egocloud

[egocloud]

Being emotionally repressed is very good

I am calm in emergencies- my nephew was having seizures and was close to dying and I didn't panic and helped emergencies services by bringing cold compress; while my family panicked. Not caring when my brother is chasing me with a knife and threatening me and only chasing him back to take it away.

I don't feel sad or very distraught when bad things are said or happening to me, that much. My mom with her screaming and anger problems shouting at me or my sister nagging and passive aggressiveness or my disabled problem screaming hateful things; don't affect me much

I can change my opinions very quickly and adapt to changes without much problem, like my brother not letting me have pizza because of his fixation and need to get under my skin.

I don't require special care and can function on minimal things- I don't ask for help and manage myself, can adapt spectacularly- my phone wasn't charging correctly, often without battery I'm school, I found extreme battery saving mode and charged through the day and used my tablet at home.

#dont mind that i have no opinions or preferences #or that i dont feel happy #or sad for that matter #or that i dont find anything suprising or amazing #or that i have no motivation or want to do anything #or that i dont feel emergencies and dont take action #or im emotionally a rock #or that i cant distinguish my emotions #or that i cannot distinguish my preferences for things #or that i cannot offer any profound argument only go along the flow #emotionally repressed #personal rant #trying to work through my emotions but kinda feel like im not in position to do so

[egocloud]

When I watched the show the first time, I had thought Rafhael had a blood kink. When Isabella in that one scene asked if he always been that way.

I though- what a weirdo, bet he's glad he is a vampire for it to be justifiable turn on. -as 11 year old watching the series in my non-native language.

#raphael santiago #Isabela lightwood #shadowhunters #shadow hunters #asexual raphael #ace Raphael #ace #i thought how did he had sex as a human and like wondered roleplay was involved or he passed it as biting kink