dutylost

[dutylost]

         & once i hold on, i won’t let go ‘till it bleeds.

multi muse / multi fandom .  indie & selective .  loved by lucy! previously at @dutylost !

#hi friends !! danse is here !! #[ ➶ // just a bit of self flattery // self promo ]

[dutylost]

HYPOCRISY 

has really aged you well. 

                                        multi muse featuring                                         star wars, orphan black, fallout,                                         steven universe, && more to come.                                                                 ** under construction

#hey guys ! danse over here !!! #[ ➶ // just a bit of self flattery // self promo ]

[dutylost]

   YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M CONFUSED !!

i’m a machine who thinks like a human who was trained to hunt the very thing i’ve become . DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND ?? everything i had , everything i knew is gone. in the span of a few hours, my IDENTITY was ripped from me and my world turned upside down .

indie & mutually exclusive paladin danse from bethesda’s fallout 4. post blind betrayal. spoiler heavy. est 7/17/17. rebooted 04/29/18.

#fallout rp #fallout 4 rp #post apocalyptic rp #video game rp #indie fo rp

[dutylost]

arthur.

He had warned him, and yet he did not listen.

When Maxson said that the Brotherhood would shoot on sight, he meant it. Regardless of where he roamed, as long as the Institute stood, the former-Paladin remained as a threat not only to the Brotherhood of Steel, but more importantly, to mankind overall. 

It had not been Arthur himself that had fired. In fact, his weapon hadn’t even been drawn. The setting sun backlit and obscured the identity and faces of those who pursued after the former-soldier, however among the throng of heavily armoured men and women who surrounded him like a protective wall, Maxson’s figure stood tall. He stood upon the hill’s crescent with his arms tucked behind him and shoulders pulled back proudly as he looked on.

Streams of light pierced through the dimming environment as shots were fired, and only when the receding synth had collapsed had Maxson lifted a hand to request a temporary ceasefire as he descended the ridge he stood upon. While the initial encroaching footsteps of heavy power armour shook the ground and alerted Danse to retreat, the sound of Arthur’s own calculated strides were, for most, far more foreboding.

As he approached alone, Maxson spied the laser rifle that had escaped Danse’s grip. His lips curled in disgust, brow creasing as he felt forced to proceed, and with a simple gesture, Arthur nudged the firearm further out of reach with the toe of his boot and moved to hover over the fallen soldier. 

“Had I known better, I would have considered this insubordination.” He announced bitterly, ire dripping thickly from each individual syllable–like honey, yet there was no trace of sweetness in his tone. “Yet now, here you are, and here I stand, made a liar born from the weakness of my own actions or lack thereof.”

His eyes did not raise until the weapon was kicked further out of his reach --- a small, pained noise escaping tightly clenched teeth before dark eyes moved upwards where the Elder loomed over him. He narrows his gaze -- both against the haze of pain that cling to the corners of his vision, and in an almost sense of false pride against the man that he had once called not just a COMRADE, and a brother, but a friend. There was a sense of BETRAYAL that seeped deep into his bones ( or circuits? It was extremely difficult to tell ), but it was convoluted with a sense of the purpose the Brotherhood had taught him -- all meshed together into a tapestry that Danse was still trying to reconfigure to find out which was right and which was wrong -- 

The vault dweller was not here to save him this time -- he was painfully aware of this fact. Danse was not afraid of DEATH -- he merely did not wish to accept his fate at this time. He had been granted another chance, and with that he could still HELP the Commonwealth ; even if it wasn’t in the colors of the Brotherhood of Steel. But, he would not beg for his life, if that was what Arthur wanted to hear. He merely gives a pained grimace up at him, the hand that was previously reaching for his gun balling into a fist against the heated Commonwealth dirt. “I refused to hide and be painted as an outcast of humanity -- even if I was an outcast from everything that I had ever given myself to,” he breaths, voice painted hoarse as he spoke with a sharp shake of his head, “But, this is not Brotherhood territory, I did not impede on our agreement, Arthur,” he then defends, baring his teeth for a moment before a fresh wave of pain causes him to press his forehead against the ground with a low and shaky breath. “Are you not going to give yourself the pleasure of at least killing me yourself?” 

#[ ♛ // all for one / && one for all ( dash interactions ) ] #[ ★ // verse // i wish i had a reason / my flaws are open season ( post blind betrayal . main ) ] #shadowofsteel

[dutylost]

arthur.

Of course Arthur trusted Danse, that was never in any doubt. What was in doubt was this new blood he took in after they had rescued him and one, solitary mission. He took him at his word, elevated the vault dweller and saw to it that they were given what any new Knight would get. Yet how is that he still felt a strange sense of concern over such a decision? That despite Danse saying it is his own personal responsibility, it still fell upon Arthur’s shoulders as well, no matter what he or any one else says about it. He just hoped that they would serve the Brotherhood well, putting to rest any worries or concerns he might have now. 

With a restrained sigh, he replied. “That is what concerns me the most. I trust you know what you are doing, I will not ever question that. But my faith in them is rather slim. I do hope they keep on the right path that you believe they are on.” A pause, short but heavy all the same. “Tell me, what are they like? Have you been able to speak to them at length?”

The paladin falls quiet for a moment - contemplating the question; contemplating the best response to begin to try and back up the potential that he saw in the former vault dweller despite not having much to their name. THEY HAD SAVED HIS SQUAD, if they hadn’t shown up when they had at the police station -- he wasn’t too prideful to believe that they still would’ve been able to shovel their way out of the ghoul mess they had been cornered in. Albeit, one act of playing good samaritan did not make a good Brotherhood solider. Danse knew this. Arthur knew this. “They are confused,” he finally starts with after a long moment of deliberation. “They had everything that they cared about ripped away from them in what surely felt like merely moments for them. They are lost, and looking for answers. I believe that we can help them FIND their answers, and -- in return, I also believe that our mission will help them find whatever purpose they lost with the bombs.”  Someone who has nothing else left to lose could be extremely dangerous -- but could also be a very valuable ally. 

#[ ♛ // all for one / && one for all ( dash interactions ) ] #[ ★ // verse // the strongest among you may not wear a crown ( brotherhood of steel ) ] #mx001e

[dutylost]

@shadowofsteel

if you capture videos and port them to your computer, taking screencaps is easier!!

i don’t know why i didn’t think of that sooner ??? even if the quality going from ps4 to being uploaded is 110% shit, it’s still better than anything else i was doing . thank you !!

#i just need to suck it up and get it for the pc sometime #[ ✧ // more like ASS victoriam . amright? ( ooc . ) ]

[dutylost]

❤ ▬▬ emotional starters to kick you in the feelings.

“What am I to you?” “If you could be with me, would you?” “Do you still think about (___)?” ”Do you want to be something more?” “I need to tell you how I feel.” “I miss how we used to be.” “Is it okay to say that I’m jealous?” “I’m so sorry I’m jealous… It’s such an ugly feeling.” ”I can’t help the way I feel.” ”They all want you, but they don’t even know you.” ”Is it okay to want you for myself?” “You’re mine. I don’t want to share.” “I want to be the only one for you.” “It’s you. You’re it. You’re the one I want.” “If you want me, you can have me.” “You can have others, but I will be your priority.” “Let’s talk about what you want.” “Let’s talk about what I want.” “I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait until you’re ready.” “You’re my friend. You didn’t know that?” ”I don’t think I know how to love…” ”Can I trust you?” “I forgive you.” “I only play around because I don’t have you.” “Name it. I’d give it up for you.” “You play so hard to get. Will I ever catch you?” “How can I get you to like me?” “Is there some secret to winning your love?” “Are you available?” “Are you afraid of commitment?” “If I agreed to be exclusive with you, would you do the same?” “Do you feel anything?” ”Why are you pushing me away?” ”The instant you start to feel something, you turn tail and run.” ”He/she/they love you, you know…” ”Don’t. I’m not good for you. Don’t even think about falling for me.” ”I will hurt you. That’s just a fact.” “You’re so wild that I want to be the one to tame you.” ”If you love them, then I want to as well.” “Your heart is safe with me.” ”You’re the type who wants to have your cake and eat it, too.” ”You’ve got me wrapped around your finger.” ”I’ve missed you so much.” ”Your happiness comes before mine.” ”I don’t mind sharing, as long as I’m with you.” “I am so sorry for hurting you.” “Can we start over?”

#[ ✧ // memes ! ]

[dutylost]

i will legit pay someone for screencaps of d/anse ( without power armor ). getting caps from the ps4 is a pain in the ass.

#i will pay you real money . like legit . #[ ✧ // more like ASS victoriam . amright? ( ooc . ) ]

[dutylost]

will our deeds be remembered?

are they written in stone or in sand?

#reminder that 80% of my time online is spent on my trash space son #[ ➶ // just a bit of self flattery // self promo ]

[dutylost]

@mx001e || sc.

    “I have the upmost faith in THEIR POTENTIAL, Arthur, or I would not have sponsored them ; any failures I will take personal responsibility for.”

#hope this works !! #mx001e #[ ★ // verse // the strongest among you may not wear a crown ( brotherhood of steel ) ] #[ ♛ // all for one / && one for all ( dash interactions ) ]

[dutylost]

i will legit pay someone for screencaps of d/anse ( without power armor ). getting caps from the ps4 is a pain in the ass.

#[ ✧ // i have adult things to do ( mobile . ooc ) ] #tbd

[dutylost]

Send ☄ for one random headcanon I have for my muse!

#lemme rant about my idiot paladin #[ ✧ // memes ! ]

[dutylost]

if you get an erection in that suit, do you bruise?

   “I do not appreciate your unprofessional questioning, civilian.”

#Anonymous #i was torn between having him say 'what's an erection?' and this . im just . #why this ??? #ic asks tbt

[dutylost]

psa. danse is an asshole. him being a synth and thus removed from the brotherhood does not automatically make him a better person. he has “skewed” views on synths still and is in a world of convoluted ideals. he might be more tolerant towards other synths, but for the most part -- yes, his discovery of being a synth does change a lot about him, but it doesn’t make him an angel by any means and he’s still an asshole. his “change” is always a work in progress.

#this is . something i have seen before . and i want to point out that #danse is 110% a big asshole . have you MEET HIM ?? #[ ╳ // some things under the sun cannot be understood ( headcanons // about danse . ) ]

[dutylost]

jamie.

HE HEARS those words, it’d be impossible not to given the sense of urgency Danse seems to carry around with him as he speaks. It’s unbearable. He’s being SELFISH trying to keep himself quiet, but his mind is still reeling from the moment. WHAT WAS IT supposed to be like for him? 

NOW THAT HE WASN’T HIMSELF ANYMORE

He shouldn’t be feeling this way, he remembers all the time and effort he put into trying to pull Danse back from the brink after he was ostracized by the Brotherhood. HE REMEMBERS every detail of it as though it was yesterday. it’s an uncomfortable feeling of karmic justice for him to be paying the price for his years of service to a group with NO sense of remorse. It was times like this that he missed THE LYONS’ BROTHERHOOD most. He lets out a strained breath momentarily before hiding his face, CURLING UP tightly into himself as he desperately attempts to distract himself.

“I…”

HE ATTEMPTS to give Danse what he asks for, it’s unfair for him to COMPLETELY cut the lines of communication simply because he’s feeling impossibly constrained by his current circumstances. THIS ISN’T RIGHT.

He doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

THE BROTHERHOOD bested him, all because he cared more about helping the MINUTEMEN rather than keeping his own head clear of the guillotine. BUT THAT’S WHO HE WAS.

The minutemen deserved better, and he couldn’t in good conscience give HALF OF HIMSELF to a cause so noble.

“I don’t know…”

YOU KNOW ME, It’s just me -- Danse wanted to tell him. To scream it at him, and shake some sense into the man that he knew. Or he had known -- No, he refused to believe that Jamie was any different than he had been before. FOR SO LONG, Jamie had spent trying to change Danse’s mind that he was much more than the machine that the Brotherhood had dismissed and vilified. And Jamie had SUCCEEDED -- eventually; it had taken a long time of Jamie continuously trying each and every day and moment to wear down the walls that Danse had built with the discovery of what he was. M3-97, and his appearance, had given them a set back -- but, Danse was as whole as he possibly could be. And Jamie had been ripped from him. So, when River had made her decision, Danse refused to be upset about it. Danse wasn’t a tactile man -- even if things with Jamie was always different -- he reaches out slightly, as if reaching out for the other ; but he stops, grunts to himself, and pulls back.   You know me -- his brain echoes to the other, but he doesn’t say it. A selfish part of him feels like he deserves better from Jamie; but he crushes that part of thinking just as quickly as it appears. Jamie was likely hurting, and he needed to allow him the time to do so. “ -- I’m here, you know that I am; you know that I’m not going anywhere. Jamie, please, tell me what you need.”

#[ ♛ // all for one / && one for all ( dash interactions ) ] #[ ★ // private verse // walk me down your broken line // dymaxiion ] #dymaxiion

[dutylost]

Ignacio Serricchio as Don West in Lost in Space 1x06

#[ ✚ // rise back up && and relive my glory ( visage ) ]

[dutylost]

@shadowofsteel​ || sc . 

The former Paladin was nothing if not observant. He had it drilled into his very bones that to become distracted – to allow your focus to shift to something that was not part of your surroundings – could mean death. It could be overly dangerous, especially out in the open and alone. Danse should know better. After over a decade in the Brotherhood, and running around the Capitol Wasteland as young adult before that, it should’ve been second nature to keep his attention from being split. In the end, he would blame the shot on nothing more than dumb luck – as he did not see the solo set of power armor over the horizon ; the Brotherhood did not typically come out this way. It was not their territory – it was not their land. It was a place that Danse should be able to wander the dirt of without worrying about his safety. Should be; maybe that was why his focus was split. Maybe that was why he did not notice the Brotherhood soldier until the sound of the laser weapon beingfired rang through the wastes – followed almost instantly by a SEARING pain against his abdomen. Ever since becoming a Knight in the Brotherhood, Danse had rarely let his boots hit the ground without being shrouded by his power armor.  But, without a place to properly maintenance it – without a place to properly store it ; it was less of a burdento not wear it. To instead sport combat armor that clung tightly to muscle and skin – and revealed much more of his body to the world than he was comfortable with. The shot hit right below the curve of his chest piece – searing through his clothing, and burning through flesh. Knees buckled as a gasp vibrated in his lungs ; the weight of his body hitting the sand before he could even properly comphrend what was happening. It had been avery long time since he had gotten injured without the pillowing of his power armor dulling the throb. In the fall, his laser rifle tumbled from his holster – sitting against the dirt a few good feet from where he lay. A grunt of pain rose from his chest as he rolled over onto his side with some effort – squinting at the figure in the distance as he struggled to try and reach his weapon – just outside of his grasp as harsh pants made his entire being quiver.

#[ ♛ // all for one / && one for all ( dash interactions ) ] #shadowofsteel #[ ★ // verse // i wish i had a reason / my flaws are open season ( post blind betrayal . main ) ]