harico-t

[harico-t]

REVERSE STARTER CALL !! like this & i’ll go through your open starters and reply to a few ! 

[harico-t]

 ✿ Muse | Starters | Read

{ Jung Hoseok: Oc & Lit }

A lover of life’s bittersweet; A young man stuck in the past, intent on keeping his hands head in the dirt present to avoid the bright possibilities of the future.

Reblog for a starter!

#krp #krpad #rp #rpad #krpads #rpads #krp advertisement #rp advert #btsrp #kpoprp

[harico-t]

#quick

list of trash aus i need immediately (send me “trash au” and i’ll use a random generator to decide which starter to write for you)

“hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher” au

“we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not” au

“im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask” au

“we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???” au

“im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???” au

“i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???” au

“we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au

“im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit” au

“its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au

“i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party” au

[harico-t]

[harico-t]

❦  If pain, for Hoseok, could make a sound— it would definitely be shrill. ❦

He had an audience, the seats barely filling to avoid a vacancy in the echoey auditorium. Some spectators spoke, some shouted, some cried, but the majority just watched. The piercing eyes, incomplete fragments of his family, friends, lovers, the worst of all- himself. They all watched as he made a fool of himself. The stage was life and he was at wit’s end. The vocal chorus in the audience yelled with varying degrees of emotion. The most startling were those lamenting, their disappointment striking him eagerly to tears. It might’ve been the trigger, the audience began rushing from their seats to meet the stage. One by one each of fragment of his hisself and his memory got closer, their faces tinted with malicious intent. He felt like he was falling, but was he? A rhythmic noise filled his ears, getting louder and louder as he got closer the stage he was about to land on…

Cold Sweat, it was almost a second skin to him at this point. The dream, or really nightmare, had been recurring for several weeks now, it was an unpleasant start to a day that he already wanted to end. This morning routine was driving him off the edge, a feeling over the last few weeks that he couldn’t shake. A promise was a promise though. { After a drunken confession of his late troubles to a less than a handful of concerned friends, he made a promise to get his shit together. }

The promise though— was becoming a hindrance and he had just barely started getting ready.

A string of all too familiar curses came to mind, some simple yet routine things were going all too wrong. A contact falling into the dark depths of his toilet bowl, his allergy tablets miraculously vanishing, and the growing migraine me couldn’t seem to get under control. Screw it. He couldn’t wallow in his pity or sadness– whatever the hell he was feeling— he couldn’t quite place his emotions but whatever it was he needed to snap out of it.

He couldn’t tell if he was being frugal or just damn lazy. His multiple renditions of sandwiches, so-called  “ meals ” consisted of white bread and literally anything currently residing in his fridge. His stomach practically bubbled in response to the offer of his remaining condiment; mustard. He figured he might as well treat himself to a coffee shop close by, it seemed economical enough for his tastes.

The table in front of him was littered in a semi-arranged display of his ‘ spread ‘, he ordered a hot chocolate and a rather large scone. He smiled in amusement at the close memory of the barista calling out his order as “ Jehovah “ – she must’ve misheard when he said J-hope. He would’ve been better with using his real name, which many mispronounce anyway. He couldn’t listen to music or surf on his phone with his current migraine’s state, so he just stared off into space, eating his scone.

“ –Min Yoongi ? “ 

The name caught his attention, the ring of it gave him a rush of memories, he could practically taste his mother’s homemade kimbap, the sweet smell of a Bungeoppang stand coming to mind. He should probably call his mom and he would’ve made a mental note but he was suddenly clutching his privates. A burning sensation along with ferocious pain took over him, oddly enough the burn almost started feeling cold as if ice water was poured instead of burning, hot coffee.

The apology fell on deaf ears as Hoseok remained hovering over the wound. “ N-N-Napkins- ” He coughed out, desperate not to sound like a whiny bitch. ‘ Come on Hoseok there are men in the military getting bullet wounds and laughing them off, it’s just coffee ’ His internal thoughts were a bit harsh sometimes. He briefly tried laughing only to regret it, the pain distorted his past’s cheerful laugh… Well into something absolutely hideous.

Thank god he chose dark jeans to wear.

‣ HARICO-T :: THE CAT’S CAUGHT OUR TONGUE !

⠀ ˗ˋ☽ *ೄ┊‘TIS A DAY FULL OF RADIANCE, ever kind solace from the sun. the wind whispers in elegance as the fair boy walks ‘pon the sidewalk, hands stuffed in his pockets. the streets are rather crowded, much so that he confuses his steps with those of others. it is though the start of a new day, fatigue gnaws at his muscles ( perhaps coffee shall cure it? ? ) ; & so his feet lead the way to his second home ,, , once arrived at the cafe, he scans the place, somewhat of a count to see how many is present. surprisingly is there not many this day. the elder walks to the counter, requesting his usual CARAMEL FRAPPE before adjusting in a seat not far from he. again is he studying the other souls surrounding him, seeing a variety of lifestyles; one is typing on a laptop, another listening to symphonies, and another is lone, gazing in thin air. be it a sense of oddness or curiosity, it grabs the male’s attention, for in this day not many choose to do − well, , nothing. but he thinks none more of it before his name is called. ❛ caramel frappe for MIN YOONGI .. . ? ❜ there was a slight lilt of hesitance in the worker’s voice, a doubt of pronouncing his name correctly. truthfully speaking there was a minor fragment in her annunciation, but said boy takes his coffee with gratitude, uttering a small thanks before leaving. turning around does he remove the clear lid, swirling the straw in circles as he muses himself with the spinning whipped cream, a rather CHILDISH thing. he is making way to the door when the tip of his shoe meets the leg of a table, and his sweet desire slips from his fingertips. fortunately had he caught himself before completely falling like a FOOL. however his drink fell atop the clothing of someone he is unfamiliar with––––––the boy who was staring in space earlier. to be specific, it landed on the ,, area, ‘tween his legs. && the usually calm elder’s starting to blush, rose tinting on his cheeks as he questions hisself if what happened was real. ❛ oh my god, ❜ he splutters, unsure of what to say. ❛ i’m so SORRY ;; ‘twas an accident, I SWEAR–––––– ❜

#i swear i'm not trying to out write you #i just wanted to make it perfect #this is literally my 5th time writing this out completely #the delay was ugly i know. je suis sorry bro #i didn't want to give you trash-- this is the best of the trash i guess

[harico-t]

[4.15.2017] It’s raining, and I can’t follow study schedules.

#theme #hoseok

[harico-t]

4.14.17 What else would I be doing on a sunny day? ✨☀️

#theme #hoseok

[harico-t]

RPers, please reblog this if you’re ok with para responses that don’t include dialogue.

        Often it seems like an expectation that dialogue will be exchanged in every para response, but sometimes characters are nonverbal, or don’t have anything to say, or are in a situation that would make talking impractical. If the writer puts enough attention into describing their actions, though, there’s still plenty to respond to even without dialogue.         Non-dialogue responses are not “going nowhere.” Non-dialogue responses are not “filler.” Non-dialogue responses are not non-responses.

[harico-t]

DARK, THRILLING, AND/OR CRIMINAL SENTENCE STARTERS. [PT1] [PT2]

“I’m scared.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Are you scared?”

“Is this even legal?”

“Just trust me.”

“We’re locked in!”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“It’s too dark in here.”

“Why are we here?”

“They have a gun…”

“They have a knife…”

“Grab what you need, and let’s go.”

“Be quiet. Don’t let them see you.”

“Choose your victim.”

“We don’t have to do this.”

“They’re coming for us.”

“How do you know how to do that?”

“What the fuck are you doing in here?”

“We’re getting out of here unseen.”

“Something moved over there.”

“Do you have the stuff?”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“It’s not safe here.”

“This is your fault.”

“We’ve gotta go. Now.”

“Hey, how drunk are you?”

“Hey, how high are you?”

“Is that… a dead body?”

“We’re not alone in here…”

“What do you need me to do?”

“It’s not safe here, you should go.”

“I can’t believe you stole that!”

“Hey, stay close to me. Got it?”

“If they catch us, we’re dead.”

“… There’s no signal out here.”

“Where’s the money you owe me?”

“Have you ever done this before?”

“Did you bring what I asked?”

“I saw you steal that…”

“I think I dropped my weapon.”

“This is the last time I ever do this.”

“Shit, the cops are coming!”

“Wait. I think I heard footsteps.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“The cops are looking for us.”

“What the fuck is that?!”

“You’re gonna get hurt.”

“Next time, I’ll kill you.”

“It’s my first time doing this.”

“You’re gonna get us caught.”

“You seriously got high without me?”

“You seriously got drunk without me?”

“I’m never doing this with you again.”

“How’d you get all this money?”

“What are you doing out here?”

“What if something goes wrong?”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

“I’ve never gotten high before…”

“I’ve never gotten drunk before…”

“What the fuck did you do now?”

“Let’s go and do something bad.”

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t human.”

“So are we getting high, or what?”

“I’ll kill the asshole that did this to you.”

“It seems like you’ve done this before.”

“I have to be honest… this car is stolen.”

“What do you mean this isn’t your car?!”

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into this.”

“What do you mean this isn’t your house?!”

“That’s… a lot of drugs you’ve got there.”

“Please tell me you brought a weapon with you.”

“We don’t have to do this, we can turn around.”

“How much time will they give us if we get caught?”

“Watch the door for me? I’ll be out in five minutes.”

“Maybe it’s the drugs, but I swear I heard someone…”

“This is literally the worst fucking time to hurt your leg!”

“Are you about to go do something illegal? Count me in.”

“The engine is dead and we’re in the middle of nowhere. Fucking great.”

#starter #quick

[harico-t]

Plots based on kpop songs

Toy || Block B- Character A is in love with Character B, but Character B is just playing with Character A, and isn’t invested in the relationship. Key Line: “because you are the only one for me// and to you I am one of many.”

Bad || Infinite- typical bad girl/bad boy scenario, where the Character A comes and goes from Character B’s life in waves. Key Line: “you come to me like you have me/ you wrap around me/ then you disappear like a dream.”

Blood, Sweat, Tears || BTS - Character A gives their all in the relationship, and Character B is alluring and dangerous. A toxic relationship where Character A is more than willing to be hurt by Character B. Key Lines: “peaches and cream/sweeter than sweet/chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings/ but your wings are devil’s wings.”

Whistle || BLACKPINK - Character A finds Character B to be the most beautiful/handsome person. Character A is sought after, but only wants to be with Character B. Key Lines: “Don’t pass me by/if you can’t forget me either/my heart for you is fire.”

Liar Liar || Oh My Girl- Character A has a crush on Character B, but gets insecure and jealous when other people flirt with Character B, so refuses to own up to their crush. Typical “admire from afar” plot, or unrequited love. Key Lines: “not yet, not yet//I can’t tell him. Who’s that, who’s that//The pretty girl who said hi.”

Call Me Baby || EXO- Characters A and B are total strangers who meet suddenly, and Character A is immediately infatuated with them. Character proceeds to flirt and do anything to try and get with Character B. Key line: “I’ll do what I need to be the man by your side.”

Eyes, Nose Lips || Taeyang- Characters A and B are breaking up. Character A wants the breakup to go smoothly, but Character B is a mess. Character B was possessive to the point of them breaking up over it. Key line: “my selfishness that couldn’t let you go/my obsession that imprisoned you.”

If You || BIGBANG- Characters A and B are exes. It was a mutual breakup, but Character B is looking back on it and regretting the decision to break up with Character A. Character B realizes that they have to move on anyway, but they can’t. Key Line: “If it’s not too late, can’t we get back together?”

Beautiful Liar || VIXX LR- Character A is a cold person who has trouble expressing their feelings. They hide their feelings and hurt Character B to make Character B leave them because they believe that Character B is too good for them, and that they are ruining Character B. Key Line: “as I replay your face when you screamed go away/ I’m tainting our memories that were beautiful.”

Just Right || GOT7 - Characters A and B are dating. Character A is incredibly insecure about themselves, and believes that Character B shouldn’t be with them. Character B does everything in their power to make Character A see that they are perfect. Key Lines: “if you just stay the way you are now/ i want nothing more so don’t change anything.”

Like A Cat || AOA- Character A is a exotic dancer at a club. Character B is a wealthy person who comes in and pays high dollar to see Character A dance, to the point that Character A agrees to meet with them. Character B tries all the tricks to sleep with Character A, who is pleasantly surprised by the attention. Key Lines: “You say you’ve never seen a girl like me before/that you had a feeling as soon as you saw me/ said that I especially shined/even among the many people.”

Ah Choo || Lovelyz- Character A is your stereotypical domestic partner, and has a crush on Character B. Character A is incredibly sweet and shy, and is too afraid to go up to Character B, but leaves little notes and handmade snacks for Character B at work/school/whatever fits the scenario. Key Lines: “there’s so many things I want to tell you/my lips tickle and it’s hard to hold back.”

I’m Sorry || CNBLUE- Character A doesn’t like Character B anymore, but Character B doesn’t seem to understand that. Character A makes it a point to leave things early, and break off contact, but Character B doesn’t understand the implications. It is a breakup that is being avoided. Key lines: “you said you loved me/that i was the only one for you/but those were all lies.”

#starter call #quick

[harico-t]

DARK, THRILLING, AND/OR CRIMINAL SENTENCE STARTERS. [PT1] [PT2]

“I’m scared.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Are you scared?”

“Is this even legal?”

“Just trust me.”

“We’re locked in!”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“It’s too dark in here.”

“Why are we here?”

“They have a gun…”

“They have a knife…”

“Grab what you need, and let’s go.”

“Be quiet. Don’t let them see you.”

“Choose your victim.”

“We don’t have to do this.”

“They’re coming for us.”

“How do you know how to do that?”

“What the fuck are you doing in here?”

“We’re getting out of here unseen.”

“Something moved over there.”

“Do you have the stuff?”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“It’s not safe here.”

“This is your fault.”

“We’ve gotta go. Now.”

“Hey, how drunk are you?”

“Hey, how high are you?”

“Is that… a dead body?”

“We’re not alone in here…”

“What do you need me to do?”

“It’s not safe here, you should go.”

“I can’t believe you stole that!”

“Hey, stay close to me. Got it?”

“If they catch us, we’re dead.”

“… There’s no signal out here.”

“Where’s the money you owe me?”

“Have you ever done this before?”

“Did you bring what I asked?”

“I saw you steal that…”

“I think I dropped my weapon.”

“This is the last time I ever do this.”

“Shit, the cops are coming!”

“Wait. I think I heard footsteps.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“The cops are looking for us.”

“What the fuck is that?!”

“You’re gonna get hurt.”

“Next time, I’ll kill you.”

“It’s my first time doing this.”

“You’re gonna get us caught.”

“You seriously got high without me?”

“You seriously got drunk without me?”

“I’m never doing this with you again.”

“How’d you get all this money?”

“What are you doing out here?”

“What if something goes wrong?”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

“I’ve never gotten high before…”

“I’ve never gotten drunk before…”

“What the fuck did you do now?”

“Let’s go and do something bad.”

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t human.”

“So are we getting high, or what?”

“I’ll kill the asshole that did this to you.”

“It seems like you’ve done this before.”

“I have to be honest… this car is stolen.”

“What do you mean this isn’t your car?!”

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into this.”

“What do you mean this isn’t your house?!”

“That’s… a lot of drugs you’ve got there.”

“Please tell me you brought a weapon with you.”

“We don’t have to do this, we can turn around.”

“How much time will they give us if we get caught?”

“Watch the door for me? I’ll be out in five minutes.”

“Maybe it’s the drugs, but I swear I heard someone…”

“This is literally the worst fucking time to hurt your leg!”

“Are you about to go do something illegal? Count me in.”

“The engine is dead and we’re in the middle of nowhere. Fucking great.”

#quick

[harico-t]

{{ Please reblog this if you’re a mun who’s open for angst plotting. Death, pain, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, illness, misery, fighting, screaming, tears, hate, disgust, trauma, graphic gore, etc; I’m in need of threads. Thank you. }}

[harico-t]

SEND A SYMBOL FOR A CORRESPONDING PROMPT/STARTER.

[ ☎ ] my muse calls yours in tears.

[ ✪ ] our muses are stuck in an elevator together.

[ ◐ ] my muse is having a sleepover with your muse.

[ ✿ ] my muse attempts to cook dinner for your muse.

[ ◈ ] my muse makes a drunk confession to your muse.

[ ღ ] my muse makes an attempt to cheer your muse up.

[ ✦ ] my muse pushes yours out of frustration/anger.

[ ❢ ] my muse discovers yours all bloodied and bruised.

[ ➤ ] my muse accidentally punches your muse in the face.

[ ⌚ ] my muse recalls their favorite memory with your muse.

[ ✜ ] my muse collapses in front of yours, all bloodied and bruised.

[ ☯ ] my muse tells yours that they never want to see them again.

[ ✈ ] my muse asks yours to accompany them on a trip/mission/etc.

[ ● ] my muse catches yours snooping through their belongings.

[ ☻ ] my muse wakes up in your muse’s closet the night after a party.

[ ✌ ] my muse reaches out to yours after months of no communication.

[ ☢ ] the car broke down in an unfamiliar part of town, and our muses are lost.

[ ✠ ] it’s three in the morning and my muse unexpectedly arrives at your muse’s home.

[ ☁ ] the entire city is without power due to a storm, and our muses run into each other during a supply run.

#quick

[harico-t]

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ INTERACTIONS for TWINS

Plot Ideas

 Adagio || AU + General

Twin A is a famous singer/actor. Twin B is constantly mistaken for Twin A, which makes daily life a nightmare. Both end up meeting to settle the difference.

Banana Pie || Any Verse + Any Verse  

 Twin A is volunteering for a fundraiser. One pie to the face =  $$ to the cause. Twin B is next in line to squish the pie. 

Cataracts || Any Verse + Any Verse

Both twins visit the eye doctor on the same day. One needs prescription glasses while the other has outstanding eyesight. The reports are mixed up. Twin A and Twin B cannot see clearly and walk each other home.

Digger || AU + General

Twin A is reckless. Nights out, mornings spent scrubbing sin away with a toothbrush, and countless hangovers embody this portion of Twin A’s life. Twin B is famous, and begins to take notice of the scandals in the magazines. Twin A already  knows of Twin B and proposes a deal: he/she gets a cut of Twin B’s luxurious lifestyle in exchange for good behavior.

Fake Out || Any Verse + Any Verse

Twin A is at a point in his/her life where everything is unclear. They don’t know who they are or why they act the way they do. Soon they meet Twin B and become attached at the hip. Twin A and Twin B do everything together in hopes of finding out more about themselves, though they are completely different. 

Intrepid || Any Verse + Any Verse || NSFW

Twin A is under the influence of alcohol or a strong hallucinogen and meets Twin B on the way home. Convinced that they’re warped in a dream and have no consequences, Twin A coaxes Twin B to come with them for the craziest (And possibly best) night of their lives. 

Sentence Starters

“You have no taste in women. She kept quoting a line from Underworld and telling me to growl at her…” “This is bad…I only had three beers and I’m already seeing duplicates of myself. Please take me to the hospital.” “Hey, sweet ass.” “Plastic surgery is incredible these days. Why the hell did you pick my face?” “You and I are going to have a talk.” “Why is that guy staring?” “Hey, you wanna freak some people out? Let me kiss you.” “You know I can’t keep cleaning up your mess. We’re both going to get in trouble soon.” “Give me your jacket and I’ll help you at work. Your boss will shit her pants.” “Do you really think that I can pull this off?” “My hair should not ever look like that.” “Some old lady hit me because you messed with her car.” “But you’re so cute when you’re angry.”

#quick

[harico-t]

WANTED PLOTS!

muse a is from a foreign country and doesn’t know how to speak the local language and is trying to order something at this restaurant muse b is at, too. so muse b offers to help and hey, is that chemistry going on between them? because people start thinking they’re actually a couple.

muse a and muse b were in love during high school and everything was good until muse a had to move to another country and now they meet again under whole new circumstances: muse a is still in love with muse b, but muse b is taken… and super happy with this other person.

this horrible thunderstorm is happening and both muse a and muse b are at this other town, soaking wet and cold, and they missed the last train to their home town. to make things even better, neither of them have enough money to pay for a night at a motel, so hey, i don’t know you, but wanna share a room for tonight? (extra: both actually feel hella attracted to one another and are single)

muse a sings like an angel but is really shy so they only sing in the shower. everyday, muse b, who is their neighbor, listens to their singing and thinks muse a is actually a professional singer. one day they meet at the elevator of their building and muse b really wants to ask for muse a to sing a song for them, or just compliment them. but how will they do so without making things awkward? and to top this situation, muse a is also a lot attractive.

muse a doesn’t know how to cook and finds out an a+ chef (muse b) has just moved into their building and everyday they smell the food coming from the apartment next to them, so they decide to knock on their door and ask them to feed them/teach them how to cook decently.

muse a is allergic to something (like dogs) that muse b loves and has on their apartment and they fight all the time because they’re neighbors and muse a can’t stop sneezing but muse b doesn’t want to give that thing up, but there’s a hidden sexual tension between them too.

muse a and muse b have this one night stand after drinking way too much at a party/bar/etc and the next day muse a finds out muse b is actually a person of note. meanwhile, muse b was totally enchanted by muse a and wants to find out who they are, but has no idea of how to start. no, wait. is that muse a the waitress in that restaurant i’ve just stepped in?! oh fuck.

#quick

[harico-t]

TEXT MESSAGE STARTERS ! Send one of the prompts below to get a response from my muse.

drunk texts:

( ✉ → sms ) plea se eh elep me im drunk and i dotn know whe re i am

( ✉ → sms ) i fukcing miss yo u

( ✉ → sms ) i look so fuckigjn GOOD

( ✉ → sms ) i csnst stop throwiging up

( ✉ → sms ) fu ck you  for hurting me

( ✉ → sms ) why dotn you ever call me anymore huh

( ✉ → sms ) stop being so fuckigjn borign and coekm to my party

( ✉ → sms ) i dropped my pzziza o nt eh floror im fuckgin pissed

( ✉ → sms ) i j sut left you a 3 mintue long voicemail singing. sorry

( ✉ → sms ) even when i’m durnk ic ant sotp thinking about oyu

hateful texts:

( ✉ → sms ) you’re pathetic

( ✉ → sms ) you make me miserable

( ✉ → sms ) fuck you. delete my number.

( ✉ → sms ) you never meant anything to me, anyway.

( ✉ → sms ) fuck your apologies, you can keep them.

( ✉ → sms ) congrats on always ruining everything

( ✉ → sms ) my life would be so much easier without you.

( ✉ → sms ) and next time you feel like calling me… don’t.

( ✉ → sms ) i don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

( ✉ → sms ) if your goal was to make me hate you, then congratulations. mission accomplished.

misc/random texts:

( ✉ → sms ) i think my neighbor is an alien.

( ✉ → sms ) help me think of a name for my new dog

( ✉ → sms ) sooooo… what was your first impression of me

( ✉ → sms ) should i get pizza or chicken wings for dinner?

( ✉ → sms ) no one’s ever made me feel the way you do.

( ✉ → sms ) i borrowed your weed. hope you don’t mind.

( ✉ → sms ) why do they say drugs are bad when they make you feel so good

( ✉ → sms ) today is the oldest you’ve ever been, but the youngest you’ll ever be again…

( ✉ → sms ) [ File Attached: 001329.jpg ] of all the drunk pictures i have of you, this one is my favorite.

( ✉ → sms ) i used your pics to catfish someone, and since they bought me a laptop… you have a date with them tomorrow.

#quick

[harico-t]

‘Shit My Friends Said’ Sentence Starters

‘ Isn’t it a little early for your sexual deviancy? ‘

‘ How the tables have tabled. ‘

‘ This is me at peak romance, _____. This is all you get. ‘

‘ I’m always ready to lie to your face. ‘

‘ We can’t let a goat bully us out our house! ‘

‘ How is “won’t” a contraction of will not? Shouldn’t it be “willn’t”? ‘

‘ Yeah, the moon is pretty far away. At least ten miles. ‘

‘ It’s not a sex party, it’s a fetish festival. ‘

‘ Wait, is this a kink? ‘

‘ I don’t want to be an adult either, buddy, but if I have to do it so do you! Come out of that fucking cocoon! ‘

‘ I think I represent all types of panic pretty well actually. ‘

‘ Please go to church. ‘

‘ It’s a God, you blasphemous fuck. ‘

‘ _____ is perfectly evolved to eat ass. ‘

‘ Shut the up fuck I hate you. ‘

‘ I can’t kill you, where else am I going to get this entertainment? ‘

‘ I am not being held accountable for your evil. ‘

‘ ____, whatever you do, do not fuck the enemy. ‘

‘ Good. This is a nice amount of injuries. Zero. Let’s aspire to this again. ‘

‘ Stop doing that thing with your face. ‘

‘ I have no idea how that arrow got there. Are we sure it wasn’t always there? ‘

‘ She’s immensely attractive and I’m scared she’d hit me. ‘

‘ Honestly, you only have your self to blame for this disappointment. ‘

‘ Don’t you just have a second child if the first isn’t good enough? That’s what my dad did. ‘ 

‘ I’m toying with adulthood but I’m not totally there yet. ‘

‘ Breathing. Another male privilege. ‘

‘ Why would you drink this, and why does it look like chocolate? ‘

‘ You sense sobriety from someone who doesn’t want to be sober. ‘

‘ I had a furry phase but it was an accident. ‘

‘ Please don’t call semen impregnation fluid. ‘

‘ We didn’t fail. That suggests we’re finished. ‘

‘ This is why we can’t be together. ‘

‘ You’d make a lovely wife! ‘

‘ It was well intentioned violence. Benevoiolence. ‘

‘ Humiliation can be a useful tool for improvement. ‘

‘ I’m naming my first grey hair after you. ‘

‘ It’s cute, bitch. ‘

‘ Wipe that fucking grin off your face, you sack of shit. ‘

‘ You don’t need to whip it out that often. ‘

‘ I feel weird hitting on you. You’re like a mom. ‘

#quick