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“I’ve always been told that I should build some type of skin. I’ve always let myself merge too much with the world, not really knowing where the world ends and I begin. This song screams the muchness of it. And it’s delicious. Being human is really delicious, even though it’s more than any of us can handle. My god it’s a lot.”

AURORA on "Some Type of Skin" for FemMusic | 22.03.2024

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An Invitation

What I want to say is

I like your face,

            I think about

your hands on me,

            but I don’t say this

aloud,

            and yet everything

about me is an invitation,

            an open door,

a conjuring of clothes

            on a bedroom floor,

and I’m not sure who

            will make the first move,

only that one of us will,

and it feels like a song

            I once knew

but forgot, you feel like a song

            I once knew,

come closer,

            let me sing it back to you.

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clark reupload

edit: forgot the sweater comic

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This post from @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier making it as good a time as any for a The Magicians brain dump I guess: like the post says the Qualice reunion scene is a weird and weirdly perfunctory scene, and honestly who knows what the writers were smoking for those last two episodes, but. in the secretly good show in my head, the scene is perfunctory and not particularly romantic because it's not really supposed to be, or at least the main purpose of the scene is not exactly Quentin and Alice's romance. To me the narrative problem/tension of Qualice at this point in the show is not whether they love each other. They do. They've said it and shown it in multiple ways, there's not really any need for romantic declarations. In fact Alice made a romantic declaration at the end of s3 on the muntjac, saying that Quentin was the one she loved etc. And then still destroyed the keys in Blackspire, which Quentin clearly takes as a personal betrayal, why he can't trust her. In s3 Alice loves Quentin but she doesn't trust him, not with her feelings, or with her secret plans. Which is where the many many parallels of Alice and Eliot in s4 begin! If the plot of s3 (magic gone and fairy takeover) is mostly the consequences of Quentin and Margo's choices in s2, the plot of s4 (the monster and the library) is mostly the consequences of Alice and Eliot's choices at the end of s3 (with help from Fogg). In s4 Alice and Eliot are both prisoners, and they both escape their prisons, in different ways. And a lot of the tension of this scene for me, which is linked also with the flower scene, is - can Quentin escape his prison? He's repeating the same story he told himself in pilot episode, that false dichotomy: there is the escapist dream of Fillory/fantasy/magic where Quentin finally finds the secret door and becomes someone he wants to be, where his life becomes something he wants it to be, which is childish and must be left behind for the cold hard wasteland of the adult world, of harsh reality, and you just have to suck it up and deal with it. I don't think this scene feels particularly romantic because it's not supposed to be: Quentin says he can forgive Alice, can change his notions, his expectations, but he's still trapped. He can't see the third option yet, in the garden he says: isn't the idea of Fillory enough, but does he see it yet? It's not the idea of Fillory, it's his idea of Fillory, Quentin's idea, when it says in the magicians books that the world might be a wasteland but we are not, we're the source, there's no oasis out there waiting, we create the oasis ourselves.

Tldr this scene has Quentin and Alice getting back together but it's not actually about them, it's about Quentin's fucked-up-ness. Does the show actually know this? could not tell you if you paid me.

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ITS TIME TODAY IS THE DAY

I REVEAL TO YOU

THE MAGICIANS THEMED VALENTINE CARDS PART 1

feel free to use. theyre for everyone.

#the magicians #tm #quentin #queliot #eliot #alice #margo #josh #qualice #penny #rafe and abigail #julia #rupert chatwin #lev grossman #the magicians trilogy

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SOON ITS TIME AGAIN!!

I REVEAL TO YOU

THE MAGICIANS THEMED VALENTINE CARDS PART 1

feel free to use. theyre for everyone.

#the magicians #tm #quentin #queliot #eliot #alice #margo #josh #qualice #penny #rafe and abigail #julia #rupert chatwin #lev grossman #the magicians trilogy

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I made a little zine!

You can download and print it yourself here

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give me something to draw.

A strong girl carrying the rainbow.

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is anyone else thinking nonstop about how the first thing 15 did was make a set of gloves that would have saved rose. cause i can’t stop thinking about it

#OP #OP I FUCKING #FUCK #doctor who #dw spoilers #my god. my fucking god

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glad we could turn thirteen's houdini reference homoerotic. this is what i want out of doctor who

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Neither Donna, nor the Doctor could ever imagine that one accidental Christmas meeting would change their lives forever, and that they would become such an integral part of each other's life.

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The Church On Ruby Road (2023) + Text posts

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We're so back!

#i love the 9th doctor 15 parallels #welcome back blond girlies

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Fourteenth Doctor forced to go grocery shopping. From a distance sees Martha Jones comparing two bottles of potato chips (or "the queen's crisps" because they're in the UK). Excuses himself to the produce section so he doesn't have to answer for a bunch of stuff. Unfortunately, as he's rounding the corner, he sees Yasmin Khan looking for a good bargain on spinach. Excuses himself to the cleaning supplies section so he doesn't have to answer a bunch of questions about why last week he made Yaz realize she was a lesbian and told her that they couldn't be together because she could never settle down, and then immediately turned into a gay man and retired with his heterosexual bestie. Realizing there's no way out of the store without passing one or both of them, he simply tries to blend in with all the brooms and hopes the moment passes.

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It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.