featherdflight - Tumblr blog

featherdflight · 9 months

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#*returns for the first time in actual years*#*posts a funny edit to clown on a random weirdo*#*refuses to elaborate*#*leaves*

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featherdflight · 11 months

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I lived, bitch.

Hi, I took a long ass break from tumblr, and, damn I meant to log into my other account but, hm

It still feels like it wasn't that long ago, but damn, two whole years huh ?

I'm back but I ain't tellin y'all where or who I am cuz, y'know !

Also my Discord Tag is different now but again, I ain't tellin cuz yeah !

Though I suppose I will say it's weird thinkin back about the way I acted during the whole kerfuffle.

I'm definitely a bit embarrassed, but I can't really fault myself, as I was scared and hurt at the time in ways I've never been before and I didn't know how to process or deal with it in a healthy way.

Thinkin back, I definitely did alot of apologizin for things I didn't have to apologize for, though I know I only did so either because I was made to feel guilty by people who were never really on my side, or to just try takin the heat away from friends. But, me doin so really only gave my abusers more ammunition to use against me in whatever ways they felt like.

I mean, I can sorta understand, it's not like I was the perfect picture of maturity, despite bein told by false friends that I was.

There were definitely things I handled in the worst way possible

But damn you really don't have any other way of copin with your stuff other than villainizin the people you've hurt, huh ?

The only thing I really have to actually apologize for is ever havin contacted you again.

And it's an apology to myself more than anything.

But eh whatevs

That was all years ago, no use holdin onto it I suppose !

You're free to do so, as I know you never really let anything go.

But livin as a victim is so dull and self-torturous, and if you feel it suits you, that's fine, you do you

I'll pass tho

Anyhow, yeah, stuff, words, woag, closure

Look at this cool video

#All I can really do is learn from my mistakes and keep movin forward #But yea #I'm doin fine nowadays for anyone curious !#Been lookin for a job lately #Hopin to get one soon cuz ough everything costs so much money always all the time #Other than that tho I suppose I don't really got much more to say really #Yeehaw

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featherdflight · 2 years

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Yes hi hello ! I don’t think I’m gonna be coming back ! I’m feeling safer staying away from the Tumblr RPC quite honestly.

I do miss y’all, but it really doesn’t feel like anything here is worth it anymore.

You can find me on Rolescape as soon as it releases either in Beta or if I get possibly picked for Alpha. But otherwise, I can’t see myself comin back here anytime soon.

Here’s my Discord if you still wanna keep in touch. Please tell me who you are when or if you send a Friend Request, otherwise I might decline for my own safety.

-

If you’re someone who’s hurt me though, please leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you people or this situation anymore. You can hate me or lie about me all you want, I genuinely do not give a shit anymore. I’m too emotionally drained and tired to give a single damn about anything any of you do regarding me anymore.

I just want to be left alone, I just want to be safe. I don’t want to talk, I will never want to talk, if you try to contact me you will be blocked on sight, I want to be left the fuck alone and I am hoping to hell and back that you can understand and respect this.

#(Tweet Tweet: Ooc)

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featherdflight · 2 years

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When you help people they want to help you back. No one is perfect if someone says they are then that someone is wrong. I can't speak for others but I think you've helped people more than harmed them. This is just words on a screen, but I hope you feel better.

thank you..

#(Tweet Tweet: Ooc)#this actually meant alot to see....#i always want to help people honestly #to be kind to others like they're kind to me #thank you

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featherdflight · 2 years

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The fact you're willing to examine yourself is already a big step over those kind of people. Most of them don't accept criticism, they only want an echo chamber that has people that spout only what they want to hear. The very idea they are wrong is inconceivable to them. There is a balance people have where their ego can take over. It is important to have people to rely on who can help you, but you can't be beholden on them either. It is a hard balance, I don't claim to know the answers. Be safe

i'll be honest, i don't think i have an ego kind of hard for someone who hates themself to have an ego, y'know? pffft

but i understand

it's.....

i wasn't expecting so much support and positivity when i asked my earlier question

i appreciate it, i truly do and, i suppose if i have this much support, then i'm not as broken as i thought i was.

i don't believe that i'm not flawed, but i think i'm able to trust people enough to keep an eye on me

#(Tweet Tweet: Ooc)

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featherdflight · 2 years

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You aren't a bad person at all Bird and I'm sorry that you are going through this <3 Lots of people love and support you!

thank you for your kind words, i've been assured that i'm not a bad person by friends before, but..

that doesn't mean i haven't done bad things, or that i don't have flaws that are too big to ignore

and i want to know.

i want to be safe for people, to feel comfortable for others i don't want to scare people, i want to be a friend i want to be good.

and i can't do that if i don't know what's bad

#(Tweet Tweet: Ooc)

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featherdflight · 2 years

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okay, so

i can’t live in a right mind if there’s the possibility that i did something wrong.

that i scare people, or that i’m hated for something i might have done.

so i turned on anon please, tell me what i did wrong, if anything i want to be better, i don’t want to be a bad person

so please, tell me what i need to fix or apologize for.

#(Tweet Tweet: Ooc)#sorry i keep flip flopping on and off this blog here like this #i don't think i really have the spoons to come back yet #but that doesn't mean i don't still want to work on fixing myself in the meantime #but i can't fix myself if i don't know what to fix #so please #tell me

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featherdflight · 2 years

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hm.

yeah yeah, okay.

fine.

i don’t care about “not giving them what they want” i don’t care about being strong and i don’t care about persisting anymore.

i feel so fragile already and if i take any more steps i’m scared that i’ll just break.

so fine. you win. you can have this platform to yourself for now.

feel free to take this opportunity to come back or finally remake or whatever you want.

i don’t care anymore.

consider this a hiatus. whether it’s permanent or not, i don’t know.

i’ve done hiatuses and breaks so many times before already that i doubt this one will be permanent either, but. i don’t know.

mutuals who i trust already have my discord if you don’t have it and want it, you can ask through messages

once i’m feeling better, i do roleplay on discord as well as in dms. so if there’s anything you want to continue, write, or plot you’re free to hit me up

but, to you-know-who?

i don’t even know what to really say.

congrats, i guess. for successfully hurting me in a way that matters.

just take this victory and leave me alone.

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featherdflight · 2 years

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The real question: is Kreacher... a creature?

Can neither confirm or deny

#(Kreacher: Gremlin of the Court)#mxstball

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featherdflight · 2 years

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quick reminder to give my rules a look

nothing’s new about them, i just i got hurt real badly recently, and

i don’t know

just please, talk to me, please. i’m not bad, i don’t want to be bad, please tell me if i’m bad. please tell me if i did something.

please.

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featherdflight · 2 years

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Infiltrated Wal-Mart today

Ask me anything

#(Tweet Tweet: Ooc)

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featherdflight · 2 years

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[ 🐤 ] @coderabbit

He knows she’s here he knows she’s here.

Bonnie doesn’t give a shit about making a mess at this point. They want this bitch gone. Another cabinet tossed aside, another table. He grabs Fruit Maze, shoves it to the side to check behind and, bingo.