mephorash

[mephorash]

Hey man, don't even worry about me and the newly formed membrane of skin covering my unnaturally huge, permanently open mouth that prevents me from speaking in anything other than muffled, vibratey grunts. It's not a bad deal at all- I recently found out that I can use it to filter various particulate matter from the air, and that it's all actually quite delicious, and nutricious. And, well, I'm always hungry nowadays, and those particles arent worth much .....So I'm just gonna sit myself down right here under the breezeway and never move from this spot in order to concerve calories. And maybe once I'm at a surplus I can use the growth of my body to anchor myself in, incase the wind picks up too much for me to handle. And maybe others like me will congregate here and as our flesh begins to touch, it won't seperate, and we'll gradually form a grand structure, one akin to coral, here in the remains of the city. And at the same time, other structures will form too, in other places, rising like skyscrapers dotting the horizon over the course of decades, centuries, thousands of years, eventually leaning in, touching eachother for the structural support and aerodynamicysm, melding, growing, reproducing. Until at last the air is completely free of all germs, pollutants, aeroplankton, all that good stuff, bringing on the long process of our colonies starving one by one, starting from the top where the air is thinnest, down to the bottom where our numbers are greatest, eventually rotting, the rest of us calcifying, leaving fresh materials for the newest batch of mobile life on earth, but by the time the luckiest of this new life gains sapience, the strong wind will have already eroded at our bones, spreading it all amongst the now rich soil, leaving not even a legend of what had happed before.

[mephorash]

the two types of transfem callouts:

no just trust me bro this time it's not transmisogynist he i mean they are an actual sexual predator just trust me bro what do you mean who's the victim who needs a victim

this trans woman fucking kidnapped a child and/or raped someone! *one year later* sooo it turns out that she actually didn't and those claims and "evidence" were fabricated by ppl who later admitted to it but we will continue to pretend that she did bc to do otherwise would be to admit that online mob justice without due process is laughably falsifiable by bad faith actors and the entire framework is bunk and that is just too inconvenient

[mephorash]

They spend their evenings doing this almost every day

[mephorash]

"the trolley problem" really has created this unique sense of learned helplessness when it comes to ethical dilemmas

[mephorash]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[mephorash]

getting a fresh haircut then going straight home to jack off and sit inside for the rest of the day

[mephorash]

Begged a lady today to go blind with me

[mephorash]

I hope both your broke ass & yo stupid factory worker father end up on insta reels

[mephorash]

Hey honestly my homely male friendpig over there in the corner hasnt gotten any physical contact recently And i dont want to like, be a crazy creeper o anything like literally the last time he got touched was a handshake 5 months ago Soo i was just wondering if you could hug him, rub his head, play with his hair, pull on his fingers, crack his knuckles, touch him delicately, pull on his hair, pull on his arms really hard so they pop off completely, grab his foot, bounce him on your lap, rub his forehead, pull his shoes off And honestly men have to be more comfortable asking for this kind of stuff

[mephorash]

does anyone else think self immolation has, like, she her vibes while suicide by cop lowkey gives he him

#oh my god

[mephorash]

effeminate gay males and italian women are ensouled by the same type and quality of spirit energy. in the 4th dimension and higher there is no difference what so ever between fem gay boys and italian ladies.

[mephorash]

Natural World Patch Notes 4/17/2024

-all bugs now scream in pain and fear when you hurt them

-the post-rain smell is now distinctly worse, slightly nauseating

-icicles can now form in any temperature if humidity is high

-stars in night sky are 14% dimmer

[mephorash]

he's the first rapper in history to be killed by an anti-tank rifle. blew his head smooth off while he was driving, bullet overpenetrated and got one of his producers sitting in the back too

[mephorash]

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me about your decision. While I am disappointed that I will not be considered for a position at your company, I am grateful for the opportunity, and I do hope you'll keep my resume on file in case another position becomes available. Attached please find pictures of my penis And scrotum shortly after self-mutilation with a dull pocketknife. Thank you for your time and I look forward to any future correspondence.

[mephorash]

Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

[mephorash]

someones first day on earth ?

[mephorash]

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