east-of-nowhere

[east-of-nowhere]

I like to think that if I woke up as a child again that I wouldn’t know or remember the things I know now. It would all be like remembering a dream. Most of it lost immediately but a few things would linger. I’d have a feeling something happened and then realize it was part of that dream and dismiss it.

I like to think that dreams are realities like that. I really fell asleep in his arms again. I really thanked my drama teacher for everything. I really danced with an old crush as we said our last goodbyes.

And then I woke up to another world.

#where will I go tonight? #I will never regret being held by you in my dreams #because it may hurt when I realize it was a dream #but the comfort stays

[east-of-nowhere]

i woke up shivering from my dream this morning (it had you in it)

@/heavensghost on tumblr / unknown / richard siken / susan orlean / cool about it by boygenius / @/annalaura_art on tiktok / @/annalaura_art on tiktok / for your own good by leah horlick / the night we met by lord huron / richard siken / trista mateer / text: I thought id know you forever.. by Olivia Ruby - art: Watchmen by Dave Gibbons et al

[east-of-nowhere]

i think there's something so beautiful about postcards and how they say that yes i was in this beautiful place but i still couldn't stop thinking about you

[east-of-nowhere]

My favorite social interaction is “conversation pre-gaming” which is when your friend calls you to tell you they’re on their way and then you immediately get into a lengthy conversation that only ends when they arrive.

This is closely followed by “conversation post-gaming” which when they call you on their way home.

#it’s so sweet and good #and always makes me so happy

[east-of-nowhere]

realizing i am thinking about you instead of the audiobook and going back 15 seconds on the libby app. realizing i am thinking about you instead of the groceries and i have been in this aisle forever, just staring at bread choices. realizing i am only on instagram to send you things. realizing i am thinking about you in the middle of my morning routine like you pardon the early hour just by existing.

little hopscotch moments where i get to nest in the memory of you. i get stuck, candycoated in the sound of your voice. the shape of your hands. the little spray of freckles over your cheeks. your hair fanned across my bedsheets. realizing i am thinking about you instead of applying for jobs. realizing i am thinking about you instead of writing poems. realizing the sound of your name has become a second heartbeat somewhere in the rabbit warren of me.

[east-of-nowhere]

We had the perfect evening and then you never texted me. I hope you’re okay. Sleep well. I love you.

#i love you i love you i love you

[east-of-nowhere]

Never understood the collective vehement resentment of small talk lol i hate the painful grind of small talk as much as the next person but i think id rather shrivel up and die than be denied nuggets of joy found in standing in an elevator and having a middle aged woman compliment my nails or bonding fleetingly with a cafegoer over the city's temperamental weather it's so integral to nurturing & cultivating the soul i think

#also important for fighting tyranny #look it up

[east-of-nowhere]

Stay safe. Sleep well. I love you.

#i love you i love you i love you

[east-of-nowhere]

You’re my favorite person to talk to. One 2-hour conversation with you healed an 8 month old wound.

I hope we get to talk again soon

#i love you i love you i love you

[east-of-nowhere]

No. I simply do not accept this. I will achieve happiness by brute force or I will die trying.

#is there beauty and happiness that comes from fighting change? #from insisting that there is more to be gained from life? #to saying I can and I will get the things I want not because I’ve earned it but because it’s right? #idk #that’s just my current mood I guess

[east-of-nowhere]

[east-of-nowhere]

so stubborn i will die single to prove to my ex that breaking up with me was not for my own good

#also to prove that I am not strong #because it’s annoying when you’re in pain and breaking down #and everyone just says #wow you’re so strong #same with brave #I’m not brave #I’m just alive

[east-of-nowhere]

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

[east-of-nowhere]

Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me

[east-of-nowhere]

“Home is where the trees look normal” is the sweetest, saddest, most nostalgic truth I’ve ever heard.

#does anyone know where this is from? #maybe I heard it on a podcast or something #but I think about it constantly #and it is so so true #home

[east-of-nowhere]

we need to bring back inviting people over for cake and coffee. my grandma used to do that all the time and I think it's a lost art

[east-of-nowhere]

the smallest artist i listen to? probably the bird outside my window