i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

hi

i have been very tired and dealing with health things

i also currently have even more things to deal with than before

ill publish that writing eventually, i dont know when, but i will

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

Off Days (13th Doctor x reader)

author’s note:

yes this is a romantic fic, no i can’t write a romantic fic for a character i don’t like, sorry, it would turn out really weirdly, for now i’ll just do romantic stuff randomly and from my own brain. this was an unplanned fic (also anon i’m working on the thing you requested i haven’t forgotten you i promise i hope you’re having a good day) because i had a Bad Day with the disease that i straight up forgot i have and stayed in bed until like 6pm after waking up and walking around a bit because i really just Couldn’t function well at all. yes i’m going to write more romance fics about 13 i’m gay and every attraction to any gender is gay for me since gender isn’t working in my brain. the reason i wrote this is Bad Day and i always see sick!reader ones with like the flu or a cough or something temporary but never anything with something permanent (which i have) which can massively fuck with being able to do things on certain days for absolutely no discernible reason or because of triggers thag you need to look closely after

no trigger warnings

word count: 1 190 or so words, pretty short

here you go:

You woke up lying beside the Doctor. The clock standing on the cabinet on her side of the bed indicated it was somewhere around 10 in the morning - you didn’t look at it long enough to process the last two numbers.

You could feel her soft, slow breath against your head as she slept next to you, as the weighted blanket pressed gently against both of your bodies.

Despite having slept soundly for 10 hours, which was more than you usually got when sleeping, you felt exhausted, heavy, and in a certain amount of discomfort. You shivered, moving closer to the Doctor, trying to obtain some body heat from her despite the fact that you were both already in warm pyjamas.

“Good morning, my love”, the Doctor said, sleep still in her voice, stroking your cheek. “I know you were rather tired last night. Sudden fatigue, eh? You feeling any better?”

You smiled weakly at her. “Good morning”, you whispered back. “Somehow, I’m even more tired.”

“We’ll stay in bed for a while if that’ll help, Y/N.” Upon saying that, she kissed your forehead and brushed her fingers against your arm.

“I’m, uh... I’m not entirely sure it will help. I know it won’t hurt to stay in bed, but I... I might need to stay all day instead of just a few more hours.”

“Alright, we can do that. We don’t have to do things every day, love, and that’s more than okay with me, provided it makes you feel better.” She smiled.

“It’s nothing to worry about”, you said, picking up on the concern in her voice. “I just.. I haven’t told you about something, because I’ve been doing better lately, and I actually just forgot about it happening.” You brought your legs closer to your chest, still lying down on your side, still looking at the Doctor. Not directly into her eyes, since you rarely ever did that, but at her nonetheless.

“Yeah?” She gently prompted you to continue speaking.

“I... have a health condition. It isn’t harmful, really, just inconvenient. Fatigue is one of the symptoms, weakness can be another, there’s some other ones too. Like loss of appetite. And I’m not feeling great right now. I wanted to do stuff today, but I’m really not feeling like I could walk or even stand for more than a few minutes at a time without collapsing.”

“I’m sorry, love. I wish it was easier for you. I love you, and you can talk to me about anything anytime, alright? We’ll stay in bed for today. Would you want your favourite soup later on? The TARDIS and I could cook it up for you, I’ll bring it here, we could have lunch in bed? That way we’ll make sure you have some food, even though your lack of appetite might be happening.”

*I really can hear the smile in your voice*, you thought. And you could. You’d been together for a few months now, she knew your favourite soup, other foods, colours, fabrics, words, sounds, smells, and so much more. You knew hers. There was still a lot you didn’t know about each other, but there was time. Especially with your lack of time perception and her being... well... her. There was time, and for once you found comfort in that. You loved her so much, and you took care of her on her off days, accepting that sometimes she won’t feel ready to speak of certain things until a time later. She took care of you on yours, though sometimes she didn’t know what caused them.

You went on dates as often as the two of you wanted and could, taking into account how both of you felt. It was perfect, and you loved it so much - the soft mornings, waking up together in one bed, wrapped in one blanket (or several blankets stacked on top of the one you shared, for extra warmth), lying closely together, the days spent with her, saving the universe, saving a planet, helping someone, anyone, looking out for each other, the evenings spent together watching a movie, one of you inevitably dozing off closer towards the end of the movies, their head gently lying on the other one’s shoulder, or in the other’s lap.

The softness of her voice occasionally lulling you to sleep. You humming right as she woke up in the middle of the night, if you were still awake, to get her back to sleep, because you knew she didn’t get nearly enough sleep on most nights, though the weighted blanked you’d gotten for the both of you greatly helped. This was someone you could imagine spending the rest of your life with. The fact that your life never really had to end either brought her comfort, because unless something drastic happened, she wouldn’t lose you like she had others. She still refused to talk about many of them, but slowly, she was opening up to you about it. And you knew all would come in its due time. She did, however, also know, that you were susceptible to most human conditions, and that they could affect you strongly at some times.

“I love you, Doctor. I’d really like some soup later. I love you and everything about you, and I’m really tired, but you’re just... you are the world to me, my love”, you rambled. “I can hear you smiling even when I’m not looking at you. I love you and also I’m tired. I think I’ll sleep for a bit more. Is that okay?”

“Of course, love”, she replied, letting you hear her smile again as you closed your eyes and did the same. “One thing before you doze off, though: what’s the name of that health condition you have?”

“It’s [name]. Why?” You barely let your eyes open, wondering why she’d asked.

“I want to see how I can help you better, so I’ll do a bit of research on it. You get some rest, love. Get some rest, and we’ll have some soup soon. I’ll take care of your chores later, too, so don’t worry about it. It’s alright if you only feel better in a few days. I’m staying right here next to you, I always will.”

“You’re as sweet and comforting as honey tea on a chilly autumn night”, you gently took her hand - the one that was still caressing your cheek - into yours, and kissed it. She knew that autumn was your favourite season, too.

“As are you”, she smiled, “rest, my love.”

You fell asleep nearly instantly, as the Doctor scrolled through the mobile phone you’d purchased for her, looking through how your health condition affected you, looking for ways she could better help you not only on your off days, but also to make you generally feel better using the food you’d eat and other things. And of course, when you felt better, she would ask you what you’d prefer and how she can help.

Soon after, she fell asleep too, her arm lying on your waist and her forehead resting closely to yours.

#13th doctor x sick!reader #13th doctor x reader #doctor who x reader fanfiction #doctor who x reader #13th doctor x reader fanfiction #13th doctor x sick reader #i don’t know how to tag this properly #doctor who x chronically ill reader #? #maybe? #idk if that fits #doctor who fic #doctor who fanfic #doctor who x reader fanfic #donctor who x reader fic #I AM FUCKING BEGGING YOU FOR SOME FEEDBACK #MAY I HAVE ONE (1) FEEDBACK #P L E A S E #please i am starving for feedback #what can i make better #what did you like #how did it make you feel? #please just tell me things #you could keysmash into the comments section and i’d be happy

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

hey guys i’m still alive i’m just very tired

you can probably expect a few writing things from me before 2021 begins

also this blog supports blm

i hope you have a nice day

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

TITLE OF POST (because tumblr is a nightmare): A better life (Chapter 16, Avengers x reader)

——

hey, so posting on the tungle dot hell website is now a nightmare because things have been changed in a very very extremely immeasurably stupid way,,, i will not be having a consistent posting schedule anytime soon

so here’s chapter 16, and if you think “this writer has no idea what they’re doing” at any point, that’s accurate, i don’t plot things, my brain just makes me write things spontaneously, and i like plants and started thinking about them while writing and obviously had to write that in

i hope you enjoy this fuckery, and if you like it, please say something or signal it to me in one way or another, i hope you’re all doing okay with life right now, and if you’re stuck with shitty relatives, you’re doing great, time is irrelevant but i hope you have a good,,, day??? time

chapter 16:

A few hours after falling asleep, you woke up. Though you did wake up with a feeling of dread, this time, you didn’t exactly wake up from a nightmare. Maybe it was just from anxiety. When you checked your phone though, there were half a dozen notifications on your phone. Peter had messaged a few times, and he seemed to be getting worried from not getting any response from you. One of the messages was your mother, again. You responded to her first, wanting to get it out of the way immediately. She only wanted to know what was happening, and didn’t care about how you were actually doing, and honestly, you just wanted to be able to stay at the Tower for longer, avoiding her as much as possible.

You pulled the covers tighter over yourself and replied to Peter. He didn’t answer, which made sense: it was dark in the room, and it seemed to be night at that point. He’d probably be asleep already.

After staying motionless in bed for some time, you got up, dragging one of the blankets with you and placing it over your shoulders and head like a cape. You wrapped yourself in it like a bat in its wings. Or like a dramatic vampire with their cape. Still in complete darkness, you walked over through the door and left the room.

The silence was so deep, you could hear your own breathing.

The thought of anyone’s reaction to you walking through the hall in the dead of night, a blanket dramatically draped over you, made you chuckle quietly.

When you got to the kitchen, you put the kettle on to make tea. After getting hot water and putting the sachet in, you went over to the wall-sized windows in the area with the couches.

There was something about this common room that was interesting during the night. You could see the stars through the window, and you were completely alone, drinking tea, looking through the window. There’s a feeling to being in a normally crowded place once it’s empty. This wasn’t eerie - in fact, it was somehow almost calming.

The sight of stars gave you some hope. Your past was.. something, but your future would be okay. You’d be okay. And you’d be with the Avengers, and Tony Stark had already proven that you could trust him with how he reacted when he found out. He was already doing things to try and help you, and everyone else here had been nice to you so far.

*Maybe I do have a chance,* you thought, *at happiness. Maybe I’ll have a family that doesn’t make me feel like shit. Even though we’re not actually related by blood.*

You walked over to a couch that faced the window and lowered yourself into it.

You opened your eyes to see the light of the rising sun shining onto you. You didn’t remember putting your tea mug on the floor, or falling asleep at any point. The room was still quiet, and you thought no one would be there.

When you got up, after grabbing your already nearly cold mug, you noticed Clint was up early for some reason. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air and he say on the kitchen counter, his head in his hands. You approached him. The coffee machine was still going. It was a miracle it still worked, really, with how much he used it daily.

You put your mug on the table, and touched his arm lightly to attract his attention so you’d be able to converse in sign language.

“Hey.. you know that if you have a headache, you probably shouldn’t be drinking that much coffee, right?

“Oh, Y/N, hey! What’re you doing here?” He looked even more exhausted than he did usually.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m tired. You?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll be okay.”

He nodded and you briefly smiled at each other.

“So, why are you out? You been here all night?”

“I’m not sure, actually? I just woke up at some point. Came here. It’s nice at night, you know?”

“Yeah, it is.”

After a long pause, you started to turn away from him to go to your room with your mug, but you noticed him signing before looking away.

“Care to share what’s been bothering you?” After seeing your confused expression, he continued. “I mean, your reaction to me asking about your family when Tony dragged us over to have food. I haven’t forgotten that, you know. Your face does that thing when you get taken by surprise by something. Your reaction to Tony grabbing your arm. To touch in general, really. Wanda and Pietro mentioned you seeming off the other day.”

You stayed silent as a knot formed in your stomach.

“Talk to me. Please.”

“It’s okay.”

He shook his head and got off the counter.

You hesitated, watching him get closer. “My relatives can be intense. That’s it.” You started fidgeting with your fingers.

”Explain.”

You were the one to shake your head this time.

“Are you being hurt?”

There was a slight pause.

“Stop.” Your heart dropped, and the last thing you wanted was to seem rude, especially to Clint, who taught you so much since you got here, who spent so much time with you, but this was just too much.

He stopped pressing, and you grabbed your mug and left the room in a hurry, hiding in yours immediately.

*God, now he knows. I’m so stupid.*

It took you a few minutes to calm yourself down at least a bit, and then you picked a book off the shelf behind the couch in your room. You started reading, though you were having a hard time concentrating on the words on the pages because of the signed conversation you just had with Clint. What would he do now that he knew? Maybe he’d go to Tony and ask him what to do, and he’d tell him to not force it, that he knows, that he’s doing something to change your situation. Or maybe he’d go talk to Wanda and Pietro and tell them. Maybe everyone would find out. Did everyone already have suspicions about it?

*I’m sure as hell not going back out there.. guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens... I really hope he just tells mister Stark and no one else.*

You let out a sigh accompanied by a small “aaaaaa” noise, trying to release some pent up anxiety, and then immediately flung yourself onto the side of the couch in front of the tv in the room, sitting up on the armrest like a gargoyle, remote in hand. You turned the tv on, settling on a gardening channel after a few minutes of clicking and looking around.

“Maybe I should get some plants in my room”, you whispered to yourself.

A few minutes of staring emptily at the screen while thinking convinced you: you need houseplants. Well, for your room. This led to you questioning whether anyone else on the floor has plants in their room. Plants can be really helpful, because when you have a really hard time taking care of yourself, taking care of something that isn’t you can be helpful. It gives you a reason to keep going. Plants are usually easier to care for: when something’s wring, they show it, and it’s relatively easy to determine. And plants make the air better.

*Maybe everyone here should have at least one plant*, you thought.

Somehow, once you came out of your thinking, an hour passed.

You left the room, having completely forgotten the conversation you had with Clint earlier, now fully distracted by the one thing on your mind: getting a plant, or several plants. Probably several. And asking Tony if anyone had a plant. Maybe to suggest every person should have at least one.

You went to the kitchen, trying to find Tony. Thor and a pasty white man whose hair fell to his shoulders were having an intense conversation, standing beside the kitchen table. You walked closer to them, unsure yet determined to get what you wanted. Thor quiets down and puts his hand up in front of him, prompting the other man to go quiet after following Thor’s gaze, which was now upon you.

“Hey, Y/N. How are you?” He smiles.

“Hi, I’m okay, you?”

He replies positively, which lets you ask your question.

“Do you know where Mister Stark is? Also - this might sound weird - but do you have a plant in your room? Like, here. At the Tower. You know.”

He looks puzzled, but goes with it. “I think he’s down at his workshop place? In the basement, perhaps? If not, he might be in the lab, with Bruce Banner. I don’t have a plant, why do you ask?”

“Thank you! Oh, I was just, I, um, I was watching a gardening channel, and then remembered that plants better the air quality, and - you know, plant things, and stuff”, you finish off your sentence, fearing you’d be unable to continue without talking about plants for half an hour, and not wanting to bother him with it.

The dark haired man stared at you in disbelief, probably offended you hadn’t mentioned his presence. “Sorry, I noticed you, I’m just thinking about plants, and if I get distracted right now I’ll get distracted for the rest of the day and completely forget what I’m thinking, and if that happens, I’ll remember it in the dead of night and that would be a disaster for my already freestyle sleep schedule”, you addressed him.

He raised his eyebrows as an amused expression appeared on his face. “Y/N, is it? Loki. Of Asgard.” At this introduction, you mumbled something along the lines of a polite *nice to meet you*. “So, Y/N, tell me, where might you be from? Although, no, go find Stark and talk about... plants? But later, I want to get to know you. You wouldn’t mind that, would you? We’ll have a nice chat.”

Thor looked at him and then you, with a face that could only be described as the reaction of someone being presented with a bad idea.

You did a quick, awkward thumbs up, not knowing exactly how to answer to any of this, and quickly walked over to the lift, pressing the button and leaving the floor as the two men resumed their animated conversation.

You’d decided on checking in for Tony at the lab first, since it was quicker to get to there than to the workshop, which was all the way down and then some.

He wasn’t there, though Bruce Banner was. The two of you met before, but never actually had a conversation: he was in a quiet, reflective mood when you first met, on the first night you stayed in the Tower.

After a short conversation and him focusing really hard on his scientific research, he said something along the lines of “see you later”, and you took that as your time to leave, still in search of Tony.

You went down to his workshop, finally getting there after a few stops on random floors where people got onto the lift. You were super uncomfortable, not sure how to react to strangers, so you just didn’t react, keeping your gaze to the floor and staying in the corner.

There he was, staring intently at a piece of a new suit, looking to be deep in thought.

You softly knocked at the door to the actual workshop, hoping it would get his attention. When it didn’t, you pushed the door ever so slightly, trying to communicate without intruding too much. That’s when he noticed you, and he seemed as if he had just come out of a sort of trance.

“Oh hey, Y/N, listen, I’m having a problem with this suit, been standing here practically frozen for an hour pr two, not sure, time barely happens here, you mind helping me with the execution an idea?”

You agreed to help and he immediately started describing the problem to you. Though you still couldn’t take your mind off of plants, you tried to help out, and at some point while you were speaking about a way to make his idea possible, he whispered “ah-ha! precisely, thank you!!”

A few minutes later - a few minutes that passed by as you stood awkwardly and Tony asked his robots to hand him instruments and other objects - he was done with one part of the idea. He suddenly turned to you.

“So what’s up? What’s got you going all the way down here?”

“Yeah, okay, so, um, this might sound weird or stupid, but-“, you started.

“Nope. Impossible. Because I’ll most probably be curious. Weird is the best. Go ahead, with what you were gonna say, but please don’t say that something you’re thinking is stupid, right? It’s all good.”

“Okay... right, um, so, I was thinking - I was watching a gardening show, and it got me thinking - plants!”

He nodded.

“Um, I, sorry, I’m kind of, uh, I don’t know”. You take a slight pause. “Words aren’t working right because I just really like plants and sometimes it gets difficult to express what I want to say and the words just don’t go to my brain, and right now it’s because I’m... I’m not sure what emotion this is but it’s like, the opposite of frustrated, though I am frustrated with myself for my inability to communicate, and I’m sorry because now I’m rambling and I’m gonna stop for a minute or two and gather my brain.”

You take a deep breath, later noticing Tony is smiling.

“That is such a mood. Take your time. Happens to everyone. I think. Maybe. I don’t know, actually. Right, plants. What about plants? Oh! Do you want plants? In your room?”

Your face lit up. “Yeah! That. Like, the benefits plants can bring to the air quality and health in general, be it physical or mental, they’re pretty cool, and I, um, I was thinking, maybe everyone should have at least one plant in their room? I don’t know. Like, plants!! You know?”

“Hell yeah!!! We could definitely do that, might help some people, right! Do you have any suggestions? Like, plant suggestions?”

The part of you that’s practically completely obsessed with plants starts rapid-fire listing off names of plants with enthusiasm, prompting Tony to react in a “whoa whoa wait” way, which is perfectly understandable. Sometimes you can’t even keep up with how quickly your brain might be going. Other times, your thinking is painfully slow and everything is boring. It occurs to you that brains are incredibly weird.

You continue listing plants, speaking slower this time, but still with a whole lot of enthusiasm. He seems to take all you say into his brain, trying to remember it.

“Do you want to go right now?” he asks suddenly.

“Sorry?”

“Do you want to go right now? Plant haul. Let’s get these plants. In the similar fashion of saying “let’s get this bread”, you know. So do you want to go right now? To the plant stores.”

“I’d love to!!!”

“Fantastic!!! Let’s go!!!” He walks over to the door, exits, and holds it open for you, and then the two of you reach the lift.

“Nat’s a cactus with a pink flower on top”, he casually states, with a hint of humour in his voice, as the doors of the lift close. You smile.

#avengers x reader #avengers x abused reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x abused reader fanfic #avengers x abused reader fanfiction #avengers fics #avengers fanfics #avengers fanfiction

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 15, Avengers x reader)

ay hi here’s chapter 15, will post 16 on the 2nd of February, i’ve got a lot of projects for school that i need to get done by the end of the month

at this point i have even less idea of what i’m doing than i did when i started this series, but like, technically, this is my fic and i get to do what i want, but i just don’t want to disappoint any of you, and i’m trying to bring it to a close soon, and i haven’t forgotten about the anon who asked me to write a thing and i will be starting that soon, sorry for the wait, i have reasons that i won’t go into detail unless anyone asks

i hope you enjoy this, cause i really like Tony Stark and also Peter Parker so like, obviously there’s gonna be a lot of them everywhere,, please like and reblog and comment and stuff like that, feel free to tell me what you liked or didn’t really like, i wanna know what you guys enjoy reading

tw for this: panic attack (from being touched on the shoulder)

_______

Chapter 15:

When you woke up from yet another nightmare, which you remembered better than the others, you just couldn’t go back to sleep. It was impossible. You’d been trying for half an hour, your frustration with yourself increasing from not being able to just get over it and move on with your life. It was about 5am at that point, and the sun would be rising pretty soon.

*I’m.. gonna go for a walk*, you decided. Maybe it would help. Hopefully. Maybe instead of walking in circles in your head, you could do that, but around the building. Just a few times, to clear your head. Inhale the air of the early morning, while barely anyone else was outside.

You got dressed and quietly headed through the hallway and the common room, finding yourself in front of the lift seconds later.

On your way out, you heard some snoring. You went to check where it came from, and it turned out Tony was still on the couch. He must’ve been really exhausted. Now, there was a plate of food and an empty mug standing on the table in front of him, so at least he’d woken up and had some food before going back to sleep.

You left the building. On your way back, after turning in circles around it a few times, you settled down on a comfortable bench. You inhaled deeply as the sun rose on the horizon. Half an hour later, watching the sky change colours as the giant star slowly continued its path in it, you decided to go back inside. You did have work later today, and you were receiving your paycheque, so you thought it might be good for you to try and get another hour of sleep before the day actually began.

When you got back, Tony was up, walking around in the common room. You greeted each other, and though he was confused as to why you had been outside at such an early time and really wanted the details, you asked if you could explain later. Thankfully, he accepted to wait.

You managed to get a bit of extra sleep before having to go off to work. While on lunch break, you did the same thing as you did the day before: you took some of your other belongings, and kept them in the luggage at work only to bring them back to the room you had in the Stark Tower when you got off work. During your shift, things went pretty well, but there was a few more difficult customers than usually, and by the time it was over, you couldn’t wait to get back to your room, lie back in your bed, and relax. 

Though you were tired, you really wanted to hang out with Peter again for a while, maybe play some video games again since you both enjoyed it so much. So you texted him, and found out he was free the rest of the day. He was going to come by anyway, and you decided to meet in the computer room where you had met.

Maybe twenty-five minutes later, the two of you were already sitting together in the couch, playing a game you had suggested. He seemed to be really enjoying himself. He was also talking a lot about MJ again, which warmed your heart. You were reminded of how happy she made him, so you asked questions about them, to which he happily responded. After a while, he excused himself to the bathroom.

Minutes were beginning to feel like hours, maybe even days, but somehow, you managed to fall asleep in the small window of time Peter was away.

You woke up hours later, and he sat next to you. There was a blanket on you, undoubtedly placed there by Peter, which you were thankful for: the room did get a bit chilly at times because of the air conditioning in summer.

You yawned, covering your face with your hand, and briefly stretched.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hey. Thank you”, you gestured vaguely at the blanket.

He nodded. 

“Rough day?”

“Eh, I suppose. Got screamed at by some customers. It was wild.”

“Oh?” He looked a bit worried, but there was also a “wtf” look on his face. 

“One was mad that her sandwich had a tomato slice. Normally this would be okay, and we would remove the slice, or we could make a new sandwich so the tomato wouldn’t touch it, but she immediately went off at me for it, even though the sandwich was pre-made. Not to mention, it visibly had a tomato in it. She demanded to speak to my manager, and when I brought him over, they talked and she stormed out of the shop. Another customer caused a scene because he “wanted one large fry, not a ton of fucking small ones.” And another one was mad because he spilled his own coffee this morning. He began screaming about it. He spilled it outside. The biggest problem? He bought it at a shop that was literally half an hour away from hours. He demanded a refund and a new drink because he’s a busy man and doesn’t want to spend more money than necessary.”

“Damn”, he muttered in disbelief.

“Yup. I tell you, I was this close to crying because of this shit. Like, this makes no sense, you know? A single big fry instead of a ton of little ones? Does he think we sell a fry the size of a dozen potatoes?”

“That really sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Honestly, though, I would eat that.” He chuckled.

You nodded in agreement, and shortly went back to playing video games for a bit longer, since he soon had to go back home.

When he left, you decided to go back to your room. You sent a message to your mother, telling her everything was fine and all that, just to get her off your back in case she was thinking of calling you.

As you stepped out of the lift, you spotted Wanda and Pietro playfully pushing each other around in a couch, and Tony and Clint drinking coffee and having a conversation at the table. Natasha was nowhere to be seen, but James Rhodes and Sam Wilson were chilling near Tony. You quietly walked over to the hallway before someone’s hand landed on your shoulder, gripping it. You grabbed the hand, feeling like you were suddenly full of dread, and threw it off, turned around, instinctively and quickly backing away. Your heart was racing, your breathing going faster than it was supposed to, and the things around you became slightly blurry, to the point of having to lean on the wall to not lose balance and fall down.

All you saw in front of you was a blurred figure of a person, and long hair the colour of fire. *Wanda.* 

“Hey, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay? It’s just me. I won’t hurt you. It’s okay.”

In your confused and scared state, you were frantically looking for an escape route that didn’t involve being in front of people; you were trying to find your room. You were really trying to calm down though, but knowing that Wanda felt something was off the day before when you had a bad flashback, you wanted to leave immediately: you didn’t want her to know what was going on. She’d probably been through worse. It was fine. *She doesn’t need to know, Y/N.*

“Y/N, it’s okay. I get it if you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that’s making you feel bad. I’m really not sure what to do in this situation.. Do you want me to get Stark?” She seemed pretty uneasy and stressed out. 

You nodded and weakly mumbled a thanks to Wanda. She left in a hurry, and you sat down on the floor, hugging your knees, trying not to hyperventilate more than you already were. You closed your eyes, trying to remind yourself that you weren’t anywhere near your mother, that no one here would hurt you, that you were safe. It wasn’t working. You could still feel the hand gripping your shoulder, and you kept trying to scratch the touch off, not even noticing the stinging pain in your shoulder from scratching it so much though you were wearing a hoodie.

You heard a deep muffled voice say something from the common room, and footsteps were coming closer, going faster and faster, practically running.

Seconds later, Tony was sitting in front of you, talking to you, trying to get you to breathe, reminding you of the time you should be taking to inhale and exhale. He kept talking to you for a few more minutes, telling you that you were going to be okay, that you’re safe here. He sat with you until you could breathe properly and form coherent sentences again.

“Kid, I’ve got you, alright? What happened?” 

You were still having trouble making eye contact, but you could tell just by the tone of his voice that he was worried.

“Uh.. Wanda, she, um.. grabbed my shoulder. And um, I.. I panicked? Yeah.”

“Alright. It’s okay, I’ll ask her and anyone else not to grab you or touch you without warning, alright? Would that be good?”

“Yeah.. thank you, mister Stark. I’m sorry, I, uh, I.. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. It’s okay. It happens to me too. It’s understandable that it happens to you, after what you told me. It’s okay, you’re safe here. You’ll never have to return there, soon.”

You nodded and closed your eyes, taking some more time to focus on your breathing, trying to match it to his as an example of normal, not-having-a-panic-attack breathing. Having him there, right beside you, was really comforting.

After a few minutes, everything was back to normal again, though you were more exhausted than before.

“You’re safe”, Tony said, with a soft expression on his face. “It’s alright.” He stayed quiet for a minute. “I’m guessing you’ll be wanting to go to your room?” He smiled softly.

You mumbled a soft “yeah”, and he walked with you until you reached your room. He left when you thanked him with a small smile and closed the door behind you.

*I definitely need a nap.*

You lied in bed for less than half an hour before falling asleep.

#avengers fic #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fics #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fic #avengers x abused!reader

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

hiya, so for today, i’ve got a short fic, about 2000 words. i haven’t mentioned i’m a fan of Doctor Who, but like,,, i fucking love that show, and therefore i have decided to write a little fic where the Doctor comforts reader after a rough day with their relatives on New Year’s Eve,, also in this fic i used he/him pronouns for the Doctor because i’m super queer and i have a massive crush on 13, and i’m thinking of maybe doing something else for a fic with her, idk what i’m doing yet

i hope you enjoy this! also i want all of you to know that my precious cat is sleeping with her face on my head and she is purring so loudly i can barely hear myself think and i love her

i hope you have an okay day today, make sure to take care of you

tw: mentions of physical abuse, some swearing, verbal/emotional abuse?

_________________________

It was New Year’s Eve, and you yet again had no choice but to hang out with your relatives. It usually sucked for the most part. You had no choice but to sit at the table with all of them while they chatted and watched television together, screaming and laughing extremely loudly. You’d have to deal with their views, that were pretty much the opposite of yours.

It was definitely going to go badly, that you knew. You just weren’t sure for how long after it you’d be physically unable to leave your room out of exhaustion from being around your relatives.

The entire morning, everyone was running around, trying to get everything ready. You thought about leaving your room and helping, but immediately rejected the idea, knowing that it would cause you more harm in the long run: being insulted and picked apart for not doing things “the right way” would be a bad way to start the morning.

*I’ll just stay in my room probably. At least for the next couple hours*, you thought, already tired.

You checked a few news headlines and went over to social media, talking to your friends through texts. It lifted your mood a bit.

A few hours later, there was a knock at your bedroom door, and you quickly hid your phone as whoever knocked barged into the room without warning. Pulling your covers over you a bit more, you pretended like this sudden intrusion awoke you, and you sleepily gazed at the person in your doorway.

“Get up, I need your help. It’s noon. Why are you so lazy? Nevermind, just get up already.”

You complied, slowly sitting up. The person left your room in a hurry, shutting the door on their way out.

After getting dressed and going through your morning routine as quickly as possible, you went off to help our relatives with setting up for the night. It was quite hellish: they were yelling and screaming, and insults were being thrown around the room even more aggressively than on normal days. It was really wearing you out and you were already beginning to feel like shit, so every so often, you would go hide in the bathroom to get away from all the madness.

Some hours later, everything was set up, and you went back to your room to calm yourself down. You pulled your phone out of it’s hiding spot and looked through your social media, hoping for some messages from friends. You messaged with a few people, and then decided to send a message to the Doctor, hoping he’d receive it, wherever he was. He’d dropped you off with your relatives for the holidays, and you hadn’t seen him in little over a week now. You really wished you had told him about how your relatives treated you, but you were too afraid to scare him. You were too afraid that he would get angry. What if he got mad at you for not telling him earlier? What if he got mad at them, for how they were acting? And if he did, what would he do about it?

Since you found each other, you’d seen so many worlds, beautiful or horrifying, you’d gone on countless adventures, finding monsters and creatures and people in need of help. He brought you to places with fantastic views, and you sometimes got to relax from all the action that was going on during most of your trips. You loved the action, but sometimes, a nice view, whether it was a sunset on another planet or a supernova seen from the TARDIS, was quite refreshing. The Doctor would stay next to you, speaking of his home planet, Gallifrey, or of the places he’s visited, or of things he’d done in worlds with his previous companions. You enjoyed every second of it. You got to see places that barely any other human had.

After a while, he responded. He was off doing something on his own, and you really didn’t like that. He always got in trouble, and you liked being there to help him out. You liked being there for him, in hopes it would make him feel less lonely. He certainly felt like family to you, real family.

He said he’d be there for you at the end of the day if you needed him, but as soon as you wanted to reply to him, there was a loud bang. Out of sudden panic, you hid your phone again, turning it off before doing so, and sure enough, the same relative barged into the room.

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you hiding something from me?”

“No, I’m just relaxing.”

“Shut up and don’t fucking talk back to me. We’re having dinner in a bit, start getting ready.”

They left your room once again. In half an hour, you chose some clothes that you liked and matched well. You put them on and looked in the mirror for a second, making sure your shoulders were relaxed and your jaw wasn’t too clenched.

You left your room, leaving your phone again. You really didn’t need your relatives to know of the Doctor, because if they found out, they’d probably take your phone and prevent you from ever going outside without at least one of them present.

During the dinner, it felt like all your energy was being sucked out by your relatives. Insults were being thrown at everyone, and you just sat there, barely touching your plate after ten minutes of being there. The name calling wasn’t stopping, and your relatives were already acting pretty drunk: yelling, laughing uncontrollably at things that weren’t actually funny, slurring their words in an unusual manner. You were starting to get tired, and excused yourself to the bathroom to relax for a minute or two.

When you got back, they were all watching television, criticizing everyone on the show. You cautiously asked your parent if you could leave and go to your room, and thankfully, they accepted. You excused yourself.

When you got to your phone again, you sent a message to the Doctor, asking if he could park the TARDIS in your room, just for a bit. He accepted, and you hastily asked him to turn off the brakes of his time machine. Moments later, the blue box stood in front of you, and slowly, the doors opened. A familiar face looked out, and you felt so relieved, finally seeing him after all this time.

You jumped off your bed and hugged him tight, him hugging you back even tighter, and in that moment, you felt at home.

“Hi! I missed you, Doctor!”, you said softly, smiling at him. He returned the smile.

“I’d like to show you something. Shall we?”

You nodded, and the two of you walked in, closing the doors behind you. You greeted the TARDIS.

“So, Y/N, how was your day?” He had a cheerful grin on his face, and as much as you hated to bring the mood down, you really couldn’t pretend right now: you just didn’t have this kind of energy.  He pushed a ton of buttons and pulled a lever.

“It, um, honestly.. it kind of sucked. Thank you for coming.”

“What’s wrong?” A concerned expression now rested on his face.

You bit your lip and crossed your arms in a protective stance. “I don’t.. I don’t have the best relationship with my relatives. They can be... intense, sometimes.”

A small moment of hesitation from him.

“What exactly do you mean by “intense”?” He slowly came closer to you.

You looked at the ground and shook your head.

“Y/N, you can tell me. It’s alright.” His voice softened, though his face was still showing worry, and you started feeling guilty about it. Maybe you’re doing the wrong thing, telling him about it. Maybe you should just stay quiet. He’s already got enough to worry about, he doesn’t need to worry about you and your relatives on top of all he was dealing with. 

“I just... it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Clearly not. You said your day sucked. I’m here for you. You know, I always talk about me. Tell me. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” His voice was almost down to a whisper, and he gently put his hand on your arm.

“I don’t know.. I, uh, I don’t know if should... if I should tell you. I don’t want to worry you. I don’t want to worry you more.”

“Y/N, what is it? Please. Let me help.”

When you looked at his eyes, he was making those big round eyes of his, as he usually did when he was sad but wouldn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to make you sad. It’s okay, really.” You smiled weakly.

“What do you mean by “intense”? Do they..” A sudden expression of sad realization came across his face. “Do they hurt you?”

Your stomach dropped and you for a while, you didn’t respond. Eventually, you mumbled “It’s okay” again, and he pulled you into a hug. 

“I’ve got you. You can talk to me, you know? You’re my friend. I’ll always be here. If you don’t want to, you’ll never have to go back. Maybe I could.. adopt you? What about that?” He smiled.

“I’d... I think I’d like that.”

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed by as you were still hugging.

“Sometimes.. sometimes they call me names. Like.. like stupid, and stuff like that..”

“They’re arseholes. You’re really smart. And I think you’re pretty fantastic. Why else would I take you with me?”

You smiled. “Thank you, Doctor.” You didn’t really believe him, because it was hard believing nice things about yourself, no matter who they came from, but you knew he wouldn’t lie about this.

“Can I ask you a question?”

You nodded.

“Do they.. do they hit you?” His features softened again, and you could feel your heart skip a beat from the anxiety of telling him about things.

You nodded again, but much weaker.

“I’m sorry. All of that is horrible. None of this is okay. I’ve got you. I’ll always be here. I want you to know that you didn’t deserve any of what they’ve done to you, alright? I want you to know that. Please don’t ever doubt that, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” Your voice sounded more like a squeak at this point, from how quiet it was.

“We’ll figure this out”, he whispered. When the hug ended, he took your hand and led you to the doors of the TARDIS.

“Hey, I wanted to show you something, remember? I thought it might cheer you up a bit.”

When he opened the doors, you could see countless stars, maybe even galaxies. It was beautiful. All types of galaxies were there: spiral, peculiar, irregular, and more. There were so many colours and lights. You’ve always been fascinated by space and stars, which was one of the reasons you’d gone with the Doctor after you met him. His knowledge and appreciation for space always impressed you.

The two of you sat down at the edge of the doors, though you hesitated.

“There’s a shield around the TARDIS, so we can’t fall out.”

You smiled. “This is beautiful. Thank you.”

“Earth”, he pointed somewhere far away, yet very precise, “is there. See, that galaxy over there? Yeah, that one. Earth is right down there.”

“It’s so small.”

“But it is quite important.” He smiled at you and squeezed your hand gently.

“Yeah.” You put your head on his shoulder. He often let you do that. He even told you it’s comforting for him. “You’re wonderful, you know that?”

“Oh, thank you..” You could tell you caught him a bit off guard. He began pointing out other galaxies, telling you their names, and sometimes told you about some of the planets in the galaxies, of their stars, of those who live there.

You had no idea how long you stayed there, listening to him speak of planets you hadn’t visited yet, of things he’d seen while travelling. After a while, you’d forgotten everything about your relatives. You knew you’d be okay with him. You’d figure it all out and he’d be there, and you would feel at home.

#doctor who fanfic #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who fic #ninth doctor x reader #tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #doctor x reader #the doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #the doctor x abused reader #doctor x abused reader

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 14, Avengers x reader)

hey, so this is like, a shorter chapter than usual, but i’ve been exhausted lately, and it’s december exams time so i’m mcstressed, so like,,, Here,,,, not to mention, holiday season isn’t fantastic for me so my mental health lowkey sucks right now

i’m gonna post 15 on the, like,,,, 12th of January,, literally just started writing the chapter,, also, i might post a short fic one of these days of some character comforting reader after being forced to hang out with their asshole relatives for the holidays, and that short fic is probably going to be posted the morning of the 31st of december, so you can look forward to that

to anon who asked me to write another long avengers fic, i haven’t forgotten about you and the story, i just need to finish the current multi-chaptered one to be mentally able to  start another one right now, so please don’t think i forgot about you, i like the story idea and i’m gonna write it!

also, since it’s holiday season, and it can suck, maybe take some extra time to take care of yourself, get some rest when you can, don’t be too hard on yourself, the holidays can be hard to deal with

tw for the chapter: panic attack, flashback (mentioned, but nothing explicit, just like “oh yeah i remembered that one thing that happened” and it doesn’t go further)

______________

A noise abruptly brought you out of your thoughts, and you took your phone to see what it was. Apparently, it was the alarm you’d set earlier. You got up, slowly, hid your phone into your backpack and left the room, once again silently roaming the small hall that led to the common room and kitchen. It wasn’t completely silent, and you could hear whispers, quiet conversations, and sometimes an almost loud laugh from there, but you figured that was good enough, so you went into the room.

Wanda and Pietro were there, at the kitchen table, and Tony was still on the couch. His coffee was probably cold by now.

“Hey, Y/N! Finally joining us?” Pietro chuckled. Wanda kicked him under the table. “Hey! What was that for?”

“A lot of people can be overwhelming, I get it. Don’t worry about him”, she nodded at Pietro.

You smiled awkwardly and got food from the fridge. You got it ready, and went over to the couch opposite of Tony, sitting down into it and enjoying your food.

Even as you ate, you couldn’t stop feeling guilty, and your hands were shaking a bit from fear. You put the plate down onto the table in front of you. Your breathing wasn’t right either, but it wasn’t too bad yet.

*Inhale 4 seconds, hold 3, and exhale for 7. It’s fine. We’re fine. Nothing’s happening. We’re at the Stark Tower, and she can’t do anything when we’re here. It’s fine. It’s cool*, you tried to reassure yourself.

It worked for a few minutes, but right as you were about to pick up your plate from the table again, you unexpectedly got a particularly bad memory of something that happened a while back, and you were so taken aback by this flashback that you felt sick, and a knot formed in your throat.

In the corner of your eye, you saw Wanda flinch, seemingly for no reason. She said something to Pietro, he spoke to her, and then Wanda turned to you. You barely noticed any of what was happening, but you clenched your jaw and averted your gaze.

She got up and started walking towards you, and you stuffed your shaking hands into the pockets of your hoodie. It would be rude to just walk away, and you hadn’t even finished your food yet, so you just decided to stay put, using the breathing technique you usually had for panic attacks and unwelcome memories. It wasn’t really helping, but at least you could concentrate on the number of seconds you needed for each thing, which made you think less about the memory. You really didn’t want to cry in front of Wanda, much less Pietro: you were scared he would think you were weak or something like that.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s happening?” Wanda asked carefully.

You jumped slightly, surprised by her presence and generally nervous. You shook your head, your throat suddenly too dry to speak.

She sat down next to you, and as you could feel the dent in the couch from where she was sitting down, you could also feel some sort of empty but heavy feeling form in your stomach. Your vision was getting a bit blurry, so you leaned backwards into the couch, closing your eyes for a few minutes.

Muffled speaking was going on somewhere around you, but you could barely associate any of what was said with a specific person’s voice. You couldn’t even tell if it was a coherent sentence being said, or a string of unrelated words, but when you opened your eyes, Wanda was still beside you, and Pietro was standing at the other end of the couch, behind Wanda. He gave her a concerned look, to which she responded with a light shrug, turning back to look at you.

“I’m, I, um, I’m going back to, um, to my room...” You grabbed your food, hurriedly getting up, and ran away as quietly as possible back to your room, immediately locking the door behind you without even having to think about doing it.

You placed the plate onto a table, and, after asking the AI in the room to turn off the lights, you practically jumped into bed, hiding yourself completely under the covers within seconds.

You couldn’t breathe under the covers, but you couldn’t breathe without them either, so deciding to go for comfort and warmth, you just stayed in the complete darkness, alone, until you were starting to calm down. The weight of the blankets on your skin helped a lot, grounding you, in a way.

You couldn’t remember what time or even day it was when you were finally feeling relatively okay, so you remained motionless in the bed for a while. Time just stopped existing, and your breathing was back to normal. The lights were still off, and when you took a look under the door, you saw that the lights in the hallway outside the room were dim, almost not there.

You got up to check the time. It was 3:52am. You didn’t remember passing out, but it did feel as if you had lost some time. It felt weird. Like the world was just a bit.. off. Just a bit. But then, after having lied back down, hiding into the covers once again, and asking the AI to turn on something that would help you sleep, you didn’t really care anymore. You felt absolutely exhausted. You were even too tired to finish the food on your table, barely even registering that it was there.

For about an hour - maybe more, maybe less, you weren’t too sure - your mind wouldn’t stop wandering, overthinking everything that had happened earlier. You pulled the covers tighter around you. After a while, you fell asleep. You woke up several times, whether it was from the nightmares that you barely remembered save for the sense of dread that filled you, or from anxiety.

#avengers fic #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers fics #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fic #avengers x abused!reader

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 13, Avengers x reader)

ayyyyy!!! here’s this chapter, i’m gonna post chapter 14 on the 15th of december, will try my best to get back on track and post every other week though

i hope you enjoy this one! likes, comments, reblogs are greatly appreciated! also, as usual, if you want me to write anything into the tw that isn’t already there, feel free to ask me to do it!

tw: does self doubt count? as in like, doubting that what’s happening is actually Bad? because there’s that closer to the end,,, also, there’s a food thing but it’s only like a “i’m afraid of taking fridge food since it might be someone else’s” kinda thing, and also the word “dumbass” (said by the reader but affectionately? does that make sense?)

Your alarm went off. You slowly opened your eyes, peeking out cautiously from under your covers. You weren’t entirely sure where you were at first, thinking that maybe what happened yesterday was all just a dream, and you were once again in the same apartment as your mother, but you quickly gained awareness of your surroundings. You were still in the Stark Tower.

“Shit”, you whispered, practically jumping out of bed. In just a few seconds, you managed to forget that you had to go to your job. You got ready and headed out, not seeing any of the Avengers on your way out. It was pretty early, and most of them would probably be trying to sleep in, so you figured everything should be fine.

A few hours later, during your lunch break, you decided to quickly go get some of your things from your apartment. You had your set of keys, and since it was still a weekday, you knew that your mother would be at her job, and no one else would be at the apartment. You had to run for a few minutes to make sure you’d have enough time for everything and for getting back to your job.

You unlocked the door, and slid through the hallway. You immediately dashed to your room, your heart beating so hard you could hear it. You found a small luggage in your closet, and decided to use it. You put as many things as you could fit in there: clothes, books, etc., took a few necessities, like your toothbrush and any hygiene products that you needed, zipped the case up, and left the apartment in a hurry, locking the door on your way out. *I’ll come back tomorrow just in case I forgot anything*, you thought.

Luckily, your boss let you place your small luggage into an employees only room, and you finished up the work day in a few more hours. You clocked out, took your luggage, and immediately left for Stark Tower. It looked just as majestic as it did the first time you saw it, but now it was less imposing. It felt a bit more like home. It felt safe.

As soon as you got back to your room, you began unpacking and placing objects into their new space. It looked pretty clean to you, but it was probably cluttered enough for some people to just have no idea how you know where your things are. You didn’t really care if others didn’t understand your organization method. It made sense to you, you vaguely knew where things were supposed to be, and that was enough.

After having changed into comfier clothes to wear in a “home” environment, you checked the clock in the room. It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. You took a deep breath, and suddenly yawned. You grunted, and headed over to the kitchen, sliding quietly in your socks.

The room was completely empty. You relaxed a bit, put the water on to boil, and quickly went to your room and back, now holding a bowl of dollar store noodle soup.

Suddenly, you heard the noise the lift made when opening. You quickly turned around to face the noise. Tony was standing there, and for a few seconds he just stared at you in confusion. You started kind of panicking internally as he stared at you, even though it lasted mere seconds.

He walked up to you and nodded at the dollar store bowl in your hands.

“Hey, why you eating that? Kid, you know there’s food, right? You can have the food. There’s plenty here”, he nodded towards the fridge and freezers standing close to another counter. For a moment, it looked like he froze, and he then looked at you. “Are you, like, allowed to come and go to the kitchen when your mother’s around?”

You shrugged awkwardly. “She’s kind of scary, I uh, I tend to avoid her. I kind of usually go to the kitchen at night. And she could randomly decide that she wanted something despite telling me she didn’t want it, so I’ve just been trying not to inconvenience her, you know.” You looked down to the floor. “Ramen’s better than nothing, so..”

“You can take any food you want at any time, Y/N, alright? Like, unless someone’s name is actually on it, it’s free to eat. You can have anything you like.”

“Thank you, Mister Stark”, you smiled awkwardly, flicking your gaze to him for half a second. You noticed you were fidgeting, so you shoved your hands into your pockets.

“Want a hug?”

You looked at him, and he opened his arms. You nodded and he gently enveloped you in his arms. 

“Thank you”, you said. You tried to hug him back, feeling a bit unsure: you didn’t really know how hugs worked, and accidentally being awkward would be, well, awkward. Tony was going to be your legal guardian, or at least one of them, pretty soon, and you were scared of doing something that would make him not want to have you around anymore, even though you technically knew this wouldn’t happen.

You stayed like that for maybe half a dozen seconds when you both let go, and he went over to the coffee maker, immediately getting everything he needed for it. The dollar store ramen was already open, so you just made it and decided to get some actual food later on, after you finished what you already had.

Tony sat down into a couch, his coffee mug in front of him on a small table, and he then just half lied down, letting out a small groan. He grabbed a remote from the table and turned on the tv, putting it on a low volume. He looked pretty tired.

When you finished eating the ramen, you were still hungry, so you went over and got something from the fridge, making sure a dozen times that it didn’t belong to anyone. You heated it up and ate it slower than usual, trying to enjoy the taste of it. 

Closer to when you were done, you started hearing some sort of noise. Desperately trying to find the source of the repetitive noise, you looked around and quickly found it: Tony was just chilling in front of the tv, snoring. He must’ve been really tired. You cleaned up your plate, grabbed a blanket, and placed it onto him so he wouldn’t freeze, and then you moved the coffee mug further away from the edge of the table: it wouldn’t be pleasant for him if he suddenly woke up and accidentally pushed the mug off the table, or if he broke something and got hurt because of it.

You left the common room and decided to stay in your room for a while. You took your laptop and headphones out of your bag, putting your music on shuffle and sitting down at the work table in the room and simultaneously adjusting the height of the chair. After skipping 9 songs until you found the one you wanted, you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, lying back into the chair.

A bit later, you checked the time. You blinked repeatedly, unsure that what you were seeing was real; it was 7pm. You’d been listening to music for over two hours, but it felt like maybe half an hour had passed.

You got up and dragged yourself over to the bed, lying face down and wrapping yourself into blankets for maximum comfort and warmth, and you curled up into a ball, all while still wearing your headphones. You didn’t even remember closing your eyes, but you just passed out. 

A bit over two hours later, there was a gentle knock on the door, but it still managed to wake you up in a brief panic.

Natasha’s voice started quietly, but then grew just a bit louder.

“Hey, Y/N, just wanted to say that it’s like, dinner time, so feel free to come out and hang around with us all in the common room. Yeah.”

You kept quiet, weighing out the pros and cons of joining a large gathering and decided against it.

*I Do Not have energy for this right now*, you thought, despite still feeling thankful that Natasha thought of you.

You buried yourself deeper into the blankets and stayed there, almost unmoving, and just breathing slowly for what felt like forever, until it became too hot and you took the blankets off yourself. You were still in your day clothes since you didn’t plan on actually falling asleep. You stretched, groaning quietly, still lying down, and caught yourself just as you were about to roll of the bed and fall onto the floor.

*Fuck, I want tea. But there’s a gathering going on. Dammit. Eh, I’ll just, maybe, wait like, an hour? Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. An hour. I’ll get tea at like, 10. Should be less people there then. This is fine. Might as well do something while waiting.*

 You sat in front of your laptop, opened it, and started scrolling through Youtube, looking for fun things to watch while doing nothing. Staring periodically at the clock, you got increasingly annoyed: time seemed to move really slowly for some reason, and though you could swear you just watched two 15 minute long videos, the clock showed that not even 10 minutes passed since 9pm. You were starting to get hungry despite having eaten a few hours ago, and you felt your stomach growl already.

Grabbing a book, you sat down onto the carpeted floor in front of the couch, your back propped against it. You just needed to distract yourself until you could stand leaving the room and hopefully not have to talk to a bunch of people.

Reading was practically impossible: you couldn’t actually concentrate at the moment, and it really didn’t help that you either over concentrated on things or your attention span was so short that you couldn’t keep yourself occupied for longer than a minute, and even then, you had no idea what happened within that minute.

You just decided to put an alarm for 10pm in case you got distracted.

Suddenly, a notification popped up on your phone, and then another. The first one was Peter, and you immediately clicked it to read his message.

- Ayy, what’s up? (P.P.)

- hey, not much, chilling at the Stark Tower

they’re having some sort of evening gathering and i’m just honestly too dead and overwhelmed to join them

you? (Y/N)

- that’s nice! i’m glad you’re staying there lately!!

oOf, big mood, gatherings are like, Exhausting and just Too Much sometimes

just got back from swinging around the city, i am tired as h * c k (P.P.)

- dude why did you censor heck (Y/N)

- how dare, this is a swear free minecraft server, you can’t say Bad Words here that’s Illegal (P.P.)

- asfjfjak go to sleep (Y/N)

- *uno reverse card picture* (P.P.)

- noo i’m waiting so people leave so i can get food 

seriously tho go to sleep if you’re exhausted, i just had an accidental two hours long nap so i’ll be alright for a bit (Y/N)

- ight fine i’ll go to sleep, good night Y/N (P.P.)

You smiled and sent him a good night message back.

“Dumbass spider”, you said quietly.

Another notification appeared. This was a text from your mother, which freaked you out a bit, but it said “call me”, so you couldn’t really do anything about being scared at the moment. You dialled her number and waited, full of dread, for her to answer. When she finally answered, you said a quiet “hi” to her. She asked you how things were going, and you played along, saying everything was good while really trying not to sound like you were panicking.

Less than a few minutes later, she said her goodbyes. Doubts started creeping into your mind. *What if I’m wrong and she’s actually really nice? What if she’s only like that to me sometimes because I’m just,, Bad? Maybe I made a mistake by telling mister Stark.. she’s nice to me sometimes, what if it’s like, okay?” You started feeling a bit uneasy, afraid that you were making a huge mistake by asking him to help you with getting out of the situation with your mother.

You hugged your knees and stared at the floor, overthinking this one interaction with her. *What if she’s actually really mad at me and when she sees me back there again she’ll show her anger? What if she somehow found out that I told mister Stark?*

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fic #avengers fics #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fic #avengers x abused!reader

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

I’m so excited for the next chapter of a better life!

that means a lot to me!! i’m glad you like it!!! i’m gonna be posting it in like a few minutes, thank you for reminding me!!! i was gonna do it earlier but my attention span sucks, but like, it shall be posted in like 10 minutes maximum!

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

I’m really loving a better life. It’s beautiful 😍

asdfjajshalja thank you!! i’m glad you’re enjoying it!!!!!!

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 12, Avengers x reader)

ayyy here’s the new chapter, i’ll be posting 13 on the 24th of November, i’m just kind of a bit late on the writing, and i need a bit of extra time to catch up on things since school’s been intense for the première étape, lots of things due, as well as personal life things and i’ve awfully tired lately

i hope you enjoy this! please like if you do, and reblogs are really appreciated as well, and so are comments! tell me what you like, or what i could’ve done better, or how things made you feel, or whatever else!

tw: bruise (like, it’s mentioned and seen by another person in the chapter, no actual physical abuse happening here), mentions of abuse, a bit of anxiety but no attacks in the chapter, hugs (will tag this now just in case)

When you got to the main room, pretty much everyone was there. People were laughing, talking, having fun. Clint and Natasha were messing around and lightly pushing each other, just like Wanda and Pietro who were doing exactly that, but on the floor.

Tony was sitting in a couch in a more secluded spot in the room, looking like he was deep in thought.

When you and Peter approached him, he seemed to be brought back to reality pretty quickly. You thought you saw him flinch at a loud voice seconds after.

“Hey, you two, what’s up?”, he asked.

“Mister Stark, um, can we talk to you? Like, somewhere there isn’t a ton of people.”

“Sure, kid”, Tony replied. He looked at you: “Want us to go over to your room?”

You nodded, and you all headed there. Tony turned the starry sky over the walls off, as well as the music. He then asked the AI installed to make sure anyone outside the room couldn’t hear what was said.

You sat down onto the bed, Peter next to you. Tony dragged the desk chair over to face the bed.

“So, what’s up?”

You looked down at your hands. “So there’s.. a thing.” You began fidgeting from anxiety. *Maybe I’m doing the wrong thing? What if he won’t help? What if he’ll tell her about what I said?* You shook your head slightly, trying your best to get these thoughts out of your head.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’ve got this. If you need help, ask me”, Peter reminded you.

Tony looked at the two of you with a concerned expression. “Y/N, I’m here for you. Take your time. It’s okay.” His voice was soft as he said this.

You nodded and took a deep breath.

“I, um.. I.. it’s just...” you stuttered, getting more and more nervous. Speaking was getting harder from the anxiety, and you noticed your hands were shaking, which would make it hard for you to use sign language if you tried to.

“Do you want me to say it, or do you want to show him?” Peter gently brought you back to reality.

“I.. I, uh, I’m just gonna... yeah..” You pulled up your sleeve to where your mother had most recently left a bruise. It was a slightly darker shade of green, so it was still noticeable.

“Oh shit, Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to grab your arm this hard the other day, I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.” He looked genuinely panicked.

Then, Peter said it: “Actually, mister Stark”, he paused and looked at you, “that.. was their mother’s fault.”

Tony immediately froze. “What?” You could hear the anger in his voice and tried to make yourself smaller out of habit.

There was a long moment of silence.

“What else has she done to you?” Despite the anger in his previous sentence, he tried really hard to relax his tone of voice.

You quietly described a few other things that have happened when she was angry. Your sentences were full of stuttering, but Tony seemed okay with it.

Peter was horrified at what you were describing, even though it was relatively vague. You decided not to go into too much detail unless it was actually asked. Tony, he just looked somewhere between horrified and furious. It kinda scared you, but you knew that him reacting that way would probably mean that something would be done to get you out of that environment.

“I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this bullshit. No one should live like that. Do you want me to do something about it? Because I can. You can come live here. With all of us. You’ll be in the same school as Peter. And you can leave your room anytime. We can get you someone to help with your mental health as well, if you want to.”

Life with the Avengers sounded great. You hadn’t really expected him to ask that, but maybe it was just because you were used to your mother’s behaviour by now. You nodded.

“Alright. Stay with us for a few more days if you can, okay? Don’t go back unless you have to. You’re safe here. I’ll be making some calls today and tomorrow, if needed, to make sure things go smoothly and all. By the end of the week, I’ll be your legal guardian. Peter, thank you for helping them. Alright, now, both of you, do you want a hug? If yes, get over here.”

He got off his chair and opened his arms. Peter hugged him, and you decided to join in a few seconds after pulling your sleeve back down to hide the bruise.

The embrace felt like it went on for long minutes You quickly wiped your eyes before a tear could escape. Tony noticed this and rubbed your back, saying reassuring things and then starting to crack jokes to make you laugh.

After a while of just hanging out, Tony left the room. You saw him taking his phone out of his pocket as he closed the door behind him. Half an hour later, Peter and you hugged, and he headed home to his Aunt. 20 minutes later, he sent you a message to inform you that he got home okay, and that he’ll be heading to sleep, but you can text him whenever. You thanked him for saying that, and especially for helping you tell Tony.

You checked the lock on the door. It was already locked. You decided to get the AI to turn the music and starry light back on, hoping it’ll ease your anxiety, even if just  a bit.

After a while, you fell asleep.

Less than an hour after falling asleep, you woke up with a start. *What if mister Stark tells the other Avengers about what I told him? I don’t want everyone to know.* You felt a bit ashamed of your situation.

You left your room, making sure to step quietly. After a few minutes of thinking it through, you quietly knocked on Tony’s door.

Moments later, he opened the door. He was still wearing his day clothes, which wasn’t strange, as it still wasn’t past midnight.

“Hey, kid, you okay?”

“Hi.. yeah, I’m okay, I’m just... please don’t tell the others about today? I don’t want them all knowing, you know”, you looked down at the floor.

“Hey, that’s understandable, I won’t tell them without your okay for it. Would you want to tell Clint and Nat? They’ve been worried about you.“

You shrugged. “Maybe. I’d.. I’d rather not do that yet though. I.. I don’t know. Sorry.”

“Kid, I get it. It’s scary. It’s okay. You’re doing great. Do things at your pace, right?” He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. It’ll be okay. I feel like you might really enjoy living here with us.”

You mustered up a smile despite being exhausted.

“You should go get some sleep, Y/N. You look exhausted. Don’t you have work tomorrow again?”

“Yeah.. thank you, mister Stark. Good night.”

“Good night”, he replied. He waited until you were back in your room to lock his own door.

Half an hour passed, and you were on the brink of falling asleep. Even though you dreaded falling asleep tonight, you couldn’t resist anymore. You slipped further into your warm covers, and finally drifted off.

#avengers fic #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fics #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fic #avengers x abused!reader

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 11, Avengers x reader)

ay, here’s this chapter

12 is gonna be posted on the 3rd of november

i know i don’t post in like a way that makes sense, and i’m sorry for that, and that’s not gonna change for a while because my life is a mess and that’s just how it be 

Wednesday approached quickly and took you by surprise. You couldn’t really remember what happened the day between your two first training lessons, but you were happy to finally be back at the tower again.

After just hanging out and having fun for an hour, the three of you once again began the lesson.

This time, Natasha showed you how to get an opponent to be distracted if you were attacked. The trick was doing something weird in order to make the opponent think “what the fuck” and lose focus.

So, when she asked Clint to hold his arm up and not let it down, she licked her finger and immediately tried to stuff it into Clint’s ear, which cause him to visibly panic and move his arms to protect himself from another person’s saliva. It made you laugh, but you did so quietly and tried your hardest to make it unnoticeable.

Natasha also laughed, wiping her finger, but her laugh was louder and made it sound like she felt free, in some way. It slightly eased your anxiety and you smiled.

Then, you moved on to another move.

“If someone, let’s say, grabs your hair, what you want to do is, you grab their elbow or arm, yank it forward, and then immediately shove their face the fuck away and down backwards with your hand. Or you could grab their hand, pull on it while it’s still holding on to your hair, and just yank full force while you spin to the other side.”

After a brief demonstration and a certain time of practicing this and a few other moves, you were sitting on the floor, exhausted and kind of out of breath. 

“So, to finish up for today, here’s a tip: you ever get attacked by someone who has a knife, just run the fuck away and fast. You can’t defend yourself if you’ve been stabbed. It’ll be harder, even if you can. And whatever you do, don’t pull a knife out, it’ll intensify the bleeding.”

You nodded and whispered a weak “thank you” to the two of them for the lesson. You were really tired, and decided to ask your mother if you could “stay over at a friend’s for the night” again. To your surprise, she was fine with it, as long as you got to work on time. She even said you could stay for as long as you wanted, but only if you answered her calls and texts when you weren’t at work. It was a bit unsettling, seeing her be nice to you after her constant anger and hatred. But then again, she usually sometimes did something nice to make you feel like maybe you imagined all the bad things she’s said and done to you.

With Nat and Clint accompanying you, you went up into the kitchen and the sleeping rooms area of the tower. Tony was there, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep, his arms and head lying down on the table. Upon seeing him, you just said “Mood”, which kind of confused him, but he didn’t actually ask for an explanation. The adults continued hanging out in the main room, having discussions in lower tones as it was getting late now.

One of the many things you really liked about this place was that there was no screaming. Not actually angry screaming, anyway. Not the kind of screaming that could make you fear for your life. You didn’t have to lock doors to stay safe, even though it did make you feel safer.

You just silently went to the room he’d given you, took a few things out of your small backpack, and placed them around the room. You were already starting to move some of your things from where you lived to here, just in case you needed to get out quickly and couldn’t take much stuff. You really hoped you’d be welcome here if anything happened. Having known Tony for a few weeks, you felt like the only thing that would make you unwelcome here would be actually murdering someone, so you weren’t as worried as you could’ve been about it.

You locked your door from habit, closed the curtains, and changed into the pyjamas that were on the covers on the bed. When you moved the covers to lie down, you discovered really soft fresh bedsheets. You slid in, tightly pulling the covers over and around yourself, hoping to keep warm during the night.

“Turn off lights, please”, you said, kind of unsure of yourself, but then the lights turned off, just as you hoped.

A mechanical voice came from the room:

“Hello, Y/N. Would you like me to project some realistic looking stars and constellations onto the ceiling, to serve the purpose of a night light?”

For a moment, you thought it through. Projections of space onto the ceiling? It sounded pretty cool, so you accepted and thanked the device. Seconds later, your ceiling was covered in stars. It looked beautiful, and calmed you down.

“Would you enjoy some calming music in order to ease the process of falling and staying asleep?”

You quickly accepted after you realized that you could still hear the Avengers talking in the main room.

Despite the music and the comfortable glow of the room, you couldn’t sleep: you kept thinking about what would happen if you just.. told the Avengers about how you were treated where you lived. Maybe they could take you away from there. Maybe you wouldn’t need to go back ever again. Maybe all you had to do was just tell one of the adults about the situation and they could help you out of it.

*Peter knows though. And I definitely can’t just tell one of them by myself. Maybe I could ask Peter to help..?* , you thought. But Peter was probably home right now, you realized.

You checked the time on your phone. It wasn’t even exactly the evening yet, it was only 5pm. You decided to send him a text to see if he was busy.

- Hey, what’s up? (Y/N)

- Just finished watching a movie with Aunt May, you? (P.P.)

- I’m just chilling in my room in the Tower. She said I can stay and sleep here for a week if I want to, only if I keep her updated though. (Y/N)

- That’s great!! Did you want to meet up or something? (P.P.)

- About that, I had a question. I’m thinking of,, You Know,,, telling them about the thing. But like, I’m not sure I can do it alone, and especially not everyone at once. Basically I don’t know if I can stay there much longer. But I’m scared. (Y/N)

- Aunt May’s okay with me leaving the house right now, so if you want, I can come over there in about 15 minutes, and help you out? (P.P.)

- That would help a lot, Peter. Thank you so much. Like, you absolutely don’t have to do that, and you’re doing it, and I’m just,, thank you so much. I would physically fight someone for you. (Y/N)

- Okay bold of you to assume I’d let you? You could get hurt? I’ll be there in 15 tho (P.P.)

- Thank you (Y/N)

You smiled and took a deep breath. For about 10 more minutes, you stayed in your room, looking at the ceiling and walls, still covered in stars. You listened to music in hopes that it might calm you down a bit.

After that, you went to meet Peter down in the lobby of the building. You hugged, lingering in the embrace for a bit longer because at this point, you were getting more and more anxious, and Peter just wanted you to feel at least a bit safer.

“I’m kind of scared I’m doing the wrong thing”, you said quietly.

He was slightly taken aback. “Y/N, no. You’re doing great, I promise. It’ll help you. They’ll help you out.”

You shrugged shyly. “She can be nice to me sometimes though. Like, she’s letting me stay here for the week. And others have it worse than me. And like, sometimes I deserve it. It feels like maybe I shouldn’t say anything, you know?”

“Y/N, no matter how nice she can be sometimes, she shouldn’t be hurting you. There isn’t an excuse for that. You don’t deserve any of it. You’re afraid of her. No one should be afraid that their parent will actually do or say something to hurt them on purpose. You shouldn’t have to deal with this at all.”

“I guess”, you said, avoiding eye contact. “Thank you.”

He nodded towards the lift. “Do you have anyone specific in mind?”

You shrugged. 

“We can get mister Stark. Telling him would likely have the most impact. And it’ll help you a bit, because you’re probably too anxious to tell anyone else about it at the same time. Anxiety sucks, by the way. It’s okay to have it though. You’re doing great.” Peter looked at you as you both walked to the lift. “I’ll be with you the entire time if you want”, he quickly added.

You pressed the button to the floor of the common room. You hesitantly mumbled an “okay”, and thanked Peter for being there.

#avengers fic #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fics #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fic #avengers x abused!reader

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 10, Avengers x reader)

hey, i really lost track of time and forgot that i had to post yesterday, sorry about that, so i’ll be posting today and i’ll also post the next chapter on the 20th of October

tw: wrist grabbing, minor panic attack (hands shaking, breathing wrong, slightly rocking, you know)

It was already Monday, and when you woke up, the sun was shining bright despite your curtains covering the window. You checked the clock and began getting ready for work.

After your usual work shift, you headed to the Stark tower, once again. This time, you didn’t get drinks: you had less than 3 hours for your first self-defense lesson with Natasha. You could feel your heart beating faster, and you weren’t sure whether it was because of the anxiety or the excitement you felt. You didn’t want to be a burden to Natasha, because she surely had something better to do than teach some random kid how to fight. *She probably wouldn’t have asked if I wanted to do it if she had any prior engagements*, you realized, trying to halt the flow of negative thoughts.

Upon getting to the tower, you immediately took the lift to the floor on which you had a room. As you hoped, Natasha was there, her back facing you, drinking something from her mug while having a signed conversation with Clint. He noticed you first and informed her of your presence.

You approached them and greeted them as they got up.

“Hey, Y/N. Ready for training?”, Natasha asked.

You nodded, and the three of you went back into the lift. The two of them were still having an intense conversation. After getting to the right floor, Natasha led you to the centre of a room with a mattress covered floor. There were walls around the room where the Avengers would practice rock climbing, and many other installations designed for their training were also present.

“Right, so, we’ll be starting self-defense in general today. So let’s say someone grabs you from behind. What you want to do in that case would be to swing backwards, kind of knocking the back of your head into their face. Then, you swing down, firmly grab their leg a bit over the ankle, and you just yank it up to your chest so that the person falls on their ass and maybe back.”

She and Clint then demonstrated the move to you, and when you were ready, Natasha got you to do it.

“Alternatively, you can ram your elbow into their face, and then into their stomach when they throw their hands up to their face.”

The two of them then showed you what they meant by that, and you repeated the move with them, all of you making sure not to make any actual damage to the opponent’s face.

After getting through over a dozen other self-defense moves, practicing them repeatedly, and probably getting yourself a new set of bruises while taking turns fist fighting with Natasha and Clint, you checked the hour. It was time to get back to the apartment unless you wanted to get in trouble with your mother.

“Hey, uh.. thank you, but I’ve got to go now”, you said apologetically. You really didn’t want to leave, but you  didn’t have a choice.

Natasha and Clint ended the training for the day, chatting and playfully pushing each other, and a few moments later, you all decided on a next date for self-defense training: on Wednesday, you would all meet up again, just so that a day passed between the first lessons.

Clint offered to walk you home, but you thanked him and hastily refused. You really didn’t need anyone in the building you lived in to know what you were doing in your free time. If your mother found out, she’d forbid you from going outside, and would even make you quit your job.

About twenty minutes later, you were opening the door to the apartment. You could already hear yelling coming from inside, and you were trying to be as quiet as possible, even though you knew you’d probably get spotted anyway. Closing the door behind you, you walked in. You could feel your heart beating quicker, and as you stepped through the hallway to get to your room, you felt a hand harshly grab your wrist. You flinched, turned, and immediately saw your mother’s face staring back at you.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

You froze, not knowing what to say and completely caught off guard, and stuttered, trying to quickly come up with an excuse. She let go off your wrist, but kept glaring at you.

“I asked you where the fuck you were, you ungrateful bitch, why can’t you fucking answer me?!”

Your breathing started becoming uneven, and you quickly shoved your now shaking hands into your pockets despite the fact that you might need to protect yourself if something happened.

She seemed to be getting angrier the longer it took you to answer.

“I, uh, I.. I just decided to do some extra work today, because we were understaffed, and I -“, you started, now desperately trying to not show her that it felt like the room was fading and spinning around you.

“Ugh, fine.” She rolled her eyes, throwing a quick disdainful glance at you, and quickly walked away.

You could hear her stomping around as you backed away to your bedroom and quietly closed the door behind yourself, sitting down onto the floor and rocking ever so slightly to try and get at least a fraction of the nervous energy out of your body.

After almost an hour, you slowly got up and moved over to your bed. You were still full of anxiety, but you were exhausted, and though you were still wearing your day clothes, you fell asleep almost immediately for the first time in years.

#avengers fic #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fics #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fic #listen i have No idea what i’m doing and you’re all gonna have to deal with it

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 9, Avengers x reader)

ay, here’s another chapter, i’m trying to wrap this fic up quickly but also in a way that makes sense, so like,, bear with me here,,, so i can move on to the next ones because this has been going for months (i’m gonna do a one chaptered one first because i need a break, but then i’ll jump into a multi-chaptered fic that anon wanted me to write)

i hope you enjoy this

also i’m gonna post chapter 10 on the 13th of October, so there’s that

as usual, please like/reblog/comment if you enjoy, tell me if you’ve got any tips (just please don’t be mean, that won’t help in any way, constructive criticism is a thing), tell me if i made a mistake

When you walked in, Peter and Clint were already practicing. Clint saw that Peter was close to perfecting his skills and encouraged him when he needed it. You really loved that Clint was so calm but also happy about this progress.

You went over to grab your bow and arrows when you heard Clint come up behind you. You turned to him and greeted him, shrinking into yourself because you weren’t sure of what he would say of your actions. You didn’t want to disappoint him. Looking to the floor, you mumbled and signed an apology. 

You shifted your gaze to his face for a few seconds, and to your surprise, he smiled and expressed to you that it’s okay. He then put his hand in his pocket, pulling out a black leather case. Your lock picks. He handed the case over to you with a smirk.

“Here. I think this belongs to you.” He nodded at it.

You hesitated, but took it, stuffing it in your own pocket.

“But won’t mister Stark be mad? He’ll probably be looking for this. He kept it for a reason.”

“Y/N, Tony gave this to me when we were on the other end of the mirror. It’s okay. He wanted me to give it back to you.” You furrowed your brows, confused by what Clint had said. He continued: “When we were there, he was completely aware that you could just pick the lock of the room and just escape. You decided not to do that. He really appreciated that, and it made him trust you not to do it again. Don’t do it again, by the way. Also, I’m pretty sure he didn’t want you to have spent your money on this set just to have it taken away.”

You thanked Clint. His face lit up for a few moments, and he signed again: “By the way, Tony says that you have Nat and I to thank for being able to stay here, but honestly, he likes you a lot. You’re a good kid, Y/N. He really likes that you and Peter are friends. He just sometimes doesn’t like to admit that he’s actually really nice.”

You nodded and thanked him again, pleasantly surprised by what you had just found out. Clint smiled again and walked off, grabbing his bow from the table a few meters away from where you were standing. Then, in quick succession and while running around the room, he shot a couple dozen of arrows at different targets, showing you a quick routine you can practice. You didn’t need him to tell you that he wanted you to try it out.

You tried to do the same thing, but it took you way more time to complete it: you needed to position yourself properly and efficiently for each target. You specialized in moving quietly to escape people, not quickly, usually. Being quiet used to be enough: avoiding creaking floorboards, opening doors silently, breathing and barely making any sound. Now that you were training here, even though it was for fun, you needed to become faster. Hopefully, Natasha could help you with that on Monday. After all, fighting requires speed.

You glanced at your watch: 4:52pm. You still had about 40 minutes left until you had to take your stuff and go back to where you lived.

The time passed quickly as you repeated the routine Clint showed you, trying to do it in different ways each time, trying to concentrate on getting it right instead of improving your timing.

Noticing it was already 5:30, you quietly approached Peter and gently touched his shoulder with a finger, indicating you wanted to say something. He lowered his bow and turned to you, a look of concern on his face.

“Hey, Y/N! What’s up? I noticed you didn’t come with us immediately when mister Stark told us to go, are you okay? Did he say something? Like, did he -“

“I’m okay. I just wanted to say, uh, I’m gonna have to.. go now.. so, yeah. Didn’t want to leave without saying that.” You lowered your gaze.

“Alright. I’m thinking of going home too in a minute. Maybe I can accompany you?”

After a moment of hesitation, you agreed. You went back to the room Tony gave you to take your backpack. Peter met you in the lobby a minute later. The two of you walked, you immediately starting to walk fast and Peter catching up. You nervously glanced at your watch every minute, but you quickly stopped by at the dollar store to get some cheap food for yourself. You got yourself a few small boxes of ramen noodles, each costing you less than a dollar.

You didn’t remember how you got to a conversation, but Peter began talking about his crush again, MJ. You weren’t looking at him much, too concerned about getting back on time, but you could hear how happy he was. You listened to him speak and occasionally said small words to indicate you were still listening.

When you got to your building, you told Peter you were here.

“Hey, I live just a few blocks away!” He beamed, telling you exactly which building, and told you the apartment number. “Feel free to come by, alright? Just text me first so aunt May and I know to expect you.”

You nodded shyly and thanked him, nervously checking your watch again. You still had ten minutes.

“Hey, Peter,” you started with an unsure voice. “If I.. if I don’t text you within half an hour, could you please.. uh, could you, like, could you maybe..” You took a deep breath: sometimes it was hard for you to ask for help.

He seemed to catch on to what you were trying to say, because he finished your sentence: “.. tell mister Stark to get here?” His voice was soft.

You nodded and exhaled shakily. “I gotta go. Thank you. Half an hour.” You then hugged and went on to your separate ways.

As you were unlocking the door to the apartment, there were five minutes left. The first thing you noticed when you walked through the door was the complete silence. Not even as much as a floorboard creaking or a breath being taken or released. It was deafening, in a way.

The second thing you noticed was your mother, in the kitchen. She didn’t even look at you as you walked by. *Good*, you thought, *at least I won’t have to deal with explosive anger today, or right now, anyway.*

You quickly went and hid away in your room and took a book out of your shelf. You could barely hear noise of kitchen supplies as your mother made food you knew wasn’t for you. Before you had the chance to forget, you texted Peter, stating that everything was okay. He replied seconds later, asking you once again to tell him if you needed help or if anything happened. You assured him that you would, and you were telling the truth for this one. A few minutes later, putting your phone away, you completely forgot about the real world as the book you began reading absorbed you.

Five hours later, you woke up: you had fallen asleep while reading again. The book was interesting, but you were exhausted. You were less than halfway done. *Not too bad.* You checked the time on your phone: it was around midnight. For several minutes, you listened, scanning for any noise that wasn’t supposed to be there coming from the hallway: footsteps, breathing, humming. There was nothing. You could hear your own heartbeat.

You quietly took took one of the small ramen noodle boxes and took the cover off, and then slid over to the kitchen. You could easily do things in the darkness by now: you wouldn’t want to wake anyone up by turning lights on. After boiling some water, you poured it into the box of ramen noodles and put the contents of the vegetable bag and the powder taste bag into the water. Then, you made your way to your room, taking utensils on your way and closing your door behind you.

After having finished eating and making sure you were the only person awake, you opened your curtains. Thought it was pitch black outside right now, you knew that just in a few hours, the sky would start becoming clearer from the early summer sunrise. Night and very early morning was the only time you could feel peaceful when living here. It was quiet, for once.

You found yourself thinking of the Avengers. *Maybe they could help me,* you hoped. But you knew that if you wanted help, you’d need to tell them about the things that have happened, and you were far too scared to do that. Because if your mother found out you told them, and somehow she always managed to find out, things would get so much worse in so little time. And after all, your mother has threatened to kill you before, and you could definitely imagine her doing that. If she tried to, she’d have just said that she was “just trying to help” and burst into tears, immediately turning you into the bad person for trying to defend yourself. She was unpredictable and manipulative and you hated that sometimes, she could convince you that she did nothing wrong and that you did something bad.

Pulling yourself back to what was happening, you moved the empty ramen box to the trash bin, putting the utensils in a hidden corner of your work table. You closed the curtains, changed into your pyjamas, and lowered yourself into your bed, hugging a small plushy as your back faced the wall.

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers fic #avengers fics #avengers x reader fic

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 8, Avengers x reader)

hello fellow humans, here’s chapter 8

chapter 9 shall be posted on the 29th of September 

please like/comment/reblog if you enjoy this,, also, tw: kinda panic attack but everything turns out fine, arm grabbing (like once but no harm is meant, and not by a parent), swearing

thank

After having lunch with Peter, you both headed to the floor where Tony and the others would be. You made sure your sweater was covering your arms, trying to avoid further incidents. You weren’t ready. You weren’t sure you ever would be.

When you walked into the kitchen, a black man you hadn’t seen before was sitting in a wheelchair, and you discovered that his name was James Rhodes, but Tony called him Rhodey. He looked pretty happy, but also very serious. Around Tony, he liked joking around, but usually kept to himself more. You said hi to him, he smiled and responded, and you had a nice conversation. Then you put the water on to boil, and offered him tea. He eagerly accepted.

Just then, Wanda walked in with a man by her side. He introduced himself to you as Pietro Maximoff. They were twins, you quickly realized. The two went on joking around, pushing each other around like siblings usually do, but all without bad intentions.

While you were observing them walk away, you heard the kettle boiling, and began making tea. Rhodey, sensing you’d be too nervous to do so, simultaneously told everyone in the room that the water was boiled in case they wanted tea. You sat close to him until you both finished your tea, wanting to be polite, and put away your mugs. He thanked you with a smile on his face, excused himself, and went over to Tony, who kept throwing seemingly concerned glances at you. You ignored it.

Suddenly, Peter sneezed really loudly, apologized, and then you all heard a booming voice coming from the vents say “Bless you”. You laughed quietly as Tony yelled at Clint to “get the fuck out of the vents!” You saw Natasha smile, leave the room, and minutes later, there were sounds of a struggle in the vents. A few more minutes passed by and she came back, dragging a kind of scared and laughing Clint behind her.

“I swear I didn’t do anything!”, he said, raising his arms in an “I’m innocent” way.

Tony and Natasha stared at him, both trying not to burst out laughing as Clint walked backwards to the coffee machine, immediately getting everything together to make a fresh pot. Loud conversations in the room quickly resumed, and Peter and you decided to go back to the archery room to practice more and just hang out.

When you got there, the door was locked. Peter turned to leave and go somewhere else, but you touched his arm and then took a small leather case out of your sweater pocket: your lock picking set. You had a few picks that you always had with you, just in case, you told yourself. And while you knew that picking the lock of any room in the Stark Tower would probably be a bad idea, you just couldn’t help yourself right now. You slid a tension wrench and a pick in the lock. In mere seconds, having practiced picking many different locks, you already had the door open. While putting away your case, you noticed Peter looked really surprised.

“Y/N, how did you -“

“Maybe eight hours of practice and a lot of frustration”, you said, smiling shyly.

He nodded after a brief pause and you entered the room, turning the lights on and closing the door behind you.

Right as you were picking up the bow and arrows you used, you heard the door slowly open. A chill crept up your spine and you hid behind the nearest pillar, Peter rapidly doing the same with the one closest to him. You heard quiet voices that you slowly realized were Tony, Clint, and Natasha. They walked slowly and quietly, but you could still hear them after spending years being silent enough to hear the lightest of footsteps, the slightest of breaths.

You realized they were probably alerted of the break-in and came around to investigate. Peter looked at you and signed a queen at you: “Should we say it’s us?” You answered him with an uneasy shrug.

Then, he spoke loudly, but sounded not too sure of himself. “Mister Stark? It’s us, Peter and Y/N.”

Tony sighed heavily and you heard him put away his weapons, Natasha and Clint doing the same. You and Peter came out from behind the pillars. You already felt a knot of anxiety forming in your throat, but you were overtaken by a deep sense of dread when you saw Tony’s facial expression. He looked really angry.

“What the fuck?!”

Peter started mumbling something you couldn’t quite make out, but then you stepped into the conversation.

“Please don’t be mad at him, mister Stark, it’s honestly my fault. I, uh, I was the one who picked the lock. He had no idea I was going to do that. It’s not his fault, and I’m to blame for this. I didn’t mean to scare you by doing this, I’m sorry, I won’t -“

“First of all, Y/N, mad is a bit of an understatement, second, I’m going to reinforce the security so people can’t pick the lock, and finally, you could’ve just asked for someone to open the room. It’s that fucking simple.” He grabbed your arm and you winced: he had grabbed the exact place where your bruise was. Maybe he saw it, maybe he didn’t, but he kept holding on in his anger. He then took Peter’s, leading you both out of the room. You were starting to get a bit dizzy from having your arm grabbed angrily, but you tried not to show it.

A few minutes later, you and Peter were sitting in an interrogation room: soundproof silver walls, a table, and a few chairs. On one of the walls was what you were sure was a two-way mirror: in your room, you saw your own reflection on it because your room was brightly lit, but on the other side, people saw through it, as their room was dark. The door to the room was locked from the outside, and Tony had confiscated your lock picks, and even though you knew you could pick it with a hairpin and a few other things you had, you weren’t going to do that.

You were walking around, restless and anxious, Peter watching you. He was fidgeting with his hands, sat in one of the chairs in the room. The room was beginning to seem too bright to you, and your breathing was getting shaky. You sat down onto the cold metal floor, your back against the wall, closing your eyes and trying to take slow deep breaths, inhaling through your nose for four seconds, holding it for two, and then exhaling through your mouth for seven seconds.

When you finally opened your eyes, Peter was sitting next to you, on the floor, trying to be a comforting presence. You sat there for maybe 10 more minutes, quietly talking about what could happen.

Suddenly, Tony entered the room. You quickly got up. Peter took a few seconds longer than you had. You were too scared to look Tony in the eye right now, and you just had trouble making eye contact in general, so you just stared at his general figure, switching it up every once in a while to not be too awkward.

“Alright, so we’ve decided that it’s fine. Just don’t do it again. Y/N, you’re still welcome here, but you have Natasha and Clint to thank for that. They’re the only other ones aware of this incident. Nat thinks you’re a good influence on Peter, and you two”, he nodded at you and Peter, “are friends. So I don’t want to be an asshole. Clint enjoys your company during his archery practice, and just in general. Alright. Go off now.”

“Thank you so much, mister Stark, I’m really sorry.” You looked down at the floor and began following Peter out of the room when Tony put his arm to prevent you from leaving. Caught off guard, you took a few steps back. You looked at Tony. His eyes seemed to have that sadness in them again.

“Kid, your hands are shaking”, he said softly. “And you know that’s a two-way mirror, right? I know a panic attack when I see one. That breathing exercise, I’ve used it too.”

You looked away and tried to speak, but the words weren’t forming, and you didn’t quite know what to say anyway. You quickly put your hands in your sweater pockets, staying so quiet you could hear Tony’s breathing.

“It’s okay. Also, Nat told me. About last night.” He looked at you, probably hoping to get something out of you. An explanation, a confirmation, anything.

Instead of saying anything, you felt a deep sense of shame. You couldn’t explain it, but even though you wanted to be helped, you didn’t want people to know, especially not Iron Man, who’s dealt with much worse than bad parenting. While you were a bit zoned out, he approached slowly. You didn’t back away, but leaned slightly backwards.

“Would a hug help right now? Even a bit?” He smiled warmly.

You hesitated, but ended up nodding. 

“Come here”, he said, coming closer and hugging you tightly, but gently, making sure you can get out of the hug if you need to. You relaxed your shoulders and awkwardly tried to hug him back. He didn’t feel like the kind of person to hurt someone or do something unexpected during a hug, not in this context, anyway. The hug felt warm and comfortable, and you weren’t afraid like you were when your relatives hugged you.

“Look, I don’t know what happened to you, or what’s going on with you, but whatever it is, you didn’t deserve it. Trust me.” He paused. “We’re all here for you if you need to talk. A lot of us get anxiety and panic attacks, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. Also, Y/N, listen,I’m sorry. For grabbing your arm like that. I shouldn’t have done that. It won’t happen again.”

You stayed silent, closing your eyes for a brief moment.

“And you can stay here for as long as you need or want to. At the Tower, I mean. The room I gave you will be there whenever you need it. You can bring anything you want over there, as long as you don’t make a mess out of it.”

“Thank you, mister Stark. I really appreciate all of that.” You stopped hugging and he smiled at you.

“Anytime, kid. I’ve got your back. We all do. I have to go take care of some stuff right now, but I asked Clint to get Peter to the archery room, so you can go over there now, they’ll both be there. Clint might want to talk to you though”, he warned you.

You smiled back at him and made your way to the archery room after Tony left the interrogation room.

You opened the door and stepped inside.

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #a better life avengers

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

A better life (Chapter 7, Avengers x reader)

hey, i’m back with chapter 7! chapter 8 will be posted on the 15th of september, also, likes are great! comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! i hope you like this

tw: bruises, and i think that’s pretty much it

When you woke up again, it was morning, the sun was fully in the sky. Natasha was asleep, but woke up a few minutes after you. You just stayed motionless in bed, thinking and breathing, until she woke up.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

“I’m.. I’m alright. Thank you. I’m sorry, I -“, you began. 

“Nothing to apologize for. It happens, and that’s okay. But it’ll keep happening if you don’t tell anyone about what you’re going through. Trust me. And it often gets worse if you keep it in.”

You looked away and didn’t reply. You knew that, obviously. But you were terrified. What if your mother found out you told someone again? The last time that happened, you locked yourself in the bathroom for hours, sinking to the floor, hoping she wouldn’t find the key to open the door. And then, when she saw you later that night, she started crying about how mean and ungrateful you are. You still remembered how she hit the bathroom door for almost an hour, shouting that you’re a liar, her usual “how dare you do this to me”, and she kept yelling that you’ll never be good enough, that you’re stupid, that you have it easy and shouldn’t complain because she pays for your food, clothes, and school, as well as fun activities sometimes.

You closed your eyes as Natasha stood up, pulling the extra blankets off the bed and throwing them at the couch. A few of them fell too early or slid off the couch, but Natasha didn’t seem to care much: it was too early and she hadn’t had any caffeine yet. You took a deep breath, opening your eyes and sitting up. The room looked too bright and it hurt. It seemed as if the blinds automatically opened in the morning. You got out of bed and immediately shut them. Natasha didn’t disagree. She was still in her pyjamas.

“I’m going to go back to my room, to get dressed and all. See you in the kitchen? I’ll boil some water”, she said.

“Sure.. thank you. For helping. And for the water.” You kept your sentences short, hoping you wouldn’t stutter too much like that.

“Of course”, she said softly, already closing the door behind her.

You quickly made the bed and folded the blankets on and around the couch, neatly placing them at the edge of the bed. You changed into the pants you wore yesterday and pulled on a shirt that was in the room. You pulled your sweater on and put the shirt you wore yesterday into the small backpack you always carried around with you, also taking out a fresh pair of socks and putting them on. You placed the bag on the bed. You put your shoes on beside the door and just stood there breathing for a minute.

You opened the door, closed it, and walked silently through the hallway, taking your time, and quickly ended up in the kitchen. It smelled like strong, freshly brewed coffee. Natasha was already there, Tony was drinking from a red and gold mug, Clint was sitting on a counter, yet again, but this time he was holding a half full coffee pitcher. Your eyebrows shot up: drinking that much coffee is not a good idea, and you knew by experience. You once drank several big mugs of it in just a few hours, and you remember thinking “Is the world shaking or is it just me” at some point.

You exchanged small nods with Clint and Tony and went over to Natasha.

“Water just boiled, choose your tea quickly.”

You thanked her and found some raspberry tea in one of the boxes. Taking the same kind of mug you took yesterday, you made tea. Natasha was already drinking something that smelled like peppermint tea.

“Headache?”, you asked.

She nodded, surprise barely showing on her face.

“I kind of know things about tea”, you answered the unasked question.

She didn’t respond, and you went to sit down in front of the table, one leg under you and the other one over it, knee at a higher level than the table. You were never really good at sitting properly. You gently put the mug on the table.

“You’re quiet”, Tony noticed.

You gave him an inquisitive look as he approached the table.

“I mean, I didn’t actually hear you walk through the hallway. Or come into the kitchen. If I hadn’t seen you, I wouldn’t have known you were in the room. You walk quietly. I didn’t even hear you open or close your door”, he explained. “Why? And how?”

“That’s just how it be”, you shrugged.

He nodded, unsure of whether he should pursue the topic or not. Finally, he decided not to, and you were thankful for that.

There were a few thumps from the other hallway, and Thor walked in. You smiled at each other. “Good morning, everyone”, he happily said. Clint grunted, Tony made some kind of “eh” noise. Natasha just sipped her tea.

“There’s no such thing as a good morning”, you looked at Thor, elevating your mug in a toast manner, and you both laughed. Tony whispered a small “That’s fair”, but looked a bit concerned. He looked tired as hell, and he probably was.

“Cheers, I’ll drink to that”, said Clint before taking a long swig of coffee and setting the pitcher down beside him. Maybe Peter was making everyone look at memes, maybe Clint found it fun. You weren’t too sure, but it made you laugh a bit.

You began sipping on your tea, still not sitting properly, watching as Thor got some beer from the fridge and sat down in a couch not far from the table you were sitting at.

Half an hour later, having finished your tea and washed your mug, you excused yourself and went to the first floor of the Tower. You were expecting Peter to come by soon, and you didn’t want him to arrive and think you’d forgotten about him. It was an experience far too known to you, and you didn’t want him to feel like that.

You sat in one of the couches there, where people stayed either waiting for someone or chilling. A while later, you saw a familiar face: Peter was here. You walked towards each other and he kind of opened his arms as you approached. “Hi, Y/N!” He started pulling you into a hug, not too tightly though. At first, you tensed, but then reminded yourself that he won’t hurt you and became a bit more relaxed. You awkwardly hugged him back, not really knowing how to do that. You didn’t let any of your relatives touch you at all, and honestly, you probably hadn’t hugged anyone or been hugged by anyone in around a year, maybe longer.

You leaned into his shoulder and he into yours. You stood there, hugging, for a good ten or twenty seconds before simultaneously letting go. He was beaming.

“What do you want to do?”, you asked him.

“Not sure. We could.. play computer games, though. You know, one of those games like Bad Ice Cream, or that game with the ghost where you have to scare everyone out, or anything like that.”

“Sure!” You both walked towards the lift and soon got to the right floor. You got yourself an extra chair and brought it over to the computer, placing it beside Peter’s chair. You felt like you were back at elementary school, except the computers here and now were better than there and then. And of course, this time no one was laughing at you for playing something, and your only friend wasn’t completely ignoring you for a reason you didn’t know.

After a while, you got a bit bored of the computer games and went back to playing video games, but this time, Peter told you you could put on some of your favourite music, and you did.

You were in the middle of a boss battle when you said you needed some water. Peter paused the game and you went over to the water fountain to drink. You took off your sweater: it was hot because of the excitement of the boss fight, and you wanted to have more movement freedom for the battle, you didn’t want to lose this one.

You came back and put the controller back on your wrist. “I’m ready”, you smiled, quickly scratching your shoulder and looking at Peter. Then you noticed that he had gone pale. Well, more pale. An expression of shock and confusion replaced the happiness you had just seen on his face. 

“What’s up?”, you asked.

He reached out and gently took your arm. You looked, panic taking you over as you realized that you had forgotten about the bruise that was still there. All that was hiding it was gone, your sweater right next to you on the couch, and your stomach turned to knots.

“What happened? Y/N, who did this to you?”

“I..”, you tried to speak, but nothing was coming out. And you couldn’t say that you fell, or that you’re really clumsy, because this bruise was more hand shaped and enveloped that place in a circle. You quickly pulled your arm back and covered the bruise with your other hand.

He looked at you and you immediately looked away.

“It’s nothing. Can we please continue the game?” You asked anxiously, quickly putting your sweater back on.

“No, this is not nothing, Y/N! This is not okay. No one should do this to you. Why would someone..?”, he paused. “Who did this?”, he asked softly.

“I.. It doesn’t matter, it’s okay, I promise, it’s - “, you started, but Peter interrupted.

“Except it does matter, and, and it’s not okay at all.” He looked like he was about to cry, and you felt horrible for that.

You stayed silent for a minute, thinking. “Promise not to tell anyone, okay? I don’t want anyone else to know. Please.” Your hands were slightly shaking, and you put one of them over the other to hide it.

“Hey, I won’t tell anyone, promise. Not without your permission. Please tell me.”

So you told him the truth. You felt too ashamed to look at him, but with his silence, you sensed that he was angry and horrified that someone could do what your mother did to you. This wasn’t the first time she left a bruise though. And it was definitely not the bruise that hurt the most.

“That’s horrible. What kind of mother would do that? Any of this. Y/N, please you gotta tell mister Stark, or someone else here. An adult. They can help. Please. I won’t tell them without your permission, but tell them at some point?”

“Maybe. Not today though. Can we please continue the game? You know.. middle of a boss fight?” You smiled weakly, truing to lighten the mood.

“Sure, but.. can you tell me if something happens, right after it happens? Or just as soon as you can?”

You agreed and he then unpaused the game. In half an hour, you finished what was a particularly hard fight, and you moved on to your next quest. You spent the first half of the day with Peter, the silence being somewhat uncomfortable, but you both had a lot of topics to talk about, and MJ was a recurring one: he had such a massive crush on her, and you were happy for him.

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers x reader fanfic

[i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now]

for my posting schedule, i’ve decided i’ll be posting once every two weeks on Sundays,, sorry about making you wait longer than before, i just need a bit more time for things,,, so, the next fic part will be posted on the 1st of September, and after that, it’ll be the 15th, and so on