lovely-poison1

[lovely-poison1]

I don’t really know how to put this into words but, I just wish me and him could be pure. Ya’ know? There is absolutely no way for us to have a true, pure, happy relationship. I’ve been groomed before, as well as SAed, and I hate that, if Blue was to return my feelings, he'd be no better than the people that’ve hurt me. But also, I feel that, by having these thoughts, by hoping he likes me, that I kinda deserve what happened to me. I don't know how to else to explain, but I just feel like somehow having a crush on a older guy makes me less deserving of feeling sad or gross about my previous abuse. I just feel so guilty and ashamed. It's awful.

#vent post #tc community #tc struggles #male teacher crush #trama dump #tw sexual Assault #grooming #Past grooming #Teacher crush

[lovely-poison1]

I guess I show maybe start this off with a Introduction;

I'm a boy and you can call me Aries(Obviously not my real name)

And my current teacher crush is Blue.

And my past teacher crush(who don’t think I'm ever be over) is Green.

I have Blue for math, and I swear everything he does makes my heart beat faster. I rarely ever talk to him because I’m so scared I'll let it slip that I like him, I also suck at math so I always worry he thinks I'm stupid.

I had Green in history until I changed schools. Just thinking about him makes me feel awful. I still see him from time to time, we live in the same town still and it's rather small so sometimes he comes over to my current school to help out or be a sub, and also just sometimes we see each other at stores and such. I miss him so much but there’s no real way for him to be in life.

#tc blog #teacher crush #teacher x student #male teacher crush #Male teacher x male student #tc crush #tc struggles #tc community