jazzywazzy2200

[jazzywazzy2200]

BAHAHAHA OMAD/VOLUME EATING WHO??

1 1/2 cups rice (306)

2 cups lettuce (15)

1/3 Cucumber (10)

Packet of tuna (70)

Seasonings and such (15)

Total: 416 cals (rounding to 500 to make up for any miscalculations I may have made)

#ed vent #ed disorder #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #tw edtwt #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #edtwitter #tw disordered eating #ed diet tips

[jazzywazzy2200]

I love the way you smile, I love the way you furrow your eyebrows when you’re confused, I love the way you try and calm yourself down and you press your fingers together almost as a monk does, I love how calm you seem almost like a rock in the ocean but inside you ARE the ocean. I love it when you get passionate about the news, or over explain something, whether it’s a meme or a movie I’ve never seen, or a news article you’ve been researching, even if it’s about an event I’ll never remember after you tell me, the way your eyes light up just makes me smile either way. I love when you like a song so much you’ll either close your eyes to take in the moment or you’ll smile ear to ear. I love how soft your touch is. Even when playing thumb war, you’re always so gentle. Though when you hug me you hold me tightly. The way you hold my hand when I poke at your arm veins make me swoon. When you hurt it hurts me, like the way you whimper in pain breaks my heart. Shatters it. When you asked me what I would do when you died and I couldn’t answer, I was trying to think. You said you wanted me to live. I want you to live too, I want to have a dog named max with you. That’s what you also asked me about, “if we had a dog what would you name him” and to hear how excited you were when I said max. I would always live for you I would always try and put my intentions towards you. You would be the reason why I would strive to live. I already have lost so many before I don’t wanna lose you too. You’re the one thing I would wanna do everything to keep safe. The lack of attention to your health but also the overwhelming attention to it at the same time drives me mad. Being in a position where you care so much but don’t do anything about it scares me, I mean. You do stuff about it but the way you talk about yourself tears my heart out. If you saw the way I saw you, you would do the same thing. I know I’ve not been here really in a mental sense and I know there’s a lot to unravel when it comes to my mind and that’s one of the reasons why you don’t trust me 100% I just wish I could prove to you that I can be trusted i would do any and everything to gain that trust.

I know I’m young but my mind is well beyond my years. Beyond my emotional drive, I understand you more than you’ll ever think and I would do anything to make you be mine. I would, I would drop anything and everything, just to see you smile.

I love you too much to see you go and if you gave me a chance I would not let you down. I wouldn’t let you disappoint yourself, hoping for someone who would treat you well. I would treat you well, better than ‘well’, the best. THE BEST I would treat you.. I just kind of wish you understood that.

You’re my best friend and I just want you to myself I just want to make you see that you can be someone who loves you more than you’ll ever know.

#obsessive vent #obsessive love #obsessivecore #obslove #actually obsessive #irl yan #obsessive yandere #yanblr #obsessive thoughts #obs love

[jazzywazzy2200]

I want to know how you are, I wanna talk to you on the daily. You make me smile every time I see your face and it just happens naturally. You don’t trust me though if you did you wouldn’t regret it. I would never make you feel like you are doing something wrong, no matter if you push me away lock yourself inside your heart, idk how to explain to you in person. You’re someone I yearn to be close with. You’re someone that inspires me to be better for myself. You’re the reason why I try so hard and push so hard on myself because I wanna be good for me and for you. I just want you to know how much you mean to me and I’m willing to do anything and everything to prove it. I wanna know about you. I wanna know what you yearn for most, I wanna hear about your day, about what you did even if its lounge around. Even if it’s doing taxes or going to the store. I yearn for you, I crave it. I love hearing your laugh, soft but meaningful. I wish I could make you laugh any chance I get. the way you look at me makes me feel so happy, and the way you talk about yourself breaks my heart. Shatters it. As you said it yourself I just wish you could see yourself as I see you. Maybe you would understand why my heart hurts so much when you talk about anything that you struggle with. Because you can’t see it in your eyes like I can. I just wish I could be enough, I know you want more, more than I could ever give you. I can see it in your eyes as well. My heart just can’t get over you. And I’m sorry for being too much I’m so so fucking sorry for being a nuisance. I just love you. This is the only way I can truly express it without embarrassment. So. I’m sorry.

#obsessive vent #obsessive love #obsessivecore #obslove #actually obsessive #obsessive yandere #yanblr #irl yan

[jazzywazzy2200]

About me!! (Pinned at top of page)

I’m jazzy but I go by Jake as well

*~*

She/her/he/him pronouns (please no they/them if possible)

*~*

I’m gonna be 21 in July so I prefer more adults to follow me, though at the very least my account is 16+ friendly

*~*

I struggle with A4nor3x14 along with having bipolar 1 disorder and bpd with psychosis.

*~*

I am a part of the obslove/3D/5H/Dr*9 communities, if you are a part of any feel free to follow tho if not PLEASE BLOCK DO NOT REPORT!! This is my only safe space at the moment and if it triggers you in any way I completely understand but please block.

Thank you!! This is just an intro bahahaha

#obsessive love #obsessivecore #obslove #ed vent #ed disorder #ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #edtwitter #tw edtwt #ed not sheeren #pro for me not for thee #not promoting #obsessive yandere #actually obsessive

[jazzywazzy2200]

I had a giant salad today as my omad

About 2 cups of lettuce (15 cals) a packet of tuna (70 cals) a cup of yellow onions (64 cals) half a cucumber (15 cals) seasonings (evened out at 20 cals)

All in all I’m trying out volume eating and it seems to be going really well so far, I’m making sure to include proteins and such as well =)

Total cals for today: 184 cals but rounding up to 200

#ed disorder #ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #edtwitter #ed vent #pro a4a #pro for me not for thee #not promoting

[jazzywazzy2200]

Every time I look in a mirror: fat

Every time I move: fat

Every time I eat: fat

My hands, my chin, my arms: fat

My thighs and hips: disgustingly obese

My reflection: a blob of fat trying to shape itself into a person

I don’t even look human

[jazzywazzy2200]

i hate it when people that don’t have EDs talk about losing weight or being hungry.

but it also gives me motivation to become even worse, to prove to them how serious it is.

[jazzywazzy2200]

Holding your arm and you actually holding mine back literally makes ne wanna get as close as I can to your heart. You would be able to do anything and I would listen to you. I would rip my heart out for you. You cant trust me yet, but I’ll make sure you can I promise you. I can I promise please just give me a chance to prove your trust. You won’t be let down, I would get rid of everyone for you, I would drop dead for you so long as my spirit can be inside your loving heart.

#obsessive love #obsessivecore #obslove #ed disorder #tw restrictive ed #ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #actually obsessive

[jazzywazzy2200]

Being on a phone call with you feels so amazing, I don’t care that you may be doing it just to mess with me and leave, because I’ll make you mine anyways. I’ll make you love me, you already have that feeling in your heart.. and that’s me!! You have no idea how much I would do anything for you, I would literally st*rve myself just to hear you call me cute again, lord every time you do these things my heart flutters more and you know that you have my heart wrapped around your finger like the puppy I am oh my god-

I love you I love you I love you

#obsessive love #obsessivecore #obslove #actually obsessive #obsessive yandere #ed not ed sheeran #tw restrictive ed #ed disorder

[jazzywazzy2200]

i want you to choose what and when i eat

[jazzywazzy2200]

Dam. Im back on tumblr as a venting resource bc I know nobody IRL is on here.

What a shame. I rlly wanted to have ppl I know on here but at the same time. Not. Bahahah

(Ft. a pic in Tampa)