garbbitch

[garbbitch]

you stood me up!

jb x reader

angst, fluff

julien was working on her next album, spending long hours at the studio and working. you were as supportive as you could’ve been. she was working a lot and getting a lot more pissy a lot more often. like, you guys had fought a lot in the last month after being together for a few years.

[flashback]

one night she came from home from the studio but you were still at work, she knew you were gonna be, she knew that you were gonna be later than usual. that morning you guys agreed that she was gonna cook dinner to make everyone’s life a little easier. except when she got home that day, she got in bed, and just went to sleep.

you came in from work exceptionally tired from a long boring meeting with the board of directors of your company. when you came in and saw there was no sign of anything being done in the kitchen you started to worry.

“julien? are you home?” you called as you took off your shoes by the door. you didn’t even see her usual converse by the door.

she said nothing. you huffed and walked to your bedroom where you saw julien laying on the bed asleep. you knew she was working hard and honestly felt bad for her. you gently woke her up.

“baby, are you alright?” you asked gently as your stroked her hair.

“fuck— i was supposed to cook. i’m sorry.” she said as she started to get up. you didn’t wanna stress her more than necessary so you offered to help her cook. she declined and ran to the kitchen. you shrugged it off before changing into some comfier clothes before joining her in the kitchen.

“it’s not like you to get in bed so early, are you feeling ok?” you asked as you made yourself some tea to soothe your lingering headache from work.

“i’m fine.” she said in a tone that made you do a double take. you could tell she wasn’t in the best mood.

“well, if you had told me you were too tired i would’ve picked up takeout or something.” you said gently, not wanting to stir the pot any further.

“fuck—“ she said softly, “i can’t keep you updated on my every fucking emotion yn.” she snapped. you were taken aback by her words.

“woah, i didn’t say—“ you started.

“you were gonna.” she cut you off. you eyed her as she cooked, she didn’t face you.

“no i wasn’t, julien.” you said back, she turned off the burner and went back into your shared bedroom, slamming the door. what the fuck just happened? you stood there in shock for a moment. you looked at the half cooked food and you decide to let her think about whatever was causing her bad mood and finish cooking yourself.

[end of flashback]

lately, you guys had a lot of little petty arguments. about walking the dogs, what kind of food they were eating, your work schedule. you name it yall had a petty argument about it. lucy had told you guys you needed a date night after hearing yall fight one too many times. you guys liked the idea and settled for a night the two of you weren’t working.

it was a monday night, you both knew it was a weird night to go out but you figured any restaurants would be less crowded.

you got home early, around 4:30 and you got ready for your date that was supposed to be at 6. she still hadn’t got home at 5 and you sent her a text.

yn: hey baby, you leaving work soon?

she didn’t respond till 5:45.

jb: yeah, something is running later than expected, take an uber there. i’ll be there soon.

you got to the restaurant at 6:10 due to the uber being later than you expected. you waited outside the restaurant for her. you waited and waited and waited.

you texted her at 6:15.

yn: are you almost here?

you called her at 6:20. she didn’t answer, you started to realize she wasn’t coming. you waited another 10 minutes and you called her again at 6:30. you got no response.

yn: i’m going home.

julien saw that final text and felt her stomach drop to her toes. she knew she fucked up, but there was a specific sound she was trying to get in the studio and nothing was working the way she wanted it to. she knew she fucked up.

at home you took off your makeup, took off your cute clothes and threw your new lingerie you bought for tonight in the closet somewhere. you put on a hoodie that was no doubt hers and a pair of shorts, you curled up on the couch with some ice cream and watched crappy tv.

around 6:50 you heard the door open behind you. you didn’t turn around to see who it was. you knew it was julien, you could tell by the way the floor creaked under her step.

“baby— i’m so sorry. i fucked up bad.” she said gently as she walked over to the couch.

you turned to face her, your makeup smudged and what mascara you couldn’t get off running down your cheeks.

“baby— talk to me.” she pleaded with you. you sighed and placed the ice cream on the coffee table.

“you stood me up, jb.” you said softly, sounding hurt. it wasn’t so much the fact that she stood you up, it was all the constant arguing that was happening lately combined with the getting stood up.

“i know baby— and i’m sorry.” she said, she sat down on the couch, she was trying to get on your level. you met her gaze.

“do you still love me?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. her face fell as she realized how badly she fucked up.

“of course i do.” she said gently, she moved a hand to cup your cheek. “i know i’ve been very tense lately and i took it out on you a lot. and i’m sorry. but i still love you so so so much.” she said as she stroked your cheek.

“you’ve been fighting with me all the time and then when we finally have time to be together you leave me stranded.” you said, feeling fed up. “do you do that to the people you love? would you do that to lucy and phoebe?” you accused. she was dumbfounded by your words.

“no- i-i wouldn’t. but they also understand my job. you don’t.” she said back to you, you were both tense now.

“what, cause i can’t afford custom gucci suits i don’t ‘get’ you? has it ever occurred to you that maybe you don’t get me?” you snapped. you started to walk away. she gently grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“what do you even mean by that?” she asked you.

“you’ve never worked a real job in your life, jb, c’mon. you don’t get me, just like i could never get you. guess we should just fuckin break up, right?” you snapped again, taking your wrist from her grasp. she opened her mouth like she was gonna say something but closed it.

“yn, baby, i fucked up but, it’s not worth ending what we have. and you do get me. better than anyone. i shouldn’t have said that.” she said gently.

“what exactly do we have?” you snapped, you were really tired of all of the fighting. “cause lately, all we have are arguments, julien.” you said before she could answer.

“no we don’t.” she said, trying to plead with you.

“oh really? what happened when i had to work late? you picked a fight about me asking how you were doing.. and when i fed the dogs a different food you basically called me dumb. hell, you know it’s bad when lucy is trying to tell us we need to go on a date night to relieve some tension.” you spoke quickly. she knew you were right.

she sighed. “your right.” she said softly sounding defeated. “but i love you so much baby, even if i haven’t shown it lately. i really am sorry i’ve been so terrible lately.” she spoke gently and stepped a little closer to you.

you shook your head. “i don’t like feeling like i need to walk around on eggshells julien.” it dawned on you why she was acting this way, “did you stop taking your meds?” you asked gently. her blood ran cold.

“n-no i uh— i can explain” she stuttered.

“oh my god— julien, you can’t just do that.” you sighed, you wanted to still be angry with her but you knew that her attitude had a reason, and a good one at that. “you can’t go off your meds, especially when you’re working so much.” you said gently.

“i’m just trying to write good music.” she admitted softly. you shook your head.

“julien, you and i both know that’s not how that works.” you said gently, she started to protest. “ah ah— tell me, have you written anything you like since you stopped taking it?” you asked.

“i- no.” she said sounding defeated.

“please go back to taking them. please.” you said gently.

“fine.” she said softly. “can i she a hug from my favorite girl?” she asked gently as she held her arms open.

you hugged her tightly. “i’m sorry i stood you up baby. let’s try again, yeah?” she asked gently as she stroked your back.

#julien baker fluff #julien baker x reader #julien baker angst

[garbbitch]

just got stood up, expect some diabolical fan fiction

#julien baker x reader #julien baker angst

[garbbitch]

Mine

1/2

jb x reader

inspired by Guilty as Sin? by Taylor Swift

also!! happy lesbian visiblity week!

after a long night you were finally in bed at 11 and like clock work your mind drifted to the one person you shouldn't be thinking about. you tossed and turned as thoughts of her flooded your mind. her eyes, her lips, her nose, those fucking hands, her tattoos. it was almost a ritual for you at this point. you met her at an event with naomi, they had convinced you to go with them cause katie and jo were busy, but julien had been on your mind ever since.

you grunted and turned over in bed.

YN: i could kill you

NAOMI: what?

YN: this is all your fault

NAOMI: what're you even talking about?

YN: i feel like i've caught the pleauge 🤮

NAOMI: eww stay away from me

YN: UGH not acutally

YN: it's julien

NAOMI: huh?

YN: JULIEN

YN: she's all i can think about

YN: and its your fault.

YN: i'm loosing sleep

YN: and when i do finally sleep i dream about her

NAOMI: eek!

NAOMI: don't talk to me about your weird freky sex dreams

YN: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SEX DREAMS

NAOMI: well, are they?

YN: shut up

YN: i'm going to sleep.

NAOMI: need batteries?

YN: 🖕

You threw your phone at the wall and stared at the cieling. this shit sucks. you swore the ceiling started to look like her. i’m going insane.

your mind drifted to her again, thinking of the 2 second conversation you had with her, you could’ve sworn she was flirting with you, but when her attention was pulled elsewhere it killed any hope you had in your mind.

[flashback]

“go talk to her, she’s super chill” naomi said to you after watching you gawk at julien from across the room.

“no” you said simply. “it’ll kill me, i can’t” that made naomi laugh quite loud and you whacked their shoulder.

“shut up” you said back to them.

you psyched yourself up enough to go talk to her. she was wearing a tank top with a button-up over it, it wasn’t buttoned up though.

As you walked over you felt your stomach drop to your toes, you started to turn back to naomi who practically pushed you into julien.

"OH MY GOSH! sorry! i didn't see you there" you spoke quickly as you stepped back from her.

"it's alright, you're good," she said gently, turning to face you. you stumbled backward and she gently grabbed your waist. "careful" she said softly, smirking a little.

"thanks," you said, your cheeks felt like they were on fire, and you were no doubt blushing.

"oh, i'm sorry. where are my manners. i'm julien," she said as she took her hand off your waist.

"i'm YN," you said gently, she held out her hand to shake yours. you shook her hand, you were suddenly conscious of whether your palms were sweaty or not. her hand lingered on yours for a moment.

"nice to meet you," you said as you met her gaze. someone came by, you loosely recognized the person to be phoebe.

"lucy needs you for somethin," she spoke quickly, not even turning to see who julien was speaking to. phoebe quickly pulled her away leaving you in the dust.

you walked back to naomi, “i wanna leave.” you said gently. naomi looked at you concerned.

“what happened?” they asked with genuine confusion.

“i don’t even know, some person named lucy needed her for something.” you said softly, you were a little sad the conversation ended so abruptly.

[end of flashback]

now you were in bed, staring at the walls, at the ceiling, and the ground. trying to get her off your mind. you started to doze off, still thinking about the way she held your waist.

the feeling of her hand rattled around your sleepy mind until you were fully asleep. you had no doubt it was gonna make you dream about her… again.

you were back at that party, but it was just you and julien, you guys were standing together talking like you were before you were interrupted by phoebe.

“it’s nice to meet you,” she said gently, her hand was still on your waist and she held out her hand for you to shake it.

you shook her hand and she brought your hand to her lips to kiss your knuckles. you blushed and she smirked.

“well, yn, you’re very pretty” she said gently as she looked you in the eye.

“you’re not too bad yourself.” you said as you blushed even more. you not so subtly checked her out and she noticed immediately.

“my eyes are up here.” she said softly, she was teasing you, and you were just letting her. you blushed even more, you were convinced your face was beet red.

she chuckled, “you’re cute when you blush” she said gently, you were convinced you were gonna explode.

“th-thanks.” you stuttered. she chuckled again.

“can i kiss you, pretty girl?” she asked softly, you guys were standing close together and you subtly stepped closer. you nodded.

“i need words, babes.” she said gently.

“please?” you mumbled softly, she closed the small gap between her lips and yours. as you kissed you were brought to a bed of clouds, both you suddenly laying on it together. [an: shut up, ik it doesn’t work that way but it’s a dream] she gently deepened the kiss making you moan softly. you tangled your hands in her hair.

“julien—” you moaned her name softly. she gently caressed your cheek.

“what’s the matter, princess?” she asked gently. your cheeks flushed.

“jules, i need you” you mumbled, she kissed you again.

“so cute.” she whispered before kissing your cheek and moving her lips to your jaw and neck. you moaned and tangled your hands in her hair.

she gently tugged on your shirt and you pulled it off before she could say anything. her mouth watered at the sight of your tits in your bra.

“wow—” she breathed softly, “can i- uh, kiss them?” she asked softly, you nodded.

“words, babes, words.” she said gently as she toyed with the strap on your shoulder.

“please kiss my tits.” you said softly. she chuckled and pulled your bra off before kissing both tits, giving them equal attention. she sucked on one, as she fondled the other. you were squirming beneath her. she pushed her leg between your legs.

“oh fuck— julien!” you moaned out, she smirked up at you.

“enjoying yourself, princess?” she asked softly, you nodded and she laughed softly. “so fuckin cute” she whispered as she kissed your stomach and made her way to the top of your jeans. you felt like you were on cloud nine.

“fuck julien—” you moaned. she looked at you with a smirk.

“what’s the matter baby?” she asked gently as she ran a tattooed finger over the button of your jeans. you whined softly. “words baby” she chastised.

“please j, please” you whined softly, she unbuttoned your pants real slow, kissing your hips and upper thighs as she pulled them down. you tried to move your hips in an attempt to get any friction where you needed her.

“so naughty” she teased.

your alarm went off and you groaned. fuck this. you tiredly walked to where you threw your phone the previous night.

UNKNOWN #: hey! it’s julien, from that party the other day.

UNKNOWN #: is this yours? [insert picture of a hair-clip]

your stomach did a backflip. what the fuck?

[THE END]

AN: don’t be mad at me for the abrupt end. there’s a reason.

#julien baker fluff #julien baker smut #julien baker x reader

[garbbitch]

still here with the toothpick btw

[garbbitch]

i have come to the conclusion that the hayley and julien versions of thick skull are too different to compare

[garbbitch]

my gender is that last “i’m sorry” in boygeniuses’ “emily i’m sorry”

[garbbitch]

this is really me coded

paige bueckers and julien 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

had a thot that soft!gf who is also contro young!gf would have the FATTEST crush on paige bueckers and julien would get so uncharacteristically jealous oops

jb canon:

“why do you like her so much 😠”

“is it because she’s taller than me��”

“i thought you liked short guys😔”

[garbbitch]

If my younger self watched the videos of boygenius kissing I don’t think it would have taken me so long to figure out I like girls.

Like when I was 16 and starting to question my sexuality the only girls kissing videos I could find were very much for the male gaze and I thought they were gross. But the True Blue video? The Night Shift video? The boys kissing every night at the end of their shows? That shit is for the female gaze (and the female gays). I wish I had that kind of quality content when I went through the fateful ‘googling girls kissing’ phase of questioning.

[garbbitch]

feeling inspired

be scared

#julien baker fluff #julien baker smut #julien baker x reader

[garbbitch]

[garbbitch]

thinking about—*gunshots*

[garbbitch]

oh my god

[garbbitch]

Julien Baker Track by Track - An Interview with Apple Music

“Everybody is scared of death or ultimate oblivion, whether you want to admit it or not,” Julien Baker tells Apple Music. “That’s motivated by a fear of uncertainty, of what’s beyond our realm of understanding—whatever it feels like to be dead or before we're born, that liminal space. It's the root of so much escapism.”

On her third full-length, Baker embraces fuller arrangements and a full-band approach, without sacrificing any of the intimacy that galvanised her earlier work. The result is at once a cathartic and unabashedly bleak look at how we distract ourselves from the darkness of voids both large and small, universal and personal.

“It was easier to just write for the means of sifting through personal difficulties,” she says. “There were a lot of paradigm shifts in my understanding of the world in 2019 that were really painful. I think one of the easiest ways to overcome your pain is to assign significance to it. But sometimes, things are awful with no explanation, and to intellectualise them kind of invalidates the realness of the suffering. I just let things be sad.”

Here, the Tennessee singer-songwriter walks us through the album track by track.

Hardline

“It’s more of a confession booth song, which a lot of these are. I feel like whenever I imagine myself in a pulpit, I don't have a lot to say that's honest or useful. And when I imagine myself in a position of disclosing, in order to bring me closer to a person, that's when I have a lot to say.”

Heatwave

“I wrote it about being stuck in traffic and having a full-on panic attack. But what was causing the delay was just this car that had a factory defect and bomb-style exploded. I was like, ‘Man, someone got incinerated. A family maybe.’ The song feels like a fall, but it's born from the second verse where I feel like I'm just walking around with my knees in gravel or whatever the verse in Isaiah happens to be: the willing submission to suffering and then looking around at all these people's suffering, thinking that is a huge obstacle to my faith and my understanding, this insanity and unexplainable hurt that we're trying to heal with ideology instead of action.”

Faith Healer

“I have an addictive personality and I understand it's easy for me to be an escapist with substances because I literally missed being high. That was a real feeling that I felt and a feeling that felt taboo to say outside of conversations with other people in recovery. The more that I looked at the space that was left by substance or compulsion that I've then just filled with something else, the more I realised that this is a recurring problem in my personality. And so many of the things that I thought about myself that were noble or ultimately just my pursuit of knowing God and the nature of God—that craving and obsession is trying to assuage the same pain that alcohol or any prescription medication is.”

Relative Fiction

“The identity that I have worked so hard to cultivate as a good person or a kind person is all basically just my own homespun mythology about myself that I'm trying to use to inspire other people to be kinder to each other. Maybe what's true about me is true about other people, but this song specifically is a ruthless evaluation of myself and what I thought made me principled. It's kind of a fool's errand.”

Crying Wolf

“It's documenting what it feels like to be in a cyclical relationship, particularly with substances. There was a time in my life, for almost a whole year, where it felt like that. I think that is a very real place that a lot of people who struggle with substance use find themselves in, where the resolution of every day is the same and you just can’t seem to make it stick.”

Bloodshot

“The very first line of the song is talking about two intoxicated people—myself being one of them—looking at each other and me having this out-of-body experience, knowing that we are both bringing to our perception of the other what we need the other person to be. That's a really lonely and sad place to be in, the realisation that we're each just kind of sculpting our own mythologies about the world, crafting our narratives.”

Ringside

“I have a few tics that manifest themselves with my anxiety and OCD, and for a long time, I would just straight-up punch myself in the head—and I would do it onstage. It's this extension of physicality from something that's fundamentally compulsive that you can't control. I can't stop myself from doing that, and I feel really embarrassed about it. And for some reason I also can't stop myself from doing other kinds of more complicated self-punishment, like getting into co-dependent relationships and treating each one of those like a lottery ticket. Like, 'Maybe this one will work out.'”

Favor

“I have a friend whose parents live in Jackson, where my parents live. They’re one of my closest friends and they were around for the super dark part of 2019. I'll try to talk to the person who I hurt or I'll try to admit the wrongdoing that I've done. I'll feel so much guilt about it that I'll cry. And then I'll hate that I've cried because now it seems manipulative. I'm self-conscious about looking like I hate myself too much for the wrong things I've done because then I kind of steal the person's right to be angry. I don't want to cry my way out of shit.”

Song in E

“I would rather you shout at me like an equal and allow me to inhabit this imagined persona I have where I'm evil. Because then, if I can confirm that you hate me and that I'm evil and I've failed, then I don't any longer have to deal with the responsibility of trying to be good. I don't any longer have to be saddled with accountability for hurting you as a friend. It’s something not balancing in the arithmetic of my brain, for sin and retribution, for crime and punishment. And it indebts you to a person and ties you to them to be forgiven.”

Repeat

“I tried so hard for so long not to write a tour song, because that's an experience that musicians always write about that's kind of inaccessible to people who don't tour. We were in Germany and I was thinking: Why did I choose this? Why did I choose to rehash the most emotionally loaded parts of my life on a stage in front of people? But that's what rumination is. These are the pains I will continue to experience, on some level, because they're familiar.”

Highlight Reel

“I was in the back of a cab in New York City and I started having a panic attack and I had to get out and walk. The highlight reel that I'm talking about is all of my biggest mistakes, and that part—‘when I die, you can tell me how much is a lie’—is when I retrace things that I have screwed up in my life. I can watch it on an endless loop and I can torture myself that way. Or I can try to extract the lessons, however painful, and just assimilate those into my trying to be better. That sounds kind of corny, but it's really just, what other options do you have except to sit there and stare down all your mistakes every night and every day?”

Ziptie

“I was watching people be restrained with zip ties on the news. It's just such a visceral image of violence to see people put restraints on another human being—on a demonstrator, on a person who is mentally ill, on a person who is just minding their own business, on a person who is being racially profiled. I had a dark, funny thought that's like, what if God could go back and be like, ‘Y'all aren't going to listen.’ Jesus sacrificed himself and everybody in the United States seems to take that as a true fact, and then shoot people in cold blood in the street. I was just like, ‘Why?’ When will you call off the quest to change people that are so horrid to each other?”

(x)

[garbbitch]

hey idk if you know this and I wanted to let you know just in case you didn’t but you have the suggest your account thing on for links on tiktok so anyone who clicks on the link can see ur account

does anyone know how to turn that feature off?

[garbbitch]

YALLL

#julien baker #boygenius

[garbbitch]

loving her little side quests

julien being the most active of the three so far this year is so funny but like get it girl personally i’ve never been happier

[garbbitch]

my goal this summer is to be a chappell roan lesbian instead of a boygenius lesbian