fuckingrecipes

[fuckingrecipes]

America is absolutely disconnected to meat

I think I realized this when I had went to see my dad and stepmom one day and asked if I could place my hawk’s food. (A rabbit leg) in the freezer. My step mom was disgusted by the idea that a leg from an animal was in the freezer meanwhile an entire chicken was sitting in the fridge.

Your rotisserie chicken is an entire chicken.

Your pork chop is a hunk of pig.

Your rack of ribs are from a cow’s rib cage.

It’s like Americans view meat as colorful red and pink hued shapes that just exist and come into the world packaged.

You see so many people getting harassed or even having their content flagged for showing how to process or field dress meat when it’s at it’s freshest. Right after culling. For some reason this is considered “gore” by many folks when in reality it’s no more different from plucking a processed chicken after cull.

You also notice that Americans have an idea of what’s normal meat and what isn’t normal meat and there’s racist undertones that I’ve noticed in a lot of these comments left on foreign cooking videos

You have people that claim a video of a man in a different country preparing something like this is “eating a dog.” Meanwhile this is roasted goat.

You have people who’s only perception of an edible fish is in fillet or fish stick form and they call something like this nasty because “Eww there’s a head!” Yeah.. most animals have heads..

Some of ya’ll need to realize what your meat looks like prior to processing and that it’s prepared in different ways. We also need to erase the stigma behind non traditional meats.

[fuckingrecipes]

hey. don’t cry. crush four cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and pasta of your choice ok?

[fuckingrecipes]

Show up at work like hi boss sorry I'm late my I was helping my mother track down one specific 90s dungeon crawler for the purposes of obtaining a muffin recipe the developer hid in the files

[fuckingrecipes]

Wait, which animals raise livestock?

Several species of ants will 'herd' aphids around (a type of plant lice)- even picking them up and putting them back with the group if they wander off. The ants will attack anything that approaches their aphid herds, defending them. The aphids produce a sugary excretion called honeydew, which the ants harvest and eat.

Some ants will even 'milk' the aphids, stroking the aphids with their antennae, to stimulate them to release honeydew. Some aphids have become 'domesticated' by the ants, and depend entirely on their caretaker ants to milk them.

When the host plant is depleted of resources and dies, the ants will pick up their herd of aphids and carry them to a new plant to feed on - a new 'pasture' if you will.

Some ants continue to care for aphids overwinter, when otherwise they'd die. The ants carry aphid eggs into their own nests, and will even go out of their way to destroy the eggs of aphid-predators, like ladybugs.

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Microhylids – or narrow-mouthed frogs - have an interesting symbiosis with Tarantulas.

While the spiders could very easily kill and eat the much-tinier frogs, and DO normally prey on small frogs, young spiders instead will use their mouthparts to pick up the microhylid frogs, bring them back to their burrow, and release them unharmed.

The frog benefits from hanging out in/around the burrow of the tarantula, because the tarantula can scare away or eat predators that normally prey on tiny frogs, like snakes, geckos, and mantids. The tarantula gets a babysitter.

Microhylid frogs specialize in eating ants, and ants are one of the major predators of spider eggs. By eating ants, the frogs protect the spider's eggs. The frogs can also lay their eggs in the burrow, and won't be eaten by the spider.

So it's less 'livestock' and more like a housepet - a dog or a cat. You stop coyotes/eagles from hurting your little dog/cat, and in return the dog/cat keeps rats away from your baby.

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Damselfish grow algae on rocks and corals. They defend these gardens ferociously, and will attack anything that comes too close - even humans. They spend much of their time weeding the gardens, removing unwanted algaes that might overtake their crop.

The species of algae that they cultivate is weak and and sensitive to growing conditions, and can easily be overgrazed by other herbivores. That particular algae tends to grow poorly in areas where damselfish aren't around to protect and farm it.

Damselfish will ALSO actively protect Mysidium integrum (little shrimp-like crustacians) in their reef farms, despite eating other similarly sized invertebrates. The mysids are filter feeders, who feed on zooplankton and free-floating algae, and their waste fertilizes the algae farms. Many types of zooplankton can feed on the algae crop, and the mysids prevent that.

While Mysids can be found around the world, the only place you'll find swarms of Musidium integrum is on the algae farms that Damselfish cultivate.

Damselfish treat the little mysids like some homesteaders treat ducks. Ducks eat snails and other insect pests on our crops, and their poop fertilizes the land. The ducks can be eaten, but aren't often, since they're more useful for their services than their meat.

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There are SEVERAL species of insect and animal which actively farm. They perform fungiculture and horticulture: deliberately growing and harvesting fungus and plants at a large-scale to feed their population.

Leaf-cutter ants and Termites both chew up plant material and then seed it with a specific type of fungus. The fungus grows, and the termites/ants harvest the mushroom as a food source.

Ambrosia beetles burrow into decaying trees, hollow out little farming rooms, and introduce a specific fungii (the ambrosia fungi), which both adults and larval beetles feed on.

Marsh Periwinkles (a type of snail) cultivates fungus on cordgrass. They wound the plant with their scraping tongue, then defecate into the wound so their preferred fungus will infect it and grow there. They let the fungus grow in the wound a bit, and come back later to eat.

#Mutualism #algae farm #fungus farm #ants #aphids #ant farmers #termite farmers #beetle farmers #pet frog

[fuckingrecipes]

found goat milk and wheat ale at the store. theres no way im NOT making a white gilgamesh tonite

[fuckingrecipes]

This scam made the California University study 124 imported oils and found that over 70% of samples failed the tests.

These failed:

Mezzetta

Carapelli

Pompeian

Primadonna

Mazola

Sasso

Colavita

Star

Antica Badia

Whole Foods

Safeway

Felippo Berio

Coricelli

Bertolli

These brands passed:

Corto olive

Lucero

McEvoy Ranch Organic

Omaggio

California Olive Branch

Bariani Olive oil

Lucini

Ottavio

Olea Estates

Cobram Estate

Kirkland Organic

Also, test the olive oil yourself at home. Put the bottle out when cold, or in the fridge for 30 min. if it gets solid, it is pure and has monounsaturated fats.

[fuckingrecipes]

what if i told you that a lot of “Americanized” versions of foods were actually the product of immigrant experiences and are not “bastardized versions”

[fuckingrecipes]

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

[fuckingrecipes]

[fuckingrecipes]

New fear unlocked for Masterchef contestants:

When the Chocolate Guy (Amaury Guichon) sets the challenge!

[fuckingrecipes]

What is heart of palm, and what does it taste like? And how do I even use it? I keep seeing cans and jars of it in the grocery store. So much that it got me super curious in trying it out, but I don't know where to start with it.

Just crack open a can and stick it in your mouth. Finely chop it and throw it in a salad. It's mild. Haven't had it in a while, but it kinda reminds me of turnip? Vaguely?

It is literally the very inside core of a palm tree. (HEART of PALM)

Very nutritious, quite fibrous.

[fuckingrecipes]

My fave sandwich lately has been cream cheese, hard boiled egg, crab sticks, deli slices, black olives, mayo. Anything you think should be added?

Itty bitty dill pickle gerkins, sliced very very thinly. Lay 'em next to the egg.

Also, a dash of white pepper on the mayo.

[fuckingrecipes]

I've been trying to level up my sandwich game recently, any tips?

Don't be a coward.

Put weirder shit on it.

[fuckingrecipes]

How the fuck do you cook an artichoke?!

Find an artichoke that's got a big stem, and looks pretty tightly closed.

Steam it whole, stem-side down, until the stem is soft enough to easily pierce with a fork. Like, it's almost mushy.

Then you take it out of the steam to cool down. While it's cooling, you've a couple classic options for prepping a dip.

I like real mayo, my spouse likes garlic butter, ranch is good. Whatever you want, really. A creamy/buttery base really makes it better tho.

The bottom-most petals will have the least amount of flesh, and the most hard tissue that you don't eat.

You use your teeth to scrape the soft inner flesh off, petal by petal.

At the end, you'll have an artichoke heart, with a bunch of fuzz on top of it.

Carefully pull all the fuzz off and set it aside. It's not fun to eat =(

Then chow down on your artichoke heart!

The stem is definitely edible, but very fiberous like celery. Lots of people don't like the fibers, so they say it's inedible, but it tastes similar to the heart! I hate to throw it out without at least gnawing all the delicious soft parts out of it.

#artichoke #cooking artichoke

[fuckingrecipes]

Do you have any stupid easy cookie recipes? Preferably something that doesn't involve a mixer or creaming butter and sugar.

If you buy one of those round containers of Quaker Oats (rolled flat), they usually come with a Oatmeal Raisin cookie recipe on the inside.

I usually add extra cinnamon, a bit of nutmeg, change the raisins to chocolate chips.... and then double the chocolate chip amount, and add walnuts if I'm not feeding it to my nut-allergy friend.

I grew up without a mixer - mixed everything by hand with a spatula. It'll tire out your shoulders, but it really is a great recipe!

This is the taste of my childhood~~~~ <3

#recipe #cookies #fucking recipe

[fuckingrecipes]

hello! recently ive had an obsession with drinks, and almost each night ive been making one, ranging from chai latte to orange julius, to milkshakes. but ive been running out - do you happen to have any recipes? nonalcoholic would be preferable, and names are just fine too unless it’s not a wide spread concoction. thank you!!!

How about instead of a recipe, I give you some less-used ingredients and you can DIY some combinations?

Red Bell Pepper Juice! You can sometimes buy it at specialty stores, or you can blend/crush/mash some red bell peppers and strain the juice out yourself. I really like it combined with simple syrup and lime juice for a rich mocktail.

You can also use other vegetable juices in fun little drinks. Carrot juice can be surprisingly sweet. Sugar Beets are named that for a reason. There's a lot of folks down here in the south who just drink sweetcorn juice.

You can get a deeper, smokier flavor by braising your veggies until they char a little, before juicing them.

Seedlip Spice 94, for an herbal, conifer-like flavor. I love this paired with lavender syrup, in any clear soda. It tastes like summer!

Coconut Cream (not coconut water! It's different!) Can be used as a base instead of ice cream, with frozen mango for an ultra-creamy, richly flavored frozen drink. The ratios here will be different, so use your own judgement.

Consider going to a foreign food market, and buying like... random canned fruit you've never heard of. Using lychee syrup is delicious. You can also look around for fruits and drinks you've never tried. There's a whole world out there of packaged drink powders!

Gochujang sweetened with honey and lime, cut with ginger beer is... an experience. Get the ratios right, and it's addictive.

Think about muddling herbs/fruits into your clear soda, which aren't just 'mint and cucumber' - Basil and lime. Dill and apple. Blackberry and Anise.

Had muddled basil and simple syrup in some iced coffee recently. It was intriguing. Good? Not sure, but it compelled me.

Be adventurous and you'll never run out of new flavor combinations to try~

[fuckingrecipes]

HOW DO YOU FUCKING SEASON TO TASTE???????????

"To Taste" means you add a little bit, stir it up for a moment and taste it... then if you want more, you add a little bit more, stir it in, wait about a minute, and then taste it again.... repeat until you personally think it has enough of whatever you're adding.

Salt is usually 'to taste', because people have different opinions on how salty they want it... or the recipe author knows that folks with very finely ground salt will need to add a lot less than someone with coarsely ground salt, and don't want someone to add '1tsp' of 'salt', when that'll taste very different if you use finely ground vs coarsely ground.

Likewise, some people like a LOT of spices added to their food, while other folks like just enough to taste it.

Everyone's palate is different! Everyone's tastebuds are a little different!

Since it's impossible to make the perfect food that everyone will love, the recipe author asks you to add spices until you're happy with it!

~To taste~