gonnahaveabigtalklater

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i try to wish you a happy birthday but my dyslexia causes harry du bois to manifest in your house and open all your cans. sorry.

#hdb #its kinda neat that both [hbd] and [hdb] are associated with singing :)

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i think every animal crossing grumpy villager is part of a single giant polycule

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baze malbus

i understand the thing about guns 1000% and i'm sick of the modern american fixation of big gun, big truck, skinny wife, beer, two kids, dog, front lawn etc etc

but i'm also afflicted with a firearms fixations and have a few books for artist reference and kinda want to buy a gun for range plinking one of these days

what category of Guy™ do i fall into

i don't think there's anything wrong with having some garden variety Gun Autism

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I could fix the Anatomy house, btw

#if you don't know what I'm talking about please play Anatomy by Kitty Horrorshow. it's great. #anyway here's how i'd fix her: #1. i'd tell her this whole plan first so she can eat me if she doesn't like it. (consent is important!) #2. together we're gonna prop some of her windows permanently open. #3. then we're gonna replace her sinks & toilets with flat pans and shallow fountains. #4. i'm gonna plant window boxes full of sorghum and millet and peas and seeds #5. interior decorating! she needs to blunt all the sharp objects and maximise flat horizontal surfaces #6. DONE! I give it a week before a metric fuckton of pigeons move in and never leave. she'll never be lonely again. #also if any cringe humans try to bother her pigeons she can eat them!

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if the letter O ever ceases to exist, this guy is gonna get real mean real fast:

#count von count #god i hope somebody else finds this funny. it happened in a dream and i woke myself up laughing.

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i think Steven would win without even knowing. Hannibal would be sneaking flamboyantly behind a door and Steven would slam the door open (during a tag game or something) crushing Hannibal's stupid gay ass stone dead. Steven never even realizes he's killed a guy so there's zero emotional trauma. and then Will marries Greg. the end.

you're so right hen

get mad. get rageful. debate all you like because im sending them to the death arena and you can't stop me

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finally got around to watching breaking bad. um why is everyone gay for hank???

#breaking bad #skyler white is my wife now btw. walt is an idiot for not treating her right.

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please tell Winston I love him very very much 🥹

will be moving. big (old) news

#fun fact: little old cockatiel men are one of my favorite things in the world #cockatiel #birds #i wish all tiel granddads a very thrive

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new favorite trope: character who Becomes Bisexual after experiencing enough Plot-Significant Trauma

#alana bloom 🤝 kaidan alenko #“aaah this is terrible! the horror the agony! oh shit I'm kinda gay.”

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watching Hannibal for the first time. have decided to consume this media Incorrectly by shipping Will and Jack.

#im crying they dont understand each other At All but the trust between them is rock solid. #maybe scott landon was right after all #PS: Hannibal is the exact same as Vriska I shan't explain

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somehow I thought this was a reference to harry du bois

Totally Legitimate Copper - submitted by @meowstic-seer-of-the-future

#FDFEEE #AADCB7 #638A4B #652013 #ED8B36

#I was so caught up in the euphoria of Pretend Criminals that I forgot we lived in a world where Real Criminals exist

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my coldest most toxic Mass Effect take: if you're a straight dude who's into Asari, then you're not straight

#[slams my hand down on the dashboard so hard the repercussions break Joker's knee] FEMININE ≠ FEMALE THE ASARI ARE NONBINARY #[getting my ass kicked by Edi but still yelling] ASARI MAY ENCOMPASS THE ENTIRE GENDER SPECTRUM PRESENT IN OTHER SPECIES. #THEY ALSO EXIST COMPLETELY OUTSIDE OF THIS SPECTRUM AND ALSO OCCUPY ONLY PARTS OF IT. GENDER IS A FUCK. #mass effect trilogy #in conclusion: Aria T'Loak is my wife but she's also my husband my nb spouse my qpp my best friend and my poor little meow meow #in conclusion 2: lmao feron gay

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suggestion: introduce a unique and terrible type of conflict into your relationship by responding "actually I'd love you more if you were a worm"

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they could rename Death Note to be called Punishment Is Reinforcing To The Punisher

#death note

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my favorite part of Mass Effect is the terrifyingly powerful AI who could easily kill your entire crew, but luckily its only desire is to seduce a skrunkly little guy.

#mass effect trilogy #joker/edi my beloved

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RIP Ashley Williams, I liked you SO much until you tried to murder my beloved son.

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Worlds End (2013) 🤝 Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022): what if being your ordinary struggling flawed self actually saved the world?

#and also you were a little bit gayer than you expected?