jessisajackass

[jessisajackass]

im posting smth today 😍😍

[jessisajackass]

PLEASE. write jealous bam (smut preferred) or platonic HCs with the cast :)) love your work :*

thank u so much for the req! i will write jealous bam in the future (i promise) but im gonna use the ask for the platonic hc's. they might be a little short (and im kinda worried they're meh) but i still hope you like them! thank u for your patience! <3

jackass platonic hc's

johnny knoxville:

ynknow i just feel like you’d be another one of his buddies

he’s super welcoming and chill

and of COURSE he’s gonna try to prank you like he does with all of the other jackass guys

but i think (if ur special to him like a BFF LOL) he’d tease you about the small things

i think on camera knox may come off as dumb becuz of the show

but fr i think hes actually smarter than u think 

and i think that would affect ur friendship LMAO

like a “hey! i’m the only one that can hurt ___” typa situation LMAOOOO 

steve-o:

SUCHHHH AN ASSHOLE 

but in a fun way ;P HAHAHAH

would totally gift you alcohol but keep half of it for himself LOL

i think he would also totally share clothes with u too

god i can imagine steve-o wearing ugly cheetah print pants 

have you seen the shit that he wore? GOD

ANYWAYS

very funny very drunk very crunk 

bam margera:

so protective

like OVERLY PROTECTIVE for a friend

not in a boyfriend way though, more in an annoying friend way?

also totally trying to fight you all the time FR.

throwing punches and tbh not caring if it hurts

i can also imagine like painting his nails and sleepover fun nights LOL

ryan dunn:

SOOOO SWEEETTTT :(((

i think he’d just be weird and kind LMAO like an uncle but … not?

like an uncle brother? LMAO WHAT

always making sure ur okay and stuff but in a non-chalant way

“hey do u want food before i leave?” “do u need anything before i go out” etc. FUN LOL

dave england:

i feel like this would be a fun dynamic duo

i think (idk why i think this) but he’d be more on the quiet side? 

like if it was a friendship pair, you would be the louder one LOL

idk why, but i feel like yall would go on vacations a lot 

IDK WHY IM GETTING THAT BUT I AM

it would be so funnn!!! yayyyy!!

danger ehren:

i feel like he’d always trying to make u do stupid shit LMAO

either that or he would be all like 

“leave the dangerous stuff to me” 

(and then he fails majorly)

PFFTTTT yeah maybe/maybe not

i think he’d just be super funny! idk always trying to protect/force u and his reactions r hillarious :P

chris pontius:

super like chill older brother vibes

i kinda feel like he’d just be super weird

fart in ur room and such LMAOOOO 

i know thats not what yall wanna hear and i apologize 

MAYBE GYM BUDDIES THOOUGHHH!!!

omg can u imagine

the flex pics would go crazy 0_0

[jessisajackass]

jess's masterlist

this is a collective list of all my works! my sorting system is as follows:

red = smut, fuller length works (18+, minors DNI)

purple = headcannons! (SFW).

yellow = fluff, fuller length works (SFW).

---

jackass romantic hc's

mile high club (bam)

recruit reader & why the guys chose you hc's

jackass platonic hc's

#masterlist #jackass

[jessisajackass]

PLEASE. write jealous bam (smut preferred) or platonic HCs with the cast :)) love your work :*

thank u so much for the req! i will write jealous bam in the future (i promise) but im gonna use the ask for the platonic hc's. they might be a little short (and im kinda worried they're meh) but i still hope you like them! thank u for your patience! <3

jackass platonic hc's

johnny knoxville:

ynknow i just feel like you’d be another one of his buddies

he’s super welcoming and chill

and of COURSE he’s gonna try to prank you like he does with all of the other jackass guys

but i think (if ur special to him like a BFF LOL) he’d tease you about the small things

i think on camera knox may come off as dumb becuz of the show

but fr i think hes actually smarter than u think 

and i think that would affect ur friendship LMAO

like a “hey! i’m the only one that can hurt ___” typa situation LMAOOOO 

steve-o:

SUCHHHH AN ASSHOLE 

but in a fun way ;P HAHAHAH

would totally gift you alcohol but keep half of it for himself LOL

i think he would also totally share clothes with u too

god i can imagine steve-o wearing ugly cheetah print pants 

have you seen the shit that he wore? GOD

ANYWAYS

very funny very drunk very crunk 

bam margera:

so protective

like OVERLY PROTECTIVE for a friend

not in a boyfriend way though, more in an annoying friend way?

also totally trying to fight you all the time FR.

throwing punches and tbh not caring if it hurts

i can also imagine like painting his nails and sleepover fun nights LOL

ryan dunn:

SOOOO SWEEETTTT :(((

i think he’d just be weird and kind LMAO like an uncle but … not?

like an uncle brother? LMAO WHAT

always making sure ur okay and stuff but in a non-chalant way

“hey do u want food before i leave?” “do u need anything before i go out” etc. FUN LOL

dave england:

i feel like this would be a fun dynamic duo

i think (idk why i think this) but he’d be more on the quiet side? 

like if it was a friendship pair, you would be the louder one LOL

idk why, but i feel like yall would go on vacations a lot 

IDK WHY IM GETTING THAT BUT I AM

it would be so funnn!!! yayyyy!!

danger ehren:

i feel like he’d always trying to make u do stupid shit LMAO

either that or he would be all like 

“leave the dangerous stuff to me” 

(and then he fails majorly)

PFFTTTT yeah maybe/maybe not

i think he’d just be super funny! idk always trying to protect/force u and his reactions r hillarious :P

chris pontius:

super like chill older brother vibes

i kinda feel like he’d just be super weird

fart in ur room and such LMAOOOO 

i know thats not what yall wanna hear and i apologize 

MAYBE GYM BUDDIES THOOUGHHH!!!

omg can u imagine

the flex pics would go crazy 0_0

#jackass #jackass hc's #steve-o #ryan dunn #johnny knoxville #chris pontius #bam margera #danger ehren #dave england

[jessisajackass]

okay im gonna post something today! also, FYI if you’ve sent in a req. I have seen it and am working on it ♥️

#jackass

[jessisajackass]

yes yall ik I have asks rn ill start writing them tonight thanks for ur patience 😙

[jessisajackass]

Would you write smut for Knoxville?

yes! I’d write smut for bam, knox, steve-o, chris, and maybe ryan (idrk that’s kinda 😵‍💫). the other guys are hc’s/drabbles/fluff only!

ty for asking ☺️

[jessisajackass]

Hc idea: crew member reader being recruited for jackass, and what made the boys decide you should join the show individually?

jackass hc's!

thank you for requesting! <3

this was kinda hard to write because i really had to sit down and think (i even used my friend for help, thank u ry lol <3), but it was fun to write too! i'm sorry if it's bad/not exactly what u hoped for but i hope u enjoy it anyways!

i also decided to do more members than last time, but it still might be a bit short. anyways, lets get into it!

johnny knoxville

your pain tolerance

undefined

bam margera

he’s known you from the past

undefined

steve-o 

your willingness to do things

undefined

chris pontius

your looks

undefined

ryan dunn

your overall personality/friendliness/boldness

undefined

dave england

your patience/responses

undefined

danger ehren 

your knowledge of painful things/dangerous acts

undefined

[jessisajackass]

idk why my last post is fucking up? maybe it’s just me and my bad wifi but it all says undefined..? I’ll try to fix it

[jessisajackass]

Hc idea: crew member reader being recruited for jackass, and what made the boys decide you should join the show individually?

jackass hc's!

thank you for requesting! <3

this was kinda hard to write because i really had to sit down and think (i even used my friend for help, thank u ry lol <3), but it was fun to write too! i'm sorry if it's bad/not exactly what u hoped for but i hope u enjoy it anyways!

i also decided to do more members than last time, but it still might be a bit short. anyways, lets get into it!

johnny knoxville

your pain tolerance

undefined

bam margera

he’s known you from the past

undefined

steve-o 

your willingness to do things

undefined

chris pontius

your looks

undefined

ryan dunn

your overall personality/friendliness/boldness

undefined

dave england

your patience/responses

undefined

danger ehren 

your knowledge of painful things/dangerous acts

undefined

[jessisajackass]

Hc idea: crew member reader being recruited for jackass, and what made the boys decide you should join the show individually?

jackass hc's!

thank you for requesting! <3

this was kinda hard to write because i really had to sit down and think (i even used my friend for help, thank u ry lol <3), but it was fun to write too! i'm sorry if it's bad/not exactly what u hoped for but i hope u enjoy it anyways!

i also decided to do more members than last time, but it still might be a bit short. anyways, lets get into it!

johnny knoxville

your pain tolerance

like i’ve said before, i feel like knox is more of a “walk it off” type of guy, so when he sees how you can just deal with pain, i think he’d be impressed!

hes also like…the boss of everything tbh so even if he liked u a lot and everybody else was meh, you’d get the part LMAO

i could def. see some duo skits with absolutely crazy things since you both deal so well with pain LMFAOO

bam margera

he’s known you from the past

OKAY LISTEN

IMAGINE YALL SKATED TOGETHER IN LIKE 00-03 ISH

AHHHHHH

and hes all talking big game all like “oh yeah i know this one amazing chick”

and they’re (the boys) r all skeptical like “hmmm :|” but hes PERSISTENT.

“no no fr shes funny she can do anything shes good at skating” LMAOO CUTEEE

steve-o

your willingness to do things

okay like imagine this

u walk into the audition or whatever and they make u do any stunt from previous jackass media, and ur like “cool great” AND THEN DO THE GOLDFISH STUNT?!?! (pls go see that if u havent)

STEVE-O WOULD BE BAFFLED LMFAOOO

he’d legit just be like “holy shit dude”

IN THAT RASPY VOICE PLSSSSKSJSHFBRJENW

anyways…he’d just be so shocked and like would talk to the other guys “omg we gotta get this person on here”

would even try to get u on wildboyz maybe ;P

chris pontius

your looks

this is maybe my weakest point but let me explain

pontius see pretty person

pontius like pretty person

pontius want pretty person on show

(you are very good looking)

LMAOOO IDK I THINK IT WOULD WORK

esp since u look so good u could do like party boy stuff AHAHAHAHAH

2 devils in california >:) OMFGGG

ryan dunn

your overall personality/friendliness/boldness

I GOTTA EXPLAIN THIS ONE OK OK

so basically i think like ryan is so super chill right and he just is always kinda being dragged around right

so i think he would like someone like bam! that is bold yet kinda friendly (of course ur friendler than bam LMAO) and would be a big help on the cast

i think ryan would just want someone that could entertain him tbh LMAOOO

i just think he’d be super chill with anybody, like a “if everybodys happy then im happy” situation LOL

dave england

your patience/responses

i feel like in some skits dave is always like “is that good? yeah?”

so like maybe at first hes a little iffy on if he wants u around

but then you’re always like “that was hilarious!” or “that was so awesome!” and he appreciates it!

i think it would make him like u more teehee

danger ehren

your knowledge of painful things/dangerous acts

okay since he is “danger ehren” of course

i think if you were always there being caring, he would love it and really want you on the cast

you’re always standing by with medical equipment IM SOOOOOO NFEJWQJK

i can even imagine at some points ur like “nuh uh ur not doing that” and hes panicking cuz he doesnt know if he should or not

CUTEEE ISH <3 :P

#jackass #jackass headcanons #bam margera #ryan dunn #danger ehren #dave england #steve-o #chris pontius #johnny knoxville

[jessisajackass]

mile high club - bam margera

18+ mature, minors DNI, female reader, no TW's

WC: 956

i had a lot of fun writing this, and i hope you enjoy it! thank you!

( req's r open ;] )

you can feel a hand pushing against your shoulder even though you’re still asleep. you wake up to find your boyfriend, bam, looking at you with an odd smirk. rule #42 of dating bam? if he looks at you like that, it can’t be good. 

you jolt up and turn around, making sure that the other jackass guys aren’t trying to pull some stupid prank. that’s what normally happens when he gives you that look. though, no one was there. no camera crews, no evil-plotting knoxvilles, coast looked clear. almost everybody was sleeping since this was a night time flight. with that thought, you turn to ask bam. 

“why did you wake me up? can’t you see we’re all trying to get some sleep here?”

he hesitates for a small second. you can see the wheels turning in his brain as he bites down on his lip, obviously deciding if he should speak or not. you guess the devil on his shoulder convinced him, since he opens his mouth and begins to speak.

“i wanna do something.”

“what do you mean you wanna ‘do something’? we’re on a plane bam.”

he pauses again and seems a little annoyed you didn’t get the hint. 

“i wanna have fun.”

at this point, you’re whisper-yelling. you keep talking,

“have fun? bam we are on a plane! we can’t just-”

it clicks at this moment what he means by “have fun”, and bam finds it hilarious the way your face loses color and jaw drops. he laughs so hard that he covers his mouth with his hand. again, in a whisper, you continue,

“brandon margera! do you mean in these seats!?” 

he chokes for a second and tries to stop laughing even though it's difficult. 

“no babe, oh my god! there’s a bathroom on this plane, duh.”

the plane returns to it's original silence without bam’s obnoxious laughing, and you stall for a moment, clearly confused. 

“bam…that’s like…gross. it’s an airplane bathroom!”

he whines a little bit and tries to meddle with you. 

“pleaseee babe…I really need the help right now.”

you see out of the bottom of your eyes that he moved his hand off his crotch. you look down and can tell he clearly has a hard-on. you two go back and forth for a little bit. you’re tired, airplane bathrooms are gross, it’s late and someone could hear you, etc. but he keeps trying and pushing, persuading you with the fact that you could be a part of the mile high club. eventually, you finally agree with him. 

“okay listen, you’re gonna go to the bathroom and i’ll follow you in so as to not arouse suspicion. wait in there for a few minutes and then turn the unoccupied signal on so I can come in.”

bam nods his head, gets up and quietly makes a walk to the bathroom. you wait around for a few moments, twiddling your thumbs and contemplating if you want to do this. if you really didn’t want to, bam wouldn’t force you, but the idea of having sex in random places isn’t new to you. bam wants to do it anytime, anywhere. 

you look up and see the light above the door click green, which is your cue. you slowly get up as to not disturb anybody, and you slip through the bathroom door, closing it behind you. 

you turn around to see a very happy looking bam, full smirk and all. you can see that his eyes are glossier than normal, he looks almost hazed. you playfully start,

“hello handsome, nice to see you again”

“nice to see you too..”

he slowly snakes his hand around your waist and pulls you closer. you can smell the alcohol on him from earlier, mixed with cologne that was probably way too expensive. your heads turn and fit together and you begin to kiss. it tastes like vodka and coke but the feeling is warm. he always kisses a little rough but you like it that way. 

his hand slides lower, rubbing your hips and ass. bam also likes to be very handsy, obviously. he grabs you and turns you up against the bathroom door, putting a hand over your mouth and kissing up and down your neck. thank the lord he was covering you, otherwise you would probably have people on the plane thinking you were dying. 

slowly, he slips a couple fingers into you, checking to see how aroused you were. in his head he says “fuck it” after seeing the slick on his fingers, and pushes himself into you. you yelp into his hand as he chuckles and moves in and out of you. you can feel how thick he is and it just makes you want to scream in pleasure but you can’t because of the current situation. you continue for a couple minutes more until he asks,

“where do you want it?”

“in my mouth.”

he pulls out as you quickly turn around and after a few quick pumps, he cums in your mouth and on the sides of your face. you chose this option hoping it would leave less of a mess but clearly that didn’t happen. 

you both take a second to breathe, smiling and trying to be as quiet as possible. you wipe the remaining cum off of your face and then both of you get ready to head out of the bathroom.

as you open the door, you see a very sleepy looking Steve-O staring at you and bam. shocked, you stand there motionless. he speaks, 

“maybe i’m just high but you guys were being so loud in there” 

terrified, you and bam stare at each other. bam then speaks,

“yeah, you’re just high.”

[jessisajackass]

ok okay! so now since the bam smut is posted ( read here ;] ), here is the list of upcoming items!

reader as new jackass member recruit and why the boys wanted you in the crew (req. posted tmrw!!)

jackass platonic HC's :)

more smut planned

I HOPE UR EXCITED CUZ I AM YAYYYYY!!!

(thank u for all the love <3)

#jackass

[jessisajackass]

as someone who dabbles in painting, i will be doing this when i get home LMAO

This could be a renaissance painting

[jessisajackass]

11 years without the man who stuck a toy car up his ass.

miss him so much :((

#my love

[jessisajackass]

mile high club - bam margera

18+ mature, minors DNI, female reader, no TW's

WC: 956

i had a lot of fun writing this, and i hope you enjoy it! thank you!

( req's r open ;] )

you can feel a hand pushing against your shoulder even though you’re still asleep. you wake up to find your boyfriend, bam, looking at you with an odd smirk. rule #42 of dating bam? if he looks at you like that, it can’t be good. 

you jolt up and turn around, making sure that the other jackass guys aren’t trying to pull some stupid prank. that’s what normally happens when he gives you that look. though, no one was there. no camera crews, no evil-plotting knoxvilles, coast looked clear. almost everybody was sleeping since this was a night time flight. with that thought, you turn to ask bam. 

“why did you wake me up? can’t you see we’re all trying to get some sleep here?”

he hesitates for a small second. you can see the wheels turning in his brain as he bites down on his lip, obviously deciding if he should speak or not. you guess the devil on his shoulder convinced him, since he opens his mouth and begins to speak.

“i wanna do something.”

“what do you mean you wanna ‘do something’? we’re on a plane bam.”

he pauses again and seems a little annoyed you didn’t get the hint. 

“i wanna have fun.”

at this point, you’re whisper-yelling. you keep talking,

“have fun? bam we are on a plane! we can’t just-”

it clicks at this moment what he means by “have fun”, and bam finds it hilarious the way your face loses color and jaw drops. he laughs so hard that he covers his mouth with his hand. again, in a whisper, you continue,

“brandon margera! do you mean in these seats!?” 

he chokes for a second and tries to stop laughing even though it's difficult. 

“no babe, oh my god! there’s a bathroom on this plane, duh.”

the plane returns to it's original silence without bam’s obnoxious laughing, and you stall for a moment, clearly confused. 

“bam…that’s like…gross. it’s an airplane bathroom!”

he whines a little bit and tries to meddle with you. 

“pleaseee babe…I really need the help right now.”

you see out of the bottom of your eyes that he moved his hand off his crotch. you look down and can tell he clearly has a hard-on. you two go back and forth for a little bit. you’re tired, airplane bathrooms are gross, it’s late and someone could hear you, etc. but he keeps trying and pushing, persuading you with the fact that you could be a part of the mile high club. eventually, you finally agree with him. 

“okay listen, you’re gonna go to the bathroom and i’ll follow you in so as to not arouse suspicion. wait in there for a few minutes and then turn the unoccupied signal on so I can come in.”

bam nods his head, gets up and quietly makes a walk to the bathroom. you wait around for a few moments, twiddling your thumbs and contemplating if you want to do this. if you really didn’t want to, bam wouldn’t force you, but the idea of having sex in random places isn’t new to you. bam wants to do it anytime, anywhere. 

you look up and see the light above the door click green, which is your cue. you slowly get up as to not disturb anybody, and you slip through the bathroom door, closing it behind you. 

you turn around to see a very happy looking bam, full smirk and all. you can see that his eyes are glossier than normal, he looks almost hazed. you playfully start,

“hello handsome, nice to see you again”

“nice to see you too..”

he slowly snakes his hand around your waist and pulls you closer. you can smell the alcohol on him from earlier, mixed with cologne that was probably way too expensive. your heads turn and fit together and you begin to kiss. it tastes like vodka and coke but the feeling is warm. he always kisses a little rough but you like it that way. 

his hand slides lower, rubbing your hips and ass. bam also likes to be very handsy, obviously. he grabs you and turns you up against the bathroom door, putting a hand over your mouth and kissing up and down your neck. thank the lord he was covering you, otherwise you would probably have people on the plane thinking you were dying. 

slowly, he slips a couple fingers into you, checking to see how aroused you were. in his head he says “fuck it” after seeing the slick on his fingers, and pushes himself into you. you yelp into his hand as he chuckles and moves in and out of you. you can feel how thick he is and it just makes you want to scream in pleasure but you can’t because of the current situation. you continue for a couple minutes more until he asks,

“where do you want it?”

“in my mouth.”

he pulls out as you quickly turn around and after a few quick pumps, he cums in your mouth and on the sides of your face. you chose this option hoping it would leave less of a mess but clearly that didn’t happen. 

you both take a second to breathe, smiling and trying to be as quiet as possible. you wipe the remaining cum off of your face and then both of you get ready to head out of the bathroom.

as you open the door, you see a very sleepy looking Steve-O staring at you and bam. shocked, you stand there motionless. he speaks, 

“maybe i’m just high but you guys were being so loud in there” 

terrified, you and bam stare at each other. bam then speaks,

“yeah, you’re just high.”

#jackass #bam margera #smut #jackass smut

[jessisajackass]

pls tell me where to find early 2000’s clothes, also SMUT COMING UP SOON 😁😁🤞🤞