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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Welcome back!!
I hope you’re doing well and that everything is okay! I wanted to say that I’m glad that you’re retuning, don’t push yourself tho! We will be patient and wait for your amazing work! Sending all the best vibes!! 💜
Thank you!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Hi guys I’ve been MIA but I do wanna eventually post again 🫶🏾 so much has changed haha.
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Hi, I just wanted to tell you that your Naruto series is amazing! The writing is incredible and the story truly broke my heart. Thank you for writing something so amazing!
Thank you for this! I am very absent right now because I’m about to graduate!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Something is in the works !!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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your writing is so good ❤️
🥺😭❤️
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Hi, hi!! Just dropping by to say that I just read your Naruto series and it's just?? So good???
The angst was immaculate, the interaction between y/n and naruto were so dkfndnsjsj, they really broke my heart! I really love reading angst and I feel like this was just what I needed ngl. It was so good, my heart literally ached omg (like when y/n realized Ino and Sakura aren't her friends (even though I like to think they are to some extent idk 🥺) that really got to me.
(and the fact that y/n actually has a background, friends and family of her own? *chef's kiss*)
Putting my fangirling aside, I loved it. You really delivered with those two parts 💖 I'm already very excited to see how it will end.
Never even realized this was in my ask box but this made me so happy 🥺🥺🥺
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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In the 2 years reader was gone did naruto date hinata? If so how long after reader left? How long did it last? How/why did they break up? Are they still friends?
🐹 from @multi-fandom-fanfic
This is a good question 👀 if I do write a epilogue for this story, I’ll probably do a flashback or maybe even a prologue of some sort to address the time skip.
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Please make a epilogue for Naruto’s “Time” series
I’ve thought about it! It’s def a possibility. I wanna write something for Kakashi next though! But it’s very likely I will write an epilogue for that series!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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More Shikamaru fics pleasssseeee 😭😭😭
By the way, I love the Epilogue of Dragging series. Keep going! You're a great writer ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I love Shikamaru so of course!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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You & I.
Just a little Epilogue to the “Dragging” Series that I wrote a while back- which can be found here! Part One,  Part Two, &  Part 3 <3
Word Count: 860
Warnings: fluff & cuteness :)
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"ohh! look at this arrangement!”
We all sat at the table in Shikamaru’s mothers house as her and Ino gushed about flowers. Shikamaru laid his head on the table sighing. I look over at him, feeling his pain. Hey- don’t get me wrong, I was excited to get married but Ino and Yoshino were taking it to a whole new level..
“I think the first one you showed were beautiful Ino! We should go with those, right Shikamaru?” I glance over to see him fully asleep by now and I sigh. Ino follows my eyes to the resting man and clenches her fist. “Hey idiot! It’s your wedding too! wake the hell up! right now!” When he makes no movement she growls, swinging her arm back and smacking Shikamaru right on his head. “Get up!” she yells. I watch in horror as he grabs his head groaning, giving some serious side eye to the blonde. 
“What a drag Ino, they’re just flowers.” She gasps and lunges for him again as I hold up my hands. “Guys! wait! We can finish this another day!” I nervously laughed, holding my hands up as the two teammates bickered. This was getting out of hand. “Fine.” Ino huffs out as Shikamaru rubs his head. “We can focus on other things. (Y/N), did your alterations go well?” she asked me excitingly. The alterations... I found my dress surprisingly fast, my friends screaming and crying tears of joy behind me.
“Yeah,” I breathed out looking at Shikamaru. “It went smoothly, everything fit perfectly.” I hum out, reaching for my soon to be husbands hand. He smiled at me sheepishly. “I think it’s time for us to get going, thanks for the help guys.” I say turning to smile at his mother and our trusted friend. “Oooh! don’t forget about cake tasting tomorrow though, Okay? Have a safe trip home!” Ino rambles at us. Yoshino stands to give Shikamaru a hug “I’m so proud of you! I never thought you’d be having a wedding of all things!” I could see his face heating up as he tried to pry his mother off of him. I laugh at their exchange, hugging Ino quickly and dragging him out the door.
We walked home slowly, hand in hand, It was peaceful. When we finally made it home, he sighed loudly. “These wedding preparations are going to be the death of me, they’re so troublesome.” I raise my eyebrow at him “Oh? So what you’re saying is that you don’t want to marry me? Ouch. Geez after all you went through to get this ring back on my finger?” I tease him wiggling my ring finger as I clutch my chest dramatically. His eyes widened as he took in my joke and he chuckles soft and lowly. “And you’ll never be taking that shit off ever again. How troublesome of you to be making jokes when I’m in a crisis, (Y/N).” I wiggle my way up to the man. “A crisis you say? Tell me more..” I whisper.
“The planning is driving me crazy, there’s so much to do.. but If I have to do this to marry you then so be it. I just wish It was simpler.” I tilt my head back and look up at him as he speaks almost stuck in a trance, just him and I. “But what if it was simple.” He furrowed his brows at me. “Yeah right, with Ino and my mother- nothing will ever be simple.” I smiled deviously at him, moving my hand up to cup his cheek. “It can be anything we want it to be, Isn’t it about our love?” A slow smile spread across his face as he understood what I was saying, leaning down and capturing my lips with his.
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I smoothed down my dress as I looked in the mirror, Shikamaru coming behind and wrapping his arounds around me, bending down to drop a kiss to my cheek he catches my gaze in the mirror. “You look breathtaking.” I smile as I take in his appearance as well, hair tied neatly and a well tailored suit. “And you look too good in a suit, you should wear one more often.” He snorts and quickly pecks my lips.
“You know they’re going to kill us right?” He says taking a step back. I smirk at him before responding. “Till death do us part.” I joke back. We were in a hotel room, getting ready to elope. Just the two of us. After almost losing him, I couldn’t care less about how we got married. I didn’t care for the theatrics, I just wanted to be with him. Simple and plain. Complicated was so not our style. “Come on.” He says, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the room. I smiled as he led the way, not a nervous bone in my body, not a single regret in my head. Just the steady beat of my heart, the blush on my cheeks and the stinging of my face from an over used smile.
Yeah, I could die peacefully at the hands of Ino and Yoshino.
The end.
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Thanks for reading! Until next time! xoxox,
lemme know if any of the links for the other parts aren’t working!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Hey!
I wrote an epilogue to my dragging series that I did about shikamaru ages ago and just never got around to posting it.
I’ve been gone a while so I’m probably gonna clear out my drafts I was too afraid to post so I might stop that either today or sometime tomorrow!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Happy Black History Month! This blog is run by a proud black girl!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Time Warp
Part 3 to "Better in time" and “Time Bomb”
Part 1, Part 2
Word Count: 7.4k
Warning(s): Angst, cheating, swearing, and possibly some spoilers??? (idk man)
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I let out a breath as I pulled the window covering down and leaned my head against the door. I rolled my eyes before swiftly closing them. I expected the idiot to be in a happy relationship by now, our romance long forgotten. At least that would’ve forced me to get over him, but no- here we were, arguing in a hospital hallway for fucks sake.
"Lovers quarrel?"
The smug voice reached my ears prompting another eye roll. I turn around smirking, "You wake up from a medical induced coma and the first thing you do is make a smart ass comment? Typical." I cross my arms, smiling as I made my way over to the bed. "I mean, what's a show without some commentary? and you two seemed to be putting on a pretty good one out there." He says with a smirk on his bruised face.
"Careful, smirk any harder and I might have to call the medical staff in for some pain medication." I teased as I finally took my original seat by his bedside. He laughs but it's cut short by a groan of pain and I furrow my brows, visibly upset that he's hurting. He glances in my direction and snorts. "Don't get all uptight, I'm alright." he spoke softly, trying to ease my guiltiness. I let a breath go and shook my head, "Yeah, I know.. but I'm still not all too happy about my baby brother being injured, especially from a hit that was supposed to be for me." I finish, narrowing my eyes at him.
"You're only older by like.. two minutes!"
"Omi! That is so not the point!" I bring a hand to my forehead, "You're my baby brother, Omi- I should be protecting you. This is my mess not yours." No matter how much reassurance I got, I will still uneasy. Omi was my only family left and the thought of him being taken away made me nauseous. I leaned in and grabbed his hand. "Seriously, don't put yourself in danger for me." I scold the boy.
"Why (Y/N), why do you always do that?" His sudden outburst caught me by surprise. "What... do you mean?" I asked slowly in confusion, not fully grasping what he was going on about. I let go of his hand as a frown spread across my face. "Act like.. this!" he emphasizes, waving a hand in my direction. I cross my arms, feeling insulted at his choice of words. "Act like what? a concerned sister? because if thats what you're getting at- It'll never stop, so you can just get over it. now." I sternly tell my sibling. He shakes his head, irritation clearly evident.
"No, not that- (Y/N)." He pauses bringing a hand up to his face in frustration. Let out a huff of breath he turns his head to me and smiles sadly. "You don’t have to walk around like the weight of the world is all on your shoulders. Sometimes you have to let others look after you- or you’ll tear yourself apart. You constantly tell Karui and I how you couldn't live if something happened to us, but how do you think we would feel if something happened to you, huh?" He sat up, slightly groaning in pain, I move to hit the call button, but he holds his hand up in disagreement. "You know- I wasn't the only one that ran to your defense in that battle. You do know that right? There are so many people here that care-"
"Really Omi? You can't be serious right now. Cut the crap, you were just arguing with Naruto before the attack. You think the people care about me here? Ha! We are going back to the Cloud and away from this mess!" I didn't know what had gotten into Omi, but wasn't laying injured in a hospital bed enough for him? His laughter took me by surprise as my eyes widened.
"If you think returning to the Cloud will fix all your problems, then maybe you suffered more injuries than I could've ever prevented."
"It is my home! How dare you!" I scream, my eyes watering up at his harsh tone.
"You were miserable there! I won't watch you wither away because you're running from your problems!"
"I didn't run, I was pushed!" 
The screeching of the chair filled the air as I quickly stood up, clenching my fist as my tears threatened to spill."I can’t fight with you both of you today." I whispered. 
"I will be back tomorrow, get some rest. Little brother."
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I dreaded the walk back, since when was Omi a ‘rational’ thinker? I could kick a rock and that boy would think I’d cause an earthquake! As I opened the hospital doors and the cold air hit my face, I sighed in relief. I dragged my tired legs through the familiar path to my apartment. The village had made a quick effort in repairing the damage, I could barely tell there was ever even an attack.  I kicked at the dirt, dragging my feet as I kept my head down, slowly making my way home.
Finally reaching the apartment, I stuck my key into the knob- only to find it already unlocked. I immediately rolled my eyes, anticipating another argument with the persistent blonde, how the hell did he beat me here though? I pushed the door open, my eyes darting around until they landed to a spot on the couch. Her long black hair fell down her shoulders as she sat gracefully on my couch, her hands crossed in her lap.
“Let me guess, Naruto gave you the key?” I was instantly pissed, playing musical chairs with my keys now? From my delightful conversation with Naruto to my loving reunion with my brother, I beyond was done for the day. I just wanted to go to sleep, and instead- I’m greeted with an intruder. “I may have borrowed it.” her voice was soft, but held a sense of inner confidence. I could tell she had been preparing herself for this, which only added to my irritation- because I wasn’t prepared at all.
“Hinata, I don’t have an issue with you. Let’s not make one, okay?” I told her outright. I specifically tried to keep the issue between Naruto and I, but it seemed that the harder I tried to keep everyone out of it, the more they were ultimately sucked in. “You know what? How about I take that key off your hands so everyone can stop having field day in my place, mkay?” I step forward, spotting the key and snatching it from the coffee table. I turn, walking to the nearest drawer and tossing it in there, craning my neck and raising a brow in Hinata’s direction as I hear her clearing her throat.
“I came to talk to you.” she said it so simply, like everything is just so sweet and I didn’t like that shit at all.
I promptly slam the drawer shut in annoyance, “About Naruto I assume? Listen, if you came to have a woman to woman talk, It’s not going to happen.” I was so sick and tired of everything being about Naruto, it was giving me a migraine. “If you wanted to talk about him with me- It should’ve happened way before you two did what you did.” I walk towards her crossing my arms across my chest. “So what is it? Want my recommendation for the next color scarf you’re knitting for him? He looks great in orange.” I remark, stopping a couple feet near her. The silence filled the air around us as I stood there staring her down. When she failed to respond I rolled my eyes. “You let yourself in, you can let yourself out.” I sneered at her. I was going to let her off the hook, but somehow she managed to insert herself back into my life. As I turned by back I hear her speak up.
“I’ve loved him since we were kids.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, not daring to turn around to face her. The words ringing in my head. “But he never saw me, he never got it.. but on that mission I felt like he finally saw me, like he knew my feelings- that he felt it too.” I kept staring forward, slowly shaking my head in disbelief, what did she gain from this? Naruto and I were already broken up, I was already at my lowest, I was leaving! “So I kissed him.” and that was my breaking point. I whipped around opening my mouth, but she beat me to it, “And.. and It felt real, and I felt like we had a chance and-” She stopped abruptly her voice trembling slightly before continuing. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean to disrespect your relationship. I just- I love him so much. I just wanted him to see that.” I bring a hand to my forehead, feeling the heat rising to my head. “(Y/N), I’m so sor-”
“That. Is. Enough!” I finally exploded. “Hinata, seriously- what does apologizing do?” I threw my arms up in defeat. “I’m not going there with you. What’s done, is done. You never owed me any loyalty but- fuck! you at least owed me so fucking respect! Some decency! Fuck disrespecting the relationship Hinata! You, Naruto and all your little fucking friends disrespected me!” I let out a deep breath as my frown deepens, “Every single thing I’ve done- every little fucking thing I’ve done for this village, a village I wasn’t even born to, was disrespected- do you understand that?” I hissed out. 
Hinata quickly stood up from her spot on my couch, ignoring my last remark and I clenched my fists as I watched her step closer to me before speaking up once again, “But it all changed when you left.. because when you left he fell apart.. all I did was confuse him!” I scoffed and add an eye roll along with it. “Yeah, because he realized I wouldn’t sit on the back burner for him. Let him be confused, I don’t care. If he had decided to be with you, then I wouldn’t be a second thought to you.” I wanted to be alone. now. “Hinata, you should go- really, and just forget about this- because I sure will,” I point between the both of us, “Seriously, you need to leave- before we say some things we can’t take back.” The insults rested on the tip of my tongue. One more push would send me tumbling over to the dark side, things were bound to get nasty. I couldn’t hold my peace forever. She slowly nodded her head, making her way to the door, placing her hand on the knob before pausing, “Naruto always does the right thing, and i think happened was just his way of trying to make it up to me, even though his heart clearly wasn't mine to hold. If you leave- for good this time, he will never recover, he has already has lost so much.”
“Well.. then I’m so very glad that he has you to comfort him.” 
and with that, she slipped out the door.
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Alone at last, I straighten out the spot on the couch that was previously occupied, being slightly over-aggressive with the pillows out of my own anger and frustration. I turn the lock on the door, before scurrying to my bedroom. I had lost all sense of any appetite, so I decided to turn in for the night. Since when was my life this dramatic? I was a simple girl from the cloud, always laughing and having a good time. I felt like a shell of the girl I used to be, everything felt so repetitive, and more so- my fault. Yeah, fuck that feeling- this was not my fault. How dare she blame me for their mistakes, he’s lost so much huh? Well apparently I didn’t mean that much to him anyways.
By the time I made it to my bedroom, I was angry all over again. My apartment was supposed to be my safe haven, but it seemed to be my own personal hell lately. Everything bad seemed to be happening here, a revolving door for trauma to enter and leave as it pleases. I groaned as I thought of speaking with the Hokage, would he even let me leave? I had been gone for three stupid months already- he had granted me that much, but to leave for good? I’m going to have to beg on my knees and vow to never pick up another shuriken for as long as I lived. My mind flashes back to what Omi had said. I might of been miserable, but being here is unbearable. I missed him and it sucked. It really fucking sucked because didn’t deserve it. I mean who tells their girlfriend that they need time to sort out their feelings, the idiot, the nerve. At this point I don’t even think the boy even knew what love even was- and he fucking kissed her, the bastard!
Naruto was my first boyfriend, my first kiss- my first everything. So maybe it was me who didn’t know what love was. Maybe I needed to branch out and find out what I wanted, and it surely wasn’t a daily headache. Or- maybe when the shinobi world was in complete and utter shambles, it just wasn’t the time or place to find love. I flopped back onto my bed, wincing slightly as my bruised ribs came in contact with the mattress. I raised my arms and placed them behind my head, lost In my scattered mind. He has such a way with words, he even has Omi on his side now, but he’s never seemed to say the right thing to me. I turned my head to the side when it came into my line of view- the trashcan overflowing with crumpled up papers.
“I wrote to you everyday.”
“Did you even read what I wrote you?”
And I knew that I shouldn’t. I knew that I really shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help but to be curious- it was three months of hell. Sure- I was happy to be home, but I still had things lingering in the back of my mind of course, things left unsaid. The letters piled up everyday, I had no clue how he was sending them so fast, but they were there. It was so incredibly hard to toss them. I held the first one in my hands for the whole day before I threw it out, I barely glanced at the others to save myself from the pain. I threw my hands over my eyes and squeezed them shut, debating with myself before huffing and pulling myself up into a sitting position. I tug myself up and off my bed as I approached the small wooden desk across the room.
Just get it over with, geez!
I grab the overflowing trash bin, lifting it up and dumping the contents onto the desk in one motion. I snatch the first crumpled up piece of paper, the chair screeched as I pushed it back and made myself comfortable before I proceeded to ruined my day for the fourth time. I uncrumple the first paper, smoothing it out as best as possible as the chicken scratch handwriting came into view, typical Naruto. I squinted as tried to make out the writing.
“(Y/N),
I know you need your space and I’m giving it to you, but please come back. You said you wished you never met me and right now, I’m wishing that I never met myself either, I can’t even look in the mirror. I didn’t want to leave your house that night I swear. I didn’t want to leave you distressed, but I knew my presence was making it worse, (Y/N), I-”
I strained my eyes trying to read more of it, but it was cut short, the end of it scribbled over and smudged. I shook my head, grabbing another crumpled up paper and starting again.
“(Y/N),
It’s been two months and I haven’t heard a word from you- but I’ll never stop writing, not until you come back- you belong here. I’ve been staying in your house because it reminds me of you, I still have your key. I had to beg Chōji to write to karui and ask how you were, I know I shouldn’t of but I needed to know you were okay. If you don’t come back soon I’ll-.”
Damn it! He didn’t finish this one either, identical scribbles and crossing out of words at the bottom of the letter. With a frustrated breath, I crumple the paper up once again and toss it back into the bin, snatching a new one up in replacement. And he knew about Chōji and Karui before me! I balled my fist as I placed and elbow on the table and lean my head into it as I start to read again.  
“(Y/N),
I need you to understand this whole time thing. I’m an idiot, I didn’t mean that I needed time to think about my feelings for you, (Y/N). I have been in love with you since I was 16. Being Hokage is no-”
I crumpled the paper up and tossed it to the floor, pausing before sweeping the rest of the letters back into the trashcan with the back of my arm. Now- that letter wasn’t finished, don’t get me wrong, there was more to read but I didn’t want to hear it. My frustration started bubbling up as I cross my arms and frown deeply. If I had to hear the word time again, I was going to explode. This was pointless and I shouldn’t of wasted my energy. I stood abruptly, sending the wooden chair back as I walked over to the light switch and flick it off. It had been three months, but my muscle memory guided me to my bed as I snuggled up and turned in for the night.
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It was warm and the sun was shining brightly, the village was lively as everyone stepped out to enjoy the warmth. Children giggling and weaving through the busy adults as they chased each other through the streets. A stark contrast from the events occurring the week prior. I smiled waving to the little ones as they ran around me, blushing, laughing and waving back to me. I stopped, turning my head and watched them run off. So careless and free, no troubles. In a way, I guess I envied them. As they disappeared into the crowds I regained my concentration, turning my head back around before pausing,
“What do you want, Nara?”
I sharply question the man who was now blocking my path and my sunlight. I scrunched my nose, quickly fanning my hand in front of my face. “Geez, do you have to smoke right here? Doesn’t take a genius to know smoking is horrible for you.” I remark to the raven haired man. He flicks the cigarette to the ground, stomping out the light. I begin to protest to his littering before he snatched the bud up and tossed it in a trashcan that I hadn’t even noticed beside me. I cross my arms and raise a bow before I repeat myself, “I said, what do you want Nara?” I hissed out, annoyed that he was in my way- why is someone always in my way! 
“If you’re on your way to beg the Hokage to leave, there’s a slim chance in hell that’ll ever happen. Your vacation time is over.” He bluntly remarked to me. I immediately drop my arms in irritation. Of course he knew what I was doing, the annoying little prodigy. “You know a lot of things, don’t you shikamaru?” I let the bitter words leave my mouth, slightly narrowing my eyes at the man. “And it wasn’t a vacation, I was home. And I plan on being there again, permanently. Plus- it’s none of your concern.” I made sure to lace my annoyance in my tone. He’s surely sticking his nose in my business right now. Where was this energy after that mission? He lets out an annoyed sigh and my frown deepened. Why was he annoyed? He was the one harassing me!
He studied my face for a moment before letting out a sarcastic snort, “You have no idea, do you?” I face swirled into confusion as I clenched my fists, I didn’t appreciate the surprise, or his tone. “Move.” I demanded, taking a step closer. When he failed to respond I push my way around him. I made it about three steps before he called out to me, “You know, Naruto is supposed to be the seventh.” I whip back around, “Excuse me, but- what the fuck, does that have to do with me?” I shouted, “Good for him! Is this what you interrupted my day for?”.
“Kinda gonna be hard to be the Hokage when you’re in the cloud.”
I froze, that idiot. My mind was racing as I thought back to the letters. “If you don’t come back soon I’ll-.” And that’s what he meant, if I didn’t come back soon- He’d follow me. 
I put up a brave front, hiding my shock and annoyance behind a blank stare. “And what would you like me to do about that Shikamaru?” He looked at me, seeing straight through my facade being the smug genius that he is. “Naruto might be an idiot sometimes, but I’d trust that guy with my life.” I rolled my eyes, unbelievable. “So he’s a good shinobi, but a shit boyfriend- is that all?”. We stood there, glaring hard at each other as we waited for the other one to break.
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I balled my fist before I slammed it against the door a couple times, waiting a few seconds before repeating the process. As I waited at the idiots door, my impatience and anger grew intensely. I could hear his lazy foot steps approach the door. He swung it open and I didn’t even give him a chance before I forced my way inside the apartment. I looked around, finding many things missing- just as I expected, he was packing! I shook my head, my fear and anxiety creeping up on me. How could he do this? I turn to him as I let out a hopeless sigh. “What are you doing?” I demand. His eyes dart around my face as he tries to gauge my reaction. “I’m packing.”
“How could you be so.. selfish!” He had taken one home from me, now he wanted to take another? Did he not understand that I was trying to get away from him? “You are not coming to the cloud, you belong here. This is just delusional- you think Kakashi is going to just let you up and leave?”
“That’s what you did.”
I let out a defeated sigh, as I looked at him. “I can’t be your second choice, Naruto. You can’t force me to be your second choice!” He stepped forward, clinching his fists as he tried to force eye contact. “It’s not like that.” He stressed to me. My lip curled, my anger swelling up once again as I tried my best to contain myself,  “Being hokage is your dream,” I close my eyes, losing my fight with my anger as the bitterness starts to seep out. “Don’t throw it away.. especially not for a girl you didn’t give a second thought about while you were sweeping another one off of her feet.” I let the angry sentence roll out my mouth before I even knew it. 
“I wasn’t sweeping her off of her fucking feet!” He growled at me, throwing his arms up. I could feel his entire demeanor changing and I instantly stopped speaking. He huffed, backing up and running his fingers through his hair and over his face in frustration. “I always try to do the right thing, even when everyone in the village hated my fucking guts.” He rambled to himself, but I refused to back down from him, I exploded right back at him.
“Then you should’ve been the one to tell me about the kiss, I shouldn’t of had to hear it from Ino. Do you realize what that did to me? Then you ask me for time, but refuse to give me mine?” I understood his struggle, I understood where he came from- how far he’s come- I really did, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior and how much I was hurting.
“So what?!” He yells out, causing me to shrink back a little, slightly frightened at the tone and volume of his voice. “What do you want me to do? Marry Hinata? Is that what you want me to do? Do you want me to be with her? You’re telling me that this would make you happy?” He roughly questioned me with balled fists and a heavy frown upon his face.
His words frightened me, my chest hurting at the thought of that truly happening, “You think this is easy for me, Naruto? Because to me, it feels like you seem to think that somehow I’m the one getting off easy. Leaving is as hard as being left! How dare you hold your relationship with her above my head!” I roughly wipe at my cheeks, smearing the salty tears across face as I tried to hold it together, he was fighting dirty. Noticing my tears, his expression softened as he unclenched his fist moving and moved closer to me. He lifted his hand, swiping his thumb across my cheek and searching my eyes. He let out a sigh, but doesn’t say anything. slowly, he leaned forward- but at the last minute, I turn my head as his lips land on my cheek, my tears now flowing freely down my flushed face. He quickly dropped his hand as he stepped back with a crestfallen look upon his face as he observed me.
“I don’t want to be the reason you’re crying, I hate being the reason you’re crying.” He stressed, running a hand down his whiskered cheek. “Hinata visited me.” I let out in a low whisper as I fiddled with my fingers. He frantically pats his pants pockets, realizing the key was missing and panicking. “(Y/N)- I promise I didn’t give her the key. I just wasn’t thinking about it with the attack and everything, ya know? she must have swiped it, I’m so sorry-”
“Just stop, please I-” I took a deep breath, “I know you didn’t give it to her, she told me you didn’t.” I crossed my arms, tucking my hands underneath as I took a step forward. “She said something that struck me.” I started. nervously tilting my head, “She said that you always do the right thing, even if your heart clearly isn’t in it.” I shook my head, a slight frown gracing my face. “And it didn’t sit right with me.” I could see the confusion cross his face. “Because the Naruto that I know, the Naruto that I loved- you see, he put his heart into everything he did. He’s the most passionate person that I have met- so make it make sense to me. Naruto. What happened?” I demanded.
“I could count on one hand the number of people who have told me that they loved me and meant it.” He confessed to me, taking a seat on the couch and gesturing for me to join. I hesitated, but eventually I sat down. He eyes my hands and I knew he wanted to grab them, I folded my arms once again, tucking them away. “When we were on that mission, and Hinata said she loved me, I knew she meant it- and yeah we kissed and it was wrong. I had you waiting back at home for me, It shouldn’t of happened- but it caught me off guard.” He paused, trying to gauge my reaction before he continued. “But the thing that scared me the most was... that when she said that she loved me... I wasn’t surprised, it was like I knew it deep down. Yeah, It was unexpected, I never even thought of her in that way, I love you... but it was like somehow I knew she loved me and I repressed it, I didn’t understand it and I wanted to.” I was shocked, was he trying to confess his true feelings for her right in front of me?
“Naruto, thats enough- really.” I really wanted him to stop, I couldn’t take much more.
He continued right over my words, “And I’m not saying that I felt bad for her, because that’s not why it happened but- I wanted to give her a fair chance of sorting it out without hurting you, but it was already too late and I didn’t know how to say it. My intention wasn’t to be with her, I just.. It took me back to my childhood, maybe I wasn’t as alone as I felt.” He let out a sigh, “I don’t know how to fix this, but I desperately want to. When I told you I needed time, it was selfish. I asked for time- space, and I didn’t give you yours. I knew I coming I acted like it was my decision when it was yours, I was the one that stepped out on you, intentionally or not.” I stayed silent, watching him nervously fiddle with his hands. He reached forward, testing the waters as he slowly grabbed my hand. “If you don’t want me to follow you to the Cloud, I’ll respect that and I’l be here waiting, ya know? I always thought I was good with words, but when it comes to you- I am absolutely at a loss for them.” He concluded.
I shook his hand off of mine, dropping my shoulders in defeat and letting out a quiet, yet frustrated groan to which he widened his eyes at. I balled my hands into two tight fists as I took a shallow breath. I looked up at the ceiling as I tried to pull my tears back. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him reaching for me as I jerked back, “Don’t.” I let out, grimacing as I hear my voice crack. I quickly stood, feeling the energy in the room shift.
“Bullshit.”
I didn’t think his blue eyes could get any bigger than in that moment. “I don’t believe you.” A hardened expression on my face as I stared him down. “You’ve embarrassed me in front of all your friends- in front of the entire village. Looking at me with pity, like I was the other woman, like they just knew this was coming, so don’t sit here and try to feed me this bullshit.” By this time, I was fuming. It felt like that night back in my room and I was fighting the urge to just run. 
“I need someone who chooses me first. I need someone who doesn’t care about hurting feelings when it comes to me, and you’ve shown me that you are not that person.” I turned my back to him, the way I felt he had during this whole fiasco. “You didn’t need to say the right thing, you needed to do the right thing. Maybe you did the right thing for yourself, but it wasn’t for me.” I sighed, dropping my arms and spinning back around. “I’ve seen you do it so many times- every time, but you couldn’t do it for me and that hurts. It hurts so much, god I’m so fucking angry! I don’t know how i’m even speaking to you!” I bit my lip, watching the now motionless boy sit before me. 
I take a look around me, taking in the boxes once again. “What do you expect to happen here, Naruto? You follow me home and we play house while we forget about how you fucked me over?” I shook my head in disbelief, that wasn’t happening.“If you didn’t want to hurt me, then why didn’t you tell me about the kiss?”
No answer.
“If you didn’t want to hurt me, why was I not your first choice, first thought?”
Nothing.
“And if you really fucking loved me, why would you ever ask for time to think about it?”
Silence, but I had my answer. You don’t think about love, you feel it. If you have to think about feeling it, then maybe you never really felt it at all.
“And if you were so fucking ready to follow me to the ends of the earth, then why the fuck is that goddamn scarf in that fucking box!” I turn around, knocking the box over. As the items tumble out, the long red, handcrafted, homemade symbol of love falls sprawled out on top. I could feel the hot tears rushing to my eyes as my vision blurred. “I sat in that apartment- I sat there for weeks Naruto! Wasting away, imagining that you would come running back to tell me it was just a fluke! I was ready to beg you, like I had done something wrong. I couldn’t even recognize myself in fucking the mirror!” I shake my head at the thought of those weeks, how weak I was- how desperate I was.
 “I’m so afraid that If I keep waiting for you, I’ll be waiting forever.”
“I’m right here.” He finally spoke out to me, quiet and broken. I shook my head, “No- no you’re not, and you’ve been gone for a long time.” I dropped my head, swiping at my hot tears and blotchy face. “And maybe it should stay that way.”
“Goodbye Naruto.”
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Two years later.....
I sat sideways on the wooden chair, my arm resting on the back while I held my chin in my palm. Legs crossed gracefully in the carefully chosen emerald dress, I swirled my wine in my left hand as I smiled. I watched as Chōji spun Karui in circles with that stupid smitten look on his face and I let out a little chuckle as I observed the same look on Karui’s. I glance to the left as I see Omi and Samui joining them on the dance floor, the alcohol induced flirtatiousness evident to me. I smiled even harder.
I was happy, the past two years had been rocky, but there were so many new beginnings right around the corner. My best friend was married and was bound to start a family with her new husband soon, the world was somewhat peaceful and the stress of being the maid of honor had rolled off my shoulders, thank god. Karui was nothing close to a bridezilla, but who wanted to fuck up their best friend’s wedding? Not me, no thanks! I keep watching for a bit as the dance floor filled, and promptly turned back around to my table, finishing my drink in one last gulp and adjusting my dress when I felt the tap on my shoulder.
“Hey.”
I tilt my head up, my eyes taking in every detail before me. The perfectly tailored dark grey suit, shining shoes and a boutonniere that matched my dress exactly. My eyes trail further up to the neatly combed blonde hair with those intense blue eyes. Of course he was here, he was one of Chōji’s childhood friends. Karui had kept the bridal party pretty small. She had Samui and I, while Chōji had rightfully selected Shikamaru and Naruto as his groomsmen. We had walked down the aisle together.
“Do you want to dance?” He asked me and it pulled me out of my thoughts. I pondered it for a second before I decided it was harmless. I stood, taking his hand as we joined the rest of the guest on the floor, Karui throwing me a sly look as I wave her off. Omi tossing me wiggly brows and I roll my eyes. I had made peace with the situation a year ago, I could be civil for a wedding. 
The music changes to something upbeat and I throw my head back and laugh as I see Omi busting out shameful dance moves. The music dies down, but I enjoyed myself and the company. Laughter filled the air as the groomsmen and bridesmaids took turns giving their speeches. Nervously fidgeting until it was my turn to speak.
I stood slowly as all the attention turned my way. I lift my hand and softly wave to the guest as I turn my body towards Karui and her new husband.
“Um-” I let out a sort chuckle as I compose myself, a round of laughter filling the air. I let out a deep breath, “I’ve known Karui for a long time- basically my whole life. Sometimes I wonder if her, Omi and I were supposed to be triplets.” I smile as I hear the laughter again. Maybe I’m not so bad at this whole public speaking thing. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that Karui.. You’re not like a sister to me, you are my sister- you’re family. You’ve been there through everything and for two kunoichi- that can be a lot, trust me.” This time I was laughing before I got a little serious.
“When we lost-” I stop, holding the microphone away as I fanned my face for a second, and sending a reassuring smile back at Karui, who had turned a little concerned. “When we lost our parents, I thought Omi and I were alone- but Karui, you made sure we never were. You were always there, so I am so grateful that you included me in one of the most beautiful moments of your life.” I turn my gaze to Chōji, “Thank you for taking care of my sister, I know that you’ll always treat her well and that’s all I could ever hope for.” I smiled as Chōji turned, pressing a kiss to Karui’s temple.
“But if you so much as make her feel anything less than the absolute princess that she is, I won’t hesitate to show you just how precise my lightning release is.” 
I smirk as Chōji pales and Karui slaps his shoulder. The room burst into laughs as I take a small bow and giggle out a “Thank You” and a “congrats!” into the mic. Soon, the reception was over and the couple said their goodbyes before making their long awaited. dramatic- but beautiful exit.
I pushed my hair behind my ear as I fulfilled my last duty as the one and only maid of honor- cleaning up- or more so making sure that all the food was stored properly, probably per Chōji’s request. I had just finished boxing up the wedding cake, and had made my way over to the tables, carefully taking down the center pieces and saving the flowers.
“Need some help?”
I didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.
“Sure, bridal party duties include the groomsmen too.” He did his classic neck scratch and let out a short “cool.” 
With the two fo us working, it didn’t take long for the venue to get cleaned up. The food was properly stored and ready to be sent to the couple new home, the flowers properly packed to be kept for a lovely keepsake and the chairs were stacked back up and put away. We were now doing the last two person fold on the table cloths. When we finished and had officially tossed them all into the respective box, I let out a tired breath.
“Thanks Naruto, that was definitely going to take me all day if I had to do it alone.” Luckily, we weren’t responsible for the transportation of all this shit- that was up to Chōji’s clan members. Karui just didn’t trust them to properly take everything down- and I didn’t blame her. They could be somewhat heavy handed. I could feel him staring a hole into my head and I knew the small talk was coming soon. I had no idea how I managed to avoid it this long.
“Go ahead and ask me already.” I let out, crossing my arms over my chest as I took in his widened bright blue eyes and the small blush on his cheeks. We hadn’t talked much since that faithful day in his apartment, just briefly while fulfilling our wedding duties. We were nineteen, and here we were at twenty one. I was over my teenage days and more than willing to embrace my twenties. “How have you been?” ahh there it goes, the dreadful start of a conversation between two exes. I wasn’t buying into it though.
“I’ve been okay, how are you? Did you enjoy the wedding?” He shrugged his shoulders, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “Yeah it was beautiful, but it was really hard.” I snorted, “Tell me about it, being maid of honor was harder than any mission I’ve ever seen sent on. There was so much shit to do- and look-” I let out a short giggle, “We’re still here after the whole thing playing clean up crew!” I continue to laugh until I noticed I was laughing alone. I gave him a puzzled look and he shook his head.
“Don’t get me wrong- I am very happy for the newly weds, but I can’t stop the what ifs that are running through my mind.” I crossed my arms, I knew where this was going. I just knew he would pull some shit like this.
“That was supposed to be us.” It felt like a punch to the gut, my entire demeanor changed, and he noticed as I stiffed.
“Yeah, It was.” 
My admission must have shocked him from the widening of his eyes. I placed my hands on my hips and quirked an eyebrow. “What?” I dryly asked back. There was no need to play games, we were too old for that. “I just-” He stumbled on his words before I continued. “I’m not going to avoid it. I always thought we were going to be the first in the group to get married, but things didn’t work out that way. So yeah, I guess in a way that was supposed to be us, but it’s not.” I say softly, as I watch his cheeks redden. I glanced at my watch and realize how late it had gotten.“Naruto, I’ve got to go now. Thanks for the help- really, but it’s really late and I-” I stop shortly and look up, feeling his eyes burning a hole into me, “I should get back to my apartment..” I finished.
He simply nods as I give him a small nod as I turn to take my leave. The clicking of my heels echoing in the empty ball room as I distanced myself from him.
“You know,” I stop, halfway turning my body in the direction of his voice. 
“I like to think that in another world, that in another timeline- you and I end up together.” He speaks out to me.
I nod, smiling softly as I wrap my arms around myself, 
“If the me in that timeline loves you just an ounce as much as I loved you in this one...” I turn back around and continue my exit.
“Then yeah, I’d like to think that to be true as well.” 
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Long time no see! I might do an epilogue to this, maybe. Thanks for sticking around for this! I have an idea for a kakashi fic so stay tooned! Lets see if I can successfully revive this blog! 
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Late night thoughts!
Hello Guys!
I had part 3 written for months and haven't been confident or just motivated enough to post it, I tweaked it a bit and I'm just gonna say fuck it and post it tomorrow after I fix all my links.
This blog mainly died bc I get like nooooo interactions on here, I am very grateful to those who do speak to me! It makes me veryyy excited. I stopped posting on here b/c I felt like it just became a post your shit and go blog and that sucked all the fun out. I do want to come back though!
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getyouasenju · 2 years
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Should I revive this dead blog 👀
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getyouasenju · 3 years
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Probably gonna post an epilogue to my dragging series that I wrote months ago tomorrow so be in the lookout !
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getyouasenju · 3 years
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Better In Time
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: Just angst and some profanity, maybe some spoilers. Not fully proof read oof. and also not my best work.
Note: any Ino, Sakura or Hinata slander will result in a block, this isn't meant to make any of them villains so if you have something nasty to say about the girlies then you’re not welcome here :) This is just angst, none of this shit is cannon and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
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I laid completely still in my bed, head against my pillow, breathing slow and somewhat labored. It was so quiet I could hear the ticking the clock on my wall. My face puffy and my eyes were sore. My cheeks were so sensitive from the constantly dragging my palm across them, that I had decided against wiping any more tears away. If I had any left to shed anyways. The wet spot on my pillow was slowly starting to irritate my skin.
“I-I just need some time (Y/N).”
I snap my eyes closed trying to drown out my thoughts. Time. He told me he needed time. It had been two years since since the shinobi world had been at peace, two years since the war, and three years since Naruto and I had gotten together. My stomach was twisting as I thought of the current situation. He came back from that mission, wrapped in a red scarf and smitten- but unfortunately not for me.
I snapped into an upright position. The thoughts had taken me over, as I sprinted out my bed and into my bathroom. I lurched forward, dry heaving into the toilet. Nothing but stomach acid leaking from my mouth, I haven’t been able to hold anything down for long in two weeks. I weakly reach out to flush the toilet, standing and moving towards the sink to rinse my mouth out. I take a peek at myself in the mirror, almost afraid to look. I was a kunoichi, I had taken many beatings before, but I let out a small gasp when I look at my sullen, irritated face. I take a look at myself, deep bags, swollen cheeks and puffy eyes. This wasn’t like me. Silent tears streaming down my face as I look at my appearance. Covering my mouth and shaking my head in disbelief I stood still. 
Pulling myself away from my poor reflection- I stagger back to my bed, making sure that I flipped my tear stained pillow over before plopping myself down and sinking back into the comfortable impression I’d made in my mattress. My intrusive thoughts probed at me once again, I kept getting hit with waves of flashback after flashback. Putting my head in my hands I pull at my hair as I try to stop my thoughts, my tears dripping from my nose, but it was no use.
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“Time?” I slowly repeated back. I sneak a peak at his attire. The red scarf, it was clear that it was handmade, and not by me. He looked away, he couldn’t even look me in the eyes as he broke my heart. “Naruto, what do you mean?” I slowly questioned him, unsure of where this was going. “The mission was successful, no? Are Hanabi and Hinata safe?” I was starting to get concerned- nervous even. He was still silent. “So what do you need time for? The mission report? Can’t Shikamaru or Sai just do it?” I laugh nervously, the tension filling the air.
“I need time to figure out my feelings.” I let out a small choked sound. Now I was extremely confused. His feelings for…. me? I wore a puzzled expression on my face as I processed his statement. He finally caught my gaze. “(Y/N), I have feelings for Hinata. I think.. I think I’m in love with her.” He had a grasp on the scarf and It hit me that she had knitted it for him. I shook my head turning away from him when he reached out his hand. “Wait.. wait! I love you (Y/N), I don’t want to lose you.”
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The knocking at my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I panicked thinking about how I looked. I jump up reaching for the nearest sweatshirt, slipping it over my head. Sniffling, I smooth my hands over my face and wipe at my eyes in an attempt to hide the tracks of my tears. The knocking got louder and I rushed to the door. Taking a deep breath, I opened to door to a smiling Ino, that was until she saw my face. “Oh (Y/N)…” She whispered at the sight of me.
I felt so small. To have my friend look at me in a state like this was just utterly embarrassing. I also didn’t want to put her in a tuff space between her friends. I muster up all the strength I had and forced a smile onto my drained face. “Hey Ino!” I tilt my head wave my hand at her. “What are you doing here on this fine day?” I ask with fake excitement. “Oh cut the crap (Y/N), I haven’t seen you in two weeks!” Ino tells me flicking her wrist at me and crossing her arms. “Oh really? I’ve just been here ya know…. relaxing.. reading..” I laugh nervously as I scratch the back of my neck.
“If that’s what reading and relaxing does to you then I’ll never pick up a book again…” Ino slowly says. I give her a tight lipped smile. “Shall I shut the door on you, Ino?” I threatened. “Oh come on (Y/N), I was joking! Look, I come in peace. I have food! I know you haven’t been eating, I’m worried.” She shook the bag of food in my face. I shrugged my shoulders. “I just haven’t been hungry.” Ino rolls her eyes at my response. “Well get ready then, cause I’m breaking my diet for you!” She slips passed me swinging the bag back and forth teasingly. I let out a giggle at the crazy girl. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was happy to have some company at the moment.
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I hugged Ino goodbye and genuinely thanked her for coming. It was the first time in a week that I was able to hold something down and I was grateful. I felt stronger. I walked to the bathroom and took a glance at myself in the mirror, I look a little better. This was a nice improvement from this morning. I turn the faucet on and clean my face, erasing the evidence of my tears earlier. After brushing my teeth and drying my face, I find the energy to put on a real pair of pajamas instead of the rags I’d been wearing for the past two weeks. Feeling good in the silky material, I make my way back to my trusty bed, but as I reached for the comforter I hear another faint knock at the door. I was just about to get comfortable! Ino must of forgotten something- as always. I let out a sigh smiling slightly as I shuffle to the door, undoing the locks and yanking it open.
“Now what did you forget this time, Miss Yamanaka” I playfully ask. When I glanced up, I was frozen. This was not Ino. I had nothing to say. We sat there staring at each other for what felt like forever. “(Y/N)” Naruto finally speaks out. My grip on the door tightened and I was looking everywhere but at him. I was silent, unsure of what was about to happen. “I haven’t heard from you in weeks.” He says taking a cautious step forward. I frowned at his statement. I placed my other hand on the door frame for support as I glared at the blonde.
“You said you wanted time, so I gave you time. What else do you want to request from me, Naruto?” I snap at him. I had no patience left in me, no energy, no politeness- nothing. He thinks he can disturb my peace like this? He shook his head and looked confusingly at me. “I love you, (Y/N) and I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I haven’t seen you in days..” I held my hand up, “Please stop.” I whispered to him. “I don’t think I can handle your proclamations of love when I’m not the only one who holds your heart.” He looks down shaking his head. “I know, I wish- damn. I-I I don’t know. I’m just confused, I don’t want to lose either of you.” He confesses.
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding in. I lift my eyes to meet his, tears slipping down my poor cheeks. “And that’s what really hurts, because I was never confused about you, not once. It was always you for me.” I sighed, “I don’t deserve to be your second choice, Naruto.” I looked away from him, unable to keep his gaze any further. “I just want you to be happy. If that means I have to let you got to be with Hinata.. then I’m willing to make that sacrifice, but you can’t keep me on the back burner.” He steps forward, inviting himself in as he rubs at his temples and shakes his head. “You’re not my second choice, don’t say things like that.” He groans. 
I rolled my eyes, partially at his response and partially at his self invitation into my home. “Did I say you could come in?” I question the blonde. He ignored me, pacing back and forth. His breathing was unsteady as he clutched his chest. My eyes widened as I turned and closed my door. “Naruto.. are you okay?” I slowly ask him. He stops abruptly looking at me with weary eyes. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” I sighed and shook my head, stepping forward. “I think it’s too late for that.” He aggressively rubs his temples again as I continue. “I think we both know how this is going to end, Naruto.” He looks down at me, tears in his eyes as he begs me.
“No, I just need more time. (Y/N)- you’re not going to leave, are you?” He whispers the last bit to me. I turn my head to the side to avoid his gaze. Am I going to leave? The anger started to build inside me. I just need more time. He wants to talk about time, huh? Like the time he’s fucking wasted of mine? I snap my head back to him. “What do you mean, am I going to leave? You’re worried about me leaving? What about you leaving me! You’re the one trying to leave me!” I hiss. His eyes widened at my change of mood. I had hit my breaking point. “So what, you came here to beg me to stick around while you fall in love with someone else?” I laugh to keep myself from crying. “I gave up everything for you! I’m not even from here Naruto, how dare fucking dare you! Get out, I want you out right now!” I snatch the sleeve of his shirt and attempt to drag him out of my house but he doesn’t budge.
“Leave!” I scream. I didn’t want him here. He still didn’t move. “I get it Naruto, I wouldn’t choose me either, how could I expect you to? I’ll make it easy for you.” I sneer at the blonde. He looked pale, stuck in his spot. I groan at him, shoving my way around him and make my way to the bedroom. He wanted to leave me? Then I’ll make him watch me leave first, I was going back to Kumogakure and while he was here, he could collect his belongings. I walk into my bedroom and rip open my closet, dumping out the first box I see and get to work. I was tearing the room apart, anything that was his or even a mere reminder of the relationship was being tossed into the box, and I wasn’t being gentle about it.
“(Y/N)” I hear him whisper at the door way. I ignored him, rummaging through my dresser drawer. I hear his footsteps nearing me and I whip around. “Stay away from me!” I yell at him, then turn back to the dresser. “Fuck you, and your time- you shouldn’t of come here. Rubbing it in my face that I’m just not good enough for you.” He winced at my words. “Stop it, that’s not true, I love you.” My head felt like it was going to explode as I turned to face him again. “Stop saying that.. stop lying to me!” I covered my face with my palms as I start to sob, leaning into the dresser for support. Why couldn’t he just leave?
In the nicest voice I could muster I spoke to him “I hope that one day I can be happy for you and Hinata. I just want you to be happy.” He reached forward and placed a hand on my waist, I wanted to vomit. “You make me happy-” I cut him off, I didn’t need any more of his excuses. “Not happy enough. Just take your things so I can pack mine and get out your hair. Please.” I demanded, swatting his hand off my waist. He shook his head behind my back, standing his ground. “No. I’m not leaving you when you’re this upset and being rash.” He states firmly.
I scoffed, turning my head at an angle towards him. “That’s okay, you can take your time, your good at that- aren’t you Naruto?” I spit at him spitefully. He could watch me leave for all I cared, It changed nothing. His face drops, but he doesn’t give up. “I was just being honest, I don’t like keeping things from you.” I furrowed my brows before firing off a response, “How about you just keep away from me instead?” I find the shirt I was searching for and swing around, throwing it into his chest as I moved back to my closet in search for my travel bag. “Why don’t you go check on Hinata? I’m sure she’s upset as well, or maybe not since you’ve been glued to her for the past two weeks.” I mumble out. I had no hatred for the Hyūga, she was perfect- I understood why he would be in love with her. I was really hoping to keep her name out of the argument- It was between Naruto and I, but I couldn’t help being a little bitter about the situation. I drop the bag immediately feeling guilty about my comments and mumble out an apology, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of mentioned her.” I let a breath out that I wasn’t aware I was even holding.
“You know, Ino said you two kissed on that mission… Sai told her.” I state lowly. He looks down, “It just happened.” I just nodded my head in acceptance of the confession. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” He whispers again for what felt like the millionth time. I looked at the blonde boy I’d loved since I was seventeen and just simply nodded “I know.” I just wished that he didn’t want to hurt me the most. I turn my head in his direction, forcing myself to connect my eyes with his as I struggled to reply, “You can’t always be the hero, Naruto.” We both stood still for a moment. “I get it.” I say breaking our silence. I start to fold clothing and force it into the bag. “I really do Naruto- I mean people finally realize how great you are, how selfless, how caring… I understand.” I rambled on clumsily folding the clothing. “She’s always been there, I’m not from here- I’m sorry that I interrupted your life, I don’t- I just don’t belong here. I don’t act, or look like you guys.” My hands were shaking as my vision was blurring from my tears. Soon I wasn’t folding anything, just merely balling it up and shoving it into the bag. I was a fool to think this would last, I just thought- I really thought that I would be enough for him. How fucking stupid did I have to be to actually believe that.
I felt like I was ruining his life, I had to go. “God Naruto- I’m so fucking sorry.” I breathed out. My breathing was labored as I continued my packing, scatter brained and frenzied. “Stop, just stop it. Stop apologizing to me, It’s my fault- I put you in this position.” He moves forward grabbing for me, but I sidestep him. “No, It’s my fault to actually thinking you could love me. That you would choose me.” I let out a frustrated laugh, bringing my hand to the bridge of my nose. My mood began twisting and suddenly- I was consumed in anger once again. What was I apologizing for again? I wasn’t thinking straight. “Why the fuck are you even still here? You really don’t give up, do you?” I felt the heat creeping onto my face as my anger started to rise up again, the blood rushing to my fingertips as my head felt cloudy. My emotions were all over the place, I couldn’t decide if I was angry, sad, or just numb- but I knew for sure that I looked pathetic. I turned my head, taking my gaze away from him, quickly shaking my head. “I wish the Raikage never sent me on that stupid mission.” I huffed out, trying to blink away my tears of anger. “Then I wouldn’t of met you, and I wouldn’t be sitting here questioning my worth.” He shakes his head at me in denial. “You don’t mean that.”
I rapidly shook my head, tears rolling and flying down my face. “But I do Naruto! I really fucking do!- god!” I yell at the blonde, shaky hands attempting to clear my vision. “You wish you never met me?” He whispered. I soddenly shook my head in agreement. “Yeah.” My once warm and cozy room felt eerily cold and quiet as we stood rooted in our spots. I watched as Naruto raised his arm behind him, placing the shirt back on the dresser. “Naruto- I don’t want that, It’s yours. Take it.” I start to explain to the boy, I didn’t want any souvenirs of my failed relationship, he would be taking his things with him or they would be in the garbage can by the end of the night. “I don’t regret it.” He starts, moving closer to grasp me. “I don’t regret meeting you, being your friend- falling in love with you. I don’t regret any of It.” He pleads out to me. “Well it’s a good thing I’m not the one breaking your heart then, huh Naruto?” I spitefully hiss at him. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
I look at him, taking in his appearance as I swallowed hard. “I should’ve known.” I start as he furrows his brows at me. “What..” He’s cut short as I continue. “You begged me- you fucking begged me to stay as far away from Pain’s assault. That you couldn’t focus if you even had the smallest thought- Idea, that I was in danger.” His grip on me tightened as I lashed out, letting out a humorless laugh. “Turns out you were just letting Hinata play hero for you. The beginning to your real love story, huh? Was I a good distraction at least?” I shake my head, tears still rolling down my face. I shrug off the grip he had on me. “I think you should go. For real this time.” I tell him, handing him the box of him belongings. He’d be fine without me, I was sure of it.
I stood still as I heard my door close, not bothering to go lock it behind him. I look down at my bag. I was so drained, tired and my eyes were stinging between every blink. Closing my eyes in frustration, I shove the bag to the floor, and climb into the bed. My entire body shook as I tried to calm my nerves, eventually I laid still in the bed, temporarily escaping my misery and diving into a deep, deep sleep.
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I shot up in my bed, heart pumping against my ribs as I look around my messy room, confused and disorientated at the sight of everything out of place.
Thump, Thump.
I shake my head, realizing that knocking at the door had pulled me from my slumber. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand through sleepy eyes. 2:21pm, damn… how long had I been out? The entire day?
Thump, Thump.
My head snapped to my bedroom door. I should get that, I’ve been out of commission all day. The knocking persisted as I threw my legs over the side of the bed and attempted to walk to the door, only to trip right over a bag that sent me tumbling face first into the ground. I groaned out-loud while I rolled my eyes, highly annoyed and slightly confused to as of why I was face down on the floor and in pain. I pull myself up, rubbing at my nose to ease the pain while kicking the bag to the side when I heard the knocking again.
Thump, Thump.
Why couldn’t everyone just leave me alone? Let me wallow in my self pity for a few day, years. I finally make it to the door and whip it open in annoyance. I come face to face with Ino who was accompanied by Sakura. I was confused- why were they here? I saw Ino yesterday, she knew that I was okay at this point. At least I thought I had done a good job of convincing her.
“Is everything okay?” I slowly questioned.
“Oh cut the crap (Y/N)! You’re trying to leave the leaf?” Ino angrily questioned me, sticking her manicured finger in my face as Sakura crosses her arms across her chest. Oh, that’s why they’re here. Not only does he barge into my house uninvited, he goes and runs his big mouth to everyone, what does he gain from this? I take in a deep breath closing my eyes for a moment. I guess I was silent for too long because the noise of a throat being cleared pulled me from my thoughts. “Excuse me! Are you just going to ignore my question?” Ino presses. I open my eyes and let the breath I was holding go, “Ino, please-” I try to reason with the blonde but she swiftly cut me off. “No! I was here with you last night and you failed to tell me that you were just up and leaving?” Ino starts badgering me with multiple questions as I stood in the doorway like a child being disciplined until I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Stop! Just stop it! I’m sick of all these.. these questions!” I exploded, “How did you guys even find out?” Of course I knew the answer, the hero himself had told them- that was the only way. I had just decided to take my leave last night. This time Sakura spoke up, “Naruto told us, he was a mess last night you know? What did you do to him?” she asked. What did I.. do to.. him? I let my grip loosen and my hand slowly dropped off the door handle as I finally started to understand the situation. This was never about me and how I felt about anything. These aren’t my friends- they’re Naruto’s. They might like me, but he was always going to be their first priority even when I was the one being hurt. They were protective of him, I get it.
I slowly shook my head as I held my own tears back. “How would you feel if your boyfriend came back and told you he might be in love with another girl?” I sneer at the two girls. “Oh! or if you have to find out through someone else that one of your friends encouraged it?” I turn my attention towards Sakura at that statement. “But wait for it! It gets even better!” I shouted out the door with fake enthusiasm. “How about when you try to get yourself out of a heartbreaking situation, you get shit on and shouted at by those friends instead of them even considering the fact that you don’t- can’t, and  physically can not stand to watch the guy you love fall in love with someone else!”. I threw my my hands up in defeat “Why do I have to be perfect? Why am I the only one who has to keep it together all the time? When will it be my turn to be coddled?” By the end of it, I was breathing heavy. 
“So you know what? I think it’s my turn to take some time.” and with that I slammed my door shut, making sure to set the locks in place this time around. I swiftly walked back to my room, preparing myself for the decisions I was pushed to make.
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“I’m sorry (Y/N), but I can’t let you leave.”
I stood there in shock, as I tried to keep my mouth from dropping open. No? I straighten up as I struggled to form a response. “Lord Sixth.. I don’t understand. I am originally from the cloud, what would be so wrong about me returning? Has the Raikage requested that I wouldn’t be allowed back?” The last part was filled with worry. Where was I supposed to go?
“No, It’s nothing like that. You are a valued Kunoichi to the leaf, and you have pledged your allegiance here for the last two years. You are one of us now… no matter what the circumstance might have led you to believe.” My eyes narrowed at the silver headed man in suspicion. Of course he knew, the man can’t resist good gossip, he was a faithful Icha Icha Paradise reader after all. I struggled to keep my eyes from rolling in my head when he started to speak again. “Regardless, I value you and I see you as an important part of this village and would be very upset to see you go.”
I smiled, feeling very appreciated at the moment from the Hokage’s praise. “Thank you Lord Sixth-” He waves his hand at me “You know I hate the formalities.” I bow my head a bit and let out a short giggle, “Yes- yes, Thank you Kakashi Sensei.” Placing my hands on my hips as I regained some sort of my self worth back I cleared my throat. “I do intend on visiting though.”
“As long as you return, you have my permission.”
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School is killing me, I have like 4 drafts and I have a lot going on personally right now but I have been sitting on this one too long, sorry if it’s garbage. Don’t know If I will be doing a part 2
-Alsoooo I remember posting about brainstorming this suchhhhhh a while back and someone asked to be tagged and I am sooo sorry for the wait but this one is for you :)  @writingish
Master list
Part two
Until Next Time! xxo (▰∀◕)ノ
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