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mackasdrivethru · 2 days

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Matt Mercer: Horror is monsters

Spencer Starke: Horror is human beings

Aabria Iyengar: We are the monsters and there is beauty and love in the horror

Liam O’Brian: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

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mackasdrivethru · 3 days

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mackasdrivethru · 5 days

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I've been building up this post for quite a while so I think everything in this post is kinda out of order and looks like a bit of a big word vomit... So sorry in advance. Also since it is kinda longer than I realise, I am putting it under the cut. And I am open to any discussion.

(Personally think I may have gotten a few things wrong and if so, please correct me?)

I think the thing about Orym and grief is... A part of him has never let himself grieve his loss properly. He has accepted that they are dead and will never come back, yes. He makes it a point to live up to them everyday, yes. But acceptance is not the same as grief, it is a part of it but not the same.

And this was an interesting discussion I was having with my friends and I feel that it strikes so true here, is the fact that you remember the worst moments of your life more vividly than the happiest moments because in your happy moments, you don't question what happened to you as much as you question your worst moments in life.

And Orym has lived with that question for six years. Now, the same could be said to Ashton and Imogen and Fearne and the rest of the Bells Hells really but as pointed out in this post by @caeslxys. (a really good pot btw) Even though the others have had their questions as to why a particular bad incident happened, Orym has had the shortest time to actually cope with it while for the others, it has been years at this point and maybe they have sort of come to peace with most of their shit before it came back to hit them in their face. And for some, it just hit them recently.

And for Orym the question of "Why?" resurfaces again and again the more he seeks out answers and when he does get the answer... I don't think anyone would really love to learn that the two most important people in their lives were dead because "it was just collateral damage. They didn't really have to die but they did." Not when you were having a happy, peaceful life. They signed up for this, yes. But it is also not fair to have your whole life cut short just because a big shot wants to test a theory.

And I am not trying to say that Orym bringing up his losses every time they have a discussion about the Vanguard is right or wrong because he has every right to and may be wrong at the same time because he is biased. Because at this point, he is very biased.

Apart from what I mentioned above, Orym watched Otohan kill his husband and father. He fought Otohan again and this time lost his life, Fearne and Laudna. He fights Otohan again and nearly loses Keyleth. Fights Otohan again a fourth time and knows that there would've been more losses if FCG hadn't sacrificed themselves. Not to forget Otohan killing Eshteross, something I think Orym internally blames himself for because she read his mind for the information. And even if Otohan is now dead, the loss stays.

I also think that seeing Will when he died had more of a personal impact than he realised because I know while seeing the dead person can sometimes bring some comfort, at the same time, when you are trying to live up to them, trying to answer questions that are just beyond you when you really haven't had the chance to completely grieve and accept, the grief possibly just hits you more.

SO while the Hells have had their personal losses with the Vanguard and Otohan, I think Orym has had the longest beef with the group among them all. He didn't know about the Vanguard 6 years ago, yes. He discovered their name along with the rest of the Hells. But loss wise, Orym was the first of the lot to suffer due to the Vanguard.

This is not me trying to put an exact scale or measurement of the loss cuz it is intangible and stuff. But he's been dealing with it for 6 years. Maybe not for harbouring revenge, but the resentment hasn't completely gone but rather festered the more he seeked answers. So he is going to be extra jaded.

But not to forget the fact that up until Bordor, he did try to see the Vanguard's point too, still kinda does (the locket he took from a Vanguard member as a reminder) but I think by the time of Bordor's betrayal, he's had too many losses with the Vanguard to actually care of their point of view because all he's seen of their group is innocent people getting killed or almost killed for no reason at all.

Bordor's beef as a person from the Vanguard had been against Laudna, Orym and Ashton but he still nearly killed Prism and would've probably marked it off as collateral if she'd died. Dropping off the locket with Bordor doesn't mean that he left all his empathy but at the same time, like he mentions, they are at war. And war doesn't really discriminate amongst people. It just takes.

Like he said to Imogen, I think he still tries to believe the Vanguard can have some people who are good and not all of them are evil but all he's know from the Vanguard at this point is loss and Liliana's blind faith towards Ludinus or Predathos doesn't help.

So back to the recent episode.

Do I think that it is wrong for Orym to bring up to Liliana about his dead family as an answer to her response. No. Do I think it was a wrong time to bring it up? Maybe. Because Liliana was not being confrontational but Orym was turning confrontational the more the discussion happened.

But the thing about Orym saying it to her face is that... It is one thing to know that there have been deaths and even if Liliana didn't directly cause it, she was a part of the group that did and brush it off as collateral damage. And no one does a census or survey post the "collateral damage" on how it affects the other person because now, they have what they want to there is no use to go back there.

And Orym is kinda like that mirror which is like... "SO you had a loss because of the gods and now are going around leaving collateral damage you want to fix stuff? Guess what? Your collateral damage was my life that you just uprooted just like the gods/god people did yours, so are you really any different from the people you hate and the change you want to bring about?" (which is kinda the parallel between Orym and Bordor I find really interesting because this is a cycle that is never ending at the end of the day)

And did Orym need that outlet? Hells yeah. GIVE THAT MAN A HUG!

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mackasdrivethru · 5 days

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Orym is struggling. ❤️‍🩹

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mackasdrivethru · 7 days

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"...and I pull out the stone, and reach out to Dorian."

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mackasdrivethru · 9 days

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Leaving this here until one of these losers (affectionate) just comes out and SAYS THE DAMN THING—

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mackasdrivethru · 10 days

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Caleb being overly protective of Luc Brenatto: a compilation

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mackasdrivethru · 10 days

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mackasdrivethru · 14 days

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Hi, just wondering if you had an updated list of Reid - centric criminal minds episodes. The list I found only goes up to season 7. :) thanks. If not, no worries. Have a lovely day! ♡

I don’t actively run my tumblr blog anymore due wrist problems, but I thought I’d go ahead and respond since I caught the message notification and have a more simplified personal list to work from. It took me a while to find the post you referenced, but I wanted to start from that. I edited what I had and then added to it.

—-

All are Reid-centric or have at least some particular emphasis on Reid at some point unless otherwise noted.

Personal faves (sometimes only for the Reid parts as opposed to the crime parts) and/or strongly Reid-centric eps are in bold.

Eps directed by MGG are in italics. If there’s nothing else noted about the episode, then it has only been listed for this reason.

I’m also noting a few ongoing storylines when there’s a reference to one of them, though references may sometimes only be small or implied. I’m sure there are a few references I’ve missed or that are in episodes that have little to do with Reid as well. If it states (reference only), then the ep does not contain a significant amount of Reid and is only being noted for the reference.

Past - Reid’s childhood and/or family stuff

Hankel - Reid’s kidnapping/torture and drug use/fallout

Headaches - Obviously, the headaches storyline

Maeve - Maeve arc & aftermath

Moreid - Good eps for Moreid fans like myself, but I’ll only be using this for what I deem as more significant Moreid moments.

—-

1x6 LDSK

1x9 Derailed (Past - implied reference)

1x10 The Popular Kids

1x18 Somebody’s Watching

1x22/2x1 The Fisher King, Part 1 & 2 - Past

2x11 Sex, Birth, Death (Past - implied reference)

2x14 The Big Game (continues with Revelations) - Hankel

2x15 Revelations - Hankel

2x16 Fear and Loathing - Hankel

2x17 Distress - Hankel

2x18 Jones - Hankel

2x19 Ashes and Dust (Hankel - implied reference only)

3x12 3rd Life (relates specifically to Reid’s state of mind in Elephant’s Memory)

3x15 A Higher Power (Hankel - implied reference only)

3x16 Elephant’s Memory - Past - Hankel - Moreid

4x3 Minimal Loss

4x6 The Instincts (continues with Memoriam) - Past - Moreid!

4x7 Memoriam - Past

4x9 52 Pickup (semi-Reidcentric and has some moments any Reid lover wouldn’t want to miss)

4x20 Conflicted - Hankel - Moreid

4x24 Amplification (Hankel - implied reference) MOREID!!!

5x1 Nameless, Faceless (not specifically Reid-centric, especially in the 2nd half of the episode, but contains important event for character)

5x9 100 (not Reid-centric, but I’m listing it anyway because it has a couple of awesome Reid moments)

5x12 The Uncanny Valley

5x16 Mosley Lane

6x2 JJ (not Reid-centric, but you won’t want to miss Reid’s reaction to news near the end)

6x12 Corazon - Headaches

6x16 Coda (Headaches - implied reference)

6x18 Lauren (This episode will make more sense if you’ve at least seen 6x17 Valhalla (Headaches - reference only). It’s not specifically Reid-centric, but has plenty of good, even heart-wrenching, moments from Reid.)

6x19 With Friends Like These - Headaches - Moreid

7x2 Proof - Hankel

7x4 Painless (only because of the prank war with Morgan) Moreid

7x6 Epilogue (Hankel - reference only) Moreid

7x11 True Genius

7x13 Snake Eyes (not Reid-centric, but there are a couple of good Reid moments)

7x19 Heathridge Manor

8x4 God Complex - Maeve - Headaches (very minor reference, basically just a way to write off the headaches storyline)

8x5 The Good Earth (only for the ending with mini-Reid)

8x6 The Apprenticeship - MOREID!

8x10 The Lesson - Maeve

8x12 Zugzwang - Maeve

8x13 Magnum Opus - Maeve

8x17 The Gathering - (not Reid-centric except near end - Maeve)

8x20 Alchemy - Maeve

8x22 #6 (Maeve - reference only)

9x1 The Inspiration (Maeve - implied reference only)

9x6 In the Blood (not Reid-centric, but has some cool Reid moments, Maeve)

9x7 Gatekeeper (not Reid-centric, but has some awesome Reid moments)

9x18 Rabid (only for the scene where he gets to kick a little butt, not the cliched stuff related to working out that reduces Reid to a caricature)

9x20 Blood Relations

9x23 Angels (continues with Demons; important Reid event near end)

9x24 Demons

10x13 Nelson’s Sparrow (not fully Reid-centric, but significant occurrence for Reid)

10x14 Hero Worship (not yet aired, but should continue to deal with fallout from previous episode)

—-

Well, that’s it so far. Sorry for any errors or omissions I might have made or if I’ve somehow mislabeled something. I was working from memory on a lot of the stuff from season 7 onward and I haven’t rewatched as many of those episodes as I have the ones from the good ‘ole days (i.e. pre-Erica Messer as showrunner).

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mackasdrivethru · 15 days

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Cutest Omar moment of 4SD: