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insecxreasalwqys · 1 year

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my heart, will never feel, will never see, will never know. oh, heart, and then it falls, and then i fall, and then i know. (wip)

Hi. So uhm, i havent been on here for a while, and i don’t think i will be going on here anymore. I know theres probably no more than 3 people reading this, but thats okay. This is probably my last post on here. Thank you to everyone who has read my stuff. I really appreciate it. I enjoyed writing stuff. I just think that im not so interested in alice in borderland anymore. Thank you @thee-yunatic-pixie for helping me, and i am so grateful. So, yeah. Here’s the last thing i wrote, and i hope its not too bad. I hope you can look back at my first post, and look here, as it is my last, and think i improved. I didnt check the spelling, or grammar, or really anything related to it, but it hope you can understand the events, and stuff. This is also a wip, so uh thats why it sounds kinda unfinished?

“I’m envious of you.” Chishiya said. And, right there, Chishiya felt the thing he hated the most. And that, that thing, was disappointment. During the game, his expression was very condescending. Very prideful. However, that and his smirk fell with the acid. He always knew. Of course he did. He always knew that whenever he manipulated people into sacrificing themselves for him, their death wouldn’t hold significance (?). Chishiya would just go on and live his life, not acknowledging them at all. Yet, never once, did he feel disappointed in himself in doing so. It was not until now. Whether it was because Kuzuryuu accepted it, or just because, it felt different. As Chishiya got up, and began to walk away, he paused. He looked back at the table, his eyes landing on the seat across from his. The seat which the man he was talking to just minutes ago had sat. And, for the first time, Chishiya felt a sharp jab of remorse; of empathy pierce through his chest.

Even before Kuzuryuu sacrificed himself, Chishiya saw people do selfless things left, and right, yet, Chishiya never could wrap his head around why. Why would you help somebody who never helped you? And, even if they did, shouldn’t it always be yourself before others?

Chishiya sat there for hours, physically idle. Yet, his mind was quite the opposite. He was trying to figure out what his problem was. If so many people were kind-hearted, and selfless, then the only logical explanation, would be that it was something to do with him. And so, the boy did not allow his mind to rest. Not for a second. Not even when the rain began to fall.

Every day, Chishiya would walk by his dad’s room, taking a quick glance. However, he saw the same thing, over, and over again. He would be facing that computer of his, with books piled around him. The only time it was different, was when the room was empty. Even when his dad was in there, it felt not much different than when it was empty.

Usually, Chishiya would have stopped thinking about it here, but this time, he did not allow himself to. He then realized that the problem was not rooted in his past, but rather, in his, for lack of a better word, morals. He figured many people had been through the same thing, and worse, but did not act the way Chishiya did.

See, Chishiya’s morals were: Nobody cared about me, so I’m not going to care about anybody. Including myself.

But for the other people who decided to act differently, their morals were: Nobody cared about me, so I’m going to care about everybody.

And, with that, he got up, once again, and took a walk. Chishiya decided from that point, that he would try a little harder. And, I suppose, be a better person. “I won’t be able to get proper treatment in this country.” Chishiya sighed. Although he felt a small sting, the pain hadn’t kicked in. He heard Arisu and Usagi talking, yet he could not process what it was that they were talking about. Then, the stinging went to his nose, and before he knew it, the stinging turned into more of a tingle. After that, well, I suppose Chishiya would have liked to tell you it was a drop of rain that fell near his eyes, but that was not the case. The sun started to set, and Chishiya hadn’t moved an inch.

“Because of you, I finally got to live my life the way I wanted to. Thank you, Chishiya.” This time, when Chishiya recalled these words, it was not disappointment he felt, but happiness, and maybe a drop or two of peace.

Chishiya saw a burst of blue, then red, then many other colors following.The light lit up everything. The sky, the buildings, everything. Then, he heard a loud voice over the PA. “Now, all remaining players must decide if they accept permanent residency in this land, or if they do not accept.” Chishiya stared at the ceiling, listening to the faint voice on the radio (if thats the word for it). It was listing names. Names of people who had died in the crash. “Kotoko Shiga, Urumi Aramaki, Keiichi Kuzuryuu-” Chishiya froze. Keiichi Kuzuryuu. The name sounded familiar. Painfully familiar. Chishiya could have sworn he had heard it before. He had no clue where, but it was somewhere. Somewhere. A place he had been in for a long time. It was so unclear to him about where it was, and what it was, but it felt so vivid at the same time. ❤️

#chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #imawa no kuni no arisu #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland #aib #kuzuryuu keiichi #kuzuryu keiichi #keiichi kuzuryuu #keiichi kuzuryu

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insecxreasalwqys · 1 year

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omg now i’m literally bawling.

spoilers for s 2 aib ig?

If you don’t want spoilers, js scroll past quickly with your eyes closed, ig.

ANYWAY, I AM DYING RN.

. .

HE LOOKS SO DISAPPOINTED IT’S ACTUALLY HILARIOUS

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insecxreasalwqys · 1 year

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spoilers for s 2 aib ig?

If you don’t want spoilers, js scroll past quickly with your eyes closed, ig.

ANYWAY, I AM DYING RN.

. .

HE LOOKS SO DISAPPOINTED IT’S ACTUALLY HILARIOUS

#suguru niragi #niragi suguru #chishiya shuntaro #shuntaro chishiya #arisu ryohei #ryohei arisu #aib #aib season 2 #imawa no kuni no alice #imawa no kuni no arisu #alice in borderland

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insecxreasalwqys · 1 year

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secret santa (bc why not?)

I just wanted to write this for fun. I first came on here somewhere in May, which was about 7 months ago. I started writing little fics for fun, and also because I really loved Alice in Borderland’s plot. Like, a lot. It was originally supposed to be writing about canon things, but I got bored of it, and started drifting away from it slowly. It’s only been 7 months, but it feels like i’ve been here for years :). Although I have been going on here less, and less, I still always enjoy being on here. And, although not many people see it, or like it, I just read it myself. Thank you @thee-yunatic-pixie for always reading my stuff :) You were with me from the beginning, and I really appreciate you <33. And thank you to everybody who reads my stuff, because I know it’s not that good, but you take time to read it. You guys are awesome, and ilysm. A new year is right around the corner, and these 7 months have been amazing :) I know not everybody celebrates Christmas, but I just wanted to write this because I thought it would be a good idea to, I guess, even out the sad stuff? Idk, but here you are :)

Usagi took the small piece of paper out of the jar. She smiled, and put the paper in her pocket. “Thats everyone?” Kuina asked, but, I guess it was more rhetorical (also it was obvious because there were no more papers), because she put the jar away before anybody could move. “When do you guys want to give the gifts?” She asked (seriously this time). Niragi rolled his eyes. “On Christmas! Are you stupid?” He yelled. “Okay, okay. My goodness.” Kuina said.

“I’m going upstairs.” Chishiya declared. And so, he did. Arisu let out a sigh, and followed him. “I’m bored!” Arisu yelled, looking behind him at them, throwing his hands in the air. Kuina and Usagi let out a laugh, knowing Arisu wasn’t mad, but, rather, he was trying to be polite, providing a reasoning for leaving.

“Come on! Just tell me!” Niragi pleaded, reaching for the piece of paper Chishiya was holding. “No!” Chishiya half-yelled. “Why not?” Niragi asked. “Because it’s called secret santa. Secret! I tell you!” Chishiya said, moving his hand, and raising the paper away from Niragi. “Fine!” Niragi exclaimed, a look of defeat forming on his face. Chishiya relaxed his arm, and smiled. “Yeah, Niragi. Secret.” Arisu laughed. Niragi scoffed, and put out his hand, facing Arisu (as a way of saying ‘talk to the hand’). Chishiya let a chuckle slip, and soon, they were all laughing. Well, maybe I should have said the two of them, because Niragi certainly was not.

Well, what do they like? Chishiya asked himself, going on his tippy toes to see the top shelf. Ooo! Perfect! Chishiya thought. He reached for it, but couldn't quite reach. He jumped, and then managed to get it. Chishiya stared at it, and he couldn't help but giggle a bit.

When Chishiya got home, he ran to a small closet in the living room. He reached for some wrapping paper. He tried wrapping it as neatly as possible. When he put the label on, he tried to do the same for his handwriting.

After that, he went up to his room, and put it in his closet.

“Arisu, I told you. You can’t come!” Usagi said. Arisu frowned. Usagi sighed, looking at him. “I’ll be back in 30 minutes. Tops.” She smiled. “Okay.” He said. She opened the door, and locked it behind her.

Arisu heard a knock at the door, and ran to it. He looked through the glass, and saw it was Usagi. A wide smile spread across his face. He unlocked the door, and opened it. Arisu looked away from Usagi, making sure he wouldn’t see the gift. Usagi locked the door, and smiled back. It really was adorable. “I’ll be in my room for 5 minutes.” She said. “Awh okay.” Arisu said.

Kuina bought her gift the second she left Chishiya’s house. Niragi also did to get it over with. Arisu waited until Christmas Eve to do his. Does this sound stupid? Yes. Are we going to play along with it? Yes. Is this an excuse for my lazy writing? Perhaps.

people

Kuina<heyy

Hello.>Chishiya

Kuina<Can we come at like 9?

Okay, ig.>Chishiya

Niragi<wth it’s 4 in the morning

Kuina<and?

Niragi<And i’m trying to sleep.

Kuina<okay sleeping beauty

Niragi<stop

Kuina<wait before you get back to your beauty rest, we’re going to chishiya’s house at 9.

Niragi<yeah okay now leave me alone

Arisu<oh

Arisu<okay

Arisu< i’ll tell usagi

Arisu<oh and merry christmas!

Mhm>Chishiya

Chishiya paused. He felt a bit bad.

Merry Christmas>Chishiya

Arisu< :)

Well great. Now he has people coming at nine. he yawned, before getting up to get ready.

He heard the doorbell ring. He went to answer it. Niragi. Good for him. He opened the door. “Did you get your beauty rest?” Chishiya asked. Niragi rolled his eyes.

“Oh. Hi, Arisu!” Chishiya said. Arisu came in, Usagi following. “Just put your gifts there.” He said, pointing to the couch.

Kuina came at 9 sharp. She put her gifts on the couch. “Well, we can do it now, I guess.” Chishiya said. Chishiya placed the gifts under the tree. Chishiya made a motion with his hand, telling the others to come. “Just take your gift.” Chishiya said. Once everybody had their gift, they started. They decided to go in a circle, starting with Kuina. Hers was in a bag. She took the tissue paper, and there were little boxes in different sizes wrapped. She opened them. The first one had perfume. She took off the cap, and put it up to her nose. It smelled like how sugar tastes? I don’t know. Sugar. The second one had some lipgloss. “I already have like ten, but thank you.” She said. The last one had socks. “Awh!” She said, “They’re so fuzzy!”. She glanced towards Usagi. “Was it you?” Kuina asked. Usagi nodded. “Thank you!” She said. Arisu smiled. “Open yours, Sleeping Beauty.” She said. Niragi scoffed. His gift was wrapped. He tore it open. A campfire kit? Realization hit Niragi like a truck. He turned his head to the short one. Niragi gasped. “You!” He yelled. Chishiya had been holding in his laughter from the second Kuina finished, and now, he let it out. “Yes. Me, indeed! “ Chishiya admitted. Kuina patted Niragi on the shoulder, laughing, and the other two giggled. Niragi elbowed Chishiya. “Ow! So rude!” Chishiya exclaimed. “Kids these days.” Niragi said under his breath. “Excuse me? Kid? I am a grown man. I am 21 years old, you butthead.” Chishiya scolded. “You’re literally 2 years older than me.” He added. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Niragi said. “Butthead.” Kuina repeated. Niragi snatched the gift away from Chishiya’s gift, waving it around the same way Chishiya did 3 days ago. Kuina sighed, and took it from Niragi’s hand, giving it back to Chishiya. Chishiya opened his gift. They were clothes, and a pillow. There were 3 t-shirts, 1 brown jacket, 1 thin long sleeve shirt, and a sweater. Chishiya tilted his head. His mouth faltered, when he heard a voice. “Well, I just thought because you cycle through the same 5 clothes in 5 days, you could use some new ones.” Arisu said. Chishiya smiled downwardly, before speaking, “Well, thank you.”. “You’re welcome.” Arisu smiled.

“1.8 million!” Niragi yelled. He had beaten Chishiya and Usagi by 100k. After Usagi and Arisu had opened their gifts, they decided to play life. “Good for you.” Kuina said. Niragi waved his money in the air, showing it to everybody. “We get it.” Chishiya said, taking the money from Niragi’s hand, organizing them, and putting them back in the box. He continued to do the same with everybody else’s, and put the game away. They now didn’t have much to do. Not many people in their area really celebrated Christmas. “Arisu and I are going home.” Usagi sighed. “Okay.” Chishiya said. “Merry Christmas.” Usagi said, getting up. “Merry Christmas.” Chishiya replied. “Bye!” Kuina said, waving at the two. Usagi smiled. Usagi closed the door. “Thank you!” Arisu yelled, his voice muffled as he was outside. “You’re welcome!” Chishiya shouted back, getting up to lock the door.

“Can we bake cookies?” Kuina asked. “Why not.” Chishiya said. Kuina silently celebrated, as Chishiya got up to go to the kitchen. Niragi and Kuina did the same.

“Niragi, you look like I just caught you inhaling- You know what? Forget it. There’s flour all over your face.” Chishiya sighed. “There is not!” He yelled. “There is too. Go wash your face.” Chishiya said. Chishiya had decorated 2 cookies so far, and they were for Arisu and Usagi. Kuina had made one, and Niragi was still on his first one. When Chishiya was done, he took the two he had set aside, and out them in a bag. He figured he would give it to them later, and went to wash his hands. “I have to go.” Kuina said. “Thank you, Chishiya, and Niragi, I guess.” She added. “You’re welcome.” Chishiya said. “I’m going to leave as well.” Niragi stated, following Kuina. Chishiya got up, walking behind them to lock the door.

“Thank you, Chishiya.” Niragi said, before going onto the doorstep. “Oh my goodness! I am so very proud of you! You’re welcome.” Chishiya replied. The two heard Kuina laugh, before Chishiya locked the door. “I’ll get it.” Usagi said to Arisu, getting up. She twisted the door knob, and pulled. It was Chishiya. “Oh, Hi.” Usagi said. “Hello.” Chishiya replied. “Kuina, Niragi, and I made cookies, and I made 2 for you and Arisu.” He said handing her a bag. “Thank you!” She said. “Thank you, Chishiya!” Arisu yelled from across the room, in the same tone as earlier. “You’re welcome.” Chishiya smiled. 8 billion people on this earth, and I still want you baby girl 😍. Hi, uhm, again. I hope you liked it! I apologize for any grammar/spelling errors I made. I checked it, but like always, I may have made a mistake. I hope this one was bearable. I know it started to get a little dry the further it went, so yeah. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy new year, or whatever you celebrate. And, if you don’t celebrate anything, then have a nice day, ml :)

-gabby

#chishiya shuntaro #shuntaro chishiya #arisu ryohei #ryohei arisu #kuina hikari #hikari kuina #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #usagi yuzuha #yuzuha usagi #aib #imawa no kuni no alice #imawa no kuni no arisu #alice in borderland

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insecxreasalwqys · 1 year

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so long, nice to know you, i’ll be moving on.

This one is another one that was in my drafts, prolly since august? Yeah. Sorry if most of it sounds horrifying.

“I think I will refuse. I guess?”

“Could you keep it down? I cant sleep.” Chishiya asked, but shortly added, “But, perhaps, thats a little unreasonable to ask for?”. “I would be more than happy to switch with you if you’d like, but, then again, your wounds are pretty bad as well?” Niragi offered. “Oh, and, i overheard a nurse saying your heart stopped?” Chishiya said. “No, but my body’s all messed up.” Niragi replied. Chishiya nodded. “Now that you’ve been to the edge, and back, anything changed for you?” Niragi wondered. “Well, i feel like i’ve been wasting my life away until now.” Chishiya started. “So now, maybe when i get out of here, i can live an honest life. Or, something along those lines.” He finished. “Geh, how clìche.” They ended up having a nice conversation, going back and forth asking eachother questions.

Chishiya ended up getting out before Niragi did. But they managed to somehow get eachothers numbers. Chishiya felt that in his time in the hospital, Niragi made it slightly less unbearable. He started to do some therapy, and he continued with medical school. Today, he had just finished therapy, when he got a message on his phone. He checked the message. Ah, Niragi. He turned on his phone. Niragi <Watcha doingggg? The text read. He replied saying he just had finished a therapy session, and was walking back his apartment. He closed the contact, and then saw a contact. He saw that it was his father’s contact. He stared at it for a good few seconds. He let out a sigh, and kept walking.

Im really not familiar with how med students spend their summers, so bear with me When he got inside his room, he turned on the lights. He was quite happy he was free from studying for a few weeks, as he had just finished a school year, and it was now summer. It was a little late, so he decided to go to sleep. His sleep schedule wasnt as messed up as it was before he was in the hospital, so that was something? As he turned off his bedroom lights, he felt calm, and peaceful. There werent many times he slept out of the hospital, without worrying whether or not he had studied enough, or crying himself to sleep, etc, etc.

He opened his eyes, only to see the sun shining in his eyes. He actually didn’t feel like crap. He was able to actually see, as many times, before he was in the hospital, he would wake up with horrifying vision. He really wanted to have a good summer, as it wouldn’t last very long.

Once he ate breakfast, he took a book with him. He took his phone as well, and left. It was loud. The sound of kids yelling, friends talking, etc, etc. He was going over to a park near by. Better for mental health? Something along those lines.

He saw a water fountain with a tall tree next to it, and decided to sit at a bench next to it. He looked around, smiling a little. It was loud, yes, but not in a manner that it annoyed him, or that he couldnt hear his own thoughts, it made it somewhat more, for lack of a better word, enjoyable, you know? With the sound of the water falling, just loud enough for him to hear, the sun shining, the warm, yet not too hot temperature, he found it surreal. Or, at least, to him. He took out the book he had brought earlier, and flipped to the page he had been on. Nearly an hour had passed, and he had finished the book. He looked around again. Just because. (Yes i like to write about this exact scenario, or something like it, in probably every fic i’ll write, so.) A family playing together caught his attention. They were laughing, and having fun. The sight of this didn’t ruin his mood, or make him feel the way he used to. He wasnt going to let his “father” ruin his day anymore.

He had planned to go grocery shopping today, so he did. As he was about to go in, he saw a man behind him, looking down at his phone. He held the door open, but quickly recognized that it was Niragi, so, he let go of the door and walked into the store. No, im just kidding. He held the door, and before his friend could look up to thank Chishiya, the latter let out a ‘boo.’. It was audible, but just barely. Niragi jumped a bit, before seeing it was Chishiya. The man looked unimpressed. “Im going to smack you in the face.” Suguru said. Chishiya chuckled a bit, before walking into the store. They ended up going around the store together. Talking more rather than getting the stuff they needed. “How has your mother been?” Chishiya asked. “She’s doing good.” Niragi answered, taking a carton of eggs. Shuntaro nodded, with a small smile. Chishiya finished paying for his items, he put them in the bag next to him. He turned to Niragi, who was next to him. “Bye. I guess?” Chishiya said. “Yes, bye is the right word. You guess.” Niragi said, in a somewhat dead tone, but smiling visibly. Chishiya smiled back, before leaving. He got back to his apartment, and started putting everything he had bought where they should be. He checked the time. It was 12. Not too bad, but Shuntaro wasnt sure on how he would continue his day. When he was done, he went to his room. He changed into new clothes, and sat on his bed. It was quiet. That was something he had noticed. He decided to just look around his room, focus on something, and maybe fall asleep. There were no distractions. It was just him and his thoughts. He ended up falling asleep for 30 minutes. When he woke up, he felt happy. In the past, he never would’ve even allowed himself to lay on his bed for a few minutes.

He heard a sound on his phone. Niragi had, yet again texted him. He went to see what it had said.

<Hi Hi, Chishiya texted back. <Are you busy? No, not right now?> <If I FaceTime you, will you pick up? Well yeah, obviously?> <Okay, Okay. Geez.

Chishiya heard the ringtone, and clicked the green button on the bottom of his phone. “Hi.” Niragi said. “Hello?” Chishiya replied. “Why did you call me?” He asked. “I actually don’t know.” Niragi responded. “Mhm. I appreciate the honesty.” Chishiya said. “How has therapy been going?” Niragi asked. “It’s been going great so far.” Chishiya responded brightly (No exclamation mark, only because it seems wrong for me to even put an exclamation mark after something he said). Niragi was very happy after Chishiya had said that. Chishiya was his friend, after all.

They continued to laugh, and have a lighthearted, yet genuine conversation. Something that they weren’t given the chance to do in their childhood.

“I have to go.” Niragi said. “My phone is heating up horribly.” He added. “Okay. Don’t burn your hand. Again.” Chishiya said. Niragi let out a gasp, and covered his mouth with his hand. Chishiya heard a small laugh on Niragi’s end, before he hung up. Chishiya laughed as well, before shutting off his phone. When Chishiya turned off his phone, he felt really happy, and although his apartment was usually quite cold, he felt warm. It felt like when it’s cold outside, and you’re in your room, and you lie on your bed with the covers on for a while. You can still feel how cold it is inside, but you don’t really feel it, because you’re warm with the blanket, except, Chishiya had his blanket folded on his bed, resting on the corner of it. When ever he talked to Niragi, he felt happy, but it was this time especially. He suddenly saw everything as a blur, and felt a teardrop run down his face. He was crying. Not because he was sad, but because he was overwhelmed. Somebody took the time to sit down, and talk to him. Somebody cared. His own blood could not do that for him. Of course, his therapist was amazing, but they never made him feel quite as happy as he did right now.

Therapy is amazing, guys. I know it has helped many people in so many ways. I just feel as if this is how Chishiya would feel. Sorry for any mistakes with the spelling or grammar. I did check everything, but I, once again, may have missed something. Have a nice day my love :) -Gabby

#chishiya shuntaro #niragi suguru #imawa no kuni no alice #imawa no kuni no arisu #alice in borderland

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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im literally sick rn, i was sick less than a month ago, and its my birthday. my immune system did not slay.

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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men’s skaters wearing outfits so glittery they sparkle on the ice like a little disco ball… yuzuru’s legacy lives on <3

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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such a great man.

I haven’t posted anything in a while haha. Since school started, I have been really tired and stuff, and I have just been unmotivated. But, anyways, here’s a fic that was sitting in my drafts unfinished, so i decided to finish it because im sick and have nothing to do rn :) It may seem a little unfinished, but i hope you like it :)

tw! Mentions of 4bus3, and su!cid@l thoughts.

What a great man!

He heard the phrase all the time if his father was the topic. He was, according to everyone else, a great man. A great man who barely ‘talked’ to his son. A great man who overworked his son. A great man who had a son, just for the sake of looking good to the public. He didn’t blame one person who talked of his father highly. He was sure that to others, it did look as if his father was a great man, or kind person, etc, etc. His father just left, and Chishiya was thinking over about what his father had said to him, years ago. When he was perhaps 9, or 10, his father would still yell at him, the same way he would today. When he was young, he would dare to talk back. He would complain about it through tears, which, in the end, would only lead to injuries. He was told by his father, who’s words rang loud and clear, that Chishiya had to deal with it. That he had to suck it up. That day ended up being too much for the boy, and he took his father’s advice. He didn’t talk back, and nowadays, didn’t care. He would just stare at his father, while the man lectured him. He doubted himself. Perhaps his grades were way too low, perhaps he was dumb, perhaps his father was in the right this whole time. Perhaps he was just some brat who didn’t have a right to complain because he had a roof over his head. The more he thought about this, the more he believed it. Perhaps, Chishiya was just too negative all the time, and his father was, indeed, the great man everyone else made him out to be. Chishiya got out of his bed, and went over to his desk. He took out his laptop and books, and started studying. He felt as though he was just some robot, programmed to study, sleep for maybe 4 hours at best, eat occasionally, listen to his father lecture him for an hour, and repeat. He wasn’t too fond of it, but the great man who was his father impacted him to do that. So, maybe it wasn't too bad…right? A few hours had passed, and it had gotten dark outside. Chishiya’s hands were a little tired, cramping up every now and then. It was really quiet. His father was doing whatever on his computer. His mother…he wasn’t too sure. He never really was. The things people would do for fame or to look good was one of the only things that actually confused Chishiya. Why would one spend 9 months of their life going through so much pain, give birth to a baby at the end, just to not care about them? He almost wanted to laugh at the thought of it. The sole reason he was brought into this world, was to be a decoration. It was about 1 in the morning. Shuntaro had just finished studying everything, so he decided he would go to bed earlier. Did I forget something? Did I study enough? Is all of my homework done? Did i forget about an exam? These things would run through his head. Always overthinking. Thats how he was. Because he knew that if he slipped up, or made one mistake, it wouldn’t end well for him. He slowly started to fall asleep, in that cold, silent house. His eyes opened slowly, before he saw his whole room come into the picture. It was still a little dark. This was pretty normal for the time he would wake up at. He got up, before heading to the bathroom. He went back to his room. It was maybe 5. He turned on his laptop, and went through some power points. After going through about 4 of them, he felt tired. He wasn’t too sure how, though. He could do this the days he slept at 4 and woke up at 5, yet couldn’t, even though he had slept at 1? Without taking anything else into account, he reacted to this by thinking he was just being lazy. That he was to blame. Chishiya hated these thoughts, but they always managed to get the best of him. It was almost as if he couldn’t control them. Once he had one negative thought, all the other ones came flooding in. One part of him said that he was just too soft. There were thoughts that told him if he was so unhappy, that he might as well throw it all away. Or end it all. But he always stopped himself. If he did listen, and threw it all away, and dropped out to pursue something else, then he would live with the guilt his whole life. And worst of all, his “family” would consider him as someone who was useless. Someone who cracked under pressure. Someone who was too dramatic. Someone who had failed. If he killed himself, then he would still be thought of as the same. And that was what really stopped Chishiya from listening. The one thing Chishiya feared at the end of the day, was failure. The one thing he had was the fact that he had done so well academically for years, and still is. He clung onto it. He based his self worth on his grades. Because if he didn’t have that, what was he? He adjusted his position in his seat, before opening his notebook. He entered in his password for his laptop, when he heard footsteps coming towards him. He looked up, to see his professor. The man was holding a single packet. Chishiya remembered he had taken a test 2 days ago. He came up to Chishiya’s seat, and handed over the packet to him. “Here you are.” He said, with a small smile. Chishiya smiled back, and thanked him. Chishiya looked at the top of his paper. 100. He shrugged, and put it next to his notebook. He heard the door open and two other students came in. Chishiya glanced at them, before turning back to his laptop. His class started in about 5 minutes, so he just sat back and waited.

He closed the door behind him, and took off his shoes. He let out a sigh, and relaxed his shoulders a bit. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands, and then went back up to his room. He did the same exact thing every single day. The idea that he would continue to do this for 2 years, and then go into residency haunted him. He was stuck in an endless cycle, that would continue for years to come. All because of a great man. Idk how medical schools work, and i also didnt do research, so i hope i didn’t kill you too much with inaccuracy, haha. Also sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes. I went over it and it didnt look like there were any, but maybe i missed something. Have a good day <333

#chishiya shuntaro #imawa no kuni no alice #imawa no kuni no arisu #alice in borderland

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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Reblog this if you like seeing me on your dash

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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reblog this to put a leaf on your mutuals head

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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Was bored and decided to open Picrew to find this!:

Look at what i made!

Here is the link!: https://picrew.me/image_maker/147333

Tags: @aceofspadegrass @nishymoon @nikiemae-i @nessinborderland @thee-yunatic-pixie @insecxreasalwqys @jhynka @hatterstan-shameblog @alisblackgf @twentyfourhourtitts @creamwh0re @chxshiya @nishymoon

Continue this by reblogging! I want to see how you guys made yours :3

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

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a pooh bear’s love

This was per @a-simp-20 ‘s request :) its a yuzuru hanyu x fem! Reader. This will probably suck, bc i dont read or necessarily like x readers in general. There are definitely writers who can write good x readers, but im not one of them. I dont write romance in general, so bear with me, please :).

The press conference left you perhaps a little bummed, but atleast you could watch his shows in the future! As you saw him, you decided to walk up to him. (This will probably be the worst written part out of all of this, so proceed with caution, lmao. I also dont know how people even ask for autographs, so.)

“Excuse me?” You said. Yuzuru stopped walking, and turned towards you. “Hm?” “Ah, not to bother you, or anything, but could you sign this?” You asked, holding out your pooh-bear. He nodded once, and you handed your bear and pen over. “Whats your name?” Yuzuru asked, writing a little note. “(Whatever your pretty name is, idk.)” You answered. Hanyu smiled and handed the bear back to you. “Thank you.” You smiled back. As you turned around, you heard a voice call out from behind you. You turned back around, and saw that it was yuzuru. “I was wondering, if you wanted to meet up at, perhaps, the mall nearby? Its fine if you dont want to.” He asked. You smiled a bit, but was in a little disbelief. You agreed. He told you where it was, again, to avoid confusion. After a while, you guys settled for 3 tomorrow. “Thanks, again.” You said, before leaving.

You woke up, with a small strip of light next to you. You yawned, before getting up. You smiled a bit, and continued on with the morning in a good mood. You made sure to drive carefully today, not that you didnt everyday, but, you get the point, okay? It was nice outside, not too hot, yet not too cold. When you got there, you didnt see yuzuru. You remembered that he hadnt told you where to go. You sighed, before starting to look around. Yuzurus pov bc yes

How is one late when they were the one offering to meet up? I thought to myself. It was 3:05. I entered the building, only to realize I hadn’t told her where to meet. I buried my face in my hands, before going to the nearest store. Not in his pov anymore? Your pov? Idk what to call it. You still hadn’t found him. You had already been in 2 other stores, probably looking like a maniac to other people. You saw another store close to you, so you entered it.

You were going through the sections of the store. “Nope, no Yuzu.” You mumbled under your breath. Before turning around, only for something to catch your eye. yuzus pov

Now, where would she be? I wondered. I might as well just go into a store randomly. Why not? I walked in. “Hi, welcome to (whatever idk you choose)” A worker said. I nodded with a smile, before looking around the store. I had been looking for a few minutes, before I saw the colors red and yellow. I turned to look. Awh. I saw you grabbing a pooh bear. “Were you hiding there, or something?” I said. your pov. Ig. You jumped a bit, before seeing that it was Yuzuru. You let out a laugh, before getting up. “Where were you?” You asked. “It was traffic.” Yuzuru replied. “Ah. Okay.” You said.

AhEm. Never. Again. Better for you and me both, love. I took 5 decades to finish this. Started on july 19 ended on august 7 :). I have never heard of procrastination in my life. I never once got stuck on this fic and just wrote 😍 ykyk bc im an amazing writer. Right? No, but you have yourself a good day. Or atleast try your best to after reading whatever this thing was. Love ya

-insecure (or gabby ig)

#yuzuru hanyu #hanyu yuzuru #yuzuru hanyu retirement #yuzuru x reader

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