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floki8
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sometimes you can’t help but think that everyone you know would be better off without you around.
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The thing about having depression hit before I was even a teenager, is that I have no idea who I am. I have no memory of what it’s like to live without anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.
I have no idea who I am without these disorders, they’ve defined my entire life.
How do you recover, when there is nothing to go back to?
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Mental illness has a way of desensitizing you to your pain. You're aware you're broken and that it fucking hurts but you've become so accustomed to the tears of your heart that you can spend hours thinking of your own suicide almost casually.
Excerpt from my journal 12-3-19
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”I wanted to kill myself a long time ago, was always close to it. I did not do it because I was afraid to explain myself if it didn‘t work.“
— sad-lonely-broken
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I never tought I would be back at this point
I never tought I would sink this deep again, but here I am... back at the point where I am writing my suicide note, in the middle of the night, because I can’t take it anymore...
I am so done with my life, I have waited for so long now for things to get better, but it never has and I don’t think it ever will.
It is only going to get worse for me.
Sucide is every minute of the day on my mind and I’m serious, I go to sleep wishing I don’t wake up the next day but I always do... and I hate it, I feel like i have never been so sure about ending my life.
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“I’m fine, I’m just tired”. My depression is setting in but I don’t want to bother you with it
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The reason he can say goodbye and fall asleep so quickly when he's talking to you is because he doesn't care.
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I wonder if I've ever made an impact in a stranger's life. I wonder if I'm ever in a stranger's thoughts.
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I feel like a fool when I'm standing next to someone pretty, they look right through me and act like I'm not even there.
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