jmmelody

[jmmelody]

girls be in their bedrooms. spiraling and what not

[jmmelody]

sorry dude can’t hang out I’m making up scenarios in my head. sorry no it’s gonna take up all my time.

[jmmelody]

you ever just suddenly remember that linguini and remy can’t communicate. linguini does not have some special ability to understand rats. he just fuckin. accepts that this weird rat wants to cook and can control him with his hair. he’s just okay with that

[jmmelody]

#pride and prejudice (2005) being a mood

#pride and prejudice

[jmmelody]

[jmmelody]

#tell them!

[jmmelody]

*through gritted teeth* it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be-

[jmmelody]

people talk all the time about “primal instincts” and it’s usually about violence or sexual temptations or something, but your humanity comes with a lot of different stuff that we do without really thinking about, that we do without being told to or prompted to

your average human comes pre-installed with instincts to:

Befriend

Tell story

Make Thing

Investigate

Share knowledge

Laugh

Sing

Dance

Empathize with

Create

we are chalk full of survival instincts that revolve around connecting to others (dog-shaped others, robot-shaped, sometimes even plant-shaped) and making things with our hands

your primal instincts are not bathed in blood- they are layered in people telling stories to each other around a fire over and over and putting devices together through trial and error over and over and reaching for someone and something every moment of the way

[jmmelody]

thinking about this again

#sometimes the world is beautiful

[jmmelody]

me irl

[jmmelody]

[jmmelody]

# in which hope is me 

VIRGIN RIVER | Grilled (4.03)

#virgin river

[jmmelody]

Things I would like non-wheelchair people to know

Do not touch my chair. Unless I’ve lost control of my chair and am rolling into traffic, if I have not given you explicit permission, that is a huge violation of my personal space. Think of grabbing my push handles like grabbing someone’s shoulders. That’s not a thing you just do to people.

If I don’t know you, nothing about my chair, my body, my situation, or what I’m doing is any of your gods damned business. Think of commenting on these things to a stranger like catcalling. (If I know you it’s probably fine, as long as you’re respectful. Just like any other personal topic you might ask someone about.)

If I decline an offer of help, do not insist. I know what things I need help with a lot better than you do. (Nothing wrong with offering, help is definitely welcome sometimes, just respect my response.)

Okay, things that should be obvious out of the way, here’s what the post is actually about:

I still prefer the terms “walking” and “running” for the ways I get around. I might say “rolling” or “wheeling” if the distinction is relevant for some reason, since I am ambulatory some of the time, but in general I prefer the same words as you tall people.

I need a much wider space to turn, or especially to turn around, than I do just to pass through a space.

Ask me, rather than assuming you know whether or not I can do something. I would love to go hiking with you, actually, if the trail is light and friendly enough to wheels. No, I can’t ice skate, but I’d still rather you ask if I want to come along than assume I don’t want to be included.

Which activities are notably more difficult is often not obvious. Popping a wheelie to get over a small amount of difficult terrain or even climbing a single step (if I have something to pull myself up with) can actually be pretty easy. A long stretch of ground tilted slightly to the left or right takes a ton of effort. Carrying anything that fits in my lap is trivially easy, but transporting anything that doesn’t fit in my lap is quite hard (though I recently discovered my vacuum fits nicely on my footplate if I wrap my legs around it a little which is cool.) I am constantly surprised by little things that are or aren’t harder than I thought they’d be, or are actually easier than before because I’m sitting.

If you are in my path, you moving suddenly is actually really unpleasant for me. I know you’re there, I’m not going to run you over. If you’re in my way, please do move! But jerking suddenly makes you unpredictable and I might have to stop suddenly to be certain everyone is safe while I process the change, just like if I were driving a car. Also like driving a car, stopping suddenly is unpleasant and a lot of effort, but the small adjustment to my direction I was planning to make is very easy. (Same goes for bikes honestly, or any other vehicle. That’s what the chair is, a vehicle.)

If we’re walking around together and need to get past some stairs, it’s nice if you come with me on the ramp, especially if that ramp is out of the way. It can be really isolating to have to go a different way than everyone else.

If we need to walk close together for whatever reason, you walking directly in front of me is best avoided if possible. Bumping into your heel with my metal footplate is going to be a lot more unpleasant for both of us than it would be if I were on my feet.

In general, you should let me speak for myself. It’s my joints that don’t work, not my brain or my voice. But. If someone else is being disrespectful, your voice is likely much more impactful than mine in that situation. Use it.

I’m not expecting anyone to memorize these things; as long as you’re treating disabled people like people, that’s enough. And if you want to do more than that but don’t know how, respectful questions are generally welcome. I just wanted to share these thoughts, for people who don’t live with them all the time. There are a lot of little differences to being seated all the time that you just don’t think about until you’re there.

Also, while I think most of this is generally true for anyone in a wheelchair, obligatory reminder that I speak only for myself.

[jmmelody]

sorry but there is nothing more romantic than enemies to lovers. literally nothing. it is you have seen me at my worst, and you make me my best. you have witnessed my anger and hatred and resentment, all of these vile, malignant emotions of mine, emotions once directed at you, and yet you love me regardless.

[jmmelody]

I’m in a YA Library-services focused class now (basically it’s a lot less “Teens like vampires!” and a lot more “Jesus fucking christ how did we get to the point where it is so socially ingrained in us to treat teenagers like shit”) and we’re on this module on teen space design in libraries and it’s like “Well, by including teenagers in the design process, we found that when it comes to spatial design, teenagers like lots of natural light, green and sustainable building praxis, clean, casual, and comfortable atmospheres,  interesting and appealing colors, and also absolutely bullshit furniture that even they have no idea how to sit on.”

So it’s like…

“Tell me… what do The Youths™ want?” 

“We still don’t know, but they seem to respond well to victorian fainting couches remodeled to look like they came out of that one time in the early 2000′s where our idea of futuristic was making everything look like it was made out of jell-o.” 

[jmmelody]

Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

[jmmelody]

“A lot of native speakers are happy that English has become the world’s global language. They feel they don’t have to spend time learning another language,” says Chong.

“But… often you have a boardroom full of people from different countries communicating in English and all understanding each other and then suddenly the American or Brit walks into the room and nobody can understand them.”

The non-native speakers, it turns out, speak more purposefully and carefully, typical of someone speaking a second or third language. Anglophones, on the other hand, often talk too fast for others to follow, and use jokes, slang and references specific to their own culture, says Chong. In emails, they use baffling abbreviations such as ‘OOO’, instead of simply saying that they will be out of the office.

“The native English speaker… is the only one who might not feel the need to accommodate or adapt to the others,” she adds.