idontwannabeloved

[idontwannabeloved]

Chapter 1

I may only be 22 but the last 10 years of my life have shown me the true pain that can be felt despite having a great life from the eyes of an on-looker.  I’ve dealt with mental health issues for the greater part of the last decade.  I can’t believe some people are lucky enough to never have ideas like these cross their mind.  Everyday I have the internal debate of why I am still here, for what purpose, for who’s benefit.  It has been difficult and even that is an understatement.  I constantly feel lost and as if I don’t belong and that is nobodies fault I simply don’t think this world is meant for me.  I know I share this feeling with so many but sometimes the weight becomes too unbearable and the only thing that brings my mind peace is the belief that one day, soon, I’ll no longer deal with it because I will no longer be here.  I wish that it could be different but that seems like the only viable choice at this point,

[idontwannabeloved]

Prelude

I don’t have a ton of time left.  I will be gone within the next year and I’m creating this tumblr as an archive of my thoughts through the last year of my life.  I steadfastly choose to remain anonymous in the hopes that if anyone I am acquainted with finds this blog they cannot link it to me. 

#help #what is happening #who am i #forgiveme