luceafarul-de-dimineata

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

"Don't like don't read" is a sentence that works in theory. If you do not enjoy a piece of media, stop watching it. But it's almost never used for that reason. When people have honest critisism of media or when something that is very triggering appears without warning, people have the right to be upset and call attention to it.

This argument doesn't work because people have as much of a right to critisise something as to praise it. You can say that people that don't like a card shouldn't pull for it and that's that, but the problem is that PB continues to add very sensitive subject matters with absolutely no warning beforehand.

I'm not demanding that PB add trigger warnings for everything in the game, but stuff like pedophilia, child abuse and rape (all things that have been in soms way shown in whb) come out of nowhere and of course they upset some people. Imagine buying the angel cards because you like the characters and finding out that Mc rapes the angels. I would be upset too.

Even in the context of the argument, "don't like, don't read" started on fanfiction sites where you had tags! Tags that would let you know what was going on in the story! What in Hell is bad doesn't have tags.

This is just making me feel disgusted especially the wording???

To say ‘childish’ jealousy to describe a character who’s an adult in a NSFW environment whose just wears school clothes…eww

Then CHILDRENS DAY SETTING??? FOR A PORN GAME?????

Not only that, the casual admitings to Levithan trying to manipulate our memories, the bitch still owes us an apology for nearly killing us 3X in the first 30 MINUTES HE KNEW US

I liked this because it’s a dating have WITH NO FUCKING SCHOOLS INVOLVED JESUS CHRIST

Why does every dating game have desgustibg shit in schools now??? What the fuck can we just not for a few games??? NO SCHOOL, NO COLLEGE JUST BEING ADULTS!

#sorry if I sound aggressive #but the argument of don't like don't read is the most fundamently dump thing ever #you know when someone uses it that they have no arguments but still want you to shut up about your criticism

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Lucifer NSFW alphabet

Aftercare

what they're like after sex

He's a lot softer after sex and he'll take all the measures necessary to make you feel comfortable. He's a doctor, so he knows how to patch you up. Asks Buer to make the two of you tea since it helps relax.

Body Part

their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's

His favorite body part used to be his wings, but now it's his fangs. He likes the effect they have on you and how he's the only one, Heaven or Hell, to have them so pronounced

His favorite body part on you are your eyes. Not only can they cry so pretty, but they also show your true feelings. As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. (Plus he has a thing for eye contact and seing himself in the reflection of your eyes, but that's a post for another day)

Cum

anything to do with cum, basically

His cum has healing properties so you always feel better after he cums on/inside you. If you want, he'll give you a bottle of his cum to use as cream when you're hurt, since you already love drinking it from a bottle so much.

Also, if you can get pregnant, he'll be very worried about possibly leaving you with a baby, so he takes birth control pills religiously.

Dirty secret

pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

He had a threesome with Adam and Eve where he actually came in Adam's ass. He'll never admit this, not even to God.

The second time he decided to visit humanity, he found a cult that worshiped him and he still finds the idea of mortals praying to him arousing.

Experience

how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?

Bro participated in orgies, he knows how sex works. Though, after he fell from Heaven, he stopped having sex. Not because he's practicing chastity or anything, but the oportunity never showed itself.

Also, he knows how to have sex with angels, but he's never done it with a human before. So he might assume that you can take as much as an angel. It's fine, he's a fast learner so he won't overstimulate you... that much.

Favorite position

this goes without saying

He doesn't have one, but he hates all the positions where he has to lay on his back. He also likes holding your hands while you fuck because he knows you'll try to pull on his wings and he doesn't trust you. Other than that, he has no favorites.

Goofy

are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?

Even if he tried to tell a joke, his voice is so monotone that you couldn't tell. He'll also be very confused if you started cracking jokes in the middle of sex. He never laughs, he just looks at you with a bewildered and partly judgemental look on his face.

Hair

how well groomed are they?

We are in headcanon territory, so, I think angels don't have hair, they only have feathers. Their "hair" is actually fluff that baby birds have. So, in conclusion, I think Lucifer's dick is fluffy.

Intimacy

how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect

He would prefere doing anything else but sex to show you how much he loves you. He'll be more sensual and take things slow because he has no reason to rush. No matter how hard he tries to act like one of those porn stars you so admire, you always get the impression that he's mildly bored. He's only doing this because you like sex and he likes you, so, in part, it is true.

Jack Off

masturbation headcanons

He doesn't masturbate. He just doesn't see the use in it. If he's feeling horny he'll just call you over and have an actual passionate night of sex. Why would he bother jacking off when he has you for that.

Kink

one or more of their kinks

Dacryphilia, that one is canon, but I also think he has a thing for overstimulation. Will make you cum until you cry and ask him to stop and depending on his mood he may or may not listen. He usually doms because it's in his nature to do so, but he might indulge you once he likes you enough. When he subs he only accepts praise, the moment you degrade him he just bitch slaps you and leaves. He's not a prideful bitch, he just knows his worth/s

Location

favorite place to do the do

His garden. It's pretty, it's outdoors, you get some fresh air. He's probably really into botony so he'll show you plants as he fucks you. He also really likes the texture of grass, more so than his bed, so this is where you're having sex.

Motivation

what turns them on, gets them going

Seeing you cry especially if it's from something he did. Being a doctor and checking up on you as he randomly takes blood samples or gives you jabs that he refuses to eleborate on. His ideal partner is someone that's afraid of medical supplies. He likes scaring you, making you cry before saving you with an embrace while he coos about how brave you were.

No

Something they wouldn't do, turn offs

Getting called "daddy" or "brother" during sex is his biggest turn off. He had to deal with an incestous brother, please don't remind him of him.

Oral

preference in giving or recieving, skills, etc.

I preferes the idea of recieving, but he doesn't want to hospitalise you, so he'll be giving for most of the relationship. He's very good at giving as well, but he's a little shit about it. He never gives you full tongue treatment, you only get small kitten licks and nothing more. He'll give you a gynaecology/andrology check up since he's already there.

Pace

are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?

He likes it slow. He drags out the forplay, usually it lasts more than the actual sex and then fucks you swiftly. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't be rough because his dick is twice the amount a human can take. He hates rushing, let him take his time.

Quickie

their opinions on quickies, how often

He's very against quickies. He likes to take his time, and if something urgent needs to be attended to soon, he'll push you away and deal with that before even considering having sex. The prep for sex with him is 3/4 of the sex experience, why would you want to pass it.

Risk

are they willing to experiment? Do they take risks?

It depends. He might experiment with some kinks if you express interest in them, but nothing too extreme. If you insist on doing extreme stuff with him, he'll just pay someone from Abaddon to do it. No, he won't let you step on his cock, he already has erectile disfunction.

Stamina

how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

He gets tired after speaking for 3 minutes, he has the stamina of a malnurished sloth. He's mostly fucking you out of professional obligation, so he'll give you one or two turns of action, about 5 minutes each and then he does the after care. If he's feeling very horny, and I mean very horny, he'll make sure that not even his cum can cure your soreness, but he lacks that motivation 9/10.

Toys

do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partener or themselves

Do needles and jabs count as sex toys? He doesn't use them often, but he does sometimes indulge in that fantasy. He can also tie you up like he does to Marbas if you want. He'll never use toys on himself because he considers them ungodly. But if they please you, sure enough.

Unfair

how much they like to tease

Honey, teasing is the sex when you're with Lucifer. You better have an hour free in your scheduel just for the forplay. It's his favorite part of the experience because he gets to do stuff that isn't 100% sexual while being sexual enough that they please you.

Volume

how loud are they? What sounds do they make?

His very quiet, to the point that you sometimes doupt he's enjoying himself. When he does makes sounds, usually when he's close, he'll groan or choke, before realeasing with a melodic moan. He also shooes and gives you orders about what to do. He doesn't like a partner that's very loud, only Gamigin has the green card when it comes to being noisy.

Wildcard

a random headcanon for the character

Lucifer is a sex neutral asexual. He doesn't experience sexual attraction and he only has sex if someone else that he likes asks him to. He doesn't see the hype around it, and sex is the least important part of a relationship for him.

X-ray

let's see what's going on under those clothes

I'll be honest with you, I've never seen a penis in real life, I have no idea how those usually look like. His dick is 30 cms, I'm not sure that's physicly possible, but who knows. Wouldn't a dick that big be uncomfortable to live with? I am very confused. Just imagine a baguette and boom, that's his dick.

Yearning

How high is their sex drive

Nonexistent. Before he met you, he only had sex during the annual angel orgies because it was tradition. It's not that he hates sex, but as stated above, he just has no interest in it. When you see naked people daily for your job, you stop being excited by nudeness.

Zzz

how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

He only falls asleep after he makes sure you did. Usually sleeps in a seperate room from you, but, after he gets attached, he'll insist that you cuddle in your sleep.

#what the hell is bad #whb #whb lucifer #whb smut #I am projecting #and I think lucifer is asexual #I'll fight everyone over this

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

I love how everyone headcanoned Lucifer as a soft virgin boy. And when he was released we find out that he participated in the annual angel orgies

Mc: Aww you poor innocent summer child, let me show you how it's done

Lucifer: I have twice your age years of experience.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb lucifer #lucifer's whole existence is a joke #and it's very funny

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Working on my first NSFW post.

Please don't laugh, I will cry...

#it's a nsfw alphabet thing #“with who?” you may ask #I wonder which character LUCEAFARUL DE DIMINEATA would write about #mystery of the ages #it's clearly Orias

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Rating Avisos nobles on how eatable is their cooking

Naberius follows the instructions religiously which makes his food the perfect mix between taste and lack of side effects. He's very humble about his skills, but he's very willing to cook for you and his tail would be wagging as he accepts your praise with a blush. 10/10 would eat his pasta

Stolas only bakes and he rarely does that. His sweets are nice, he clearly has some culinary talent and you won't be getting any nasty side effects. He only cooks for people he's very close to and he expects you do the same for him. He might have trust issues with food, but he'll trust you once. 9/10 very good especially if you have a sweet tooth.

Beelzebub is a great cook, his food is adictively tasty and he's willing to share it with anyone, it's just that the side effects are varied and plentiful. And you know that if you refuse his cooking he'll start pouting and giving you puppy eyes while saying some shit like "But I cooked it just for you...". 7/10 I would never trust this man with my diet.

Amon doesn't cook often and when he does the kitchen ends up a mess. He likes messing up recipes, sometimes just because he forgot to add an ingredient, other times just so he can annoy Naberius. He loves cooking with his s/o because it's a bonding activity that ends with a nice meal and the both of you covered in flour with small burns on your hands. He gets horny from seeing the scene and he's so glad that after the sex you have food to munch on. Best day of his life. Either 4/10 if you're the one cleaning the kitchen after him or 10/10 if you're cooking with him.

Bael... he made Stolas hiccup bubbles from one of his meals... 1/10 ban this man from the kitchen. At least Beelzebub's cooking tastes nice.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb naberius #whb stolas #whb beelzebub #whb amon #whb bael #I started to like amon more recently #I always thought he was hot #but he never interested me #until recently #thank you ankiezbitez #I hope I didn't misspelle that

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Hi, I apologize if I'm being annoying but I love your shipping au and I was thinking of something and wanted to tell you

What if once the shipp that is most trending is MC x the worst possible noble of that country. Like, people notice mc has a lot of chemistry with glasya or bimet and instead of a king there is now a whole thread talking about how mc should stay with the noble instead of the king? I think it would be really funny

Oh, I love this. Mc that has terrible taste in men is so real.

*Glasylabolas posts a photo of him kissing Mc*

Glasylabolas: Task failed succesfully

Foras: I'm glad you like the dead so much because there's no way you're going to keep on living after this

Barbatos: I'm preparing the candles

Glasylabolas: It's fineeeeee I made it so only people that follow me can see it. His majesty Leviathan doesn't follow anyone.

Dantalian: BROOOOOOOO THIS IS SO COOOOOOL

Glasylabolas: I know, right? The child of Solomon is my significant other now. Everyone else can go cry about it.

Dantalian: You'll be sharing with your bestie, right

Dantalian: 🥹👉👈

Glasylabolas: Of course

Dantalian: Yepeeeee

Glasylabolas: Tell Ronové to check his dms

Dantalian: He's busy. We're in the middle of a battle

Glasylabolas: I don't care, I want to see if he has time in his scheduel for our threesome

Dantalian: wait... I thought I was your bestie!

Glasylabolas: I have many besties, Dantalian

Glasylabolas: Most of them from Abaddon. You people trully understand me

Dantalian: It's fine. Wanting to fuck corpses is tame. Just yesterday someone died from getting fucked by a horse.

Glasylabolas: Crazy

Dantalian: Can I have more pics with you and Mc? I want to make an edit

Glasylabolas: Absolutely, just send it to me directly

Dantalian: sure sure

*Glasylabolas posted 10 more photos*

Dantalian: wiat ill doiy when i grt homt

Glasylabolas: Are you having a stroke?

Dantalian: m typng wjth m feert

Glasylabolas: Pop off

5 hours later

*Dantalian posted an edit*

Dantalian: It's done!

Glasylabolas: This is great! Though why is the song "Be my bad boy"

Dantalian: Because you're the bad boy and Mc is the badass dom

Glasylabolas: They haven't dommed yet

Dantalian: yet

Gamigin: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

Paimon: It's not even photoshopped... Glasy, how could you?!

Eligos: Nooooooo out of all the bad decisions, Mc made the worst one

Amon: I think I just lost my appatite for the next century

Dantalian: Come on, guys, it's not that bad!

Amon: @Gamigin are there any free beds in Paradise Lost? I think I need emergency medical attention

Gamigin: I'll send Buer over

Amon: Thx

Eligos: This is fucking outragous

Paimon: My main question is how Glasy is still alive

Foras: @Glasylabolas I think you should brace yourself

Gamigin: What happened?

Barbatos: Hi guys!!!! So, his handsome majesty Leviathan took care of everything. His last words were "This is hot"

Gamigin: Is he dead?

Paimon: Good

Dantalian: He was a good devil.

Dantalian:

Dantalian: Stay strong, brothers

Foras: He's not dead, just unconcious

Paimon: Bumeeeer

*This forum has been terminated at the request of his majesty Leviathan*

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb glasylabolas #whb foras #whb barbatos #whb leviathan #whb dantalian #whb eligos #whb paimon #whb amon #whb gamigin #shipper au #whb x reader

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

mc who ships the kings with their nobles (its an excuse for leviforas)

Mc that ships the shippers with their kings

Overall, I think none of them would think much of it because all the nobles seem to have a crush on their kings. They would mind if you started losing interest in their king because you percieve them to be in a relationship.

Paimon would, like always, be the chiller one about this whole thing. While he sometimes gets angry at his fellow shippers, he'll never get angry at you unless you do something really really stupid. Shipping him with Satan is just kind of silly in his view. He might humor you a bit, but he'll shortly cut all your hopes when he says that he has no romantic feelings for Satan and never will. Doesn't want to give you too much false hope, he just wishes you'll put your sights on what really matters.

Eligos would be dumpfounded. The whole interaction was like

Eligos: Mc! I'm so glad I've found you! I've prepared a nice bow for you to wear on your stroll with his majesty Mammon.

Mc: I'm sure Mammon likes ribbons a lot. I mean, with how close the two of you are... he sure has a thing for small cute things.

Eligos: Oh, he totally does! That's why I will make you the cutest being in Hell... behind me, of course.

Mc: No, don't worry. I don't want to tempt your man.

Eligos: My... what?

Mc: Come on, it's obvious that you and Mammon have athing for eachother. The way he pets your head for longer than anyone else, the way he always calls you his. I bet you have a full collection on lingerie just for him.

Eligos: I do, but no! No no no! I'm not in love with his majesty Mammon! Never!

Mc: First stage, denile

Eligos: First stage of WHAT?!?!?

Congratulation, you just broke Eligos' brain and made him take an emergency trip to Paradise Lost to get checked for whatever illness you implyied he had.

Foras gasps when he hears that and covers your mouth.

Foras: Mc, do you like breathing?

Mc nods

Foras: Good, then stop saying stuff like that. He always listens

Leviathan: Is this what you two are doing instead of sorting paperwork? The only reasons I allowed you two to stay together was because you're incompetent and Foras keeps getting distrected on his phone. I would strangle you both, but you're into it, you filth.

Foras: I apologise, great, powerful, handsome Leviathan for my wrong doings

Mc: I'm adding degredation to my newest fic

Leviathan: Don't flatter yourself a writer, I would never degrade Foras. He actually has qualities to speak of.

Foras: (I wish he degarded me as well)

Sorry, I've been too Leviathan possitive on my blog lately, I have to spread the hate

Amon would choke on his own spit. On one hand, hot, yes, he does want to get revaged by his king. On the other hand, that would be illegal because you're already with him. Amon is delusional, partly because he's starving, partly because that's just how he is. He would try to talk you out of it out of genuioun fear that he is breaking the law.

Gamigin would be repulsed. Lucifer is his brother, why would you ship him with his sibling? Please stop, he's really uncomfortable by the whole idea.

Mc: You know, I've been thinking about you and Lucifer recently

Gamigin: Really?! What about?

Mc: You'd look lovely together. He's so nice to you, I bet he likes you well enough in bed.

Gamigin.exe stopped working

Marbas: You need to leave!

#whb #what in hell is bad #shipper au #whb paimon #whb eligos #whb foras #whb amon #whb gamigin #whb leviathan

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Ok, I get Belphegor ignoring them since he sleeps 24/7. But what the fuck did they do to Asmodeus to make him seen them.

If I were to take this seriously I would speculate that Asmodeus was left out of their funky little friend group when he was younger. Since we know that the kings are all about the same age, and the main four (Satan, Mammon, Leviathan and Beelzebub) were friends, maybe they didn't play with Asmodeus for whatever reason. And now he resents them. Maleficent wanna be.

If I'm shitposting, then I think that Asmodeus is having a messy custody battle for the Unholycs and he's too busy with that to give a shit about the war.

Anyways, this is very interesting and not the first time we got the impression that there is some bad blood between Asmodeus and the other kings. I can't wait to meet my bastard boy and see his petty drama with the others.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb asmodeus #actual theory #whb crack theory

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Expanding on my previous post, I think having to take care of child of the enemy would be such a wonderful deconstruction of Leviathan's character.

Leviathan's main motivation for everything he does is to protect the future of Hell, to protect the children and avange the ones that were lost in the experiments. He eliminates anything that might be dangerous for Hell because if there's even a 1% chance of someone suffering he would blame himself for it. He wants to go find the seed of the fruir of knowledge even though he knows it's a dangerous journey, just because it might save his subjects.

Also, Leviathan (as far as we know) has the most personal reason to hate angels. He's seen them at their cruelest and they've always been a traumatic force in his life. While the other kings got to have more peaceful childhoods (again, we don't know if they were abused, I'm just going off what we know) Leviathan never had that priveledge. Even before the war he was abused by them, and now, in his adulthood, he still can't move on because he sees his subjects being killed and tortured by the same people that abused him.

I think that out of all the characters, Leviathan would be the most... interesting father. Don't get me wrong, he won't be bad, but the sort of abuse that Leviathan had to go through changes you in ways you might never expect. He loves kids, the main reason he fights this war is to make sure the children in Hell get a childhood that isn't characterised primarly by war and death. But if he had to deal with a child 1 on 1 for long stretches of time...

He'll probably be extremely overprotective of them, going by the same rule of 1% change of danger = death. The way most parenting works, especially from people that were abused in their childhoods, is that of trying to protect the child from the trauma they experienced. I doupt Leviathan would even let angels look at his kid, or anyone that he percieves as dangerous for that matter.

We also see in the Orias event that Leviathan can be very nice to the people he likes, and I think that it would be the same for his kid. It would be something like

Leviathan strangling MC: I need to kill you, MC, for your life is bringing certain doom amoungst my people

Levi's kid: Dad, can you help me with my algebra?

Leviathan dropping MC to the ground: Yes, sweetheart, what is it? Do you want us to repeat your multiplications table?

Tl;dr of this post is - stop saying Leviathan would be a shit dad. He'll be overprotective of his kid, but he'll never in a million years hurt a child

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #I can't believe that my first character analysis is on one of my least favorite characters #and one of my least favorite tropes #let's just throw a kid into the mix #I just think that childhood is the most important thing to Levi's character #lamenting that he never had a childhood #hating the people that took away his childhood #and doing everything in his power to protect other people's childhoods from being like his #if only mc was an actual character in the game and I could enjoy the main story

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Would Leviathan be nice to a young angel???

On one hand, angel. On the other hand, child.

I think he would at most shoo them back to Heaven, but what if... what if the angel kid gets attached to Levi? He can't kill a kid! He'll hate himself for it even if the kid's an angel.

The drama, the angst, the fluff, the paternal relationship!

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Mc that wants a secret relationship

This is from an ask/request from @notemejellyfish (tagging so they'll see it sooner). I went in another direction than their headcanons on the same topic, but that's not to say that theirs aren't good. They're a great writer, check them out.

Satan

He understands it

Kicks everyone that tryes to make your relationship public

He would still like if he could brag to Mammon about his relationship with you. Just Mammon, he swears.

Would take away the phone of anyone that ships you with anyone

He preferes smaller scale dates anyways, so just cuddling with you while you both talk about random subjects works just fine for him

He cares deeply about you so he'll always keep your prefrences in mind

Mammon

Why though?

That's his only thought

Don't get him wrong, your his master, he'll do anything you tell him to without complaints

But he wants to know if something is bothering you about being seen with him in public

He can't have his master feeling self-concious, now can he

After you explain that it's due to all the shipping he can't help but laugh

Really? That's easy to fix

Tartaros is the main internet provider in Hell, so he'll ask you if you want all the shipping forums to get removed

He'll try to keep the relationship a secret no matter your answer to the previous question

He's never been in one before and he always wants to try out something new. The feeling of adrenaline at potentially getting caught makes him shudder and he's grateful you gave it to him

Leviathan

Omg finally

The shipping was getting on his nerves, probably more than it did to you

He's so glad you finally made a smart decision, the second in your whole life (the first was dating him)

Since the monarchies in whb are absolute, he bans the use of any tag that includes your name from Hades

Sends a petition to do the same in the other countries and I think only Avisos would sign it (not only is it illegal to steal people's love there, but Bael had enough war threats sent his way from Hades)

He was planing on having a secret, low-scale relationship with you in the first place, so he's the happiest about this change

Beelzebub

He takes this as an invitation

Oh, you want the relationship to be secret?

He can make that fun

He'll make out with you in changing rooms, grope you at the back of the club, pin you to a wall in a small alley and sniff you

He likes the danger of potentially getting caught

Also, just because your relationship isn't public doesn't mean that he won't glare down anyone that gets too close to you

Just because you don't want the internet to know about it doesn't mean that he'll be less passionate and protective of you

Whenever you're out on dates he'll use his power to discuise the two of you, that way, he can be as open with his affection as he likes

He's one of the few that minds the secrecy of your relationship, but he mostly sees it as a new challange

Lucifer

Ok

He'll curse all cameras to shatter when taking a photo or recording of you

It's simple and affective

Gives Gamigin some lectures on how to lie and there's that

Everyone in Paradise Lost might know that you're dating Lucifer, but they're not allowed to say anything about it

And, since no devil would go to Paradise Lost willingly, there's no chance of the secret getting out

He's probably the safest to have a secret relationship with

Nobody in the other countries likes him enough to call for chit-chat, so even if you were in a regular relationship people would still be surprised when they heard you two were dating

#whb #what in hell is bad #shipper au #whb satan #whb mammon #whb leviathan #whb beelzebub #whb lucifer #whb x reader #sorry for the hiatus

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

ngl kinda curious what happens if mc gets shipped with one of the nobles more often than the kings instead?

You know the AO3 ship popularity chart? Let's say they did one of those for the "child of Solomon" fandom.

Mod Jjok: The most popular ship with Mc for this month is... Mc x Sitri! With over 20k words in the longest running fanfiction on the ship reaching peak popularity in the middle of the month!

Dantalian: Sitri? Isn't that his majesty Satan's blood bag?

Glasylabolas: It turns out he has a name.

Paimon: I think this must be mistakeeeeen. I just recently wrote in collaboration with Astaroth a 25k words fanfic about Mc x Satan

Eligos: Oh, I mass-reported that one. I would apologise about that, but demons can't lie

Paimon: You're so sillyyyyy

Paimon: You just lost cuteness session priveledgessss

Eligos: :'(

Eligos: It was for the greater good of Tartaros

Bimet: Very noble of you, Eligos

Dantalian: Bimet! You fucking bitch, where's my MC body pillow????

Eligos: @Dantalian please take this in private we don't vibe with this negative energy here

Dantalian: Speak for yourself, I vibe with it!

Gamigin: Guys, what happened????? I was asleep, it's like 5 AM in here.

Gamigin: HOLY FUCK

Gamigin: How did Sitri of all people win????

Paimon: I mean, he's not that baaaaaaad

Gamigin: 20k words isn't even that long! How?!

Gamigin: I think we all have to come together to break the two up

Gamigin: Sitri is a common enemy and we shall stop him!

Dantalian: I'm sharpening my knife as we speak.

Gamigin: His Majesty Lucifer said I'm not allowed to leave Paradise Lost :'(

Dantalian: And?

Gamigin: And ... what?

Dantalian: He's not your dad! Even if he was, you don't have to listen to him. Do you think I listen to everything his majesty Asmodeus tells me to do? No. He may be my dad and my king, but I am in control of my own future.

Glasylabolas: Preach brother, preach

Gamigin: But I don't want to go against Lucifer's orders

Dantalian: Pussy

Glasylabolas: Pussy

Dantalian: First! Suck it old man!

Gamigin: Wait, doesn't Paimon live in the same country as Sitri?????

Gamigin: @Paimon, dearest, could you please kill Sitri for us? At least tranquillise him or something. Make sure he doesn't move anymore.

Paimon: I'm not murdering Sitri over thisssss

Paimon: I'll just ask him if it's true he's dating Mccccc

Dantalian: I think we should vote on Sitri's fate

Glasylabolas: Absolutely. I am for democracy.

Dantalian: Knife or gun death?

Glasylabolas: I prefere knife. Gun's make everything messier. How am I supposed to get arroused by a pile of guts?

Dantalian: Ask Ronové or Phenix and they'll tell you

Dantalian: I once saw Ronové remove an angel's intenstines and fucking them

Eligos: That's why nobody wants to visit Abaddon.

Dantalian: In his defence, it was kind of hot

Glasylabolas: I can imagine

Glasylabolas: I should call Ronové again...

Dantalian: He charges for one night stands now cause Abaddon lost its health care recently

Gamigin: Yeah, Morax told me about how you started getting curious about his eye hole.

Dantalian: I don't even blame Ronové for that one. I'm also curious what happens if you cum down someone's eye socket.

Paimon: Ok guyssssss

Paimon: I talked with himmmm

Paimon: It turns out that he just had a lot of black tea recently and wrote 20k words in a dayyyyy

Paimon: And a lot of people read it because Asteroth recomended it on his bloggggg

Dantalian: ah, yeah, shipping

Dantalian: Asmodeus x Mc for the win

Eligos: In your dreams

Dantalian: Yes. I do dream about that often.

Dantalian: I don't even know why y'all care so much for Mc's sex life

Dantalian: Having sex with only one partner is boring

Gamigin: Keep your shitty opinions to yourself.

Dantalian: Only if you make me

Eligos: I'm going to mass report it

Gamigin: I already did <3

Sitri: All of you are so mean

[Mod Jjok stopped comments on this post]

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb gamigin #whb paimon #whb eligos #whb glasylabolas #whb dantalian #whb bimet #whb sitri #shipper au

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

În Teambuilding

Marbas holding a card that says Jesus: A murit pentru pacatele noastre

Buer: Vadim. Vadim Tudor. Corneliu Vadim Tudor!

#romanisme #whb #what in hell is bad #whb marbas #whb buer #teambuilding #I'm not translating this #this is just for my romanian girlies

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Waking up is never easy, luckly there was someone willing to help today. Jjok tackled your face.

Jjok: Sibling Mc! Good morning, how are you feeling?

Mc: What?

You were still grumpy from being woken up so suddently, but you rub the sleep out of your eyes and look at the little devil in your bed. Jjok was holding a black letter wrapped in a satin ribbon up to your face. "It's from His Majesty Lucifer." He was quick to answer the question in your mind. Opening it grants you a message written in a language you weren't familiar with, but still somehow understood.

"Dear Mc,

I would like us to continue bonding even after you have deemed me a suitable mate for you. Please meet with me at 12 PULANT ( Paradise Universal Latitudinal Abriviated Time) so we may discuss our arrangement further."

Even though he had no signiture, you could tell that it was Lucifer that wrote that letter to you. You recently decided to ask him to be your boyfriend and he accepted to your surprise. It was almost sweet to see him asking you out like that. You put the letter on your nightstand and laugh happily.

Jjok: You should get ready for His Majesty Lucifer. It's almost 12 in Paradise Lost and His Majesty doesn't like waiting.

You put on your prettiest clothes and ask Jjok to teleport you to the foreign land. Before your vision returns to you, you get tackle hugged by Gamigin. He was always the most excited about your presence and now that you were dating Lucifer, he considered you to be part of the familly.

Gamigin: MC! Oh, I see you're all good! You look stunning today! Did you use a new deodorant today, or maybe a new shampoo?

Marbas: Gamigin... Leave the poor human alone.

Gamigin: How can I? They're our new sibling! Aren't you guys excited as well?!

Mc: It's fine, Gamigin gives great hugs.

Gamigin: Really? You love my hugs? Then I won't let a day pass without embracing you.

It was a sweet scene between you two, but it eventually had to stop.

Buer: His Majesty Lucifer is still getting ready for today. Would you like a message in the meantime?

Mc: You're not scamming me out of my money again.

Buer: This one's on the house. How could I make my sweet sibling pay for one of my services?

Marbas: Does that mean that you were joking yesterday?

Buer: No, you still owe me 50 dollars.

Marbas: This is why we should stop accepting immigrants.

Gamigin: Techinicly speaking all of you are immigrants

Buer, Marbas, Morax: Shut up, Gamigin!

After the small squable between the four, you decide to take Buer's offer. He always gave the best messages which made you feel more relaxed than anything in the human world. If they didn't cost so much you would ask him to do it daily... maybe that's why he doesn't make them free.

After the message, you were dragged by Morax to his room. He wanted to give you a through medical check out, to make sure his new sibling has no problems. When you tell him that he should take care of himself more, he blushes and takes your hands in his.

Morax: Would you like to replace my bandages?

The look he gave you was nothing short of adoration as he brought a new roll of white bandages to you. He slowly takes the bandages off his arms revealing his closed and opened wounds. He teaches you how to take care of a wound just in case. After you finish bandaging him up again, he opens his arms for an embrace. Even though you cannot see it, a soft smile makes its way on his face.

When you're finally done with those two you meet up with Lucifer. Your dates mainly consist of you talking to him about random stuff while he plays with your hair. When you stop talking he caress your face and hums signalling you to continue.

Meanwhile, in the bushes, the Paradise Lost gang spys on you two.

Buer: Shh! Marbas, your wheels are too loud.

Marbas: Not louder than your voice.

Gamigin: Look, look! I think they might kiss!

Buer: What?! Pass me the binoculars!

Marbas: You don't have money to buy your own?

Buer: No, I spent it all buying a gag to shut you up.

Morax: Don't talk about your bedroom activities in front of the child!

Gamigin: AAAAAAAAAAAA

Gamigin starts screaming and shaking his hands violently. He starts bouncing on his knees and hitting the air, which, in turn, makes the bells of his staff jiggle wildly. Buer and Morax try to sush him down and hide him behind the bushes.

Gamigin: Did you see?! They kissed! With tongue!

Morax: Quiet down, Gamigin, we don't want to be seen.

Buer: We don't even know how his majesty would react if he found out we're spying on his date.

Marbas: They're... so pretty together.

Buer turns around and slaps Marbas' erection like turning off a lightswitch.

Buer: Pervert!

Marbas: Who are you calling a pervert you little shit! You're so lucky I'm tied up so often. The second I get released, I'll make Gamigin work overtime to reserect you.

Gamigin: Would you really kill your brother like that?

Marbas: ...you're on thin ice.

Meanwhile

Mc: Should we stop them from staring?

Lucifer: Only if they're bothering you.

Mc: ... ok then. So, we all thought it was the bite of '87-

When your date with Lucifer is over, you go looking for Gamigin which turns out to be an extremely easy task because he was in the bush right next to you and Lucifer.

Gamigin: Are you leaving so soon?

Mc: Yeah... I need to go to Gehenna.

Gamigin: Why though? We have a lot of spare bedrooms in Paradise Lost. You can even sleep with his majesty Lucifer!

Lucifer: Gamigin...

Gamigin: Ok ok fine. But make sure you return tomorow! We're having a family board game night with everyone in Paradise Lost.

With that, you bid your fairwell and return to Gehenna.

#can you tell I have no idea how to write endings? #I don't even know how to call this #it started off as the bootlicking thing #but then I got distracted #and now it's this #I hope you enjoy it though #whb #what in hell is bad #whb lucifer #whb gamigin #whb morax #whb marbas #whb buer #whb x reader

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

You walked into Minhyeok's room holding the cat shaped body pillow close to their chest. Minhyeok didn't react, he was used to your pressence at night.

"Make some space for me, fat-ass."

"There's enough space for the both of us, but not for your plushy as well."

"Fuck off, the plushy is an important member of the family."

"Do you love the plushie more than me, Mc? After all the sacrifices I made for you, this is how you repay me?"

"I never asked you to sacrifice anything for me. Now move, Bubulina needs to sleep somewhere."

"Bubulina? I thought his name was Pablo."

"She's trans, you bigot."

You two chuckle as Minhyeok makes some space for you and your big plushie. As you get comfortable he starts petting your head.

"You didn't tell me how school was today."

"That's because nothing happened."

"Did you eat your sandwiches?"

"No... You used a new type of cheese."

"Yeah, it was the only thing left in the fridge. I take it that you didn't like it."

"It's repulsive to even smell."

"That's a bit much... we should go to the supermarket tomorrow and restock then."

"Can't you go alone? I don't want to go to the store."

"If you don't come to the store I won't know what to buy for you."

"Fineeeee..."

"You're such a brat. I love you."

"I love you too."

You feel Minhyeok kiss the top of your head as you both find comfort in eachother's arms... and plushie.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb minhyeok #this is very self indulging #I was just feeling soft and needed to write something for the best older brother #Also yeah I think of Minhyeok as an older brother #They kind of are??? #I mean #Mc was practicly adopted into his family #that's why you won't be catching me writing Minhyeok nsfw anytime soon

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

I LOOOOOOOVE THE SATAN ONE

He's like "Try me bitch"

Portraits of 3/5 known kings

Wanted to try and draw the kings too, i alredy drew Lucifer and Beel so this was good exploration to see how i draw them. Not so happy w/ how Levi turned out so...might draw him again. Satan looks like a cat and i love it. Smt is wrong in how i drew Mammon but i can't see what it is wrong

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

There's two more fics planned to be posted tomorrow and the day after and then I'll start clearing my askbox. So, if you asked anything during this week and it hasn't been answered yet, just wait until the 19th or 20th.