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jmmelody 3 hours ago
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girls be in their bedrooms. spiraling and what not
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jmmelody 4 hours ago
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sorry dude can鈥檛 hang out I鈥檓 making up scenarios in my head. sorry no it鈥檚 gonna take up all my time.
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jmmelody 4 hours ago
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you ever just suddenly remember that linguini and remy can鈥檛 communicate. linguini does not have some special ability to understand rats. he just fuckin. accepts that this weird rat wants to cook and can control him with his hair. he鈥檚 just okay with that
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jmmelody 14 hours ago
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#pride and prejudice (2005) being a mood
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jmmelody 15 hours ago
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jmmelody 18 hours ago
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jmmelody a day ago
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*through gritted teeth* it doesn鈥檛 have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn鈥檛 have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn鈥檛 have to be-
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jmmelody a day ago
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people talk all the time about 鈥減rimal instincts鈥 and it鈥檚 usually about violence or sexual temptations or something, but your humanity comes with a lot of different stuff that we do without really thinking about, that we do without being told to or prompted to
your average human comes pre-installed with instincts to:
Befriend
Tell story
Make Thing
Investigate
Share knowledge
Laugh
Sing
Dance
Empathize with
Create
we are chalk full of survival instincts that revolve around connecting to others (dog-shaped others, robot-shaped, sometimes even plant-shaped) and making things with our hands
your primal instincts are not bathed in blood- they are layered in people telling stories to each other around a fire over and over and putting devices together through trial and error over and over and reaching for someone and something every moment of the way
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jmmelody a day ago
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thinking about this again
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jmmelody a day ago
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me irl
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jmmelody a day ago
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jmmelody 2 days ago
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# in which hope is me聽
VIRGIN RIVER | Grilled (4.03)
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jmmelody 2 days ago
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Things I would like non-wheelchair people to know
Do not touch my chair. Unless I鈥檝e lost control of my chair and am rolling into traffic, if I have not given you explicit permission, that is a huge violation of my personal space. Think of grabbing my push handles like grabbing someone鈥檚 shoulders. That鈥檚 not a thing you just do to people.
If I don鈥檛 know you, nothing about my chair, my body, my situation, or what I鈥檓 doing is any of your gods damned business. Think of commenting on these things to a stranger like catcalling. (If I know you it鈥檚 probably fine, as long as you鈥檙e respectful. Just like any other personal topic you might ask someone about.)
If I decline an offer of help, do not insist. I know what things I need help with a lot better than you do. (Nothing wrong with offering, help is definitely welcome sometimes, just respect my response.)
Okay, things that should be obvious out of the way, here鈥檚 what the post is actually about:
I still prefer the terms 鈥渨alking鈥 and 鈥渞unning鈥 for the ways I get around. I might say 鈥渞olling鈥 or 鈥渨heeling鈥 if the distinction is relevant for some reason, since I am ambulatory some of the time, but in general I prefer the same words as you tall people.
I need a much wider space to turn, or especially to turn around, than I do just to pass through a space.
Ask me, rather than assuming you know whether or not I can do something. I would love to go hiking with you, actually, if the trail is light and friendly enough to wheels. No, I can鈥檛 ice skate, but I鈥檇 still rather you ask if I want to come along than assume I don鈥檛 want to be included.
Which activities are notably more difficult is often not obvious. Popping a wheelie to get over a small amount of difficult terrain or even climbing a single step (if I have something to pull myself up with) can actually be pretty easy. A long stretch of ground tilted slightly to the left or right takes a ton of effort. Carrying anything that fits in my lap is trivially easy, but transporting anything that doesn鈥檛 fit in my lap is quite hard (though I recently discovered my vacuum fits nicely on my footplate if I wrap my legs around it a little which is cool.) I am constantly surprised by little things that are or aren鈥檛 harder than I thought they鈥檇 be, or are actually easier than before because I鈥檓 sitting.
If you are in my path, you moving suddenly is actually really unpleasant for me. I know you鈥檙e there, I鈥檓 not going to run you over. If you鈥檙e in my way, please do move! But jerking suddenly makes you unpredictable and I might have to stop suddenly to be certain everyone is safe while I process the change, just like if I were driving a car. Also like driving a car, stopping suddenly is unpleasant and a lot of effort, but the small adjustment to my direction I was planning to make is very easy. (Same goes for bikes honestly, or any other vehicle. That鈥檚 what the chair is, a vehicle.)
If we鈥檙e walking around together and need to get past some stairs, it鈥檚 nice if you come with me on the ramp, especially if that ramp is out of the way. It can be really isolating to have to go a different way than everyone else.
If we need to walk close together for whatever reason, you walking directly in front of me is best avoided if possible. Bumping into your heel with my metal footplate is going to be a lot more unpleasant for both of us than it would be if I were on my feet.
In general, you should let me speak for myself. It鈥檚 my joints that don鈥檛 work, not my brain or my voice. But. If someone else is being disrespectful, your voice is likely much more impactful than mine in that situation. Use it.
I鈥檓 not expecting anyone to memorize these things; as long as you鈥檙e treating disabled people like people, that鈥檚 enough. And if you want to do more than that but don鈥檛 know how, respectful questions are generally welcome. I just wanted to share these thoughts, for people who don鈥檛 live with them all the time. There are a lot of little differences to being seated all the time that you just don鈥檛 think about until you鈥檙e there.
Also, while I think most of this is generally true for anyone in a wheelchair, obligatory reminder that I speak only for myself.
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jmmelody 2 days ago
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sorry but there is nothing more romantic than enemies to lovers. literally nothing. it is you have seen me at my worst, and you make me my best. you have witnessed my anger and hatred and resentment, all of these vile, malignant emotions of mine, emotions once directed at you, and yet you love me regardless.
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jmmelody 2 days ago
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I鈥檓 in a YA Library-services focused class now (basically it鈥檚 a lot less 鈥淭eens like vampires!鈥 and a lot more 鈥淛esus fucking christ how did we get to the point where it is so socially ingrained in us to treat teenagers like shit鈥) and we鈥檙e on this module on teen space design in libraries and it鈥檚 like 鈥淲ell, by including teenagers in the design process, we found that when it comes to spatial design, teenagers like lots of natural light, green and sustainable building praxis, clean, casual, and comfortable atmospheres,聽 interesting and appealing colors, and also absolutely bullshit furniture that even they have no idea how to sit on.鈥
So it鈥檚 like鈥
鈥淭ell me鈥 what do The Youths鈩 want?鈥澛
鈥淲e still don鈥檛 know, but they seem to respond well to victorian fainting couches remodeled to look like they came out of that one time in the early 2000鈥瞫 where our idea of futuristic was making everything look like it was made out of jell-o.鈥澛
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jmmelody 3 days ago
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Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
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jmmelody 3 days ago
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鈥淎 lot of native speakers are happy that English has become the world鈥檚 global language. They feel they don鈥檛 have to spend time learning another language,鈥 says Chong.
鈥淏ut鈥 often you have a boardroom full of people from different countries communicating in English and all understanding each other and then suddenly the American or Brit walks into the room and nobody can understand them.鈥
The non-native speakers, it turns out, speak more purposefully and carefully, typical of someone speaking a second or third language. Anglophones, on the other hand, often talk too fast for others to follow, and use jokes, slang and references specific to their own culture, says Chong. In emails, they use baffling abbreviations such as 鈥極OO鈥, instead of simply saying that they will be out of the office.
鈥淭he native English speaker鈥 is the only one who might not feel the need to accommodate or adapt to the others,鈥 she adds.
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