halfpunt

[halfpunt]

There was panic in the parlour and howling in the hall!                           There was crying in the cowshed and shrieking in the stall!  W h e n        t h e         T o a d         c a m e         h o m e !

Roleplay blog based on Mr Toad from Telltale’s The Wolf Among Us. Independent, selective, private and headcanon-based. Written by Lily. Please read before following!

#here's my other mostly inactive roleplay blog i fuck around on sometimes lol #i'm too out of touch with fandom these days to start new projects

[halfpunt]

"Are you... evil because you're dead. Or dead because you're evil?" (Travis)

“Neither, pal! You are lookin’ at da proud ownah of a pure soul! Kandarian demons want dis body so bad it makes dem look stoopid! But dey can’t have it! Yeah, y’hear dat, you Kandarian mooks?! You! Can’t! Touch! Dis!”

… He turns and flips off nobody in particular and strikes a provocative pose, slapping his own ass. Who the fuck is this undead little weirdo?

“Nah, I actually used ta be a big hero against evil, if you can believe it! Or little hero… More like, uh… a sidekick, really! Me an’ Ash! We were so close! Like- Like brothers! Or soulmates…? – Til he freakin’ fuhgoddaboud me!”

Sam stomps his foot and paces in a quick circle to calm down. He’s muttering furiously about how he bets Ash’s new sidekicks wouldn’t let him set them on fire like Sam did. He bets they wouldn’t even let Ash possess them.

“Say… You wouldn’t happen ta need a sidekick…? Or a new… ✨best friend✨…?”

#h-a-unted #;ic #yay thank you for the ask :') #i feel like sam is so tonally inappropriate to interact with travis eVER but it's making me laugh a lot

[halfpunt]

Am I doing it right?

#i haven't roleplayed consistantly on tumblr since like...... oh god...... 2014...... THAt's 10 YEARS agO HELP #OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD #;ooc #the thing that always trips me up is formatting changes with the site and what is generally accepted by the community #........ i was here when we could still edit posts like........ just edit them........ no xkit needed :')

[halfpunt]

PEOPLE ASSUMING YOU'RE EVIL JUST COS YOU'RE DEAD

#FREAKIN TELL ME ABOUT!!! if i HAD A DOLLAR FER EVERY MOOK WHO SHOOTS FIRST AND ASKS QUESTONS LATER

[halfpunt]

Zombie Lord by Ivan Sevic

[halfpunt]

@h-a-unted Answered your ask “"I know I we ain't s'pposed ta' talk 'bout it......”

He's at a loss for sure. First, he's almost convinced that he is dreaming this... individual he is staring at right now. Surely, all the stress from taking care of his family was taking a toll on his mind. Yet, this feels a little too real... No, he's not gonna question it much or his brain will literally give out. Second, what is he even talking about? Voiced by the same chump... The way that sentence makes no sense to him whatsoever baffles him to no avail. He can't help but stare, mouth slightly open, confusion clear with the way his eyebrows knit, his eyes twitch. Truly, he is trying to make sense of all of this and yet... "Kinda look like who, buddy?" Right, maybe he can just play with his logic for a second... "Are you feeling alright? Need me to take you to the nearest motel to rest? I'll be honest, you're speaking nonsense and it is cause for concern,... sir."

“Shhhhh! Geez, not so loud, pal! Last thing I need's another ancient order bustin' my ass fer crimes against the canon! Yeesh!”

The pint-sized Deadite winces and glances left and right, just to make that nobody's listening in... He beckons Travis closer, urging him to lean down to his level. He smells utterly rancid – Like a corpse.

“I’m talkin’ ‘bout Ted freakin’ Raimi! You an’ me – He’s both of us! Or… we’re him…? I’m me but he’s also me… And you’re also him but not me… – Look, pal! I don’t really get how it all works, alright?! I got it all explained ta me once – Didn’t understand shit! But it don’t matter! Point is …”

… Sam prattles on for another minute or so, not pausing for breath ever once. Finally he grins and offers a hand – The one with skin on. His other hand is a raw mess of meat and sinew. He’s a gruesome-looking little guy for sure.

“... Anyway, I’m Sam! Lay it here… brother! Ehehehe!”

#h-a-unted #;ic #HAHAHA this is gonna blow your mind but i haven't played the quarry :') #i am ONLY here because your character is also played by ted bahahahaha #also dw about evil dead lore at all lol this is probably one of the MOST OBSCURE characters in the franchise #also please don't feel any pressure to continue this if you don't wanna 👍 i just have fun

[halfpunt]

“I don't know Charles Lee Ray! Folks always ask me dat - but I used ta know a guy who worked wiv him once! Ehehehe... Emphasis on once...”

#;ic

[halfpunt]

#[ PFFHAAHAHa thanks for that tomodachi life :'))) too accurate ] #;ooc

[halfpunt]

My favourite song, from my favourite musical.

It sums up the entire Evil Dead Trilogy pretty nicely.

#oh OH i see how it is!!! AAAASH can sing all he wants but when i do it i'm being ANNOYING and asking fER A CHAINSAW TO DA CAHONAS eh?!?

[halfpunt]

“I swallowed a soul once... Jus’ ta see what da big deal was, y’know? Reckon I must have some sorta intolerance or sumfin’ cuz it gave me real serious digestive problems an’ I mean serious! The kinda serious that gets carpets replaced... if ya get my meanin’! Ehehehe!”

#;ic #[ this can be a starter if you want it to be though tbh i just have fun post ic here :') ]

[halfpunt]

rigor mortis in ALL the WRONG places!!!!!!

[halfpunt]

rigor mortis in all the right places……………… ;)

#if ya catch my meanin ehehehehe

[halfpunt]

#HEY whaddaya call a deer wiv no EYES!! No... EYE DEER!! HAHAHA ya geddit??

[halfpunt]

↖ has a nice butt

#YOU KNOW IT BABY!!

[halfpunt]

houswares:

Ah, for Pete’s sake… Of all the fruitcakes locked away in Sunny Meadows, why did Ash have to find himself stuck with THIS irritating little nugget?

He folds his arms and bites his tongue for a beat, but it isn’t long before what little patience he has left is all used up, “—- WELL?? What’s the hold-up, Tiny Tim? We ain’t exactly out for a leisurely stroll, here.”

“Alright already! Keep your pants on, hero! Yeesh! You ain't got much goin' in da patience department, huh? Now, me? Dat’s a different story! I can keep patient for hours nooooo prrroooooblemo! Mmhm! Patient an' quiet. Yup! Dat's me! Long car trips? No sweat! Hah! Ya know, I used ta ride in da trunk back when me an' da boys... would... er... ehehehe... heh...”

Sam trails off, chuckling sheepishly. Ash sure looks mad and he sure does have a big deadly chainsaw jammed on his stump... The fun-sized Deadite quickly gestures vaguely with a stubby arm and starts moving in that direction.

“... Uhhh... Right! Whatcha waitin’ ‘round for?! Come on! Big freakin' tonne of evil, dis way!”

#houswares #;ic

[halfpunt]

Sam closing the mines portal in Evil Dead: Regeneration.

#❝Is it me or do I make bein' dead look GOOD?❞ 💀 (sᴀᴍ) #[ just gimme the fuckin chance to make up some bullshit incantations in a thread and i'll love you forever :') ]

[halfpunt]

So I work at a lawn care place and I shit you not there is a chainsaw here that would qualify as a Longsword in Monster Hunter.

#🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔