense benefits!

Just like Maya Angelou, we can learn to use the NOW methodology to give ourselves the breathing space we need to assess a situation and make our next move:

NOTICE. With her mother’s encouragement, Maya became aware of the harsh connotations she personally applied to words like “fired” and “failure,” and the self-judgment and criticism that erupted from these.

OPPORTUNITIES. She then recognized the opportunity to rewrite the way she spoke to herself. If we stop to think about it, most of us would immediately realize that our self-talk is extremely negative and critical; we tend to speak to ourselves in a manner that we’d never use with a friend! We are empathetic, compassionate, considerate, and soothing with others, yet we fail to nurture our own selves with these qualities.

WITHIN. By noticing her inner dialogue, Maya seized the chance to change her thinking and, subsequently, her choices. And this works because our outward behavior always projects, to some level, our inner thought. If we want to create any sort of change, we must begin from within.

Neuroscientist Wayne Drevets observes that, in the brain, practice makes permanent. Thus, the more often you practice non-judgmental analysis of and detachment from your own thoughts, the stronger the ensuing connections in your brain. Noting and removing judgmental labels enables you to take positive action.

Pay attention to your present thoughts. Allow your thoughts to float around in your mind. Understand that your thoughts and emotions are ephemeral. They will come and go and will always pass through; they need not define you.

Take a moment to frame a negative thought. Visualize it however you want, but place it inside something: a bubble (like in the cartoons), a boat, or a box.

Label the thought for what it is. Is it an overgeneralization? An overreaction? A very harsh critique? A fear that stems from a past failure? Something else?

Detach yourself from labeled thought. You see that the thought is not YOU. Let go of the box, the boat, or the bubble. Mentally watch that thought float away from you. Let it go.

Like Maya, we need to look out for and label the moments when we overgeneralize. She initially thought of being fired as a permanent label instead of a temporary situation and a learning experience. It is important to observe negative thoughts, as this helps us begin to question the validity of these “all or nothing” labels. Instead of dramatically criticizing yourself and overgeneralizing a situation—“I’m a failure” or “I’m stupid”—learn to step back and see the situation for what it really is: “I failed at this, but I’ll try harder next time to succeed; just the mere fact that I’m not giving up makes me anything but a failure.” or “I may have acted stupidly in this situation, but this doesn’t make me a stupid person; I have learned how to improve my response next time this happens.”

Remember, regardless of the scenario, there are only two possible outcomes: sometimes you’ll win ; sometimes you’ll learn

. Coach yourself in this mentality; first be mindful of what you think, and you will then be able to master your actions and reactions.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts; your thoughts become your words; your words become your actions; your actions become your habits; your habits become your values; your values become your destiny.”–Mahatma Gandhi

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Change Your Life with Mindfulness By Dr. Linda Miles

Welcome to Mindfulness Rewrites,our blog which is focused on helping others achieve mindfulness in everyday life. I'm

Linda Miles, Ph.D., and I've been a mindfulness practitioner for over 30 years. I use mindfulness in my personal life, as well as in my profession as a marriage and family therapist.

You may have found this blog because you heard about mindfulness and want to learn more about it. Or perhaps you stumbled upon it while looking for ways to cope with illness, addiction, stress, negative emotions, or other personal challenges. Either way, we’re glad you’re here!

Peace, joy, and gratitude – feelings we all wish for, but which can be hard to come by in our busy world. When we’re bombarded with our own negative thoughts, we may find ourselves in a self-made prison of blame and judgments that prevents us from relishing the good in our lives. Please take a moment to consider the following questions:

Are you dealing with a medical condition?

Are you overwhelmed by situations at home or at work?

Do you find yourself focusing on the negative?

Do you frequently obsess over the past?

Do you anger quickly and/or say things you later regret?

Do you let minor hassles ruin your day?

Are you having trouble interacting with a difficult person in your life?

Do you worry too much?

Have you lost your joy in life?

Do you rely on alcohol or drugs to socialize with others, calm down, and/or “escape”?

Do you suffer from depression, panic, or anxiety?

Do you wish that you were better at living "in the moment"?

Do you feel as if life is passing you by?

Chances are, like most of us, you’ve answered “yes” to at least one of these questions. Fortunately, mindfulness can help!

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a scientific approach to acceptance and inner peace that was extensively studied by John Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. at the University of Massachusetts. He defines mindfulness as paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment non-judgmentally.

Kabat-Zinn's research examined mindfulness as a way to reduce suffering for patients with medical illnesses, and to help people deal with day-to-day life challenges. His work has contributed to a growing movement of mindfulness in areas of medicine, psychology, healthcare, neuroscience, education, corporations, prisons, government, and professional sports.

The Science of Mindfulness

Happiness has a biological basis, and research shows that we can take steps toward creating a positive and healthy mental space, despite the stresses of living in a demanding, technology-driven existence.

By actively exercising kindness and appreciation, we can promote the brain’s natural production of oxytocin and dopamine— two chemicals that help us feel pleasure and well-being, while decreasing the secretion of adrenaline and cortisol, which make us feel agitation and stress.

Mindfulness Can Be Learned

As neuroscientist Dr. Wayne Drevets attests, “In the brain, practice makes permanent.”

This is great news! While you may need to work at it at first, mindfulness will come more easily and naturally to you over time – and you will quickly learn that the benefits are well worth the effort. Focusing on simple pleasures and the present moment helps us get out of our own heads and into the world around us. This, in turn allows us to enjoy an increased awareness and connectivity to the blessings and positivity in our lives.

Join Us On Our Journey

As the blog progresses, we will provide specific examples of how mindfulness can be practiced, and ways in which it can influence positive outcomes in everyday situations.

We hope that you will visit the site regularly, or – better yet – subscribe to be notified as new postings are added. Thank you for your interest in Mindfulness Rewrites.

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Treasures of the Moment: Mindfulness and Gratitude During the Holidays

As you approach the holidays, are you able to pause often and give thanks for small wonders all around you? Or, are you so preoccupied by the pressure and stress of the holidays that you feel more like a human doing than a human being? Do you dread being with certain dysfunctional family members over the holidays, and do you allow those feelings to overshadow your plans for celebration?

If stress, anxiety, and worry interfere with your feelings of gratitude, the holidays offer many opportunities to practice gratitude for the gifts of the present moment.

Thornton Wilder wrote, "

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures

."

Mindfulness practice can help us to be aware of our "treasures," and prepare for the holidays while maintaining a conscious intention to practice gratitude and giving.

Mindfulness Rewrites

Instead of falling into the routine of seeing the holidays as a time of stress, seize this time of year to make positive changes in your life that will only bring you more joy throughout the season and into the new year. Consciously decide to rewrite your thoughts and train your brain so that you can enjoy and celebrate with gratitude, every day.

Robert Emmons is a an expert scientist who studies gratitude. His research is one example of a myriad of evidence showing the benefits of being fully conscious of our treasures by practicing gratitude. His work has shown that a practice of gratitude provides the following benefits:

Increased life satisfaction

Increased happiness and joy

Strengthened immune system

Improved the quality of sleep

Increased resilience in general

Gratitude is good for the whole family as well. Studies have shown that when children, preteens, and teens practice gratitude they have more positive emotions and feel more connected to others.

Practice

During the holidays, many people in my private practice experience a sense of dread about family gatherings. One young wife named Hillary described how the constant bickering of her in-laws overshadowed her gratitude and celebration during past family gatherings. We made a plan for how she could use mindfulness to focus on gratitude for the blessings around her this season. She made a habit of writing the word "NOW" as a reminder to shift her focus away from bickering and back toward the treasures of the present moment. Here's how we consciously attributed meaning to each letter of the word:

"N" stands for NOTICE. Hillary set an intention to notice sights, smells, and textures all around her that she was grateful for. She noticed the sight of fall flowers, the smell of cinnamon, the texture of her child’s hand in hers.

"O" stands for OPPORTUNITY. Hillary set an intention to look for opportunities for gratitude. She deliberately planned to repeat to herself often, I thank God for joy and love and miracles..

"W" stands for WITHIN. Hillary realized that she was allowing her in-laws' behavior to overrule her inner peace, so we decided she would take time for walks, pay attention to her breathing, and attend to her inner well-being. She practiced dropping within herself to focus on breathing and thinking the word "be" on the in breath and "calm" on the out breath to help her remain centered.

So how can you increase your focus on gratitude during this holiday season?

Avoid being judgmental toward yourself and others. We all have our struggles, but begin to train your brain to notice the struggles and move back towards gratitude.

Ask your children to tell you three good things that happened during the day, or start a ritual with your spouse before you go to bed, of telling each other at least one thing that you appreciated about them during the day.

Imagine your life without your partner as a way to focus on the blessings of their presence.

Keep a gratitude journal. The holidays are a great time to begin a journal. There is a user-friendly outline for a gratitude journal online at Thnx4.org

Mindfulness and gratitude are a practice, and they take some work, so expect setbacks. When caught up in the stress and demands of the holidays, you'll find yourself needing to consciously bring your mind back to gratitude. Use the setbacks as opportunities to notice the ways that you wear yourself down with negativity and instead remind yourself of the positive.

#seasonal topics #gratitude

[drlindamilesblogs-blog]

How Mindfulness Helped Me Through a Health Crisis

Even though I'd been practicing mindfulness for many years prior to my illness, its power became especially clear to me 15 years ago, when I was struck with a virulent strain of pneumonia. As I waited for yet another daily chest x-ray during my seventh day in the hospital, I knew I was dying. My husband is a doctor, and although he couldn’t bring himself to tell me the prognosis, I could read the signs. I felt my consciousness fading as my body began shutting down. I also overheard a conversation among the medical professionals working on me about my kidney failure, lack of oxygen, and the alarming blood work results they had just received. Although my body was crashing, I felt a sense of inner peace and gratitude for my life. Fortunately, I was only 51 years old and had maintained good health prior to this point. It was a long struggle, but I eventually recovered. Despite the medical crisis, I maintained a mental state of inner peace and calmness during most of my illness. Using a practice of mindfulness, I was able to accept the seriousness of my illness while finding the strength to overcome it. My practice of mindfulness prepared me to accept what was real in the present moment and refrain from comparing myself to those who were healthy and productive. I learned that when I compared myself to people who I had set up as the "ideal," I rejected myself. I believe that my practice helped save my life because I avoided situational anxiety and instead was able to concentrate on healing. While I was able to accept my state with calmness, do not confuse acceptance with giving up. It is often the opposite. My acceptance of my infirmity saved my energy so I could meet my situation head-on. As John Kabat-Zinn writes, "You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf.” During my illness, I could have watched my condition deteriorate. I could have told myself powerful stories about impending death or attacked myself for my weakness. However, I didn’t dwell on the worst possible outcome because I knew from mindfulness training that these worst-case scenarios were merely movies in my mind. These negative movies were damaging and would only increase my anxiety, which would lead to elevated blood pressure, rapid breathing, and secretion of the chemicals adrenaline and cortisol that would put my body into a state of alert. I was already on oxygen and needed several visits a day from a respiratory therapist just to survive, so more rapid respiration and stress would have only further harmed me. As my body was fighting for survival, I chose to focus my energy on healing using positive and loving thoughts. I deliberately asked about the lives of my caretakers and worked at connecting with others in a conscious way. I thought about my family and friends with appreciation and loving-kindness, and these thoughts triggered the secretion of dopamine and oxytocin, which are both calming and healing chemicals. I was not thinking clearly enough to question WHY I was connecting and focusing on thoughts of loving-kindness —- the thoughts and behaviors were simply an automatic response to threat based on my years of practice of mindfulness. Although my established daily practice of mindfulness had previously been under far less dire circumstances, it prepared well me for my health crisis. Using mindfulness daily in my work and personal life had a cumulative effect. As Dr. Wayne Drevets, a neuroscientist, writes, “In the brain, practice makes permanent.” So, in addition to the benefits mindfulness produces in the here-and-now, it will also equip you to overcome bigger challenges you might face in the future.

#health

[drlindamilesblogs-blog]

Train Tracks in the Mind: Reversing Negative Thinking With Mindfulness

When you make mistakes, do you speak to yourself with harsh words and judgments?

Do you feel anxious and jittery too much of the time?

Do you dwell so much on past events that you have difficulty enjoying the present moment?

Neuroscientists have a saying: “the brain loves fame.” Another saying, coined by neuroscientist Wayne Drevets, similarly states: “in the brain, practice makes permanent.”

In other words, the thoughts that are most "popular," or prevalent, are repeated.

The good news, particularly if you answered yes to any of the above questions, is that you can change your mindset and change your life. Happiness has a biological basis, and research shows that we can take steps toward creating a positive and healthy mental space, despite the stresses of living in a demanding existence.

Meet Lisa

Lisa is a young accountant and mom who worries excessively and often second-guesses her actions. Today, she spent more than three hours at her desk continuously going over in her mind the short-temperedness she showed her family before leaving for work, and feeling badly about herself as a result. Rather than acknowledge her early morning mistakes and plan to make amends, she dwelled on her actions in an all or nothing way.

Chances are, like most people, you can relate to Lisa's situation.

What is an All or Nothing Way?

Cognitive psychology teaches us that people who tend to get anxious or depressed think in all or nothing terms about themselves—that they are all good or all bad. As Lisa spent hours labeling herself as a "bad and inadequate mother,” she felt increasingly anxious. Lisa needs to become aware of her harmful usage of all or nothing labels and develop thought patterns of healthy guilt instead of toxic shame.

Healthy guilt acknowledges our mistakes and makes plans to move on by making amends and changing behavior. Toxic shame, on the other hand, makes us stuck in a rut of all or nothing labels. An all or nothing label is so fixed and absolute that flexible thoughts and solutions do not seem available.

Train Tracks in The Mind

Think of brain (neural) pathways like a series of train tracks. The more times a thought goes in a certain direction, the more that route is used. The routes that are not used stop running. We all have engrained, well-worn routes that no longer serve us well, yet we keep taking rides to hostile regions.

Once when I was visiting Connecticut in the winter, my dear friend Jack offered to help me get my luggage on the train. We left his car parked and running in the lot so it would stay warm while he boarded the train to help with my bags. In a flash, the train was out of the station and speeding away from his car. We did some quick problem solving and decided he would get off at the next station and get a ticket back in the direction of his car. Fortunately, he still had a car when he returned, complete with key and engine running.

It occurs to me that this is how the brain works—we store away wonderful, warm places in our brain filled with positive imagery and memories, and yet -- when we are not paying attention to the need to reroute -- we can take frequent rides in the wrong directions. The more “famous” that thoughts become, the more often the brain train will take off in that direction. We all do it.

Lisa, the self-judging mom, needs to notice her all or nothing thoughts with equanimity and curiosity, otherwise she will remain stuck in hostile territory. Fortunately, Lisa decided to take a walk before lunch, during which she realized her inner abuse and began to re-route to a station back in the direction of warmth, comfort, and self-compassion.

Neuroplasticity

Richie Davidson at the University of Wisconsin-Madison states, “We can intentionally shape the direction of plasticity in our brain. By focusing on wholesome thoughts, for example and direction our intentions in those ways, we can influence the plasticity of our brains and shape them in ways that can be beneficial.”

Lisa's story is an example of taking steps to intentionally steer our brain toward healthy, positive stations -- solidifying and strengthening these connections for future use. This ability of the brain to intentionally train or restructure itself with practice is called neuroplasticity.

The Role of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a way to notice and reroute where you are headed in the wrong direction. Like Lisa, we should all practice hearing our negative self-talk and noticing the lack of self-compassion.  

Mindfulness begins with knowing what you are experiencing while you are experiencing it, focusing on acceptance of what is.

Here are some things you can do when you find yourself feeling like Lisa did:

May I be at peace

May I be healed

May I send out loving kindness to others

Biological Benefits

According to research being done at the University of Wisconsin, some of the benefits we can expect to detect in the brain from daily mindfulness practices include:

Reduction in the size of the amygdala, the brain’s alarm center and seat of fearful and anxious emotions.

Increased size of the hippocampus, the region that deals with memory and learning.

Increased grey matter in the anterior cingulate cortex, which is associated with self-regulation, attention, and flexibility of responses.

These are actual structural changes to the brain!

Final Thoughts

Understand that you may have been programmed to engage in a negative way of thinking and, with this understanding, recognize that you have the choice to reroute. Many of us come to realize negativity has somehow become our "default" way of thinking, and we had been moving through life on autopilot.

Remember that your mind has been running in that direction for a long time, so be patient and gentle with yourself if you slip back into old thought patterns. It takes time and practice to build new routes, but isn't inner peace and happiness worth the effort?

# Understanding Mindfulness # Neuroplasticity # Negative Thoughts and Emotions,