kloverlane
klover
kloe | gay | tus manos me conocen bien <3
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Kiss me in public. Put your arm around me so people know I’m with you. Call me babe in front of our waiter. Pull me in because I’m just not quite close enough to you. Make me watch that one tv show that’s your guilty pleasure. Tell me your biggest fear and I’ll promise to protect you. Kiss me at red lights because if you don’t then I’ll kiss you. Show me the one song you can never listen to without crying. Don’t hide the tiny details about you. Because I’ll remember every one of them.
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I gave you every bit of me yet it still wasn't enough for you. I confided in you because I trusted you and boy was that a mistake. I stood by your side even if we only talked five minutes past midnight or when you got home at 1:00am.. Or when you didn't give me the time of day or as much effort as I put in or any at all, I was by your side. Bc I'd rather have those five minutes before you fall asleep than none at all. Because I'd rather see you tell me you love me every now and then than to hear it from another breathing soul. I wanted you with my entire heart and more, but no matter how hard I tried and convinced myself that we were okay, we weren't. For months we hadn't been and I tried talking to you. Damnit I fucking tried.. but every "I miss you" or serious talk involving how I felt lonely only ended with your laughter. You thought that I was kidding every time I brought it up when I wasn't. I wanted us to get better. I wanted us to united the way we did on our first date.. the immediate click and reassurance on everything. The way your hand held mine, the way you told me you loved me everyday, not just every now and then.. It's like my value to you deteriorated. I questioned my own self worth bc of someone who didn't value me. I wasn't the problem, she was. I went the extra mile, trying enough for the both of us. I'd remind her everyday on how much I loved and cared for her yet it wasn't enough. Sometimes she just wouldn't reply at all and it'd break my heart.. yet I still stayed. She'd tell me everything was okay but it wasn't. It was only okay from your point of view. fuck. We weren't okay. Everyday I tried talking to you to fix things and you just wouldn't, you didn't have the time to. When I broke up with you it's like the other half of my heart was missing. You take five years and flush them down the drain over something that could've been fixed if I was listened to, if you had just taken me serious instead of fucking laughing at me. We could've been together and stronger than ever but no.. I refuse to let myself feel that way again, to be treated anything less than a priority, & to be taken for granted. When we broke up you told me I was an asshole, that you tried talking to me, but what is there left to say when I spent months talking to you about the problem at hand. I tried with all I had and you didn't pay attention till it was too late, until you fucking realized that I wasn't gonna come back this time. Until you realized that I wouldn't put up with your bullshit anymore.. So don't be mad when I'm silent, don't be mad that I moved on, and certainly do not ever think you could get me back because you can't. I won't ever allow myself to go through that pain and agony again. I love you and I miss you, but I will never take you back or see you as I did. You broke my heart and made me into a person I couldn't even recognize when I looked in the mirror. Fuck you for hurting me but thank you for making me that much stronger than I'd ever thought I'd be.
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🔂 -k.n.s
I wish getting over someone didn’t take as long as it does. I wish there wasn’t the times when nastalgia hits and the reminiscing gets to a point where you’d do anything to be in that position again. Even if that position involved the most toxic human being ever created. Even if all you did was get hurt. Something about that person and the memories that lurk makes you want to go back and it’s sickening. Wanting what broke you. Wanting what was so unhealthy and toxic. Wanting what drove you into depression, something/someone that made you into such a cold hearted person due to actions. Having someone hurt you repeatedly is not acceptable, we deserve someone who’d give us A HUNDRED good days and only ONE bad, or better yet, none at all. We deserve unconditional love and to be a top priority. We deserve to receive the love we give. We deserve it all. My opinion.
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she just stood there doing this little dance until we got up
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