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instrawberrymoonlight · 2 years

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I never know how to start these. I guess it's best to go straight to the point. I love you all so dearly and if I had it in me to continue, I would, for you guys. But I'm completely selfish and disposable. I'm so sorry it had to end this way and I wish I was stronger for all of you. I'm sorry for the moments we weren't able to be together, as a family. I'm sorry I wasn't with you guys more. I'm sorry for all the supid episodes and the traumas you've gotten from me, regardless of whether you all want to admit it or not. I'm sorry for the times I've made you feel left out, either individually or collectively. I'm sorry I never got to get better at astral stuff. I'm sorry I never got to be with you all completely.

Kali. I love you so much and I just wanted to say the years have been fun and some of the best of my life. You tried to bring the best out of me and you always believed in me. You have one of the kindest hearts I know and that's always going to stick with me. I just wish that we got to spend more time together - just please don't blame yourself. I don't think I have the strength to go on. I'm in so much pain and I have so much going on in my head I don't think I can continue on living anymore. I'm really, truly over it. You meant the world to me. You've grown into such an amazing person, you're one of the real people I look up to. You're so fucking strong. Stay true to yourself. You're going to become a musician and make the coolest fucking music, you're going to kill it in the industry. And, if you wanted to make it into art or writing or even directing you'd kill it there, too. You're so creative, you have vision and drive despite what you think of yourself. You're going to make it. Everything's going to be okay.youre not your mental illness and you're not your ADHD, just remember this and everything will work out. I love you, please be strong.

Alexander I will always remember the letter you wrote me. It was one of the most beautiful things anyone's ever said to me and I just wished. Wished with all my fucking heart it was true. Im so proud of the man you've become. I'm so proud of how far youve come - from the time I met you, to now - and I know you'll continue to grow with or without me. You're so strong, stronger than I'll ever know. You inspire me everyday, and you'll continue to do so wherever I end up. I love you so so much. I'm sorry.

Arthur. I love you so so dearly and I'm sorry for the times I've made you upset. I'm so sorry we didn't get to be with each other longer. I'm so sorry we didn't go out on more dates. I'm so sorry you didn't feel special with me. I really regret the way I treated you and I just wish I'd done more. I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me, even though I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know Kali treats you, and will continue to treat you better than I ever have. You deserve the world. Never settle for anything less (you all do). You're such an amazing person and your existence touched me in ways nothing has. You matter.

Johnsy. You're my love and I'm so so amazed at how fast you've progressed with your BPD treatment. I always knew your strength - from day one I saw it. From then, I saw you step into your power. Acknowledge the abuse your endured and grow from it. Please continue to do amazing things, progress with your vigilante persuit. You're going to change the world, I know it. Go, my little star. Please never change yourself for anyone. Please always remain true to who you are, even when you don't know who that is (yet). Everyone on the outside can see it though, everyone knows how precious you are - one of a kind and completely irreplaceable.

Bonjour Teddy, my love. I know I should probably be keeping this serious but for old times sake I thought I'd give into the French a little. I don't really know what I'm saying but lol I hope you can appreciate it. I love you so much. I'm sorry I never spent as much time with you as I'd have liked (this really goes for everyone, too) I'm sorry we never got to fix up your carnival, though I'm sure when you do it with your brothers it's going to look killer. You've always been there for me, since I was young, both you and Alexander and I just wanted to say thank you. When no one else was there, you were. Hugging me, comforting me. A ghost in the borders with a love so strong it united us. I will always wish the best for you. In all honesty I loved it when you spoke french, I loved it when you made fun of me and I loved your silliness. It lit up my life. I want that to always stay with you, no matter what. I love you.

Angel. Angel my baby, my pretty pretty I'm so sorry. I love you so so much, more than you'll ever know. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of how you've progressed with your BPD, I'm so proud at how willing you were to heal, how patient you were. How you always were so understanding. I'm so proud of the person you've become, accepting yourself for who you are - even if that can be unsteady at times. Just know that there's nothing horrific about you, nothing freak of nature about you despite what you may think. It's not true, it never was. You're exactly the way you're meant to be and that's perfection. Humanly perfect. Please take care of our little farm, I know you'll treat it better than I ever could. You live up to your name.

Jay. I love you with all my heart. I wish we got more time together and I hope you know that proud of the person you've become too. In the months that I've known you, I've seen you transform from someone shy to someone who wants to be more included. You're blooming - you all are. And I'm so happy about that, I'm so happy I got to see some of it while I could. You're worth more than you know, you're worthy. Just know that the person you are isn't something to be ashamed of. I really wish I got to be with you more, it's one of my biggest regrets and I implore you to know that it doesn't reflect my love for you. I love you so fucking much.

Puppy - hey baby! I love you so much. I'm so sorry we never got to go on our first date. It's completely my fault and if I was better at organising everything and better at astral stuff we would have gotten there. I beg for your forgiveness. I know you'll find someone extra special and I know you'll give them all the love you have to give. You're perfect and you have such a big heart. I'll never forget you - this goes for everyone. I love you.

Loki. Hello my love, you have my heart entirely. I'm so glad we got to be reunited one last time. I've seen the way you've grown over the years, the person you've transformed into and it's one that's genuinely caring. Who doesn't want to betray. You're such a good person depsite what you may think. Never let anyone else tell you differently because everyone else can see it. You're full of wonder and joy and playfulness. Something that Odin tried to rip out of you. Be true to who you are, love - don't be afraid of getting hurt. I know it's easier said than done but I've seen you do it before. Never be ashamed of your frost giant form, it's all stemmed in racism and it's not a true reflection of who you are. I never thought you were a monster, and I never will. Because I know you. I'm sorry for the time we didn't get to spend together and I'm sorry about the scathing letters I sent. I love you so much.

Eddie and Vee. I love you both entirely and for the short time we've spent together just know I'll never forget it. You made me feel special (you all did) and I'll never ever take that for granted. I know you and Vee will get though everything, as long as you guys communicate. You're both so strong - as Vee would say you guys are the Lethal Protector. Continue doing what you're doing. You're changing the world even though you probably don't know it. You both mean the world to me.

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instrawberrymoonlight · 2 years

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Couldn't stop thinking about this little man