heck-in-a-handbasket

[heck-in-a-handbasket]

Do u ever read a friend’s fic and it’s like holy shit how do you consider me qualified to talk to you?

#yes yes a thousand times yes #it changed my life when I realized you know what actually I write pretty good stuff #love what you write and write what you love #you deserve to love your own work

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Fandom: God there’s like NO content anymore. I wish we could get more art and fanfics :(((

Someone: Hey, I can’t draw anything digitally, because I can’t afford a tablet, but here’s a pen on paper drawing that I spent a lot of time and hard work on. Also, I took a shot at my first fanfic and I’d really like some feedback or at least some kudos if you enjoyed it :)

Fandom: Oh... yeah sorry no... not you. We actually meant writers that are already well known and popular to produce MORE content... I mean, if a popular blog shares your work then maybe. And we don’t really like pen to paper art. We just don’t think it’s professional or even looks good :/

#fandom is conversation not consumption really got me all emotional #if you don’t find the stuff you like it’s time to make it yourself #more creativity is always better #love to see the things y’all create

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I am often guilty of “saving” things for later, for a nonspecific, more special time.

I’ve learned through this long, hard experience that there is no better time. There is nothing more special and nothing more guaranteed than the present.

When we ended up back in the pediatric ICU I kept thinking of the last gift my daughter had received at Christmas that I’d put back for a “special” time. It’s a single use magic reveal toy so I “saved” it for later.

sometimes later doesn’t come.

Use the good plates. Eat the special treats. Open the magic toys. Use up the art supplies and burn the candles.

Right now, this very moment, is special, because you are here to enjoy it.

So, enjoy.

#truly no time like the present because here you are and you are special #this got personal whoops

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This is a super rough draft and I'm working to polish it up for AO3 but have some childhood friends who kissed (no homo) second chance romance(?) Harringrove

I haven't posted anything in forever and this idea took over my body so uh I hope you like it? If you don't? Don't tell me lmao

Now I'm thinking about childhood friends Steve and Billy who practice kissing and whatever it's totally not gay. But Steve is like imagining their life after high school together, how they're gonna go to the same college and be roommates. Maybe if they get to kiss sometimes still that would be fine.

He tells Billy about it cause they're best friends and they tell each other everything. He thought Billy was on board. He helped Steve study, made sure he graduated.

So he's a little surprised when he gets to the school and Billy's Camaro isn't there cause he was running late but Billy always did like to make an entrance. Except Steve keeps checking down their row in the stadium and Billy never shows up. Doesn't come running onto the field when they call his name.

When he goes to return the cap and gown and pick up his diploma after the ceremony, the lady at the table check's her list and tells Steve "Looks like Billy picked his up the last day of class."

There's a big hole in the middle of Steve's chest that never really quite goes away. Not through college and parties or meeting his wife and getting married. Having his kids helps a bit but it's always there, sharp and jagged just like the boy who made it.

Steve focuses on work and raising his kids and maybe that's why his marriage falls apart. His wife handed him a big Manila envelope with sadness in her eyes. "You're a great dad and there's a part of me that will always love you, but I don't think you ever loved me, Steve, and I deserve better than that. We both do."

He agreed to everything, got split custody, and moved into an apartment in the city. It was beige and empty, but he covered it with pictures of his kids and ignored the way the hole in his chest started crumbling inward, growing every morning he woke up to silence until he felt hollow.

Steve got the kids for the summer and rented an RV. They were driving to California cause the kids had never seen the Pacific, he told his ex. She shrugged and sent them all off with hugs and kisses on the forehead. If a tiny voice in the back of his head called him a liar, he ignored it.

They ate at hole in the wall diners off the highway, but Steve splurged on hotels with pools cause sue him he was too high maintenance to live without soft sheets and good shower pressure.

Somewhere in Kansas or Colorado, Steve couldn't remember where they were right then, he saw the gas gauge getting low and pulling off at the next exit to find a place to get gas.

Steve almost ran a red light when he saw the sign at the convenience store on the corner. It had his brain lighting up like fireworks, memories of a past he didn't normally let himself think about crashing against the inside of his skull like waves.

There was no way. It was just a coincidence. He made sure the kids were fine and swung into the parking lot after the light turned green. "Dad's just a little tired. We'll find a place to check in after I fill up the tank."

The gas pump was old fashioned, not a single card reader in sight, and Steve shook his head with a chuckle, before rounding up the kids and heading inside. They dumped way too many snacks on the counter when they got to the front of the line. "Can I also get $40 on pump 3?" here told the guy behind the counter who was restocking cigarettes.

Short blonde hair, wide shoulders under a worn t-shirt, jeans so tight they molded to his ass and had Steve biting the inside of his cheek because he was in public, for fuck's sake.

He had to be really hard up if he was on the verge of making a spectacle of himself over some rando in a gas station. A grunt and the guy turned, pinning Steve with the brightest blue eyes Steve had ever seen.

Ones that haunted his dreams. "Billy?" he whispered, wallet slipping out of his numb fingers.

The guy who couldn't be Billy blinked at him, except he said, "Steve."

Robbie tugged on the hem of his shirt. "Who's that, dad?"

"Dad?" Billy repeated, sounding confused and a little accusatory. And seriously, fuck him.

"Just someone I used to know." He needed to get out of there before he made a scene of a different kind by jumping over the counter and punching Billy in his stupid, perfect face. "How much do I owe you?"

Billy's frown deepened. He bagged up all of the snacks, no longer meeting Steve's eyes and said, "Don't worry about it" when he handed them over.

Nope. He was not making it that easy. *You left. You left me. Why did you leave me?* clamored to get passed his lips, but Steve refused to be that pathetic when Billy obviously hadn't cared as much as Steve. He got his wallet off the floor and slapped his credit card on the counter, handing the kids the bags to hold.

Billy rolled his eyes, the way he had whenever they were kids and Steve did something Billy thought was stupid. They stood on silence except for the chatter of his kids and the bell chiming over the door when someone else came in. Steve took his receipt without a word.

"Come on, you two, let's go." He herded the kids toward the door, determined to walk out on Billy the way the other man had walked out on him, but Steve never did have much self control.

Billy was still watching him and their eyes met when Steve looked over his shoulder. "You know a good hotel around here?"

"There's a Best Western a few blocks down. Nicest place in town."

Was he imagining the question in Billy's eyes? Steve didn't know. Grace whined, "Come on, dad," the way only teenagers could and Steve let the door swing closed behind him.

Part of Steve was anticipating the knock at the door after the sun had set and the kids were both curled up in their beds. The other part called him an idiot for still holding a torch for the guy who broke his heart.

The rap on the door was soft, but Steve still jumped, tripping over his feet when he got off the couch.

There was Billy on the other side of the door, a cigarette dangling from his lips, hands shoved into his pockets.

Mindful of his kids, Steve stepped outside, leaving the door cracked behind him, while they stared at each other, the weight of all the years between them.

Billy broke the silence first, pulling the cigarette from his mouth, ash flicked from the tip in a cascade of sparks. "Where's Mrs. Harrington?"

That was about all Steve could take. He shoved at Billy's chest, still as solid as it had been back in high school, the prick. Billy didn't budge an inch. "I got divorced last year."

Billy took a long drag, a quiet "Shit" exhaled on a cloud of smoke.

"Yeah." Steve took the cigarette from Billy like they used to. He hadn't had a drag in years and almost choked.

There was no laughter, no jibe at Steve forgetting how to smoke. Instead, one of Billy's hands rubbed circles against Steve's back. Just that one touch unlocked something in Steve, all the years of longing, of loneliness, of regret. He wrapped his free hand around Billy's waist and tucked his face into the other man's chest.

"Why?" It came out garbled and wet from his tears but Billy understood all the same.

His answer made his tears run faster. But it was okay because size Billy's arms wrapped around him, holding Steve together. "Because I loved you too much."

"You're a fucking asshole."

"I know."

"I loved you too."

"I know." Of course he had.

They stayed like that until Steve got himself back together, the cigarette left to snuff itself out on the concrete. His eyes red and puffy and Billy wiped the moisture off his cheeks with his thumbs.

Steve leaned into Billy’s calloused palms, pulling the scent of Marlboroughs and warm skin into his lungs. He sniffed loud, echoed by the crickets and the distant traffic. He needed to say something or else he’d start crying again because Billy was looking at him the way Steve always secretly dreamed Billy would look at him one day.

He wanted to know what the hell he ‘loved him too much’ to stay meant, but this thing—could he call it a thing? Robin would probably call him a dingus right about now—was too shaky, like a house built on a cliff during an earthquake.

So instead, he said, “You know I meant why’d you pick that name when I asked why, but thanks for the declaration, I guess.”

Steve felt Billy’s chuckle where their chests still touched. “Now who’s the asshole?”

And, okay, Steve really was curious because Billy had to be the one who owned that place and had the balls to slap Pretty Boy on the front of a building.

Which meant he thought about Steve and the nickname he bestowed upon him enough to name his business after him. To have to see it every day and think about Steve.

So he was curious, but not enough to stop and ask when Billy was angling Steve’s head with the hand still holding his cheek to press their lips together.

It had been decades since the last time Steve and Billy kissed and it was still the best feeling in the world. The feeling of a full beard was new, but Billy’s hands felt the same, cradling the back of Steve’s head, the other pressed low on his back.

He still tasted like cigarettes and the mint gum he liked to chew.

Steve didn’t pull away until he heard the bathroom door close inside the room and even then he didn’t go far, pressing their foreheads together so they were still sharing the same air for as long as possible.

“How long are you here for?” Billy whispered, like he was afraid if he spoke too loudly, he would shatter the moment like spun glass.

“Just until tomorrow. The kids and I are going to California for the summer.” Saying it out loud, in front of Billy, made it feel like a dirty little secret. Billy knew why Steve was going there of all places if they way one side of his mouth kicked up. Steve had missed that smirk. He’d missed a lot of things if her were being honest.

“Maybe you can swing back through on your way back.”

The hopeful note Steve heard made him feel bold, reckless. “You should come with us.”

“What?”

“To California. You should come with us. I got an RV so there’s plenty of room. We could take turns driving. Grace and Robbie are cool kids, I swear. I’m realizing now that I said that that it’s kind of weird. Forget it—” His nervous rambling was cut off by Billy’s lips.

“Shut up, pretty boy. I’ve been wanting to go to California with you my whole life.” And, oh. Well, Steve was done for. His hands curled into the fabric of Billy’s shirt, holding on for dear life, scared if he let go Billy would disappear. “Besides, I should probably get to know your rugrats before I ask their dad to marry me.”

Steve's eye went comically wide and his heart stopped and that hole in his chest felt like Billy had slapped a patch over it. He wheezed. “Huh?”

“You think I’m letting you go again, Harrington?”

That was fine with Steve.

#I love this #there should be a tag for fics started in the Cave #harringrove #dilf steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove fanfiction

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“you’ve already left kudos here :)” WELL LEAVE THEM AGAIN !!

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My @bigbangharringrove fic, A Year In The Life, is up now on AO3! You can read it here!

It’s accompanied by these absolutely stunning pieces of art by the incredible @dreaminginpencil!

I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

#harringrove bigbang #harringrove fic #stranger things fanart #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington

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I know that’s not what people do anymore but thanks for the follow! I recently started reading your stories and I love your character work so much omg. Take Me Home Tonight was just so delicious and beautiful. I read it effortlessly within a few days which is something I haven’t been able to do in a while because of neurological issues.

Not sure what you’re going through medically right now but I hope things get better and turn out okay in the end!

You know, I think Take Me Home Tonight might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. That and my first two books. When I reread it I see a lot of technical errors but I wouldn’t change much about the story, it still makes me happy. I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

It’s not a secret. About a year and a half ago we discovered that my preschool age daughter had a brain tumor and we’ve been in the cycle of surgery, treatment and recovery ever since. It’s very hard.

Sending you hope for good days ahead, thanks for reading and for reaching out!

#nice asks #sometimes knowing someone enjoyed my work keeps me going when things are hard #i appreciate y’all

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thanks for the love, everyone. It’s been hard.

We’re back home, recovering. There are a lot of tests and doctors appointments coming up so I can’t make any promises but I will try to write again when I can.

#i’m so exhausted #it never gets any easier #thanks for being kind and having patience

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well we ended up back in the hospital, in the PICU, so all projects are once again put on hold. life is hard right now.

The zine I contributed to, Kings of Nowhere, is still going strong, but other fanworks will have no set timeline.

My new book just came out, and I’ll make a separate post for it but here’s a link if you want to check it out.

#it’s been an actual nightmare #sorry for the delay on updates I just don’t know when I can write again #the horrors really do persist don’t they #harringrove #hop in this handbasket we’re going to heck

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if you've never engaged with a creative art on a regular basis you need to understand that it requires concerted effort to get into "the groove" to make something and every second that it takes to get into that groove causes physical pain, but the only thing worse than doing it is not doing it.

#okay yes exactly this

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new fic up: Glory of Love

it’s about exactly what you think it’s about

#aw thank you #the gloryhole is a metaphor #but also very much a gloryhole #harringrove #harringrove fanfic #harringrove fic

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Fanfic readers trying to find another fic exactly like the last one they read:

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new fic up: Glory of Love

it’s about exactly what you think it’s about

#harringrove fanfic #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove fic #hop in this handbasket we’re going to heck

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There's a script that adds a "comment kudos" button next to the kudos button on Ao3, and it adds a random nice comment to a fic from a short list that you can add to or edit.

It's perfect for people that aren't good at commenting or don't know what they want to say.

*poke* @feedthefandomfest

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BEHOLD! This year's gingerbread creation: Ginger the Octopus!

I bought a pepakura pattern from Papercraftfreakshop on Etsy (link here) and used that as a base, even though I had to adapt it a bit due to me making it in ... well, gingerbread.

The whole thing is 100% edible, and made out of gingerbread, icing (or is it called frosting?) and small chocolate candies only.

It has taken me ... AGES. Approximately about 30-40 hours? (just baking the pieces, one by one, took 15 hours over a weekend) But worth it. Look at her. She's so pretty.

(For progess shots and exclamation of regret, see here)

#this is unbelievably good #so talented #gingerbread house

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wilf (wip i’d like to finish)

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FML writer here, so glad to see you post again and to hear that you're doing well. 💛

I'm getting back into writing soon, since last year was filled with multiple tragedies and setbacks that had me reeling. Things are looking up and healing now, so I'm eager to resume the fic. I'm hoping to post a new chapter by this weekend (hope everyone is ready for some flustered Steve and maybe not so smooth Billy!)- as always, your writing inspires me. 💚

I know how it is when life suddenly jumps the tracks. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with so much. Please never feel pressured to post or to write when you aren’t feeling up to it.

writing is art and the most important component of the art is you.

I love your story and I’m always excited to read more, but please take all the time you need.

not-so-smooth Billy is my absolute favorite, I love when he’s embarrassingly smitten, love to see what you do with them!

#harringrove #nice asks