langitimajiner

[langitimajiner]

ah, betapa tidak berdayanya akar rumput di negeri ini

diinjak-injak dan dijadikan loncatan untuk naik ke tahta,

dan jika tumbuh kelewat tinggi, ditebas dan dianggap hama.

ingin kudoakan mereka terpeleset tanah yang licin dan tersungkur dengan memalukan;

namun kala kulihat sekeliling, semuanya kering kerontang.

kita hanya akar rumput yang menanti hujan di tengah musim kemarau,

dan alih-alih disiram,

kita dipaksa bersyukur karena masih dibiarkan hidup.

ah, betapa tidak berdayanya akar rumput yang diiming-imingi air dan kemudian ditinggalkan dalam kemarau selama lima tahun.

[langitimajiner]

she were a winter;

the cold breeze stiffen me, my tears froze up into icicles.

now that the winter finally comes to summer, the glacier in me start to melt into rivers.

—so i shall grow beds of flowers for the spring to come.

#inspired by young k's let it be summer #mother #daughter

[langitimajiner]

kapten,

bahkan ketika badai mulai menggulung dan ombak mulai meninggi,

aku dibuat hancur dan nyaris mati,

dan masih tetap seorang diri.

-

an excerpt from "karam"; full text

#original post #poetry

[langitimajiner]

once, your fingertip grazes mine—

it was unintentional, you never meant it.

yet the warmth is still lingering around me for years.

my heart feels like a haunted house

with the made-up you in my imagination;

and i am holding on to the memories

that we never made along the way.

#original post #poetry #tldr; being delulu is one of my coping mechanism

[langitimajiner]

i never realized how could a blank page be so terrifying.

it feels like my head is spiraling into madness everytime i tried to write something.

i sit in the dead night,

but those evil thoughts are screaming inside my head.

those evil thoughts, those damned train of 'what-if's;

what if i can't finish them / what if i got scolded / what if i failed / what if i am late / is it too late / what is the point of everything

i slam to my keyboard,

wishing to silence the storm within.

#tell me where to put them down

[langitimajiner]

i am still not ready to welcome a soft soul.

my heart is still burning with rage;

their water might be a fuel to fire,

their beings might be got hurt from the flame.

i am trying hard to extinguish the blazing rage in me,

yet sometimes the flare still snaps.

my warmth is not an apricity;

it schorches your skin and boils your blood and guts.

[langitimajiner]

just a man,

i'm not a hero.

—My Chemical Romance, Welcome to the Black Parade

[langitimajiner]

the nights of drowning in my own sea of guilt—

gasping, choking—

and no one will hear me under the sea

so i have to swim my way back to the surface

even when no one teaches me how to swim.

[langitimajiner]

put me to a long, dreamless sleep.

[langitimajiner]

my heart feels empty;

but i am drowning in it.

[langitimajiner]

my heart gotten too soft for mother,

to the point that i'm tired of crying.

either it's because of love or pain,

or maybe because i love her too much

that it left scars on my heart.

[langitimajiner]

siapapun manusia di dunia ini, layak untuk berbahagia atas keringatnya sendiri.

entah ia tukang parkir yang menghidupi keluarganya; entah ia kuli bangunan yang lembur tiap malam untuk biaya obat orang tuanya; entah ia freelancer yang harus menbayar biaya kuliahnya sendiri; entah ia pegawai yang sedang menabung untuk membeli rumah bagi keluarga kecilnya.

sekecil apapun, jangan lupa untuk berikan apresiasi kecil atas dirimu sendiri yang sudah berjuang sekuat tenaga demi bisa menghidupi orang-orang yang kamu cintai.

#selama kita bisa tahu batasan antara apresiasi dan pemborosan

[langitimajiner]

peony blooms in my garden;

i let them flourish beautifully

until i realized that they're a threat;

a pest for the ecosystem

i kill them, i kill them all

a gentle rain pouring for the heart aches.

[langitimajiner]

i, involuntarily, letting my freedom to ruin and destroy me.

[langitimajiner]

i wont hold you back

time throws us along

and there is never just one future plan

our lifetime dreams aren't bound

—so be on your way.

#Spotify

[langitimajiner]

knock on my heart, knock on them softly

for i am scared of heavy stomps and loud banging

do not barge in, or i will run away

call my name softly, and i will hear you

i will take a peek on the window,

and let you wait for some minutes—

you are free to leave on your own, by the way

but if you insist, please knock on them once again; softly

i do not need those bread and roses

you just have to come with gentle steps

and i will open them up for you;

with baked chips and warm chocolates and smell of sunflowers across the room.

[langitimajiner]

somehow it seems like

as i am getting older

my craving of validations is getting bigger

(is that okay that i want more?)