goldpilot22

[goldpilot22]

#oh no. the insanity. its returning #but top surgery flavored this time #sigh. society if I could wear things like this #who said that what.

[goldpilot22]

pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it

#rb #qd

[goldpilot22]

something you said has been on my mind for a while - "kink is not inherently sexual". good faith! I don't understand that at all, could you explain it a bit?

This post is educational, hooray! Extensive discussion of kink under the cut. Nothing explicitly sexual is described in detail.

Please note that in this post, I use the terms top and Dom/me interchangeably. This is because I personally identify as a "top" and not a Dom. Some communities draw sharp lines between these two terms, and it's useful to make sure that you're using the same definition as other people when you're talking. Some people use "top" solely to refer to the giving or penetrative partner, which is not synonymous with the dominant partner. Topping subs, power bottoms, and all other permutations exist. I just use that term for myself because I don't like being called a Dom. It sounds like a guy's name to me, I don't like it.

When I text my wife in every morning, "Please bring me my coffee," and she answers, "Yes, Sir!" is that sexual? I'm surely not feeling sexual when I'm barely awake. When I hold my other wife's hand when she's having a depressive fit and tell her, "Daddy's got you, it's okay," that's kink, but it's not sexual. In that moment, neither of us feel particularly sexy, and we're surely not engaging in sex, but it's kink that - forgive the pun - binds us more strongly together.

One of my girls wears a 24/7 collar that I locked in place. (She can ask me at any point to take it off, or she can take it off herself if she wants to, but she chooses this.) That's kink. It's also... a necklace. That's not any more inherently sexual than her wedding ring, though it - for us - certainly symbolizes part of our relationship that happens to sometimes include sex, exactly the same as a wedding ring.

There are a lot of types of kink that don't include sexual contact in any way or which might include sexual contact but don't need to. One of my friends is a sex-repulsed ace bootblack. They literally take care of the boots of tops, usually at play parties. For them, this act of service and submission allows them to go into a particular headspace that's very fulfilling for them. They are explicitly serving the people whose boots they clean and polish. The Dom/mes receive that service and not only get really great-looking boots out of the deal but also get the feeling of power from having someone eager to take care of them and serve them. For some of us, that kind of service allows us access to a feeling of power that can be hard to access in our daily life, and that feels really good.

Sometimes, it can feel good in a sexy way, and sometimes it feels good in a "makes lizard brain feel powerful but not sexy" way. Neither one is inherently better or worse or more or less kinky than the other.

Sometimes, people who like being whipped like it because the line between pain and pleasure is like a wave on the ocean, and they want to surf it. Sometimes, that involves mashing squishy bits together, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, it's just about riding that endorphin wave and then having someone take care of you afterwards.

Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots and fucked. Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots because that process requires a lot of trust and is an intimate ritual that takes a lot of time. Sometimes, it's both. Sometimes, people want to tie up others because it's a beautiful work of art, because that ritual of binding is a ritual and accesses something sacred for them. Sometimes, they want to be tied up because it's playtime, and that's fun for them! Sometimes, they want to be tied up because when they're tied up, they are 0% in control, and they want to just surrender control to someone whom they can trust.

Some people want to go into sub space - that headspace I talked about earlier - because in their everyday life, they have a lot of responsibilities and stress, and going into that space where nobody can ask anything from them, where they have no responsibility to make any decisions at all, is a relief to them. That might involve squishy bits, or it might not. Some people like going into that sub space because being someone's Good Boy, Sweet Girl, or Good Pup is gender-affirming for them. A friend of mine only feels really safe when he's got his pup hood on, because that means he's With Master, who will protect him.

Some people get gender affirmation out of being in control, being someone's Daddy or Mistress, Sir or Boss. It allows them to access a power that helps them to square their shoulders and take on the world.

All of this entirely skips over the fact that a person's primary sexual organ is between their ears, and some people do get sexual fulfillment out of kink even when no genitalia are involved at all, but I cannot stress enough that the reasons that people enter into the multitude of kink situations in the world are as varied as the people involved. People gain access to comfort, to feelings of stability and order and control over their lives, to gender affirmation, to endorphins that are or aren't sexual in nature, to release from responsibility, to ritual and intimacy, to the ability to provide for others and take care of others in a way that their outside lives may or may not permit. For that matter, they may simply gain access to a paycheck, and that's fine, too. That's no more or less "selling your body" than when I used to run my ass off for 13+ hours a day at my retail job, and I guarantee they're making way, way better money.

The fact that so many people see kink as only and purely sexual means they're missing out on so much of what kink can offer, and narrowing down the experiences of others to this tiny little sliver of what actually exists. Yes, it can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. The reasons that people engage in kink are as varied as the reasons that people engage in any other kind of interaction, and the fulfillment they get from it is as varied, too.

#taking notes

[goldpilot22]

funfriend compilation

#rb #funfriend my friend funfriend

[goldpilot22]

This was tagged as butch bait, so I presume this is a jest post and I decided not to reblog directly from the original poster because of this. However butches and gender nonconforming women almost NEVER get shown as old in media, and our beautiful middle aged (and older!) butches never get to the public eye!

There is a future for butch and gnc women. We can grow old and be ourselves, without changing a thing. So I present to you pictures of older butch and gnc women!

#rb #tagged for me #old butches swag...... yes good #qd

[goldpilot22]

yeah no the agent orange thing is actually wild - my grandpa was drafted to vietnam and was exposed to it, which gave him health problems later in life that he ended up passing away from BUT the military insisted that he hadn't been exposed for a full ten years after he passed until they finally admitted a few months ago that yeah actually he had been exposed and our family was supposed to have been receiving financial compensation this whole time but they just. hadn't done that

and that's the way the US government treated an actual american who was exposed - it's so so much worse from the vietnamese perspective

yeah im reading the wikipedia article and it says

the Vietnamese Red Cross estimates that up to one million people were disabled or have health problems as a result of exposure to Agent Orange. The United States government has described these figures as unreliable, while documenting cases of leukemia, Hodgkin's lymphoma, and various kinds of cancer in exposed U.S. military veterans.

which, considering how very very neutral wikipedia tries to be, reads like a loud blaring "THEY WERE LYING THROUGH THEIR TEETH"

also tho the part that gets me is like. i never knew about "herbicidal warfare" in general, that's....so evil. like, we were not even just using this weapon on soldiers (which would already be fucked up), we were trying to destroy the entire country itself? the land and animals and plants so even those who werent exposed are starving and destabilized??? just indiscriminately raining down death over vast swathes of land? what the FUCK.

that...genuinely sounds as bad as hiroshima and nagasaki to me, morally speaking. just...slower.

#YEAH #my grandpa also a vietnam vet who was exposed to agent orange #he has a shirt that says 'I was killed in Vietnam. I just haven't died yet' #the us govt is really really bad at like.. compensating the people it's hurt *when they're its own citizens* (I've seen the letters my #other relatives have wrote trying to get compensation for what rocky flats did to them. its like begging.) #and it's even WORSE at even just admitting the harm when its not usians who were hurt #its so fucked up #rb #qd

[goldpilot22]

do ppl who draw butch/femme art know that the butch is allowed to be the shorter one and doesn’t always have to be the tall one? just saying

#I feel like the commenter there is maybe tall #like average-tall not tall tall #some people go their whole lives not realizing they're tall because they're on the average side of tall #so they just think they know a lot of short people #that's a tangent though. oops #anyway short butches rights #..looks at my oc couples. off the top of my head ive got three butch/femme couples where the butch one is shorter #although two of those the femme in the couple is threnody and it's not exactly hard to be shorter than threnody #.....looks in the mirror. do i have short butch swag. do i #rb #qd

[goldpilot22]

Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

#yeah!!! #prev it's like your shoes problem! maybe you aren't weakass at walking maybe you simply need shoes that are better for walking in! #world can be niceys...

[goldpilot22]

#rb #qd #FR #AGREED

[goldpilot22]

faggot.com/careers

#rb

[goldpilot22]

#will #wanna go here?

[goldpilot22]

Refusing to take the cigarette offered to me by the firing squad until their Captain makes an airplane noise before putting in my mouth.

#threnactor #i will not elaborate

[goldpilot22]

faggot.com/careers

#rb

[goldpilot22]

young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

#rb #qd

[goldpilot22]

Murderbot, a construct that was built and used to do extreme violence it's entire existence : I hate talking to people but I will try to resolve this situation peacefully if I can, threats only make people panic and then they take irrational decisions. Extreme violence is sometimes unavoidable but last resort.

ART, a peaceful research transportation : I love talking to people because I can threaten them with extreme violence right off the bat and it makes them do what I want (ads more totally-not-weapons to it's research equipment)

#they're both SO normal <3 #rb #qd #murderbot

[goldpilot22]

who out thinking about the character

#rb #qd

[goldpilot22]

The Enforcer

#rb #qd