herhighnessthequeen

[herhighnessthequeen]

My Adult Glow-Up

aka: me getting my shit together

Fixing your sleeping schedule -  Yes, way harder than it seems and I completely understand if your job gets in the way; just make sure you’re getting you 7-8 hours of sleep bb. Naps are great too!

Eating fucking breakfast - Bagels, cereal, smoothie or just a banana anything to fill your tummy up with food for your meds or vitamins! Treat your body as if you were a toddler!

Smelling good - Super hard to get into the shower sometimes, and I know how comfy your bed is but it needs to happen mama. Dry Shampoo and baby wipes if you’re in a pinch

SKIN CARE - Even i’m trying to keep up with this one, and don’t forget sunscreen! I can hear your pores crying for help!!

Complete hygiene routine - this is one of those where it varies from person to person. Ex: brushing teeth 2x a day, Complete showers (exfoliating, hair mask, the full routine) not just quick body showers anymore. Whatever works for you!

Screen time - whether it’s TikTok, Tumblr, Instagram you need to stay off of it babe, even 30 minutes make a HUGE difference. When ur in public and have anxiety that’s completely fine but try to find something that stimulates your mind like books, articles, podcasts!! Maybe like mine, ‘Your Go-To Bitch’ available anywhere you listen to podcasts! ;> 

Deadlines - TBH anything that you haven’t gotten done! Even if they don’t have a deadline, let’s all get our shit together!, ADHD laundry piles, taking out the trash, deadlines for work all of the above! Let’s ease our minds a little more. Don’t forget to go at your own pace.

Deep cleaning - This is another one that will vary from person to person but one thing i advise is CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ELECTRONICS!! Your phone, AirPods, laptop etc! Just please do it!!!

Make a DEEP WORK playlist - is there that one music genre or couple of songs that make you feel and be productive? Create a playlist that keeps you on your grind and get some shit done!

Go to therapy - this one might be a little harder because of the U.S. healthcare system but there are plenty of free resources online. 

Spend time with loved ones -  No seriously, real loved ones! Family may not your first chance, mine definitely isn’t but hanging out with people that make you feel like your floating does wonders which bring me to another point

Communication - Tell people how you really are feeling, I know it might feel like you’re a burden or annoying but you’re not! Talk/rant about your shitty day at work and if they seem annoyed or burdened by you FUCK THEM!!! Your feelings are valid and you deserve to be heard.  (REVISON: I don’t mean emotionally unloading on some one without their permission, I mean bad friends who roll their eyes, gaslight you into thinking that it’s just your mental illness, and switch up on you every Tuesday . Just people who don’t want to see you winning babe!!!)

Recreate a Nostalgic Meal - Now I’m not saying you have to have a whole ratatouille moment over your dinner but make/recreate something that brings you instant peace, your inner child might miss it more than you think babe.

Don’t forget your worth babe! - I know how hard it is, I used to always look at posts like this and roll my eyes but I hate to admit it but it helps! Don’t forget that you are that fucking bitch and keep your head held up HIGH!

xoxoxo

-Your Go-To Bitch 💕💕

[herhighnessthequeen]

Tips that have helped me with my depression.

Disclamier: These are things that have helped me personally stay busy but happy after an attempt. Take what you need and leave what you don’t bb <3

‘Just do it’ mentality - Trust me the last thing I want to do is chores and let’s face it simple hygiene stuff like brushing your teeth, showering etc. However, since my recent hospitalization, I have forced myself to get back into a routine and back to human civilization. So if I don’t want to wash the dishes? Annalee, fuck it and just do it! Laundry? Annalee, fuck it and just do it! Fake it till you make it right?? It saves my mind at the end of the day.

Cleaning - I hate it so say it but it’s true, a clean space is a clear mind. Start small! Bedside table, washing your bedsheets, clearing your bathroom counter. Small steps and go at your own pace! Each task is a step to a cleaner and more organized space.

Therapy - personally I have a therapist which I highly recommend but thanks to terrible healthcare in the U.S it’s out of grasp for others. Now this one may not be for everybody, depending on the circumstances. But bb its time; therapy, shadow work, self reflection, even healing you inner child is a start. Ex: Going for ice cream and eating it at a park was a great start for me and my inner child. There are almost plenty of resources for free therapy, most depend on your location. Please approach that cautiously and safely 

Meals - Being in the behavioral hospital was overwhelming but the thing i’m surprised it helped me with is recognizing my hunger cues. Most of us are not breakfast people, and I am definitely not one but it’s what has been keeping me going; and by going I mean out of bed (even if I go to bed right after i’m done) Please eat bb, you deserve it.

Finding a hobby - Most people might have this one down and other may not but find something that makes you happy even if you’re not good at it. Mine is plants, i’ve killed a couple a lot along the way but spending time on them brings me true joy. Find that spark again

Self Isolation -  Living with BPD has been a challenge when it comes to me isolating myself, so i’ve said fuck it and started making plans with friends and it’s been working?? Sure there were some cancelations but some real connections made non the less. Say yes to the friend that you always cancel on! I know it’s hard but it’s like a work out, you feel so great afterwards! (I’d take this with a grain of salt because I know how hard it is to be around certain friends. Triggers, snide comments etc)

NO FRAUDS - In the words of Mrs. Minaj. I don’t need no, frauds. I don’t need no, drama when you call. I don’t need no, fake. Coming from someone who just let go of her FAVORITE PERSON (bpd term?) recently I know it’s fucking hard to let go but I needed it and have been feeling so much better without the dead weight. If someone has come to your mind after reading this chances are you need to let them go bb!!

Delete the playlists babe! - Delete the Mistki, delete Marvin’s Room by Drake, delete godspeed by Frank, delete any songs that you usually cry in the car to. Trust me this isn’t the mania talking, just delete the sad/heartbreak playlists

If you’ve completed all of this and feel like it’s way too much, I completely understand and by all means go at your own pace and LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!! Personally all of these have been keeping me out of bed and not self-loathing 24/7. Maybe it’s mania, maybe it’s not but it’s been keeping me going for more than 6 weeks?  xoxox

-Your Go-To Bitch

[herhighnessthequeen]

Depression plan

This is the plan I have in my nightstand to give myself ideas to cope.

High energy activities

High energy yoga

Exercise (go to the gym)

Clean your space

Get dressed

Go for a walk

Go to a plant nursery

Bake while listening to big band

Make a healthy snack - apples and peanut butter, yogurt, tangerines.

Make yourself look nice

Buy snacks and wine

Light the fire pit and sit by it

Go to bed on time (use valerian if needed)

Dessert in a mug

Plan something!

Redecorate

Garden

Low energy activities

Make my bed

Open window

Use crystals

Watch a movie

Watch a show

Use orange scented things

Gentle yoga like yin or restorative or seated yoga.

Asmr

Meditation

Write or read in journal

Cup of tea

Take a bath

Light a candle

Do a face mask

Write a love letter to yourself

Drink ice water with lemon or mint

Pray

Make hot cocoa

Sit outside

Make a tumblr post

Make a fort

Animal crossing

Listen to upbeat music and dance

Talk it out

[herhighnessthequeen]

Is your podcast name ciicii?? Im having trouble finding u on there and insta

My insta for the pod is @ygtbpod and you haven’t been able to find the podcast because I archived it. I’ve really been going through it but I really want to start recording again! 💕xxx

[herhighnessthequeen]

i can’t find your podcast on spotify :(

Sorry babe I haven’t kept up with it, I’ve been ill. I’ll try my hardest to get it back up

[herhighnessthequeen]

fuck this handmaids tale country.

[herhighnessthequeen]

oh and btw if you're not aware Thomas has stated (very clearly) that they are coming for:

Griswold (contraception)

Lawrence (same-sex sexual intercourse)

Obergefell (gay marriage)

[herhighnessthequeen]

If it wasn’t for y’all, I wouldn’t have gone to the hospital that night. Love y’all

[herhighnessthequeen]

hey i’m sorry if this is weird but i just wanted to thank you? for putting your podcast out. i listened to the last one when i was having a hard time and it feels like talking to friends. so thank you for doing this. and for making your help posts. you’re very much appreciated

I know you sent me this a while ago but I really needed it right now.💕 I’m sorry I haven’t been consistent but I’m going to try to be. I hope to continue to make people feel better because y’all make me l better. I love and miss you guys

[herhighnessthequeen]

Stepping up your hygiene

This post is ALL about hygiene and self care. It covers pretty much everything you could think of. ENJOY.

SHOWER

Exfoliating - Ok so for shower care you should be exfoliating 2-3 times a week. It’s really up to you what you use to exfoliate. Exfoliating should be done regularly it keeps your skin nice and smooth as well as getting rid of bumps and marks. To exfoliate you can invest in exfoliating gloves or a body scrub. You can even make a homemade body scrub out of olive oil and sugar/salt. Another bath essential for me is my back scrubber. I know some people struggle with body acne and back acne and I heard that really helps. It’s just nice to feel that your whole body is smooth. Another exfoliating tool are exfoliating scrub bars. Lush has a lot of nice ones, I recommend the Scrubee. These are good because they exfoliate and moisturise at the same time!

If you’re using a loofah or any kind of sponge remember they need to be replaced and you should do so every two months or more often if you would like.

Find a body wash that actually works for your skin. If you have dry skin you may want a creamy, moisturising soap. If you have sensitive skin you would want to use a more natural soap. Find what works for you!

Make sure you’re washing everything, that means your booty crack, behind your ears, your coochie, your belly button. All of it!

SHAVING

If you exfoliate before and after you shave you will feel super smooth and soft after!

Invest in a good shaving cream, lush also has a nice one. If you’re out of shaving cream you can always use conditioner. Leaves your skin super smooth.

Use a razor with multiple blades, men’s razors are very good for a nice clean shave.

Remember to rinse your razor!!

There is no need to press hard, be gentle when you shave.

AFTER SHOWER CARE

Skin (body) - Ok so if you have dry skin like me you want to moisturise as soon as you come out of the shower. On top of my regular body lotion I use a body oil as well. The name of the body oil I use is Palmer’s Moisturising Body Oil. This smells so good and goes amazing with my cocoa butter lotion. I would also recommend almond oil. This is such a good addition especially for summer because it leaves you nice and glowy!

Perfume - Ok so this is important for building your signature scent. People always ask me how to do it but it’s really so simple. Your signature scent is going to be a combination of your body lotion, perfume and or body mist. I personally use cocoa butter scented lotion. A good scent to go along with this could be vanilla. If you use a floral perfume you would want a body lotion that smells fresh or fruity.

Skin Care - A good thing to invest in is skin care especially this summer who wouldn’t want to look fresh and glowy. Set days that you’re going to do face masks. I write down my skin care routine on my mini whiteboard so I remember what days I do what, I also find it motivates me when I’m lazy. You can always make your own face masks or buy them. I always think the more natural the better but there are some shop bought ones I like. Spend some time and do some research to find the best mask for your skin. Another thing to buy is eye gel masks. These are so nice I always feel so much brighter after I use them. One more thing I would recommend is keeping a face mist with you. You can buy one or make your own. I love using rose water I spray my face with it literally every five seconds lmao! It also smells amazing and keeps you looking nice and fresh!

Feet - When it comes to looking after your feet it really depends on what your normal routine is. It’s always nice to invest in yourself and go to get your nails done but you can also take care of your feet from home! For your at home foot care you can get a small tub and soak your feet in warm water (I like to add essential oils too). Then after they’ve been soaked I grab my pumice stone which is a great investment, it keeps your feet super smooth. I would recommend buying a foot file of some sort. Another thing to invest in is a cuticle oil this is good for both your toes and fingernails. Then when I’ve soaked and dried I use my foot cream. Now this is obviously a little extra you can use a regular cream but a special cream for your feet is a good buy. I use the Soap and Glory foot cream.

HAIR

Ok so you should make an effort to deep condition once a week. If you don’t have a deep conditioner you can make one with conditioner and a variety of oils mixed together. Twist your hair up and throw on a shower cap and do some chores. If anyone wants a recommendation I use the Aunt Jackies in control conditioner.

Buy some oils for your hair, here’s a quick breakdown of what oils do what.

Sealants - this means you apply after you have moisturised your hair, these oils seal in moisture!

- Peppermint Oil: stimulates the scalp and increases hair growth. (apply to scalp or add to your shampoo)

- Olive Oil: promotes scalp health, good for hair growth and keeps hair soft and shiny. sealant

- Jojoba Oil: encourages hair regrowth and moisturises hair! Eliminates frizz and adds shine. sealant

- Avocado Oil: moisturises, repairs and strengthens hair. Is good for penetrating the hair shaft so it’s great for moisture. Contains vitamin D so it’s good for the generation of new hair follicles. sealant

- Argan Oil: high in vitamin E, good for dry scalp and dandruff. Keeps hair protected from damage. sealant

- Jamaican Black Castor Oil: increases blood circulation to the scalp and encourages hair growth. Balances the pH of your scalp. Stops scalp infections, inflammation and dandruff. Makes your hair stronger and replenishes natural oils in your hair.

Make time to do a hot oil treatment if your hair is feeling dry

Massage your scalp and oil it during the week.

Make sure to moisturise the ends of your hair, this is how you retain length!

Wrap your hair, wear a bonnet or invest in silk pillow cases.

Buy silk scrunchies or hair bands that are gentle on your hair.

Replace your brushes when they get old and crusty lol!

Remember to dust your ends. You can do this at home when you see single strand knots and remember to go and get a trim when you feel like your hair needs it. Listen to your hair!

Be consistent! The reason you’re not seeing growth could be because you’re not sticking to a routine. When you find products that work keep using them. Never skip a wash day and deep condition weekly!

PERIOD

Ok so I feel like sometimes people shy away from talking about hygiene when we’re on our period but it’s important and nothing to be embarrassed of!

I recommend downloading a period app if you don’t have one. There are so many different kinds that help you keep track of cravings, cramps, skin care and more.

Whether you’re using a pad or tampon they need to be changed regularly. This will keep you smelling fresh and keep your kitty healthy.

Carry feminine wipes with you but make sure they’re as natural as possible. I heard that the brand Honeypot is very good and is also black owned!

Also don’t use scented pads or anything make sure the pads you’re using are also as natural as possible.

When you’re on your period drink lots of water. I’ve noticed when I’m on my period and I’m drinking lots of water it made my period easier to deal with, mine usually lasts about 7 days and is super heavy but it’s started to become shorter and lighter.

I’ve also heard that taking cranberry pills after your period really helps if you’re noticing any odour so I recommend that too.

YOUR KITTY

Ok so when it comes to keeping your kitty clean and healthy I’m gonna start off with saying drink ya water! I know I say this all the time but seriously it helps!

Stop wearing underwear all the time let your coochie breathe. I also recommend sleeping naked it’s good for you.

Wear cotton underwear.

Discharge is absolutely normal. If you notice your discharge has a weird smell or colour then there is probably an issue and you should head to your doctor. Discharge is often clear/milky in colour and is like mucus or egg whites. You can also use your period app to track what discharge is normal. For example when you’re ovulating you’re likely to get discharge and before your period.

If you’re noticing any odour drink more water and change your diet. Start to eat more fruits and grab that cranberry juice. If you don’t like cranberry juice there are pills you can take.

You should not be using any old body wash to clean your coochie. It’s very sensitive and this can throw off your pH balance. If you choose to use soap which you don’t have to then pick a natural one that is specifically for down there. You can also just use warm water it’s a personal choice!

Don’t just use any lotion on your coochie or around that area either. I recommend baby oil.

EXTRAS

Bring your mask and hand sanitizer with you at all times. Please stay safe!

Carry around hand cream, nobody wants dry ashy hands lol.

Always carry lip balm/gloss.

Carry a bottle of water with you whenever you go out.

Carry deodorant and feminine wipes so you can freshen up during the day.

Always clean your phone with antibacterial wipes at the end of the day.

Remember to brush your tongue, floss and use mouthwash. On top of that always carry gum or mints with you.

Wash your makeup brushes! Seriously if you wear makeup daily or often wash them at the end of the week and if you need to then replace them.

When you’re not wearing acrylics make sure your nails are cut and shaped. Also apply cuticle oil to keep them healthy.

LIP SCRUBS. I love them sm they always keep my lips super soft and pink. I love the bubblegum lip scrub from Lush.

OKAY SO THAT'S IT. This may be updated later because there’s so much more. Send me ideas for more posts!

[herhighnessthequeen]

Self Care Kickstart

If you’ve been wanting to build a routine but don’t know how to take care of yourself in a way that will make you feel happy– start here! While it may seem confusing, I’ll guide you into recovering.

Step One: Hygiene Make sure you have the following on your list!

Brushing Teeth (two times per day) MORNING & NIGHT

Mouthwash (one time per day) MORNING OR NIGHT

Flossing (one time per day) MORNING OR NIGHT

Showering (once per day) MORNING OR NIGHT

Washing hair (once every other day / once per washing cycle)^

Shaving (if applicable : once every other day) MORNING OR NIGHT

Skincare (twice per day) MORNING & NIGHT

Great ! It may seem overwhelming but you need these in your daily routine ! This will absolutely help those who are struggling and depressed. It is hard, but get these done and you’re all good

Step Two: Self Care Central Pick any amount of the below options and add your own options to take care of yourself a little bit further.

Read some of a book

Go for a walk

Do a youtube yoga video

Follow a youtube workout

Lotion or Butter entire body

Dance 

Listen to a positive playlist

No technology 30 minutes

Study something you’re interested in for 15 minutes 

Learn a vocabulary word in a new language

Write some poetry

Write anything

Write affirmations

Make a to do list

Plan tomorrow / next week / next month

Spend 30 minutes on one of my goals

Do makeup

Do hair

Pick outfit for next day 

Put a combination of your choice of the above and the hygiene list into a morning and night routine 0w0! That’s it. You just need to try to do a little more of the routine every single day.

[herhighnessthequeen]

starting my glo up/level up journey with:

having a plant-based diet, eating whole, nutritionally rich foods and shopping/ordering from organic grocery stores

doing barre, yoga, toning and dance workouts while wearing cute, girly/feminine workout clothes

having an extra skin care regime (i’m talking about that 10-step korean skin care routine honey)

creating a capsule wardrobe, wearing quality fabrics and shopping at designer stores

wearing gel nail extensions and keeping my nails well manicured

learning how to professionally apply makeup

learning more about the art of seduction and improving my seduction techniques

establishing a hair care routine for my natural hair and purchasing human hair blend wigs (i need to practice hair styles and cuts and i will not be practicing on 100% human hair wigs 🙅🏾‍♀️ lol)

remodeling my bedroom

there’s more than just this but i feel that this will be a good foundation/place to get started. ✨

[herhighnessthequeen]

Have energetic boundaries

You do not owe other people your peace of mind and your energetic influence. Meaning, it is important that you preserve those times and moments when you are feeling positive, inspired, and generally operating at an elevated frequency. In those moments it's not only ok but necessary that you shield yourself from people who may be triggers that bring you down and may only be attracted to you because of the kind of opposite energy you exude.

Energy vampires are a real thing, energy is something that can be exchanged for positive or negative and if you aren't careful with it you may allow those who are miserable - and have no desire in putting the effort to change - to cling onto you their own misery. It's not selfish to set up boundaries with these types of people, it's not selfish to put your own mental and spiritual well-being first, and to let others know that if you decide to get back to them, it will be at your desired time and at a point when you are in a mental space to take in lower-frequency situations.

You also have an obligation to let go of those people who have no desire of improving their lives and who make you feel bad each time you are around them, you cannot help someone that does not want to be helped, but you have an obligation to keep yourself sane and healthy in all facets of your life.

[herhighnessthequeen]

hey guys.....

just wanted to do a quick update, as most of you know I haven't really been active since I've started working. Most of it was mental health issues that were stirred up from starting work again but lately, I've just been dealing with a cluster of health issues and there isn't a sure reason as to why so far. I've been extremely nauseous and really sensitive to anything for months and my anemia is worse for several other reasons. It was really affecting my performance at work so I decided to quit and take time for myself. I have been in and out of doctors' offices but there are no clear answers for my stomach issues and I just feel weak all the time and even dropped 15 pounds in the past couple of weeks. There isn't really a reason why I'm telling you all this and I'm in no way am I looking for pity or any health advice. but I feel like we're besties so I wanted to keep you updated so there you go!!!

Love you all, take care of yourselves and take it easy <33

#updates #I love you #herhighnessthequeen

[herhighnessthequeen]

Question

How would y’all feel about a discord?? We can chat in real time??? Have different channels for certain subjects? Even have live chats? Would this be a thing?

[herhighnessthequeen]

Have you shown respect to your home today? Clean up. Put things away. Wash what is dirty and fix what is damaged. Show appreciation to the things that have made your life easier and kept you comfortable by making sure that they remain in good condition for a long time.

Have you shown respect to your body today? Bathe yourself. Do your hair. Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious meals. Get some fresh air, do some exercise, and don’t partake in anything that is self-harming. Your body has kept you alive and strong for all of these years and carried you through many situations, both happy and sad. Keep it healthy and functioning.

Have you shown respect to your brain today? Think positive things. Watch productive media. Do not entertain malicious thoughts. Make an effort to learn something new and feed your brain cool information on whatever interests you. Try to sleep at a good time tonight. Your brain health is so important to your entire being. Take good care of it.

[herhighnessthequeen]

I’m quitting my job today