koishua

[koishua]

HIHI !!!! sorry if this seems random, my name is lizzie n i used to be a writer here on blr ( my user was @bunreis >__< ) & me n some other blr writers who are onedoors decided to make a gc on discord to sorta build a little onedoor community !!!! one of them mentioned u being a onedoor so i wanted to reach out n ask if u wanted to be added !!! the ppl who are in it currently is me, @okwons & @isoobie. no hard feelings if u don't wanna join or don't feel comfy doing so !!!! 💞

hi hi lovely!! nice to meet you hehe this is exciting!! i would love to join actually :( im not extremely active on discord but it would be amazing to have onedoor friends, so if you don't mind that, i'd love to 🍊🍊

#ii. ( pt ) —! asks

[koishua]

love how the chinese fans have big heads of little track terror charles with them 😭

#reblog! #imagine ppl thinking a fetus version of you was more intimidating slash monstrous than you now lmfao #tiny track terror is what he was indeed #IT'S THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO THE CAM AHAHHAHAHAHA #the mischief the glint of slight evil

[koishua]

#reblog! #RAHHHHH INDEED

[koishua]

lyn really wasn't playing when she wrote the outsider. "does it feel like there's somebody missing at the party or is everybody fine where they are? do you even care that im the only one not there or was forgetting me not really that hard? do i hate missing out or hate the thought of you not missing me? see it still when i close my eyes. i go back to those summer nights, driving fast down a dead end road, staying out past the afterglow. now you're laughing with someone new, doing things that we used to do and im just someone you used to know— the outsider of an inside joke."

#tp #ignore prev tags im just anxious haha

[koishua]

shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao

#tp #very mixed feelings. as someone who associates herself with jeongwoo and having very similar personalities... this ep hurt a lot #idk idk #i mean i get it but i also absolutely do not get it #so many thoughts im taking this very personally what the heck #i cant really warm up to half of this part's girlies im sorry #i loved everyone on part one #as someone who also struggles with managing my social energy lvls... this was a slap in the face #bc my boy jeongwoo truly gave it his ALL the whole day and even managed to perform a couple songs for the girls #despite already having spent the whole day together #and his energy must have been SPENT already and then they pick him as MVP of the day and he has that 1:5 date with all of the girls #by himself!! which is so terrifying imagine being the one person who everyone's attention is on and you have to interact with these ppl #that you arent very comfortable with but you still try your best to give them a good time #AND THEN!! they give you NOTHING in return?? not even a recorder?? no jewel no recording nothing. just ignored like that by everyone #and i get that the girls dont know who's voting for who so they might have believed someone else was gonna give him a jewel or sth #but no one gives him anything (positive OR negative) #and yeah. he was absolutely shocked at the empty safe. i would have been too. #and why did they not give him a jewel y'all might ask??? IT WAS BC HE FELL SILENT DURING THE LAST BIT: THE DINNER #my gosh that's the part that i take offense to personally bc it's really really really difficult to always engage in convos with ppl #after spending the whole day with them already?? and your social battery is down so you quietly enjoy a simple meal?? #and then all the girlies threw him away like that?? #i mean yeah you're surrounded by sweet men who spend the day appealing themselves to you but come on?? #i would have been so impressed by jeongwoo and thankful that he put that much effort in and would understand how difficult it is to #maintain it till the very end because not everyone has hyunsuk's boundless social energy #no offense hyunsuk i love you dearly #and also??? what's up with admitting that you lack some confidence upfront?? #the girl's reasoning for giving yoshi the voice recorder was that he said he holds himself to a high standard and lacks confidence sometimes #and i get it. being confident is more attractive than someone who's always insecure and puts themselves down #(and makes the other person uncomfortable) but they were having an honest and deep convo when the thing he said in that convo was used #against him in the end? i would feel kind of betrayed too bc being able to admit that you feel insecure sometimes is a v brave thing to do!!

[koishua]

queen of tears spoilers!!

identity is above all else, it seems like. ep 14 of queen of tears ruined me in all the good ways. when the question is "do you want to die as yourself?" vs "are you willing to live at the cost of who you are as a person?", the ultimate answer hae-in gives is no. she'd rather come to peace with the prospect of death with all of her memories of loving and, in turn, being loved coming with her. the death of memories is more painful than the death of her life itself. hyunwoo begging and sobbing in her arms does not deter her, however much she wants to keep on living. as herself. keep on living as the hong hae-in who loved dearly and who was loved, desperately so.

a loss of identity is death to everything that ever had a hand in helping her become who she is now. this brings me to the phrase "death is for the living". the dead do not mourn or face the aftermath of their last breath in the world of the living. the living, those who are left behind, are the ones who truly know what death is. so it is painful when hyunwoo, the man who isn't struck with the terminal illness bound to take her life any time soon, begs almost on his knees for hae-in, the woman who's counting the seconds left she has to live, to give up her sense of self. it's understandable how both of them stand strong in their desires. one fears becoming a stranger to all that she loves and one fears becoming familiar to life without the one he cannot live without. so he does everything in his power to have her take the surgery (all effort is in vain, she will not give up her identity).

i love this episode so much. im still only halfway through it but i had to give my two cents. such a beautifully tragic dilemma of two people who love. one loves by wanting to remember, one loves by giving everything to make her live. have a taste of love again for the first time. he says that he'll be the first person she'll meet and get to know again after the surgery. that he will still be there for her when she wakes up a completely different, empty, and lost person. he wants her to live, does not care if she'll ever even be able to reconnect with him ever again. he believes that she deserves to wake up another day and smile. to still be able to make new memories.

in the end they're both very selfish people who love selflessly.

edit: help me my stomach hurts from laughing so hard oml not him using his face and body card to annoy her into living. using jealousy as a mean to motivate her to take the freaking surgery and live ugh im in tears ahhahahah i love how if she doesn't become convinced the first few times when he's nice, he just intentionally pisses her off or annoys her into doing things to help herself 😭😭 thr only way to get hae-in motivated to live: make her mad at himself and have her do beneficial things out of sheer SPITE

edit 2: NO WHAT THE FOUK JUST HAPPENED POOR HYUNWOO OH MY GOD the way he lost all strength in his knees my god he crumbled in front of her feet he got a taste of what losing her felt like with that massive crash im still in shock i can't imagine having to witness that and trying to get through the car window to help save her and then not find her there?? and then she appears unscathed thankfully and he feels like a bucket of ice cold water drops over his head??? man they have to be so much more careful from now on bc the amount of yandereism the other guy is exhibiting ugh and the evil mother saying she'll help him out with "i can't stop till the moment i die" wtf??? OMG SHE'S GETTING THE SURGERY WHAT WHAT WHAT "i promised i would never make you cry after we get married" WOMAN HE'S BEEN SOBBING HIS SOUL OUT EVERY EPISODE SINCE!!!! 😭😭 ALSO NOOOOO NOT MY BOY SOOCHEOL GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN I CANT TAKE IT PLS MAKE HIM HAPPY WITH HIS LITTLE FAMILY I WILL CRYYYYYYYY he's gonna have MAJOR trust issues lmfao

#tp #cinema time! #queen of tears #my gut is telling me she won't forget a single thing lmfao #NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF #WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO NO NO NO NO #I KNEW IT THINGS WERE GOING WAY TOO SMOOTHLY I FUCKING KNEW IT YOU FUCKING BIIIITCHHHH YOU ASSHOLE YOU #OH MY GOD YOU EVIL FUCKING GREMLIN I CANT I CANT I KNEW IT I WAS TOO OPTIMISTIC I FUCKING KNEW IT #HAE-IN MY GIRLIE POP PLEASE I KNOW YOU CAN RECOGNIZE THE EVIL IN HIS EYES THAT AIN'T YOUR MAN #the end of this episode is fr hyunwoo's villain arc he's had eNOUGH #yoon eunseok you fucking bitch fight me

[koishua]

"no dw he's super friendly!!" after i was pounced on by a massive dog that im not familiar with 🧍🧍

#tp #ma'am do you not see the bag and suitcase im hurriedly pulling behind me???? do i look like i CARE if your dog is friendly?? #get it off me oml #today has been eventful. awful cramps + travelling back to work + exam stress + bus only once an hour bc it's sunday #so i had to drag my bags with me walking for twenty minutes which isn't bad but i was on a time crunch and my train was gonna arrive soon #and this dog jumps on me and the owner can barely hold it back #and the train ends up coming in five minutes late (pretty standard DB behaviour) #AND it's filled to the brim with middle aged smokers all pushing each other to get to the big soccer game #i hate match days. so much. all of the streets become clogged and a three minute underground train becomes a forty five minutes struggle #plus EVERYONE and their mothers are smoking and it stinks and burns #sick and tired of the yellow and black merch y'all iykyk

[koishua]

omg the mixing for this weekend's coachella perf is so much better?????? GO FIMMIES GO GO GO

#tp #they look so much more comfortable the sound engineers have it SO hard but this is leaps ahead of last weekend!! #the playback is nicely placed too so they dont seem as much out of breath this was what i wanted ahhhhh #SSAMU AHHHHHHHHHHH #got through fearless so well yesssss #EVERYTHING is infinitely better this weekend #even the camerowork god bless #'whos the one with the blonde bob?' MINE. THAT'S WHO SHE IS SHUT UP GET AWAY #1-800-HOT&FUN DIAL ITTTTT #OMG UNFORGIVEN'S INTRO??????? #i LOVEDDDD perfect night omg #second week is so so so good im so relieved

[koishua]

rate your moots on how delulu they are for their bias(es)

everyone is clinically insane, delusional and needs to be hospitalised there i said it no one who's willingly on this site has a normal relationship with their idols and honestly good for us 🫶🫶

#ii. ( pt ) —! anon asks #ask games! #if you see this and think 'gasp!!' you're the same too 🍊🍊

[koishua]

is a loss of ability more painful than the loss of identity?

#tp #sth ive been wondering since yesterday bc is being some kind of a cripple more debilitating than losing all of your memories up till now? #would i rather not know how i've lived my life this far and have to rebuild every bridge from the beginning with a gaping hole in my last #or would it be easier to lose the ability to walk with one leg instead of losing all of my memories permanently? #the dilemma in queen of tears is loss of all memories vs death but losinf all memories is essentially a death as well #imagine waking up one day and you're thirty years old and you don't even know who you are?

[koishua]

today's queen of tears episode epilogue hurt like a biiiii**h

#tp #THE MONOLOGUE I WAS CRAVINGGGGGGGG #this hurts so badly i love it #please he is so devastated ;-; #he cant live without her in the most literal sense i love this angst i love it

[koishua]

HIS HIGH NOTESSSSS MANNNNN it was crazy. Truly crazy🫠 like i knew my man was a fan ever since he went to the concert w seunghun but this was still a shocking cover to me 🤕

IMAGINEEEE imagine a woodz collab that would be insane actually it shakes me to my core the thought alone!!

#ii. ( pt ) —! asks

[koishua]

YESYES THAT!!! jihoons voice suits this type of music so much istg 🫠🫠 he should do more rock type of sound definitely ugh my favorite emo boy

actually!!!! out of anyone in trsr i think he'd be the one to have the first solo album ugh he just has that underground k-artist vibe to him and drowning suits him SO well 😭😭 the way he came in with that GRIT for the choruses my LORD

#ii. ( pt ) —! asks

[koishua]

did u see jihoon woodz cover.

DO YOU MEAN DROWNING BC YES I DID SEE IT I CHOKED ON MY TEARS

#ii. ( pt ) —! asks #my GOD I CRIED REAL TEARSSSS #OUR TWO WOOOOORLDDDSSS

[koishua]

closest moots on blr?

@mosviqu my tumblr sister friend mother everything at once tbh we've stayed strong for years atp </3 not even far in age but it still feels like i was raised by her blog at some point and then by HER bar ily we even had two kids together (thinking about reviving blank journal? also k-mystics my little yellow abomination)

@kyuzuberri my little sister i want to adopt so badly i would move mountains for her my dear tumblrinas pls always be nice to her y'all i genuinely want to be with her irl but we're continents apartttt ;-; kyuzu ily bby (my rock actually)

@atrirose i always feel like bullying her is that my love language?? ily my precious i will bite your ankles we've been mooties for a WHILE now but got a lot closer this year i feel like 🤭🤭 i mean this in the nicest way possible but you have a very punchable cutie patootie image in my mind i LOVE talking with you always

@lebrookestore my fellow soldier we've gone through so much on this site im her biggest fan fr i don't even remember when we became friends but it was at the very beginning of the pandemic i feel like?? idk idk imy ily i always think of you. big slay big purr for brooke omg im getting emotional thinking bout the good ol' times :')

@i-luvsang my soulmate ;-; this is the emoji i always use whenever it's about ria bc that's actually me irl whenever i see her im so happy so so happy she's been my friend for so long ughhh if im a sunflower then she's my sun she's the light and guide of my life there's no one like maria for me i hope everybody knows this

@wonfilms not me having the best y/n moments with my favs who turn into my friends ahhhhhh she was the coolest ever ever ever and then she became MY coolest ever ever ever?? mine ppl back off we've been moots for a good while too now that i think about it hehe

bonus @bywons in a very funny way i have to cackle every time but it's a secret she's my little secret ily sru precious always

#ii. ( pt ) —! anon asks #ask games! #i hope no one goes wtf why did she tag me?? dhfhfhhf 😭😭 #i love all of my mooties my beautiful precious tumblrinas #but these are the people i talk to most often or who i have been friends with since the beginning of time!! #since the beginning of 2021 haha

[koishua]

#tp #what the actual hell is going on im dizzh what is happening in which dimension have i landed in #I SAID BACK TF AWAY #KIM TAERAE WHAT THE FOUK #THIS ONE'S FOR ME!! FOR ME I SAID EVERYONE #iiii. taeraevision #i want to kiss his beautiful forehead

[koishua]

also treasure coachella when?? that festival DESPERATELY needs a yg group oml or lollapalooza pls pls pls they're the ultimate ultimate performers!!!!

#tp