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The Crow's Nest | Zoro x Sanji |

Summary: Friends who sometimes cuddle... who are maybe in love

A/N: The setting is pre and post WCI so if you would like to avoid spoiler save this fic for later.

Request: Open

Word count: 8.1k

Leave a comment if you enjoy :)

Two Months Before

The crows nest is quiet, illuminated only by the stars that gleam brightly in the open sky. Zoro can't help but let his mind wander in the deafening silence. Thinking of how he hadn't even realized how willfully he has settled into their routine, how he has become more fond of sleeping on this wooden floor than his bed in the men's quarter. Fears what the implications of such may mean for him in the long run.

"I'm starting to think you're waiting for me mossy." Sanji teases. He wears a boozy smile as he approaches.

Zoro recognizes the red tinge that extends from his cheeks to his ears . A telltale sign that the cook had decided to indulge in the cheap sake he swore tasted of rubbing alcohol.

"You came looking for me!" Zoro retorts.

Zoro can smell the alcohol lingering on the cook when he bends at the waist to meet his face. The sake still wet on his lips, as though he needed one last swig to work up the courage to search for the ex pirate hunter. Sanji reaches his hand out, incidentally grazing Zoro's cheek with his knuckles then flicks his earrings.

"And you're always where I need you. Uh, Marimo?" Sanji whispers.

Zoro does not respond, won't entertain the cook's theatrics when they both know why he came. Instead he grabs Sanji's wrist before he can stand upright then urges the cook to the floor with him. Sanji can't help but give into the swordsman's touch. The sly smile Zoro wears makes it seem as if he knows this too. Sanji sit's between the swordsman's legs, in the most elegant way he can in his inebriated state , then rests his head against Zoro's chest.

"I sleep better when you're here." Zoro confesses.

Not necessarily an admission of guilt, but an answer to Sanji's inquiries nonetheless. Zoro strokes his hand through Sanji's blonde locks. Knows how much the cook loves his hair to be played with. Sanji listens to the soft inhales and exhales of the swordsman's breaths, finding comfort in the way he can feel the marimo's chest rise and fall.

"I missed you... Over these two years." The cook says breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded the two of them.

"Oh, yeah?"

"I don't think a day passed that I didn't think about you."

In spite of Sanji not being able to see him, the swordsman still shifts his gaze to stare at the stars. Zoro feels the second his heart stops as it skips a beat, the heat that threatens to display on his cheeks.

"I missed you too." Zoro confesses. The words fall so softly they threaten to get swept up in the breeze.

Sanji snuggles closer, resting his back further into Zoro's chest. He tightens the hold his arms have around the cook's shoulders in response. He can't help the content grin that settles on his lips. Decides it's the alcohol that has him reminiscing. Thinking of how he had waited two long years to feel this again. At home. Back where he belonged, surrounded by his found family. While the cook laid in his arms drifting in and out of his stupor, Zoro can't help but think how much better it feels than he imagined.

"You're so warm." Sanji mumbles.

"That why you always come searching for me curly?" Zoro whispered teasingly. His lips grazing over his ear softly. "Need the sake to tell me you want me to hold you? Can't ask nicely?..."

"You know I won't turn you away. "

"Fuck you!" Sanji buries his face in the swordsman's chest, Embarrassed to show him just how flustered his words made him. "I-I'm just drunk."

"Right curly." Zoro places a small kiss to the back of his head. "Just drunk."

One Month Before

"You fucking dumbass!" Sanji grumbles shoving his mittened hands underneath his armpit with the intent to warm them. The ice cold air reddens his pale skin despite the beanie and earmuffs he wears. "If you can't make it back why the fuck do you keep wandering off?"

"I could've made it back!" Zoro defends.

"You still couldn't make it back on your own if there wasn't a snow storm!" Sanji snarls.

He is relieved to see the swordsman alive opposed to an ice statue of himself. Although, he wishes the pirate had just an ounce of self awareness to admit that navigation will never be one of his strong suits. When asked how he had planned to find his way back to the sunny Zoro simply states he was going to turn around and walk in the opposite direction. When Sanji tries to explain it isn't that simple, that his tracks had been obscured by the ever present snowfall, Zoro just crosses his arms against his chest mumbling in objection.

"We're still lost!" Zoro grumbles.

The cold wet flurries fall down in blankets coating the parkas they both wear. The snowfall has quickened in pace since Sanji first found Zoro. What had started out as ankle high has grown to the pirates' shins , forcing them to plow through the cold with each step.

"Look dumbass!" Sanji points to what looks to be an inn up ahead. "We'll stop for the night. Hope that some of the snow melts by morning."

Sanji pushes the door to the room open with a deep exhale, feeling relief at having some solace from the blistering cold. Even in the absence of the breeze he feels the need to drag his hands up and down his jacket sleeves to feel the glorious heat of friction. Zoro wastes no time getting comfortable, stripping out his snow covered jacket then draping it on the back of the only chair before going to take off his boots.

"There's only one bed." Sanji announces as though he has just taken notice.

Zoro can't help the crooked smirk that appears consequently . There's a chuckle that threatens to morph into a full blown laugh stuck in his throat, but the swordsman swallows it when he sees the genuine stress the situation has brought the cook.

"What? Now we can't sleep together?" Zoro retorts.

The red tinge the cold has left on Sanji's face deepens to more of a crimson. His eyes dart around the room looking for something to settle on that wasn't Zoro and his intense stare.

The itty bitty room doesn't leave many options. Besides the lone cushioned antique chair Zoro was leaning against, the only other furniture that remained was: the bed centered on the wall to his left, a night stand beside it with a lamp, and a dark patterned rug beneath his feet. Sanji chooses the tattered rug.

He is almost surprised at the way his chest clenches at Zoro's words. The physical reaction at the mere implication of those habitual nights where he would drunkenly seek out the swordsman's comfort with only the stars as witnesses. When he would revel in how warm Marimo's body was against his and shelter in the safety he found cradled in his arms. The nights that never found their way to daybreak.

"It's- this is different." Sanji insists.

"Would you like me to get you a bottle of sake to make it easier?"

Zoro's lips curl into a smile that almost fools the cook into believing it's a sincere question. For a moment he considers the offer. Thinks the burn of the alcohol may mask the burn of his cheeks, but quickly dismisses the thought of allowing the swordsman anywhere near the snow unaccompanied.

Zoro allows the question to dissipate into the air when the cook doesn't answer. Decides crawling under the warmth of the covers was better than standing here arguing about a decision that in his mind had already been made.

"Y- You really don't mind?" Sanji asks.

"Cook." Zoro pushes his palm into the mattress, and extends his arm to lift his torso before glancing over at Sanji. "Get in the bed."

Sanji begins to unzip his jacket and allows it to rest alongside Zoro's on the dusty chair. A chill runs down his spine when he removes the beanie and earmuffs reminding him of just how much he despised the cold. With another rub up and down his shoulders Sanji approaches the bed and hesitantly lays beside the swordsman. Zoro takes this as a cue to turn off the bedside lamp that illuminated the room allowing the dark to engulf them.

Sanji tosses and turns in the hotel sheets, can't seem to get comfortable with this chill still in the air. He tries to be still, doesn't want to disturb the marimo next to him, but even now as he rubbed his ice cold feet together pulling the blankets tight to his chin, there was no relief.

"Are you cold?" Zoro finally asks the fidgety cook.

Sanji takes a moment to reply, trying to decipher if his restlessness had in fact come from the chill in the air or if it could be his proximity to the green haired pirate.

"Yeah."

Sanji can feel the mattress shift beneath him as Zoro rolls over to wrap his arm around him, drawing him into his chest before letting a sigh fall from his lips onto the back of Sanji's neck. The cook thinks it almost sounds like relief, but tries not to think much of it. Just thankful to have his added warmth to protect him from the cold.

"I- is this okay?" Zoro whispers. "it's just- you always say I'm warm."

The vibration of his voice reverberated through every bone in the cook's body. There's an uncertainty to the swordsman's whispers making him speak so gentle and sweet, a cadence Black Leg has never heard before. It leaves him wondering what he would have to do to hear the swordsman talk to him like this every night.

"Yeah." Sanji rests his hand on top of the swordsman's, trying to resist the urge to face him. To stop himself from burying his head in the space where Zoro's shoulder meets his neck and resting there for the night.

"This is okay."

Two Weeks Before

The sound of Brook's violin fills the open air, the Strawhats' singing carries their joyful cheers. Zoro can hear them from the crow's nest. He laughs at Luffy being the loudest when he clearly didn't know many of the words . The first mate is a little surprised that the sound of Nami telling the captain to shut up hasn't followed suit. He blames the copious amounts of alcohol flowing on the deck for her sudden tolerance.

Zoro hears the footsteps as they approach. Knows who's coming by the way they clack against the wood. The cook. He stands in the doorway with a tipsy grin. A cigarette hangs loosely in his mouth. He stops as though he is waiting for Zoro to invite him in. As if he doesn't want to intrude or interrupt. A politeness that seemed to only wake in the lonely hours of the night.

"Smoke break?" Zoro asks, giving the cook the permission he is so desperate for.

Sanji walks in stopping at the end of the marimo's sprawled legs. His silence forces the swordsman to open his eye to greet him. The cook has a hand behind his back . A sheepish smile adorns his face as he hesitantly rubs the back of his neck .

"I was looking for you."

Zoro frees his hands from behind his head to scoot up right against the wall. A bit suspicious of what the blonde may have hidden. Sanji takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself, then extends out his hand. A white box stares back at the swordsman. It takes him a moment to grasp it from Sanji, isn't quite sure if the gift is genuinely his or not. Inside the box was a couple bow tied bottles of sake, onigiri , and polish for his precious swords.

When Zoro's eye meets Sanji, the cook tries to discern the expression on his face. Isn't sure if it's bliss or disappointment that lingers in his eye. Then a crooked smile falls on Zoro's lips.

"You did all this for me?"

"Yeah, you always help me with groceries, it's a thank you."

Zoro hums, accepting the cook's explanation for now. He takes out a bottle of Sake and pops the cap off to take a chug. The crooked smirk he wears is a full smile when he feels how easily the liquor slides down his throat. The cook had splurged for the good sake, sick of the cheap crap he swears Zoro is too fond of. He uses the back of his hand to wipe the excess from his lips before extending the bottle out to Sanji, urging him to take a drink. When Black Leg grants his request Zoro clasps his wrist before he has an opportunity to draw it back.

"Stay with me."

Sanji's eyes soften as he melted into the swordsman's touch, like he has done every time. The cook complies with his orders, taking a seat beside Zoro. He then brings the bottle to his lips taking a swing, revels in the good pick he's made.

"No more cheap shit?" Zoro jokes noticing the blonde doesn't wince at the burn.

"God Marimo, it was time you elevate your taste."

Sanji passes the bottle back to Zoro. He notes the deep blush that's bloomed on the blonde's face. It's Zoro's turn to let out a boisterous laugh.

"How about you elevate your tolerance."

"I'm not a lightweight!" Sanji protest in return. Regardless of never having beat the allegations from any of his other crewmates. Zoro gives a complacent hum nudging Sanji to pass him the bottle.

The swordsman wraps his arms around the cook's shoulders to draw him closer. Sanji rests his head against Zoro's shoulder in response. The room has fallen quiet, only the sounds of their breaths can be heard. Zoro inches his hand over to rest on top of Sanji's, squeezing softly at the warmth of his skin against him. the swordsman is holding out. Waiting to see if the cook will ask the question one of them has to.

Sanji takes a big gulp from the bottle before passing it back to Zoro. His eyes shut close as if what he will do next might physically hurt him.

"Can I... Sit in your lap?" The cook whispers.

A smile graces Zoro's lips. He understands what the chef is asking, assumes that these words come easier than the ones he had expected.

"You know I won't turn you away. "

Sanji doesn't respond, just moves to position himself so he could lay comfortably in the swordsman's lap. Zoro wraps his arms around him, caressing his thumb along Sanji's arms. The cook lays staring up at him adoringly. Sanji reaches his hand out to rub the side of Zoro's face. When the ex pirate hunter looks down to meet his gaze , the cook looks away.

"Hey, curly." Zoro taps Sanji's cheek lightly to bring his eyes to him. "This gift wouldn't have anything to do with what I said at dinner a few nights ago, would it?"

"I already told you what it was for." Sanji scoffs.

"Yeah, yeah you did." Zoro chuckles. "Now I'm asking if you lied to me."

Laughs spilled from the galley out onto the deck of the sunny before dissolving into the breeze of the night. The Strawhats gather at the kitchen table , unable to pull themselves from the dinner conversation that had stretched way past the evening .

It had started when one of Robin's stories stumbled upon the mention of an ex. One who had bought her many of the lavish items she owned now. The crew had gone around the table, each sharing the best gifts they've received from a romantic partner.

"What about you Zoro?" Robin asked "What's the best gift you've ever gotten from a partner?"

Eyes fell on the swordsman expectantly. Zoro shrugged bringing the ale filled glass to his lips to take a drink. The silence answered for him.

"You've never been gifted anything?" Sanji asked with a mirthful smile plastered on his face.

Zoro felt the eyes more intently than he did before. Acutely aware everyone was awaiting his answer. The air suddenly felt warm against his clammy skin. His eyes glanced about deciding if he should be honest or not.

Zoro wasn't ashamed of his romantic inexperience . Didn't believe his lack of relationship history spoke to anything remotely relevant. He had been far too focused on his dream to get caught up in something so trivial as a relationship. But with the shit cook staring back at him- Zoro could already imagine the teasing he'd hear.

"They're isn't anyone in my past that I'd consider a partner." He answered truthfully.

His crewmates lingered on him, deciding if they'll accept his answer. Prior to coming to a consensus ,Sanji's head tilted back and he let out a boisterous laugh. The sound like screeching on a chalkboard to Zoro's ears.

"Damn Mosshead, don't tell me we're the only ones willing to put up with you."

"Curly..."

"Fine , fuck!" Sanji lets out an exasperated sigh. "I- I like the idea of being one of your firsts."

The confession makes Zoro's heart clench in a way he's unfamiliar with. He knows it is the liquor that coaxes the cook's confession but he also knows its truths that spill from his lips. Zoro doesn't know how to catch himself before he's leaning down. The instinctual movement of his body overrules his mind's objections. He is astonished to see the cook leaning forward to meet him, their lips crashing into each other.

Sanji clings fervidly to the swordsman's chest. An attempt to stabilize himself, dare the marimo consume him whole. Zoro kisses him as though his life depends on it. Searches for his breaths in the cook's lungs like he'd die in this moment where the two to separate. He cups the blonde's cheeks, not wanting to allow him an escape. won't let the end come before he's satiated his appetite.

"You can have all the firsts I have left to give." Zoro mumbles against his lips. There's a string of saliva that keeps them connected when they part. Zoro places his forehead against the cook's, smiling innocently.

"You know what that means right?" He asks. "You're mine now."

One week After

Nami wraps her arms fervently around Luffy's neck. He has no time to catch himself, brace, before they both crash to the ground. She cradles her head where the captain's shoulder meets his neck. Trying to hide her face from the rest of her crewmates. The sound of her cries reach their ears before her voice.

"I'm sorry." She clenches her eyes shut. "Sanji- he's gone."

The forest that was previously filled with cheers, only houses the sobs of the navigator. She gives Luffy one last tight squeeze, a silent plea, before she sits back on her heels to face her captain. Nami tries to use the back of her hands to stop her tears. Wiping at her face to no avail. The crew is silent. Knocked of the breath they would've used to gasp. The sounds of the doctor's cries come next as he begins to speak.

"We couldn't stop him." He sobs. "Luffy we're so sorry."

Zoro's heart threatens to rip free from his chest the way it thumps so violently. Sweat starts to bead at his brow while his hands get clammy. Gone? The cook? Zoro refused to believe it. Not when the two of them stand before him unharmed. There's a scowl involuntarily placed on his face, though the first mate doesn't do much to hide it.

"What do you mean?" Robin is the first to break the uncomfortable silence. "Nami, we need the details."

The navigator cries her way through the past eleven days on Zou. Ends with the circumstances of The cook's departure. Told how they implored Sanji to stay. Told him he didn't have to do it alone. But the cook was insistent it was his burden to bear. They looked at Luffy with broken eyes that spoke their apologies.

"I begged him not to leave us." Nami weeps. "Im s-"

"It's not your fault." Luffy pulls the navigator into his chest to reassure her. "I'm not disappointed."

When the two separate, the minks offer a private area to allow the newcomers to settle in. After excusing themselves from what seems to be an emotional reunion. Once in the privacy of the wooden walls Luffy inquires about the note, wants to read the words for himself.

I've gotta go see a woman. I'll be back'

Luffy hands the paper back to his navigator, having seen enough. Zoro snatches the note from Nami's hands before she has the opportunity to offer it. The paper trembles nervously between his fingers as if it's afraid of how the swordsman will react to its contents. Two sentences- Two. All the explanation he felt the crew was worthy of - That Zoro was worthy of. The intrusive thoughts force Zoro's hand before he has the chance to corral them. He crumples the paper to a ball and drops it to the floor.

"He said he's coming back." Frank says , although it comes out as more of a question. Looking to see if his words will assuage the grief his crewmates feel.

"He's not coming back." Zoro announces before walking out the door. Letting It slam close behind him. He can feel the rage swell in his chest, threatening to pop with the fragility of a water balloon. They had begged him to share what he had been told, tearful and desperate. Passionately pleading to help him. The cook chose to walk away. Not even Nami's tearful eyes swaying his decision.

"Are you okay?" Nami approaches cautiously with Luffy trailing behind her.

"He has a job on this crew and he fucking abandoned us!'

"We're going to get him back." Luffy chimes in, a reassuring grin rests on his lips.

"Fucking leave him." Zoro mutters. He plops on the forest floor allowing his back to rest against the tree behind him. "He can go. I don't care."

"No?" Nami holds up the crinkled ball that was formerly Sanji's note.

Zoro's gaze briefly lingers on the paper in her hand, before he shuts his eyes. His arms cross against his chest. He tucks his swords close to his side then turns his head forward. Nami huffs at his complete dismissal of her disguised as him feigning sleep. She drops the note to the floor rolling her eyes as she walks away.

"I know you're worried about him, you don't mean that." Luffy teases. The mirth in his tone deepens the frown on Zoro's face.

The captain knows nothing of what has transpired between his cook and his swordsman. Has no idea of the relationship they share outside of him. However, He does know that Zoro cares about Sanji. Despite his protests. So he would allow Zoro to wallow, feel his feelings under the guise of sleep. With that Luffy walks away.

Dark has fallen, and the marimo has yet to move. Still laid against the tree outside their private residence. Arms behind his head with his legs extended out in front of him. Usopp and Luffy have both come to urge the swordsman to come join them at the fest. Spoke of the generous display the minks have laid out for them in hopes to sway him. Said there's enough liquor for the swordsman to drink his weight in sake. He does not leave. The idea of celebrating while Sanji was going through god knows makes him nauseous.

"Still not sleeping?" Robin asks.

"Hard to fall asleep when I keep getting interrupted."

"My apologies." She giggles. "I just came to bring you these."

The swordsman opens his eye to finally address his crewmate. Her blossomed arms carry barrels of sake . She wears an innocent smile on her face , but Zoro sees the grief behind her eyes. Understands it's the heartache that has motivated her actions. She drops the barrels alongside the pirate then gives him a wave goodbye.

The first sip burns wonderfully down his throat. Relaxes his shoulders, though he didn't know he was tensing them. He wishes it would settle his thoughts in the same way. Stop the montage of the nights he and the cook shared cuddling in the crow's nest. The sweet words Sanji would let besottedly fall from his lips when only Zoro could hear. They all haunt him so vividly.

Zoro wonders what memories may accompany the name the cook has never spoken- what about "Vinsmoke" made Sanji so secretive. Made him so willing to abandon him. The thought plagues Zoro's heart. The cook is out there going through this alone, when Zoro would've stood by his side raging the storm with him. He wants to consider the pain Sanji must be feeling having had to walk away from his friends so abruptly, but all Zoro's body gives him is rage. That shitty cook. He never had to do it alone. Why couldn't he wait for him?

Three Weeks After

Sanji forgot how just the sight of his kitchen could bring his heart so much comfort. Likens the feeling to his return to Sabaody, though he had much rather be returning from Momoiro island than his obligatory family reunion. While he glides his knife against the chopping board, preparing for tomorrow's breakfast, the cook can't help but stare at the banded indentations on his wrist. A parting gift from the Vinsmokes. He swallows hard, squeezing his eyes closed as if forcefully pushing the memories of the gold bands from his brain.

"Straight to work your first night back cook?" Robin asked as she walks into the galley. Two books tucked under her arm as she retreats from the deck.

"Having a captain like Luffy doesn't leave much of a choice." The cook chuckles.

"Nonetheless, it's good to see you where you belong- Oh."

Robin's eyebrows raise to her temples. She reaches for one of the books beneath her arm then sprawls it open on the counter for Sanji to see. The book has a large rectangular sized cavity in the center, bordered by jagged edges from the roughly hollowed out paper. The cavity houses a bottle of booze. Sanji recognizes the green bow that's tied around its neck. the bow he had tied around the neck.

Sanji looks up at the archeologist through his hair, fearful of what his expression may give away if he were to address her head on. Still Robin wears a sincere smile, her eyes free of any ill will or malevolence.

"Apparently the swordsman has hid booze all over the Sunny, I found this in the library." She slides the book toward Sanji before continuing. "Maybe you could return this to him for me."

"W-why would you assume I know where that dumbass Moss Ball is?"

"Well, Don't you?"

Sanji doesn't have to look in the mirror to see the blush that has bloomed on his face. His accelerated heart rate plus the sweatiness of his armpits are indicators enough of his embarrassment. Robin flashes the cook one last smile before turning on her heels to exit the kitchen. Sanji stares at the Sake bottle. Dares to open it and take a few sips just to settle his nerves. In the end the cook decides against it. Doesn't have the heart to sully a gift he bought for the swordsman. Instead he grasps the bottle by the neck, a heavy sigh falling from his lips then departs the galley.

When Sanji reaches the Crow's nest the pirate is exactly where he thought he would be. Back leaned against the wall, staring into the stars of the night sky. The cook is hesitant to walk in, doesn't know how to face the swordsman after the way he left.

"Cook." Zoro calls out.

He can sense the lingering presence of the chef outside the door. Usually the swordsman would allow him to simmer, wait and build the courage on his own to enter but Zoro had waited two long weeks to lay eyes on the cook. He would not wait any longer.

Sanji saunters in with the bottle in hand. His expression rid of any hesitation he may have had earlier. The sight of The mosshead waiting for him makes it impossible to contain his crooked grin. There was a moment where Sanji thought he'd never feel this again. Safe. Desired. Wanted. All the things the swordsman made him feel so effortlessly.

"Robin found something of yours." Sanji taunts.

Zoro doesn't waste time with their usual back and forth. Doesn't feign ignorance acting as if he wasn't sitting there waiting for the cook to seek him out. Waiting to accept whatever excuse he had conjured for his visit.

Zoro grasps Sanji's wrist before he can offer him the bottle. Pulls him forward until he bends at the waist to meet Zoro's face. The swordsman leans in to passionately place a kiss to Sanji lips, tangling his free hand in the blonde's strands fervently. The green haired pirate's grasp is tight on the cook, fearful he would run off again were he to let go. A silent ask to never leave him again.

When Zoro finally pulls away the chef inhales deeply. Attempting to fill his lungs of the air the swordsman has stripped him off. Doesn't know what to say now that he doesn't have the booze to grease his tongue. Sober mind fails him as he draws a blank.

"I'm so fucking pissed at you." Zoro whispers. His hold on the cook keeps him close enough to feel the breath of his words fall onto his cheeks. The chef tenses. "...But that can wait til the sun comes up."

Zoro draws the cook in for another kiss.

"I missed you."

Sanji has to blink back the tears that threaten to swell in his eyes. Part of him feels as though he doesn't deserve how tinderly the swordsman is handling him. how softly the words fall from his lips. Another part, a bigger part, revels in the warm welcome. Swells at the words of endearment, loved hearing that the marimo was happy to see him.

Sanji doesn't ask the swordsman permission, or wait for him to pull him down before he sits in between his legs. Zoro instinctively wraps his arm around Sanji's shoulder, his hold tighter than usual.

"You'll open that for me?" Zoro tilts his chin toward the bottle still tight in Sanji's grasp.

"Why did you keep the bow on?" Sanji asks as he pops the top off. "Especially if you were gonna hide it in the library, dumbass!"

"Why would I take it off?" Zoro's brows furrow into a frown. "You gave it to me like this."

Stated so simply like the cook should've come to the conclusion himself. Sanji can't help the chuckle that falls from his lips, in spite of his intention to scold the pirate. Then a thought dawns.

"Are the other bottles hidden too?"

Zoro doesn't answer, just takes a large gulp from the bottle .

Five weeks Later

"Do you think he's okay?" Usopp whispers to the navigator. They sit at the table, eyeing Sanji as he plates the food on the kitchen counter. She narrows her eyes to concentrate her focus on the seemingly normal cook.

"I don't know... This is the fifth big meal he's made in two weeks. Think he's stress cooking?" Nami responds.

"Well, that would explain why he spends every waking moment in here now." Usopp brings his hand to his chin, making a show of stroking it in thought. "You th-"

"He's fine." Zoro snaps before Usopp has the opportunity to continue.

The pair cease their gossiping, turning their tight lips toward the swordsman to display their disapproval of his tone. He cares none about hurting their feelings, is more concerned with their observations. If the cook's odd behavior has already begun to catch the eye of the others, he is worse off than Zoro had initially thought.

"Shrimp tempura!" Sanji announces replacing the empty platter on the table with the fresh one. Luffy lets out an excited squeal moving quickly to snatch the food as if someone is competing with him for it.

"This is so good Sanji!" The captain praises with a full mouth. "It's so good to have you back!"

"It really is Sanji. You've been feeding us so well since you've returned." Robin adds.

The others chime in with a chorus of complements. Sanji wears a shy grin on his lips.

"It's nothing guys, really. I'm glad you all are enjoying the food."

The cook shoves the sleeves of his blue button up to his elbows, preparing to face the hoard of dishes that remained from dinner.

"Do you want help?"

The swordsman grabs the clean dish towel off the counter, and stands to the left of the cook. Sanji passes over the freshly cleaned plate in response. For a short time the two work in silence. Slowly, but diligently chipping away at the pile. Regardless of the serenity, the green haired pirate's concern hangs in the air.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Sanji sighs.

Zoro gives a soft nod at his answer. The exact same answer he'd gotten the first time he asked the chef... and the second. Zoro doesn't mean to badger him, but he is watching how not fine the cook is with every passing day.

"The others think that you're stress cooking." Zoro states plainly. Though it's brief, He notes the way the cook's hands tense at his words before continuing to scrub away at the pot.

"I know that I've put you guys through a lot. I'm sorry about how you all had to find out about my family. Really, I'm sorry. " Sanji glances over with a crooked smile on his face. "But you guys don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm back. I'm fine."

Zoro takes the pot that Sanji hands over to him, the final of the pile.

"I have a bottle of sake... if you want to share." Zoro invites. The words are so gentle they risk not making it to the cook's ears. Zoro reaches for his hand, an attempt to draw him close, but Sanji pulls away before he has the opportunity. Fetching a dry towel for his wet hands to disguise the rejection.

"I think I'm going to call it a night." the cook declines.

Zoro can only identify the burning crushing feeling in his chest as anger. Maybe doesn't want to admit it's embarrassment. Despite the name, the pain stings the swordsman all the same. He takes a step back allowing space between the two of them. Waiting for Sanji to say something.

It is like the cook is frozen in time. Cowering in place. Speechless, not even able to meet the swordsman gaze.

Wordlessly, Zoro leaves to head to the crows nest.

Later that night, when Sanji pushes through the galley door he is surprised to see his kitchen already illuminated. Immediately gets a sinking filling that Luffy has tried to ravage the fridge again. Hopes that his captain hasn't settled on the pantry after releasing the cook has changed the password to the padlock... again.

Upon investigation he finds the swordsman laid across the couch , bow tied sake in hand, with his leg crossed over his bent knee.

"It's the middle of the night, shouldn't you be in your coveted crow's nest?"

"You want me to leave?" Zoro asks sarcastically, as if he was actually going to offer the cook a choice. Although Sanji ignores him, he continues to speak.

"You can't sleep."

It's not posed as a question. Does not linger to see if the cook will confirm or deny. It is fact as Zoro speaks it.

"You're watching me sleep now Mosshead?" Sanji lets out a dismissive laugh. "I'm fine."

Zoro narrows his eye at the cook then turns to stare up at the ceiling taking another swig of his sake. Sanji reaches for the cookbook on top of the fridge and begins to aimlessly flip through the pages.

Aside from Sanji's first night back, the two have not shared any more nights in the crow's nest. Instead Sanji lays in his single bed in the men's quarters. This Zoro could tolerate. If the cook had begun to favor his bed to the wooden floor in the crow's nest , Zoro could tolerate that. If there wasn't going to be any more drunken confessions, no more besottedly exchanged touches, or nights that turned into day too soon- The swordsman could tolerate that, but what he could not tolerate was watching how the cook deteriorates in front of him.

Zoro could hear how he tossed and turned throughout the night, till his muffled cries or light tremors woke him up.

The swordsman wonders what demons may haunt the cook's dreams, what kind of monster could send the cook into such a state of fear. Wants to show the cook that monsters can be slain, that he had earned the title of demon hunter for a reason.

"Are you having nightmares?" Zoro asks. "Is that why you can't sleep?"

"I know your ears work dumbass, didn't I just say I'm fine." Sanji barks.

Zoro sits up from his laid position. Using his forearm to wipe away the excess alcohol from his lips. He watches as Sanji aimlessly flips through the weathered pages. His hair has fallen in his face shielding his eyes from the swordsman.

"You're really not going to tell me anything..."

"Drop it Marimo!"

"Drop it-" Zoro sucks in through his teeth. "You're cooking all this food to just not eat yourself. You won't hang out with us, it's like you're always hiding in the kitchen... you won't even let me touch you!"

Sanji has to hold his body firm so as not to wince at the words Zoro tries incredibly hard not to shout at him. He can see it in his eye, Zoro's patience was thinning with each tug on his heart strings.

"Sanji..." Zoro pleads. His expression was stern, unwavering, desperate as he stared at the cook.

"I know I put you through a lot. I'm sorry about how you had to found out about my family, but you don-"

Zoro can't stop himself. The rage of hearing the cook mutter the same apology for the fourth time clouds his thoughts. The bottle he has clasped in his hands is flying through the air. It hits the wall with a loud crash before exploding into a million tiny pieces. There is a gaping hole Franky will have to repair in the morning.

"I don't give a fuck about that Sanji! The name Vinsmoke means nothing on this ship! " The swordsman has no restraint left to keep himself from yelling. "And don't you dare fucking say we don't have to worry about you."

Zoro sees the way Sanji flinches at his words. Notes how the cook retreats further away from him. His eyes glued to the floor as if the pirate would turn him to stone if they met. Zoro takes a deep breath running his right hand down his face. Guilt quickly replacing the rage he felt.

"I want to let you have your secrets Sanji. I really do." Zoro woefully professed. "But- why can you only trust me in the crows nest?"

"A few drunken nights don't make me your responsibility!"

"A few drunken nights?" Zoro repeats the words to be sure he heard them correctly. Wills the cook to correct him with imploring eyes.

"That's what I am to you? A few drunken nights."

In this moment, Zoro wants nothing more than to be able to say he couldn't have cared less about the marriage the cook was previously being forced into. Say that he was unmoved by Sanji's two sentence goodbye letter. That the cook's sudden disappearance hadn't completely disrupted his life in Zou. But no amount of lies could stop the grueling heat that starts to eat its way up his skin at the silence.

Zoro doesn't want to be angry, or hurt but as he stares at Sanji who can't even glance his way, that's all that he felt.

Six Weeks After

Something is off. Everyone could feel it. The uncomfortable air that envelops the sunny grows thicker day by day. A tension so pliable it could be cut with a butter knife.

Regardless of the sun that shines bright in the clear skies, Robin and Nami are the only two brave enough to take refuge on the deck. Zoro had isolated himself in the crow's nest with the excuse of an extensive training regime, spitting venom at those who dared to interrupt him. Sanji had found himself shrouded in the kitchen, frustratedly prepping for the day's meals. The others had dispersed amongst the ship trying their best to steer clear of the rivals. Fearing they too would get swept up in their clandestine conflict.

"Do you think they'll talk ?" Robin asks as She glances over at the navigator who sat in the chaise lounger beside her.

Nami is peering above the brim of her book ever so slightly to watch the swordsman approach the galley now that he has finally decided to leave the crows nest. She wonders, as the cook exits the kitchen, if this will be the moment that cracks their façade. Before she has an opportunity to relay her thoughts to Robin the chef collides with the swordsman.

Zoro stares at Sanji as if he is waiting for him to speak first. Like he is searching for an apology sufficient enough for more than an accidental bump. The cook takes a step back to create distance between them and no words leave his mouth. Zoro gives a disgruntled huff in response, not giving Sanji a second glance as he walks around him wordlessly. The cook looks back to get a glimpse of Zoro's shrinking figure then continues out the door rifling through his jacket pocket for a smoke.

Nami scoffed at the display, setting the book face down on the shared patio table. She drew in a sharp breath bringing her fingertips to pinch her nose at the bridge.

"They aren't even arguing..." She sighs.

"Well surely something must change. Even the captain is starting to notice." Robin warns.

It has almost been over a month since Sanji has returned to them. A month since he boarded the sunny and was met with gleeful smiles and heavy hearts. Even the swordsman had welcomed his return, but a different Sanji came home to them. Their vulnerable love sick cook was gone, and with him was his hidden affection for the swordsman.

Sanji glances back as the galley door opens. Luffy. The cook rolls his eyes then goes back to tending to his pots on the stove. He waits to hear the hunger pained whines of his captain asking when dinner is going to be ready. There is nothing. Instead Luffy stands beside him mindlessly staring into his skull.

"What?!" Sanji snaps.

"What's going on with you and Zoro?" Luffy asks bluntly, never one to have a skill for tact.

Sanji can feel the cascade of warmth beginning to spread across his skin at Luffy's interrogation. At the swordsman's mention. He brings the spoon to his lips to taste the broth, an attempt to buy time as his mind races as to what to tell his captain. Sanji had not wanted to lie to Luffy, saying that nothing was going on when the whole crew had been subjected to the consequences of his actions yet again. But there was no way the captain could grasp how loaded of a question he was asking. Sanji wasn't even sure he had an honest answer for Luffy.

"The dumbass is just mad. He'll get over it... We'll get over it." Sanji reassures, flashing a small smile as emphasis.

He hopes speaking the words aloud will manifest their existence. That there is a day in the future that the soft affection the swordsman's eye used to hold for him will return. That sweet words will yet again flow from Zoro's now venom coated voice. That Zoro will one day find it in his heart to forgive him.

Luffy looks unconvinced as he stares back at Sanji. His face displays neither a smile nor a frown . His brows neither raised nor furrowed. He just stares intently.

"Does it have to do with why there was a hole in the wall?"

"...yeah"

Sanji looks back, the evidence of him and Zoro's skirmish erased by the handy work of their shipwright.

"I need both of you to be king of the pirates."

Sanji nods understandingly. An order not a request to fix his transgressions against the swordsman. An order the cook does not know how or if he can fulfill.

Zoro's back is turned when the cook walks into the crows nest. The swordsman is staring out at the sea, watching how violently the waves crash into the sides of the ship as it storms. Zoro knows he is there, the smell of cigarette smoke always fills the air whenever the chef is near.

"What?" Zoro asks. There is no malice in his tone but the hidden affection that used to coat his words is gone.

"You want to know what happened... What they did to me?" Sanji asks.

There's a waiver in his voice Zoro doesn't recognize. He turns to face the cook, sees the tears that are swelling in his broken eyes. The shake in his voice the threat of succumbing to tears.

"You want to hear how Judge threw me in a cage with an iron mask over my face? How my siblings would come down to beat the shit out of me?" In spite of his efforts Sanji's tears stream down his cheeks. "How I'm the embarrassment of the Vinsmoke family? Too weak- A failure- Good for nothing, worthl-"

Zoro had started to stalk toward Sanji the moment tears coated his cheeks. The distance between them closed in time to prevent any more blasphemous words from falling from the cook's lips. Zoro pinches Sanji's cheeks tightly between his fingers, forcing his gaze to him.

"You are not worthless! You are not an embarrassment, weak, or a failure! " Zoro growls. The green haired pirate's brows furrow tightly toward the center of his face. " You were a kid who needed protecting! They should've protected you!"

Sanji looks at Zoro wide eyed, his curly brows raised to his temples. His eye scatters the pirate's face, as if searching for something hidden in his expression. Seemingly shocked that he can't find what he is looking for.

"I'm not asking you to relive old memories, Sanji. You don't have to rip open healed wounds to prove to me your bleeding. I know you aren't okay." Zoro drops his hands from the cook's cheeks to intertwine their fingers, drawing Sanji in until their chests meet each other. "...Let me protect you."

Zoro gives the cook's hand a tight squeeze before releasing his grasp to wrap his arms around Sanji's shoulders. Sanji holds him in return, wrapping around the ex bounty hunter's torso. Once Zoro feels the cook relax into his touch he lets out a sigh of relief. Didn't think he had it in him to get rejected by the man again.

"Sanji..." Zoro whispers. "I'm sorry that people made you feel like you don't matter, like you aren't special, when you are the reason the sun rises in the morning and the moon shines at night."

Sanji nestles his head into the swordsman's chest, shielding his face from view. Zoro can feel the moment his demeanor shifts, the second his armor crumbles down around him. Sanji clings fervidly to Marimo's chest and weeps. His sobs are quiet, reserved only for the ears of the first mate.

"I see them every time I close my eyes." The cook mumbles. "It's dark, cold. I'm all alone."

Zoro rests his cheek on top of the cook's head. Whispers a hushed "Shh" at his statements.

"You aren't alone. I'm right here."

Once Sanji's tears have slowed, and his breath has returned to his lungs he pulls slightly from the swordsman. He snakes a hand around the nape of Zoro's neck to draw him closer. Wants to be sure the swordsman can hear the next words to come out his mouth.

"I'm so sorry Zoro. You mean so much more to me than a few drunken nights." Sanji leans in to press his lips against Zoro's. "I love you... Please- don't leave me."

Sanji looks up to meet Zoro's gaze. His expression riddles with the affection the cook had longed to see again. the swordsman's lips upturned into a heartfelt smile

"I wouldn't dream of it curly." Zoro whispers, he pulls at Sanji to bring him in again. "I love you too."

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a like and a comment if you did I'm actually begging lmao.

Also as I am aware many of you know, there is a genocide in Palestine right now, and many are fervidly trying to flee to safety. Families are trying to come up with $5,000+ per person just so they won't be killed. If you enjoyed this fic and are able I ask that check out any ways you can help:

Donate to Families (2)

Alaloul Family

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