knights-unwelcommentary

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Dave: People talk about you when you're not around

Dave: And you've got to make peace with that

Rose: ...

Rose: Hate.

#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes

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[Mothman took my fry.]

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kaboom

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Plot bunny I’m never gonna turn into a fic cause I can’t figure out how to not gross myself out if I had to write it in detail:

-Going from the fact that termites can become reproductives if certain requirements are met and trolls have some similarities with termites

-A few years after settling into a domestic routine on Earth C Karkat starts acting weird (can’t tolerate warmth or light - even from lightbulbs - and is constantly snacking) and goes through a weird unscheduled molt that makes him a few sizes bigger than usual and of a brighter shade of gray instead of getting darker. Dave’s concerned

Keep reading

#Oh I had forgotten about this one #Still sounds like a fun concept

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I'll shut up now I think I might be sleep deprived and rambling about aimlessly

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It'd be funny if Bro's smuppet intended demographic was for people as weird as him but they ended up being a hit among normies and they don't even realize they're intentionally phallic

#homestuck

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I mean, Dave had access to Bro's computer and god knows the guy doesn't close his tabs nearly often enough, his bank details would be there. If he says bro makes a pretty penny out of those puppets I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for now, though it could be for a different reason than what he assumes. Maybe it's a money laundering scheme or something

i loooove unreliable narration i love when a character says something in confidence and we find out later that they were just like. fucking wrong. case in point dave understanding “my bro is rich” and “my bro makes weird puppet porn” and extrapolating “my bro got rich off weird puppet porn” leading to him calling smuppetry a “multi billion dollar enterprise” because he is thirteen even though WE know that bro was set up with a trust fund by jade’s grandpa and was implied to have worked for skaianet like the puppets are just his freakazoid hobby but it’s funny to have dave be FIRMLY convinced his brother is a billionaire due to puppet porn

#if the world weren't so fucked up #you'd make a run at fame and fortune with your own puppet enterprises #there's also Dirk's intro with that passage #plus Dave believes the plushrump site itself earns a few thousand the rest of Bro's sites don't make that much #while it's the smuppet enterprise the one that brings in the big bucks #not to say Dave's anything close to a reliable narrator but in this particular point he might be somewhat informed #wasn't the trust fund only mentioned in the skaianet fiasco? or did it come up again I don't really remember

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JOHN: the part about not being a homosexual!!! DAVE: john DAVE: dude i gotta say DAVE: when you talk about being or not being "a homosexual" you kinda sound like a corny old man

That time Dave ok grampa-ed John, you know the one

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That time Dave ok grampa-ed John, you know the one

#homestuck

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red scissors karkat and his dad since it was requested :]

karkat’s dad isn’t very old— he’s just very stressed lol

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I like to think this is how he dealt with all the trolls in the memos we didn't see where he actually managed to coordinate the team (the ones we did see were probably his worst ones for the hilarity factor)

this one conversation where karkat has to repeatedly remind john to stay on topic is so fucking funny. adhd icon

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did sollux ''voice of the doom'' thing includes lusus? it would be kinda fucked up knowing he is dying and ALSO his lusus are dying

Good question, I'm not sure of the answer but if he did how would he be able to differentiate his voice from any other bicyclops on the planet? Or even his own voice? People sound way different to others than to themselves so he might have not realized it was him that was going to die

Plus if his voice of doom thing has a huge range of effect it might have been hard to pick any voice up from among the millions of trolls screaming in his brain

#{talk homestuck to me}

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my personally headcanon is that low bloods aren't any less angry or violent than high bloods, they just have more to lose if they act out

Same, like just look at ghost Aradia, she was behaving the way that's typically expected of an Alternian high blood, but that's not her nature. She was doing whatever was necessary to win the game and had nothing else left going for her except frustration and the means to destroy stuff

#{talk homestuck to me}

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I like to think Bro was the opposite of buff. Looking at his kitchen there's no way that dude was eating enough protein to build muscle, regardless of the extreme ninja training

#homestuck

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I love kanaya