mytinyatlas

[mytinyatlas]

Hand Foot & Mouth Disease

What is it? Hand-foot-and-mouth disease is a mild, contagious viral infection common in young children. Symptoms include sores in the mouth and a rash on the hands and feet. There's no specific treatment for hand-foot-and-mouth disease.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hand-foot-and-mouth-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20353035#:~:text=Hand%2Dfoot%2Dand%2Dmouth%20disease%20is%20a%20mild%2C,foot%2Dand%2Dmouth%20disease.

How do you get it? The virus can spread to others through an infected person’s saliva, drool, Fluid from blisters or scabs or poop. They are usually most contagious during the first week that they are sick. 

So my wonderful daycare decided not to disclose that there were a few cases the week prior until after Anderson had already shown symptoms. Super upset because I in turn also got it as an adult (which is generally rare).

The child:

Day 1: fever 102.7 (administered Motrin 2-3 times a day)

Day 2: very cranky, loss of appetite (administered Motrin 2-3 times a day)

Day 3: visible bumps around the mouth, bottom, and knees (administered Motrin once a day)

Day 4: appetite has returned, bumps still visible and multiplied to feet, hands, and interior of mouth (administered Motrin once a day)

Day 5-6: crankiness has subsided a bit

Day 7: interior of mouth seems clear, demeanor back to normal

Myself:

Day 1: fever 103.6 (my symptoms began 3 days after the child’s) took adult Tylenol

Day 2: loss of appetite (most likely cranky)

Day 3-5: immense sore throat (visible blisters inside mouth)

Day 6-7: blisters still present, some pain has subsided, fever of 102 on both days (however working could have exacerbated my condition) took adult Tylenol

Day 8: fever subsided, blisters still present and difficult to swallow

Treatment: We went to the doctors and there’s nothing they can prescribe since it’s a virus. Cepacol and other numbing medications have not worked/helped. Even my usual honey/orange hot water concoction is not doing it for me. Oddly the only relief I get is every time I brush my teeth and use mouthwash – weird.

Food: fruit was our enemy, anything acid was just awful on the throat. Soft foods (and surprisingly spicy foods went down well). So a lot of overcooked rice (porridge), mashed potatoes and soft serve ice cream was consumed during this time. Other things I made: tteokbokki, jello, yubuchobap, eggs.

It sucks because I’m over here sick taking care of another sick being – who’s taking care of me man?

#hand foot mouth disease #hfmd

[mytinyatlas]

got milk?

Officially my last week of pumping! I lasted almost a full year, but I am over it. It was annoying, in the beginning I was pumping around 7 times a day and that takes up 20 to 30 minutes. I felt like I was permanently attached to the pumping schedule. My boobs leaked through my clothes, and they would ache in-between if I waited too long. I had to use a vibrator looking instrument to massage out the clogs and if it got really bad, I had to break out the heating pads. At the height of it I was producing around 1 gallon a day (no joke, double the amount the little man needed).  My poor nipples and the boob soreness was awful.

Pictured above is organizing the frozen supply in order of date since they expire in 6 months. (I don’t have a deep freezer). The other day I saw a photo of a mom showing off her huge stash of expired breast milk (more than my picture!). It made me so upset because I know a few people who had a hard time even producing, she could’ve donated it at least. I stocked up knowing I would eventually wean off since working full time and trying to pump between breaks has been really difficult.

Before I get into it, don’t get me wrong – I AM VERY GREATFUL that I was able to produce a ton. This is not a humble brag, no one reads this blog (if you randomly have come across this). This is a recollection of my pregnancy, birth, and post-birth memories for me to reflect on later in life. My production has been helpful especially with the formula shortage that happened twice this year (factory got shut down from a recall and a few months later a flood). Also, pumping has helped especially since his teeth have come in, man the biting is no fun.

#breastfeeding #pumpingbreastmilk breastmilk

[mytinyatlas]

breastesess

This entire entry is about milking my boobs, prepare yourself.

I was fortunate enough to be an overproducer. Now physically and mentally, it didn’t seem like a blessing, however, it saves you a ton on costs. It takes a lot of patience and time if you’re going to pump/breastfeed exclusively.

Hospital Pump versus Insurance Issued

There is no comparison. The hospital pump (Medela Symphony) is far superior and nicer on my breasts. It retails for 3k but I was able to rent it for $50/month. Some people have no issues using the ones available via insurance. I still got the free one from my insurance (Medela In Style) and bring that with me when I’m traveling or running errands since its portable and can run off battery. I really wanted the Willow one that fits inside your bra but couldn’t get myself to pay that much.

Hakka versus Elvie Milk Collector

I ended up buying both because the Hakka was uncomfortable and started hurting for some reason. These are great for collecting milk in-between pumps. I couldn’t just use breast pads because I would leak through them so quickly. I ended up using the Elvie more often since its more discreet (fit in my bra easier), however, it holds a lot less so you’ll have to drain more often.

Disposable Breast Pads versus Reusable

After a few months I could finally stop using the milk collectors and just wear breast pads between pumps. Don’t get me wrong, there are times where I still leak through, but they a far a few between now (I purposely didn’t add a timeframe because this is different for everyone). I constantly use my reusable ones so I don’t see a reason why there’s a need for disposable ones. I just wash them in-between (I bought a set of 10). I feel like the disposable ones who be so costly.

Pumping Bras

I bought a total of 3 bras, I won’t get into too much detail – you can always order and try it on for yourself:

Favorite, comfortable and kept the girls up. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08L8V1JBB/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Most comfortable, however, girls will sag. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07WS54CZH/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

DO NOT BUY – useless https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0052ZGRYQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Freezer Bags 

I don’t have a lot of feedback on this, I mostly use the Lansinoh freezer bags just because they are always the least expensive. The Kiinde system is super nice and convenient since you’ll be avoiding bottle cleaning, however, the bags can get a bit pricey and my little guy didn’t like the nipples.

Clogged Ducts

My friend scared the bajeebus out of me about getting mastitis: A condition in which breast tissue is inflamed. It is usually caused by an infection and is most often seen in nursing mothers. She had gotten it twice so I made sure to purchase two items. A lactation massager and heat packs. For the lactation massager, it was a godsend, there were times where I would pump for a few hours (I really wanted to sleep) but then my breasts were hard as rocks. Hand massaging them would hurt my hands after a while, it was that tiring. The one I linked below is nice because it has different settings. For the heat pads, you could get away with using any, I just happened to come across these. It was nice when my boobs were particularly achy.

Lactation Massager: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B079HFSYKX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Heat Pack: https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-TheraPearl-Therapy-Breastfeeding-Essentials/dp/B01J61VL9W

#cloggedducts freezerbags breastpump breastfeeding pumpingbras milkcollectors

[mytinyatlas]

Motherhood has brought on an entirely new sense of morality and what I deem is good and kind in the world. What I had in insecurities before he was born is now replaced with impatience. True life example: yesterday we had car troubles less than a mile from my sisters. I informed them stating we would we late, reason, and location. None of them offered any assistance, word of encouragement, nothing. I sat there changing the tire with my husband (thankfully we both have a general understanding of basic car maintenance) wondering what kind of person doesn't offer any help, not even to a family member. My infant was in the car and it had been raining, you have no concern for him at least? Sure I'm frustrated at the car situation since today is now Christmas day and absolutely no place is open, but I am more appalled by their actions - or more accurately, their inaction.

I am so much more judgemental of people and their intent now. This is very evident and I'm not sure how to turn it off, to be entirely honest, I don't know if I even want to change. Actions/intentions should mean something. Life is too short to be so consumed by such narcissistic values - not really going to get into detail about that lol

UPDATE

the following day I arrived at the familys house with just my son. They all asked where my husband was where I had to remind them that yesterday we got a flat tire. As nothing is open on Christmas Day, I had to take the small car (two seater). I believe they felt a little guilty. 

[mytinyatlas]

miracle of birth

It’s now been a week since we’ve been home from the NICU and the funny thing is a I reflect on my experience, I remember the contractions, the pushing, the C-section – the only thoughts that came to mind were… “why in the world would anyone go through this agony and pain.” Yet, as I hold him in my arms, I would do it all over again. I catch myself staring at him thinking how wonderful it is to have him nestled in my embace. I can’t believe he’s here, for me to take care of. The constant feeding, changing of diapers, crying – all of it hasn’t worn me out yet, but it’s all so wonderful. Seeing him and his little facial expressions, I can’t get over it. It’s amazing watching him grow with each day. I feel so blessed. My mom called me shortly after and regaled how every time she gave birth, she felt the same way. During the act she didn’t understand why anyone would torture themselves (mind you she did this 8 times) yet afterwards, that newborn baby washed away all your regrets. It was all worth it to see them cradled in your arms looking up at you. I look forward to introducing this little one to the rest of my family, I know with the ongoing pandemic it won’t happen soon, but eventually. There are so many things I look forward to, can’t wait for the holidays to come around so we can rejoice and celebrate together.

#mylittlesunshine #mytinyatlas #mybabystory

[mytinyatlas]

updates and such

Currently sitting in the NICU I need to find a way to distract myself. There are so many things that I’m feeling right now that I don’t think I could appropriately put them into words. For now I’ll just deescribe my experiences this far. To be clear, understand the following:

1. In no way am I an expert, the following are just opinions as a mother on day #5, whatever I do reference I will add a link

2. The information below may get a little personal, so if your icky factor is set low, you may want to skip this post - proceed with caution

3. My procedure and my babys situation was referenced in the previous post for more context

Adult Diapers: what the hospital gives yous is absolute rubish, it was utterly awkward and leaked everywhere. I googled a few option and settled on Solima Incontinence and Postpartum Underwear - I purchased a size medium which was my size pre-pregnancy. They are fantastic! So much easier to wear and use. I did purchase a 60 count because I wasnt sure for how long I would need them for. Admittedly, I am still bleeding sporadically and if the pain is particulalrly extrcruciating I do secrete some minor urine. I have nothing else to compare them to since I haven’t needed to try other brands. They are my new best friend.

If you don’t happen to have a bidet installed at your house, you may want to get a nifty peri bottle to clean the area between showers as well.

Insurance: adding peanut to my insurance has been a nightmare. I call, fill out documents online and have no idea what the status is. I’m making another round of calls today to figure this out. Birth Cirtificate you can get in about 2 weeks, but you have to apply in person. Social Security will be mailed to you but that takes about 8 weeks. I currently have Kaiser, but because of the emergency he was sent out of network (CHOC) so I worry about any additional fees that might be incurred.

Pumping Bra: if you plan on breastfeeding you abolsutely need to get a bra that holds the pumping cups in place. Sitting there the first few days holding it your boob was ridiculous. Not because it just tires out your arms, but you also have to set the machine, pore the contents, label, etc. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t purchase this ahead of time, but get one before you are due! I bought this one and its been great since it’s fit the variety of pumping machines I’ve had to use (what the hospital offers differs to what was covered under the insurance) and also latches down entirely to breast feed. 

 Also, unexpectedly on day 4 my boobs turned super stuff. Apparently this is normal, just keep pumping regularly and eventually it’ll go away. However, if it gets to the point where they are rock hard and ache, you’re possibly on the verge of clogging (current status) - so after speaking with the lactation specialist I now have to:

Pump more frequently (every 2.5 hours instead of 3)

Durration is longer: 20 minutes instead if 15 minutes. If I end up oversleeping and there’s a larger gap I pump for upwards of 30 minutes.

Massage them - originally I was was doing this by hand and I felt like i was going to get carpal tunnel, so my friend turned me on to this my boobs are squishy once more!

Modesty Cover: initally I wanted multi-purposeful items so I got that stretchy infinity scarf ones that also stretch over baby seats. Do yourself a favor and just get one of those flap ones, modesty it out the door when you’re trying to pump or breast feed in a public setting

Swollen: I think I just had this misconception that when the nurses pressed on my belly after the procedure, my body would immediately revert back to pre-pregnancy. Looking in the mirror that is not the case. My feet are still swollen (although not has bad as 2 weeks ago), my belly is still there, and the rememnants of my PUPPPs is still visible, albeit much less worse and non-itchy as this point - although terribly dry. Hopefully it’ll lessen over time. 

NICU diggs: I cant speak for all NICUs of course, but I’ll comment in my current one. Although there is a decent size couch and comfy chair, it’s not great when you plan on sleeping with your baby overnight. I would recommend bringing the following:

comfortable blanket, the ones the provide here are practically canvas material

laptop + charger (there will be a lot of downtime, you’re not a bad parent, also I haven’t been allowed to even hold peanut yet since he’s hooked up to a bunch of machines)

bring snacks, hospital food is subpar and portions are teeny tiny - or maybe I’m just a fatty. Also, food was only comped for mamma, not for daddy/guest - additional fees apply. 

Last but not least - give yourself a break, you just brougt human life into the world. I’m sure you had a long list of things you said you wouldn’t do, but life is tough when you’re raising another human. 

#mybabystory #mytinyatlas #mylittlesunshine #pumpingbra insurance adultdiapers

[mytinyatlas]

it’s time!

So yesterday began with 4am contractions and then landed me at an emergency c-section (vacuum was not an option per the doctor since his por little head was imflammed). During the c-section I experienced a ton of discomfort and tremendous tugging but the worst was yet to come. There were severe tugging pains, I began to cry from the force of it but for the first few moments of Andersons life, he would not breath for unknown reasons. I knew something was wrong because I could hear incoherent yelling coming from Andersons attendees. I didn't hear his cry.. I looked over, experiencing the worst moment of my life. The doctors had to perform CPR and eventually intubation was their only option. He's was immediately transferred to CHOC NICU. I saw him but for a brief moment before he was transported away. I saw him through a plastic box, I haven't had a chance to even touch him yet. I cried uncontrollably until by body shook, I am so scared.

My partner is shuttling between CHOC and Kaiser. I will likely be discharged by Sunday evening and Anderson is tbd. I don't know what to tell anyone as I am still processing all this and it's hard enough. I wouldn’t be able to handle the onslaught of follow up questions - the idea of having to repeat that statement over and over again, I just can’t

The hardest part has been not being near him, to cradle him in my arms. I sit here, 4 in the morning, pumping, hoping this is enough. That this meager nourishment will get me closer to him. I have never been more afraid in my entire life. I silently stalk him - the wonderful people at CHOC set up a live feed. Mamma loves you little one, she's doing her best in these uncertain times to get to you asap. Keep fighting the good fight and grow stronger, I promise I'll do my best.

#mybabystory #mylittlesunshine #mytinyatlas

[mytinyatlas]

2 more weeks?!

So I have about 2 more weeks left, but Anderson will come when he wants to come. In the last month (literally) I began having allergic reactions – to what I am still not sure. I haven’t eaten any new foods, introduced new clothing, rewashed everything including the bed sheets... so its been pretty uncomfortable. There are rashes all over my body and extremities even with popping Benadryl and rubbing prescription oil. I went to the hospital yesterday since the symptoms were worsening by the hour – I had to wait a whopping 5 hours before I was actually seen. Does not bode well when the time comes, and I am in labor. I also have been unknowingly experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions and PUPPP.

What do Braxton Hicks contractions feel like?

Braxton Hicks contractions start as an uncomfortable but painless tightening that begins at the top of your uterine muscles and spreads downwards. They cause your abdomen to become very hard and strangely contorted (almost pointy). Once you get closer to your estimated due date, they will become more frequent and intense. https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/labor-and-birth/braxton-hicks/

I had been feeling abnormal pain once in awhile and did not know it was actually BH contractions, apparently the doctor could see it on the monitor. Now I’m wondering what real contractions will feel like versus BH lol

Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP) rash is an itchy rash that appears in stretch marks of the stomach during late pregnancy.

While the exact cause of PUPPP rash isn’t known, the stretching of the skin seems to be a trigger for the rash to occur. PUPPP rash occurs in about 1 in every 150 pregnancies.https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/puppps-rash#TOC_TITLE_HDR_1

The rashes are getting worse by the day, even with the prescribed medication. 

On another note – I didn’t have any crazy cravings. Is it weird that that was something I was looking forward to? Everyone always asks 1. How’s your morning sickness, 2. What’s the weirdest thing you ate? I only felt nauseous once or twice during the whole pregnancy and I mostly wanted beef (hamburgers tastes glorious). But no late-night cravings or weird combinations. I mostly craved my favorite elementary school dishes: hamburgers, ice cream, meatball pho, banh cuon (Vietnamese pork rice rolls) and it was great. As of late – I really want seafood, so hopefully I can get some crab boils in before I pop.

#Miracle #braxtonhick #pregnancy #hydrosalpinx #mylittlesunshine #mybabystory #braxtonhicks #puppp

[mytinyatlas]

5 weeks and counting

Cant believe we’re almost there. I’ve grown exponentially in the last month. For a long time, people stated I wasn’t that big… they cant take deny it now. It’s overwhelming and exiting all at the same time. I’m excited to see Mr. Anderson, mostly because I hope he’s healthy and safe. I don’t know what’s happening in my belly, so the unknown is worrisome. The pregnancy itself has been relatively manageable. I have expansion pains and physically/mentally tired, but not much else. I saw the following comic and found it entertaining. Hopefully the following conditions won’t be too severe in the next upcoming weeks. 

My leave officially begins on 8/23/21, I’m pretty excited. It’ll be nice to have the time off. In the next few weeks, we’ll get a chance to celebrate our cousin’s union, so hopefully I don’t pop by then. I’ve been very fortunate to have so many people around already complete this stage in their life. I’ve received great advice and some hand-me-downs. I didn’t see the value in buying all new items, especially when babies seem to grow out of things so quickly. Can’t wait to meet you Anderson!

*8/2 Update*

spoke too soon, i have an itchy rash all over my upper chest lol 

also my feet have swollen up a full size, I caved and finally bought one pair of tennis shoes to walk around in, I really hope they go back down after I give birth

I’ve gained a total of 25ish lbs since january which doesn’t seem like a lot, but I guess my total BMI is not what the doc would like to see, so they keep telling me not to gain anymore (i haven’t been going out of my way to stuff my face lol)

I cannot believe I’m due in less than a month!

#hydrosalpinx #Miracle #pregnancy #mybabystory #mylittlesunshine

[mytinyatlas]

work life balance struggle

As of late I’ve been feeling exhausted. I haven’t been doing anything out of the ordinary outside my daily routine so I’m assuming its the growing baby inside of me. It’d hard for me to focus on work as of late too. I feel sluggish and also feel like things are harder for me to comprehend. I stare at my screen and I end up having to reread materials over and over again. I’ve also had to resort to writing down all my tasks, lest i forget. I don’t quite know how I’m going to manage work, school, volunteer, and baby. I think that worries me the most right now. Come fall, I may not enroll in any classes this upcoming fall, just to see how I’ll adapt with baby in tow. 

I have been quite lucky for the first and second trimesters when it came to symptoms, third trimester not so much. I’m dealing with quite a bit of insomnia, excessive leg cramping in the middle of the night, nauseousness, loss of appetite, and just general tiredness. I think I may have to consider taking my maternity leave sooner then I thought I would. My next ultrasound appointment is in 2 weeks, I’m interested in seeing the progress and hopefully have a firmer date on the when Anderson should arrive!

#hydrosalpinx #mybabystory #pregnancy #Miracle #mylittlesunshine #mytinyatlas

[mytinyatlas]

grateful

Today I am 26 weeks along. With some of the initial pregnancy complications and the looming COVID at every corner, it’s been an interesting year. Each day I feel more grateful for the next. I feel the baby growing inside of me. Grateful for every movement (however minor at the moment) because then I know he’s percolating in there, growing with each passing minute. It’s sometimes overwhelming to think that this time last year I was still reeling from the news that I will not be able to bear children. The end of last year was me accepting this fate and preparing for what the future may hold, now here I am. I stare at my growing belly in awe. My partner has made it clear he doesn’t see the miracle, but I sure do. 

There were a lot of minor concerns mixed in with the larger ones. Praying for the health and safety for this little one being top priority. But there were questions about what I need to prepare as a parent, would anybody want to attend a baby shower during these trying times - I am still so concerned on how I’m going to manage parenthood and a career, with school taking a backseat after I finish my current semester. But I also have to rememeber, ths position I’m in, this predicament, is not burdensome. I am so thankful that I have a good job, a roof over my head, great friends, and a child on the way. Literally a year ago I didn’t have half these things. Life is pretty amazing right now, generally I prepare myself for worst case scenario.. but I’ll continute to hope for the best. 

#hydrosalpinx #pregnancy #Miracle #mytinyatlas #mybabystory #mylittlesunshine

[mytinyatlas]

shenanigans (and outrage)

this past weekend started off so well. I started cleaning up the random junk from the soon to be baby room. organizing and donating the stuff we dont need (hoarder, i am not). I got see my lovely Ortho group on saturday, it’s been nearly a year since I last saw them. We sat in my backyard and just caught up. It’s so nice to see people in person rather than via digital channels. On Sunday more setting baby stuffs (tackling the crib) and relaxing and eating good food. That’s where things started going downhill. 

So first off, I’ve been searching marketplaces for a lot of secondhand stuff. I am trying to save money so I’m not in need of the newest and greatest items. babies grow fast so I dont see that need. A friend is lending us a crib, however, not all the parts are there, as we found out trying to assemble them yesterday. Now not a big thing, but when I asked said friend to check if they had potential pieces around the house or maybe in the car - they insisted all pieces were provided. I did my due dilegence to check if pieces were indeed missing or if I simply overlooked them before contacting friend. In case my friend couldn’t find the necessary pieces I started searching for another crib. I found a few and one got back to me. i went to go pick it up and when we brought it home it was a bait and switch! there were broken peices of a dog crate! when i confronted the seller, she had the audacity to tell me that i was the one falsey claiming wrongdoing. Up until that point i was mostly annoyed, but to anyone who knows me, when my integrity comes into question - i take it very seriously. hence this post today, I am still upset. I would not maliciously try to decieve someone, i understand a lot of people are going through hardships right now. So here I sit, stewing over the events of yesterday, still cribless. I know I will get over this eventually, but here I sit and stew.  

#hydrosalpinx #pregant #mylittlesunshine #mybabystory #Miracle #mytinyatlas

[mytinyatlas]

anticipation

I’m curretly taking classes at the moment, working on finishing up a degree and for my elective class we had to choose from a few images to recreate. I chose the following (http://www.dawnsartnotes.com/assets/leonardo-da-vinci-sketch.jpg) and below is my recreation. Not my finest work as i know I severely lack in the art skills, but from far away i think i did okay lol

You can likely understand why I chose the above image. I don’t know how to really describe everything I’ve been going through. I have so many questions and concerns in my head at the moment that it feels overwhelming at times. I dont know how I’m going to manage work, baby, and college courses. I may have to take a break from my studies. How am I even going to manage work and baby at the same time? I don’t have parents (or in-laws) that can just be here at my beck and call. Nannies/daycare I’m assuming is super expensive. I don’t have the option of working part time for my position; and in no way could I imagine quitting. I’ve worked so hard to get to this point. 

So what is there to do? I told myself a long time ago that if I was ever given the oppurtunity to be a mom, I would be there for my kid. I dont necessarily mean helicopter parenting. It’s just, my mom wasn’t around a lot, she was busy working and making sure all her kids were fed. I understand the position she was in and in no way am I ungrateful for her sacrifices. But here I am, 22 weeks pregnant, so here’s my chance to make good on that promise. 

I hope I’m a good mom. 

on another note I finally publiclly announced the pregnancy on social media. A part of me wanted to wait a bit longer but I don’t think i could contain it in anymore. I wanted to share the news with the world, I want it to be real. I really love seeing my belly grow with each passing day. I don’t think I’ve grown that much overall, but who knows. I’ve indulged all of my whims!

#hydrosalpinx #pregnancy #Miracle #mytinyatlas #mybabystory #mylittlesunshine

[mytinyatlas]

the punisher (19 weeks)

haha not really but this is the photo taken of the little peanut over the weekend. I had my mega ultrasound where they measure every part of the body. I received my results, however, its in medical terms so I have no idea what it all means. Here’s a breakdown of what google informed me:

Cervix Length: The length of the cervix changes with advancing gestation. At 20 weeks gestation the average cervical length is about 40mm but there is wide variation. If the length is less than 25 mm it indicates a higher risk of preterm birth. If the length is less than 15 mm it is clearly abnormal. https://www.ultrasoundcare.com.au/services/pregnancy-ultrasound-12-34-weeks-cervical-length-screening.html#:~:text=The%20length%20of%20the%20cervix%20changes%20with%20advancing%20gestation.,mm%20it%20is%20clearly%20abnormal.

39.8 MM

Amniotic Fluid / AFI between 5-25 cm is considered normal; median AFI level is ~14 cm from week 20 to week 35, after which the amniotic fluid volume begins to reduce https://radiopaedia.org/articles/amniotic-fluid-index?lang=us

Volume: Normal / 11.27 CM

FHR:  Baby's Heart-rate or known as Fetal Heart Rate By 20 weeks the average (SD) fetal heart rate is 140 (20) bpm with a gradual decrease to 130 (20) bpm by term. In the healthy fetus the heart rate is regular, usually remains between 110 and 180 bpm, and has a beat‐to‐beat variation of 5–15 bpm. https://pregnancytreasures.com/babys-heart-beat/#:~:text=Baby's%20Heart%2Drate%20or%20known%20as%20Fetal%20Heart%20Rate%20(FHR)&text=Here%20is%20the%20average%20FHR,~130%20bpm%20by%20term

152 BPM

Other Info:

Placenta Previa occurs when a baby's placenta partially or totally covers the mother's cervix — the outlet for the uterus. Placenta previa can cause severe bleeding during pregnancy and delivery. No signs

Growth Percentile: 47%

Low-Lying Placenta Measures 1.7 CM from Internal OS  if the placenta is <2cm from the internal os at the 18-20 week scan, it may still be low at the time of the birth. Therefore many obstetricians and mid-wives ask for it to be re-checked in the third trimester. So the doctor messaged me and informed me that I have to get rescanned in 2 months and avoid any heavy lifting, etc. Otherwise the baby looks normal :)

#hydrosalpinx #mylittlesunshine #mybabystory #pregnant #Miracle #20weeks

[mytinyatlas]

candid

I started telling a few people I interact with about the pregnancy. I’m 18 weeks now, so with each passing day I am a bit more hopeful that all of this is really happening. I have my 3D scan this upcoming Sunday, so I’m excited to see this little peanut. I’m surprised at how candid I’ve been to the people around me. I think there are a few factors to that contribute to this unexpected honesty. 

One: our interaction with people has reduced by so much that any form of human contact is welcomed

Two: a lot of people have gone through some form of struggle that it just makes our interactions more relatable and less about the work ahead, we are yearning for that human connection

The second reason has been particularly important and eye-opening because I didn’t realize just how many people had their own infertility and marital issues. To a few people, I have been pretty open about my condition, that we were informed of the minimal chance of a pregnancy, and just the concerns of the upcoming events. I hope these conversations have been reassuring to them - they have been for me at least. It also helps alleviate my excitement to share the news, it just makes everything more real. 

On the topic of being candid, I am so much more emotional as of late. Even a sentimental facebook post could cause a steady stream of tears. It is so weird.

The combination of pandemic quarantine, working from home, and pregnancy has caused me to care less and less about my outward appearance. It’s not an excuse, just that my priorities have shifted. Not that I used to spend an inordinate amount of time getting ready in the morning, but I spend even less now and it feels quite nice.

So I’ve had a lot of time to reflect about my family situation. There are times when my relationship with my immediate family gets the best of me and I start looking down this abyss of loneliness. I start recalling all the bad things that happened in the past and think of all the things I wished had happened instead. I don’t know what it is that caused this rift, I’ve asked multiple times to only be told there is no underlying ill-will. But how do explain the treatment? But then I remind myself how fortunate I am. I have people who love me, a home, and a good job - and really that’s all that anyone can ask for. I sometimes don’t express all that bubbles underneath this surface. I feel like I have to remind myself constantly how lucky I am because that darkening voice is always there; waiting to pounce at any moment, judging, brooding, waiting to feed on any insecurity, just any opportunity to manifest. 

Although I’m sure I look like the second lady, I feel like the first. I keep hugging my belly and “protecting” it. I look at it in awe every day, amazed that something is growing inside of me. Alright, I’m done gushing - hoping that whoever is reading this is having a wonderful day and always remember:

You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important 

- Aibileen Clark

#hydrosalpinx #mylittlesunshine #mybabystory #Miracle #pregnant

[mytinyatlas]

bump alert

Visible bump has officially appeared as of late. I was wondering when something would finally show up and a few days ago it became a bit more apparent! Particularly when I sit, and I absolutely love it. I just think the visual aspect of it makes the pregnancy seem that more validated (because the ultrasound and pains didn’t lol). I am not necessarily showing that much, but it definitely looks like more than just a large dinner. 

This week, I’ll officially announce to my direct team members. I am pretty excited to share the news. Well, rather than directly announcing the news, we are gathering at the office so I am hoping someone will point out my protruding belly. 

My appetite as of late has been insatiable. Not only am I eating 3 times a day (normally I would just eat twice daily), but I feel the urge to snack between meals. I still crave hamburgers and beef in general, however, I normally prepare whatever I have at home. These meals never seem to satiate my palate as its never normally what I crave, but I know I have to curb my unhealthier habits. 

#hydrosalpinx #mylittlesunshine #miracle #pregnant #mybabystory

[mytinyatlas]

under the weather

Since last Wednesday I had been battling a cold. Sore throat, running nose, minor fever and all. I had been worried since 1. I didn’t know the source of the cold 2. making sure no other symptoms arose. I went through my head who I interacted with in the past few days and hoping the symptoms did not worsen. Needless to say it’s been a week since and I am nearly recovered (feeling 95% back to normal?). Generally I rarely get sick and if I do I kinda power through it. This one had me curled up in a ball and all I wanted was sleep. I get on my partners case every time they're because they always take time off and it becomes practically bed-ridden. I always get on their case for being so dramatic. I guess this time it was my turn. 

This is my 16th week of pregnancy! I just had the ultrasound and the heartbeat was music to my ears. Every day is a blessing and I’m just a big pile of mush. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to continue volunteering where I read to kids in underserved schools and cities. Its been a rewarding experience and at one point, I had entertained the idea of adopting, especially an older child. I’m just so gosh darn excited I can barely contain myself. I want to tell everyone the news but I’ll hold off for now. Just waiting until I’m further along before I announce it. 

#hydrosalpinx #Miracle #pregnant #mylittlesunshine #mybabystory