jackthebard

[jackthebard]

damm it's been a year since last xiatuday... ha ha haa...

#this is very relevant to my interests

[jackthebard]

afro elphelt victory kinda sweet

#oh my god she's so pretty #this is very relevant to my interests

[jackthebard]

#tumblr at large

[jackthebard]

#shitpostradamus #laugh rule #this is so pure #confuse don't abuse

[jackthebard]

I am SICK and TIRED of seeing so much hate towards Al! Al hasn't done ANYTHING to hurt ANYONE! Al is harmless!

But I can already hear the Al haters out there!

"Al isn't original!" No shit, Sherlock! That's what we love the most about Al.

"People aren't supposed to look like that!" That sounds like a problem between you and God, and frankly, plenty of people like the way Al looks.

"Al is just too WEIRD!" Have you ever thought that you might be to NORMAL to actually appreciate Al?

I think you all need to apologize to Al right now!

APOLOGIZE TO HIM

APOLOGIZE TO WEIRD AL RIGHT NOW!

#i love weird al #tumblr at large

[jackthebard]

Me: "Hey yeah, so I invited another high school friend over because they wanted to sell me on another pyramid scheme, so I spiked their coffee with like 40 tabs of acid and chased them around the house while singing that I was the devil and that the nightmare would never end."

Priest giving confessional: "Okay we don't normally tell people this, but that's actually a secret way to get into heaven."

#shitpostradamus #me af

[jackthebard]

did you guys see the poem from a couple of days ago in poetry dot org’s daily poem it was so good and a treat to read 

#this is fucking art #really important writing shit

[jackthebard]

??? why are “friends with benefits” now considered a cringe straight people thing???? friends can fuck. it’s literally fine

#millenihilism

[jackthebard]

kinder than man, athea davis

#really important writing shit

[jackthebard]

occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

#this is fucking art

[jackthebard]

#fe3h #azure #musica #HELL YEAH

[jackthebard]

#shitpostradamus #laugh rule #unmatched power

[jackthebard]

so why the hell do humans have the ability to digest theobromine anyway? are there any theory papers about it?

it's still an open question! humans can handle a wide array of toxic plant alkaloids (theobromine, caffeine, capsaicin, menthols) and generally toxic substances (alcohol) that would put other mammals in the ground, so there's a whole field of study out there trying to figure out why this is!

for now though, feel free to indulge the mystery by indulging in a solid pound of high-quality milk chocolate in front of your sad pets.

RUB IT IN! RUB IT IN! RUB IT IN!

#i fucking love science

[jackthebard]

#really important adult shit

[jackthebard]

Chaos entity Gritty paid a visit to the Philadelphia Zoo, animals seem to have accepted him as one of their own

#this is so pure #gritty

[jackthebard]

Brooke McCarter, Kiefer Sutherland, Billy Wirth and Alex Winter - The Lost Boys (1987)

#raine #nostalgia with me

[jackthebard]

#this is fucking art