lucasthecoffeshopguy

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

the question is though, does voldemort somehow choose to have a monstrous snake body or did he simply get blessed upon his rebirth (did he choose to have 2 dicks or was he chosen to have 2 dicks)

#okay yes you're so right

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

it ended up looking a lot better! I got all of his million lego sets somewhat consolidated and put in their proper places, and I got him to do 2 whole loads of laundry. the floor is also visible now! adhd win

I'm helping my brother clean his room because older sister stuff, but holy shit he has so many cool lego sets that I just didn't know he had. what a waste to hide them in his closet and just have them lying around!! I might be able to help him display stuff today though

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

if it was about 15 years ago i’d already have seen 12 different AMVs of chimera falin set to three days grace animal i have become on my feed but that just doesn’t happen anymore. because of woke

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

Originally put this in a message to someone but I'm still salty so I'm posting it here too.

I just keep thinking about how Dumbledore is presented as this great advocate for equality and justice in the Wizarding World but what does he actually do? For example, it's said he "opposed" the killing of the last giants in Britain (implying there was a state sanctioned genocide btw) but like...how did he oppose it? Dumbledore does not care about respecting the Ministry or following the law when it doesn't suit him ad he is also tremendously powerful and essentially has his own private army. (Not to mention that until Voldemort's second reign it seems he was generally respected and influential in the Ministry and held a lot of sway there). So if he really wanted to stop it, he could've done a lot but it sort of seems as though he was more like 'oh no...don't do that...oh well...'

And there are so many other instances like this. He says Sirius was wrong to mistreat Kreacher but did he even once try to intervene? Does he ever make a rule saying that using slurs like "Mudblood" is against the rules? He has full control of the Hogwarts curriculum until 5th year but does he make Muggle Studies mandatory to expose Purebloods to information that could prevent their radicalization into anti-Muggle organizations? Does he try to get legislation passed to prevent the wanton use of spells on Muggles to modify or wipe their memories despite the risks of such magic? No! He does none of these things.

He seems pretty happy to let the status quo be and focuses mainly on Tom Riddle - who he has been bizarrely fixated on in a kind of disturbing way since the first time they met - while ignoring the larger, systemic problems in wizarding society and doing little to aid the groups he claims to represent.

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

Alright Harry Potter people, you know what I want?

I want a Wrong Boy-who-lived au that goes a little something like this:

Neville and Harry are being watched by Peter, giving their parents a little break to get out of the house for a few hours. Voldemort attacks and Harry survives, not because of his mother’s sacrifice, but because his mother went looking for something to protect her baby by any means possible and ended up doing a blood ritual to protect him.

The house blows up and some of the debris gives Neville a V shaped scar and everyone assumes that’s what the prophecy meant by “mark him as an equal” so he’s hailed as the boy-who-lived.

Now unlike many other boy-who-lived fics, this is not a bashing fic. Neville does not grow up to be a little monster, he’s just rightfully confident in his abilities. James and Lily don’t hate Harry for not being the child of prophecy, as a matter of fact, they’re glad…. At least, James is glad.

Lily is terrified, because she knows.

She felt it the moment the ritual was activated and rushed them all back playing it off as mother’s intuition because the ritual may not have been all that legal.

She knows who Voldemort actually targeted and she knows what the lightning bolt on her son’s forehead means, but she tells no one. Not even James. If she says it out loud then it becomes real, and Voldemort’s gone, right? It shouldn’t matter? She’s just giving her son a normal childhood, what’s wrong with that?

And then it continues in someway like that with both Harry and Neville being raised by loving parents as godbrothers until Hogwarts where things start happening

#this is such an amazing concept omg

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

Alright Harry Potter people, you know what I want?

I want a Wrong Boy-who-lived au that goes a little something like this:

Neville and Harry are being watched by Peter, giving their parents a little break to get out of the house for a few hours. Voldemort attacks and Harry survives, not because of his mother’s sacrifice, but because his mother went looking for something to protect her baby by any means possible and ended up doing a blood ritual to protect him.

The house blows up and some of the debris gives Neville a V shaped scar and everyone assumes that’s what the prophecy meant by “mark him as an equal” so he’s hailed as the boy-who-lived.

Now unlike many other boy-who-lived fics, this is not a bashing fic. Neville does not grow up to be a little monster, he’s just rightfully confident in his abilities. James and Lily don’t hate Harry for not being the child of prophecy, as a matter of fact, they’re glad…. At least, James is glad.

Lily is terrified, because she knows.

She felt it the moment the ritual was activated and rushed them all back playing it off as mother’s intuition because the ritual may not have been all that legal.

She knows who Voldemort actually targeted and she knows what the lightning bolt on her son’s forehead means, but she tells no one. Not even James. If she says it out loud then it becomes real, and Voldemort’s gone, right? It shouldn’t matter? She’s just giving her son a normal childhood, what’s wrong with that?

And then it continues in someway like that with both Harry and Neville being raised by loving parents as godbrothers until Hogwarts where things start happening

#this is such an amazing concept omg

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

i love the term "unwell"... theres something very very wrong with you. not saying what tho

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

Came back wrong

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

sebaciel is like what if they made a shotacon yaoi with no explicit gay sex but there's also just so much gay sex

#sebaciel #black butler

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

kuro adaptations never had like particularly fun names but they were trying a bit with like “book of murder” “book of the atlantic” but then the new one is like fuck you, it’s the public school arc, you know what this is

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

"SLYTHERIN!" The silence from the Great Hall could be heard by all the students, all the staff. No one clapped. Harry Potter, most likely unaware of the gaping looks his peers are shooting him and the studies of his co-workers he's currently on the receiving end of, practically skips to the Slytherin table in his new green cut robes. The Slytherins that see the boy approach where they sit quickly move away. The eleven-year old makes himself home in the deserted place on the table. Severus is very tempted to slam his head on the table.

a fic I'm working on <3

I'm still working out all the kinks and stuff but I've always wanted to write a fic that includes slytherin harry

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

define hole / is a hole a real thing? / Marco Poloni, Black Hole, from The Majorana Experiment, 2010 / Flatfields Fotografien / What We Talk About When We Talk About Holes / Dark (2017-2020) / post / Disco Elysium / Twin Peaks: The Return (2017) / Donnie Darko (2001) / Outer Range (2022) / Kaveh Akbar, from “The Miracle,” Pilgrim Bell / post / Weizmann Institute of Science / Mathworld / post / post / post / post / Anne Boyer, from “Woman Sitting at the Machine,” in A Handbook of Disappointed Fate / Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords / Dennis Patrick Slattery, The Wounded Body: Remembering the Markings of Flesh / The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, Caravaggio, 1601–1602 (detail) / The Incredulity of St. Thomas, Bernardo Strozzi, 1582-1644 (detail) / Don McKay, from “Twinflower,” Field Marks: The Poetry of Don McKay, intro. Méira Cook (Wilfrid Laurier University Press, 2006) / thierryetherve / Pathologic / post / Gregory Orr, from How Beautiful the Beloved / Tomas Tranströmer, tr. by Robert Bly, from a poem titled “Track” / Disco Elysium / Anne Carson, Economy of the Unlost / Pathologic 2 / Jonas Burgert, Sand brennt Blatt (2010) / Disco Elysium / Carl Phillips, from “Givingly”, Wild is the Wind / from “The Man With a Hole in His Head” by Rick Bursky / Rosario Castellanos, ‘Memorandum on Tlatelolco’ (tr. Maureen Ahern) / post / Pathologic / The Juniper Tree (Nietzchka Keene | 1990) / John Banville, Eclipse / Twin Peaks / Disco Elysium / VectorStock / True Detective / Night in the Woods

#harrymort

[lucasthecoffeshopguy]

Comic strip artists from the 40’s draw their characters while blindfolded